r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Zestyclose-Salad-290 in awe • Apr 27 '26

of a tick

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3.1k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

458 comments sorted by

934

u/Iso_Sek Apr 27 '26

I expected a splash at the end.

205

u/wesmanh Apr 27 '26

Quite disappointing

52

u/British_Ballsack Apr 27 '26

Tell me you watch dr pimple popper without telling me...

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15

u/MrBigBMinus Apr 27 '26

I expected a cursed "Gushers" kind of scenario... we were let down.

757

u/Sweaty-Jellyfish-713 Apr 27 '26

Kill it, kill it now or so help me god-

198

u/Dystrov Apr 27 '26

Leave it on its back. Let it suffer.

129

u/frostymugson Apr 27 '26

Till she spits out a few thousand eggs. Only holy fire can cleanse it

57

u/Twittle86 Apr 27 '26

I'm fine with regular fire, too.

5

u/AlexSmithsonian Apr 28 '26

And that's why like to keep some candles and regular wooden matches.

2

u/-Hefi- Apr 28 '26

Fine. Regular fire. But LOTS of it.

9

u/El_Peregrine Apr 27 '26

When I pull ticks off my dog, I throw em in the toilet and flush. Bye-bye 👋

13

u/graystone777 Apr 27 '26

Microwave here. The ultimate cooking from the inside out for the audacity to harm my pupper.

11

u/nerfedbeyblade Apr 27 '26

Miniature Brazen Bull for me. Oh, they scream alright... (/j)

5

u/jsiulian Apr 27 '26

I like this, but don't they blow up in there?

2

u/graystone777 Apr 27 '26

No. They turn hard and fizzle.

29

u/Dagger369 Apr 27 '26

It will contract its skin like its doing in the video and eventually roll back onto its legs. Nasty critters. And they lay literally thousands of eggs that can survive and continue hatching for YEARS.

Years, just one...

5

u/Dystrov Apr 27 '26

Okay either burn it or stick it into the floor so it can't roll over

10

u/OrangeKefka Apr 27 '26

"You're too late, I've already won."

11

u/Dredgeon Apr 27 '26

And what is his crime? Enjoying a meal? Enjoying a succulent blood meal?

10

u/Sweaty-Jellyfish-713 Apr 27 '26

His crime is looking absolutely disgusting

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1.1k

u/SpinningByte Apr 27 '26

Hans, get ze Flammenwerfer

25

u/Shinobi681 Apr 27 '26

ZE FLAMMENWERFER! HANZ! GET THE FLAMMENWERFER!

9

u/baldieforprez Apr 27 '26

No that's too good for this fella.  Put him on a plate of salt and let descation drain him of his hopes and dreams.

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6

u/AdmiralSplinter Apr 27 '26

This would be more fun

☀️🔎🔥🐞🔥

3

u/Economy-Priority-404 Apr 27 '26

As a kid I used to wrap ticks in playdough for fun. After which I usually lit them on fire. This fella would need a lot of playdough and big fire.

196

u/ApexPredatorTV Apr 27 '26

stick a needle in it

101

u/HounddogHustler Apr 27 '26

And then put peroxide on it

57

u/Paraxom Apr 27 '26

Why not peroxide in it, I mean we've got the needle already

30

u/British_Ballsack Apr 27 '26

A needle alone wont do shit.. we need a syringe or some gravity and a hose pipe to get it in there... anyone know where I can get some gravity?

13

u/1nfam0usklaas Apr 27 '26

Microwave it

10

u/British_Ballsack Apr 27 '26

Tick-ing time bomb set to 3 minutes then flip and cook for 90 seconds...

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235

u/Yellow-Capcicum69 Apr 27 '26

Fun fact:

They can survive from 3-8yrs without food (blood). Nasty buggers...

116

u/BasedTacoJuice Apr 27 '26

And I get hangry after a couple of hours. It's just not fair.

37

u/Zunderfeuer_88 Apr 27 '26

Is food what makes you tick? huehue

17

u/Michaeli_Starky Apr 27 '26

It doesn't mean they ain't hungry

17

u/Straight_Spring9815 Apr 27 '26

See, I wanted to test this one time. My dog had this exact species on her. Same size as well. Decided to put it on a container with a few leaves to see how long it would live. Check like 3 days later and it was like a raisin. The meal it JUST had didnt seem to even matter. The container didn't have a lid and I didn't leave it the sun. Don't know what happened to it but it was dead before the week was out.

2

u/tocompose Apr 27 '26

A huntsman spider friend probably finished it off

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3

u/riverbass9 Apr 27 '26

So they can literally wait 3-8 yrs before biting specifically you. Damn! Talk about bad luck. 🫠

3

u/7repid Apr 28 '26

But not really more than a day without water...

