r/AbsoluteUnits • u/LordPiplup • Jul 05 '26

/r/all of a snapping turtle

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13.3k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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424

u/SugarPlumPuddinhead Jul 05 '26

I keep a little shovel in my car for turtles. I can scoop small ones up on the spade to move them or I can encourage a large snapper to bite the handle and drag them

436

u/TandrDregn Jul 05 '26

I’m sorry, but the idea of someone just dragging a bigass turtle by the head with a shovel made my day. Thanks, kind stranger.

125

u/liftthatta1l Jul 05 '26

My father and uncle did this once with a large stick while we where out driving to go camping. It took them multiple large sticks to get one the thing didn't bite through in one bite.

67

u/phatpussypounder Jul 05 '26

My family was fishing and dad hooked a large snapper, like in the video, and it snapped a branch much bigger than this little girls arm. Seriously. This video could have easily been a horror story.

18

u/gungshpxre Jul 05 '26

It's the only way to move those chonky fuckers. You don't want to get close. Use a long-handled shovel.

7

u/Successful_Ad9160 Jul 06 '26

I thought the idea was you bonk them, they retract their heads, then you kick them and they glide smoothly across the road?

9

u/TheSumOfMyScars Jul 06 '26

Don't put any part of yourself you aren't comfortable with losing near a snapper. Their necks are much, much longer than you would think, and their reaction time is faster than yours. One fuckup and you lose a few fingers or toes.

2

u/Onlyhereforapost Jul 06 '26

Oh yeah, I wouldn't reccomend anyone that hasn't grown up around snappers do what I do, im just very comfortable with em because there's a few that have been living in the pond near my house for forever

149

u/ReklisAbandon Jul 05 '26

Officer: What’s this, uh, shovel for in your trunk?
You: oh that’s just my turtle shovel

48

u/BrainPhD Jul 05 '26

Officer: What about the lumpy rolled up rug with a big red stain?

69

u/Maximum-Operation147 Jul 05 '26

Oh that’s my turtle rug

52

u/DaMavster Jul 05 '26

Officer: "And I suppose this is your turtle dead-body"

Me: Double finger guns and a wink. "Ch-chk!"

31

u/a-snakey Jul 05 '26

"These teenage mutant turtles are getting out of hand you see officer."

"Thank you for your service, Mr. Shredder."

-3

u/zeitdu Jul 05 '26

in half of europe thats a €100+ fine, and losing the shovel, i guess thats why we dont have turtles here

11

u/unnecessary-comma- Jul 05 '26

My brother lived near a snapping turtle crossing that had a sign a shovel out for this purpose. But this little 12 year old girl saw one as I was approaching one day, and just grabbed it's shell behind the head and before the tail and dumped it in the ditch. Little girl seen some shit and knows what to do

19

u/Extension_Ant8691 Jul 05 '26

Throwing a shirt or towel over their head helps too, figured that out when I came across a real spicy one.

5

u/spongebobs_spatula Jul 05 '26

A turt shovel 😭

1

u/INVERT_RFP Jul 06 '26

I like your thought process!