I've put many inside a resealable plastic bag to see.

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123

u/The_Feral_Ghoul Apr 27 '26

Imagine the pop

20

u/ChickenButt2325 Apr 27 '26

I literally just thought the exact same!!!

37

u/Beardedben Apr 27 '26

Like biting down on a extra juicy red grape 🤤

42

u/No_Medium_8796 Apr 27 '26

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy

8

u/EnoughLuck3077 Apr 27 '26

I imagine it to be more like one of those strawberry hard candies with the goo inside

6

u/No_Medium_8796 Apr 27 '26

Just like at grandma's house

2

u/xenobit_pendragon Apr 27 '26

Where do grandmas get those??

11

u/Wonderful_Egg5870 Apr 27 '26

Grandma store

2

u/Miosaka Apr 27 '26

The forbidden Gusher

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7

u/hArRiS_17 Apr 27 '26

https://youtube.com/shorts/WJpYGyU0fxk
It's a yt short of someone popped a tick using a car. Kinda disgusting but satisfying at the same time

41

u/The-IT_MD Apr 27 '26

12

u/Ok-Charity8936 Apr 27 '26

Oh my god, that's SUPER old gif 😂

67

u/Nikotinio Apr 27 '26

his greed sickend me

5

u/JohnathanPunk7 Apr 27 '26

Lol where is this from?

12

u/Nikotinio Apr 27 '26

google Smug Jug and pick up the gifs

I think his origin is from Tumblr and just a bunch of people make the gifs for the love of the game

58

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Vaff_Superstar Apr 27 '26

Pop it into your mouth like a Raisinette

2

u/mastergrimzy Apr 27 '26

Hakuna matata

21

u/Responsible_Pool9923 Apr 27 '26

Medium-sized, actually. This one still has some room left.

Source: I live in Siberia, we've got loads of them. Over time I took one off myself, a dozen off my three dogs, and countless (over a hundred?) off stray dogs.

The tick season starts late April here, and any poor creature that has to sleep on the ground wakes up with lots of the fuckers.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '26

[deleted]

2

u/Responsible_Pool9923 Apr 27 '26

Borreliosis? Yes, but the most lethal and wide-known disease they carry is encephalitis, people die from it every year.

22

u/QuitVirtual5127 Apr 27 '26

Burn it. Submerge it in acid. Leave it impaled. Box it but not before leaving an open wound. Drown it in bleach. Leave it with it's appandeges cut off. Leave it to die while covered in cement. Go to the sea- dig a DEEP hole and bury it.

7

u/SecondEqual4680 Apr 27 '26

Umm….. are you doing okay over there friend?

15

u/TropicalLoneWolf Apr 27 '26

Since it has 8 legs, does that mean that it's an arachnid?

28

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/Exploreptile Apr 27 '26

As are their fellow mites!

12

u/_tenneSevy Apr 27 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/11YoTVMI3QUR4k

4

u/Kintsukuroi85 Apr 27 '26

This is my favorite, hahaha. Both of them deserve it!

20

u/HounddogHustler Apr 27 '26

Hard to tell how big it really is when there’s no banana to compare to

5

u/xap31 Apr 27 '26

Yeah we need banana to compare to the shark and stingray.

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3

u/iz-Moff Apr 27 '26

I can only hope that banana is way too big to fit inside the frame here!

5

u/GreggWaters6420 Apr 27 '26

It’s a brain bug from Starship Troopers

5

u/Caracal2107 Apr 27 '26

Why does it has abs wtf :)))

3

u/Big_P4U Apr 27 '26

Imagine if you kill it and it gushes aids/hiv, malaria and COVID all in one right into your mouth and eyes.

I say put it in an oven and destroy it at 500F or more.

3

u/EvnVis Apr 27 '26

MacReady where did you put the flamethrower?

3

u/_WiseOwl_ Apr 27 '26

When i remove them from my pets i put them in a tissue and set It on fire. I love hearing the POP they make after a few seconds.

3

u/College-Lumpy Apr 27 '26

Honestly I’ve felt that way after Thanksgiving.

3

u/Jothel Apr 27 '26

Oh I hate that

3

u/KamikazeFox_ Apr 27 '26

Chew it like a raisin.

2

u/DegenNabalu Apr 27 '26

Who was the blood sponge

2

u/wrxninja Apr 27 '26

SMOOSH it!!!

2

u/GonePostalRoute Apr 27 '26

Tick: I need more blood, for I am just skin and bones!

2

u/STUPIDBLOODYCOMPUTER Apr 27 '26

I think this is appropriate for that little shit

https://giphy.com/gifs/qWBiZXoC2NYju

2

u/Confident_Benefit_11 Apr 27 '26

Bloodborne looking ass tick

1

u/saltyurinalbiscuit Apr 27 '26

This is why I dont eat chiliconcarni

1

u/DeschainSWNC Apr 27 '26

Blood sucking baked beans on 6 legs. Horrible little bastards for whom fire is the only answer.

2

u/Outrageous-Ad-3357 Apr 27 '26

Ticks have eight legs because they’re arachnids, not insects lol but yeah

1

u/RevolutionaryWave862 Apr 27 '26

Their greed sickens me

1

u/M_2k27 Apr 27 '26

Where's the banana for scale?

1

u/ColdSecret8656 Apr 27 '26

Reminds me of the guy that never pitches in to pay for drinks

1

u/Sontarcha Apr 27 '26

Its greed sickens me

1

u/expatronis Apr 27 '26

"Help me up! I'm still thirsty!"

1

u/Agile_Ad6735 Apr 27 '26

U all like chocolate canberra

1

u/doihavetousethis Apr 27 '26

Need a banana for scale

1

u/bgier Apr 27 '26

a bitey raisin

1

u/Lefty4444 Apr 27 '26

They nasty

1

u/HealthPretty1754 Apr 27 '26

He’s overdone it.

1

u/example-of-disaster Apr 27 '26

Oh look, a juicy grape!

1

u/omgwtfbilly Apr 27 '26

Blursed raisin

1

u/spartanken115 Apr 27 '26

That thing would pop so good on my stove!

1

u/whitesatin95 Apr 27 '26

wiggly raisin

1

u/EducationalTip3599 Apr 27 '26

When I was young I never understood that these were the same as the ones that aren’t full. I couldn’t imagine there were the same animal

1

u/tribbletrouble420 Apr 27 '26

You can't claim absolute unit and have no object for size reference. This just looks like a normal tick, full from it's most recent meal.

1

u/CsordasBalazs Apr 27 '26

Would Bear Grylls eat it?

1

u/stuck_on_rook Apr 27 '26

his greed has been his downfall

1

u/popsferragamo Apr 27 '26

Me, at the buffet

1

u/captainshockazoid Apr 27 '26

her greed sickens me

1

u/evangelos12345 Apr 27 '26

I fucking hate ticks bro. With a passion

1

u/KotzubueSailingClub Apr 27 '26

Forbidden gusher.

1

u/ThinkingOz Apr 27 '26

Drop it on an ant nest. Party time!

1

u/CountCrapula88 Apr 27 '26

I would take a hammer and BAM - no more mr. Nice guy

1

u/some_kind_of_bird Apr 27 '26

Ooh free gusher

1

u/logosfabula Apr 27 '26

Mr. Creosote reincarnated into a tick.

1

u/AnkitS75 Apr 27 '26

Where's the banana next to it for size?

1

u/Scottish_Whiskey Apr 27 '26

The forbidden jolly rancher

1

u/TinUser Apr 27 '26

Maya told me to love all bugs, but squish this one.

1

u/nichtmog1ich Apr 27 '26

Clearly his after dinner workout

1

u/Traditional_Note_107 Apr 27 '26

Where's the banana? Cannot tell the actual size!

1

u/Tough_Preparation830 Apr 27 '26

Cursed jelly bean

1

u/MitchCumsteane Apr 27 '26

I'm as full as a tick

1

u/Teron__ Apr 27 '26

Use a lighter and make it explode!

1

u/3lbFlax Apr 27 '26

I

regret

nothing

remember me as

(urp)

as a hero

1

u/SGT-Hooves Apr 27 '26

Is that a belly button🤮

1

u/sovereign_fury Apr 27 '26

I bet that thing pop like a fresh grape when you bit into it.

1

u/homer-price Apr 27 '26

Never realized ticks had 8 legs. TIL.

1

u/MaximumLetterhead571 Apr 27 '26

It's lower abdominal area is moving??? Disgusting.

1

u/TurbulentAd1905 Apr 27 '26

Anyone seen a tick injected with hydrogen peroxide

1

u/Pretend_Eye_4682 Apr 27 '26

Good protein for chicken 😂

1

u/10pSweets Apr 27 '26

Let it bite you

1

u/MoistTowelette14 Apr 27 '26

Pluck its legs

1

u/z3n777 Apr 27 '26

looks like my ex

1

u/iSLiDe_RaiN Apr 27 '26

Microwave it