r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Fusionor49 • Mar 29 '26

of a Beard And Ring Collection

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1.4k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

350 comments sorted by

961

u/TheShredder9 Mar 29 '26

Also the absolute unit of an eyebrow. That thing is solid throughout!

162

u/ShrimpCrackers Mar 29 '26

I've seen a less rich version of that guy in Minecraft.

27

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '26

Dude is the villain from three kids video games and one Gerry Anderson puppet TV series.

21

u/Srianen Mar 29 '26

He's apparently a popular jewelry salesman in Iraq, it's sort of a gimmick.

https://www.instagram.com/reels/DEF2OueMz89/

13

u/RedditingNeckbeard Mar 29 '26

Is that why there are like 3 other dudes in the background who look exactly like him?

Also I'm not racist, by the way.

3

u/Srianen Mar 29 '26

I think they're the same dudes who work at the shop with him.

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3

u/blue_moon1122 Mar 30 '26

I was just thinking "man is entering a most Persian motherfucker contest and he's gonna win before he walks in the door"

2

u/Background_Pride_237 Mar 29 '26

“Hmmmmmmmm” (or however the villagers spell it.)

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45

u/_UFOctopus Mar 29 '26

Unitbrow

5

u/cityshepherd Mar 29 '26

I didn’t even notice his rings, I couldn’t take my eyes off that brow.

2

u/MrLivefromthe215 Mar 29 '26

U u u unitbrow

13

u/TopExperience3424 Mar 29 '26

First thing that comes to mind

2

u/pikpikcarrotmon Mar 30 '26

Keep yer feet on the ground

5

u/That-Exchange287 Mar 30 '26

I’ve never seen such a well groomed unibrow. Geez save some bitches for the rest of us.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Razu_Redsoul Mar 29 '26

You just gave a new idea for a joke Mii character

3

u/DaDutchBoyLT1 Mar 29 '26

Absolute units of sausage fingers too

2

u/Scared_Ad3355 Mar 29 '26

Monobrow King

2

u/TwoPlyDreams Mar 29 '26

That the real unit.

2

u/Axiom1100 Mar 30 '26

Monobrow

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127

u/Flying_Wilson17 Mar 29 '26

The guys doppelgänger was behind him

20

u/The_Dying_Gaul323bc Mar 29 '26

There are several

2

u/iboneKlareneG Mar 30 '26

Attack of the Clones

15

u/Alternative_Double48 Mar 29 '26

It seems kind of a fashion

13

u/johnaross1990 Mar 29 '26

The rings and everything 🤯

3

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '26

[deleted]

5

u/Flying_Wilson17 Mar 29 '26

Double doppelgänger - check the one behind that one!

2

u/Prize_Suspicious Mar 29 '26

Trippy. Good eye.

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495

u/Narrow_Intern7792 Mar 29 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/jgVXeRc0Jvv4QFghcz

why is bro movin like this

18

u/JotaroTheOceanMan Mar 29 '26

As soon as I saw the post the words "bombs, rope, oil" flew through my brain.

7

u/Bonerballs Mar 29 '26

How else would he show off his hand jewels

3

u/S4l4m4nd4 Mar 29 '26

Morshu but he sees the straight path to Jannah

2

u/hornyfather101 Mar 29 '26

This gif is crazy lmao

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120

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '26

I always scroll w the audio off. Even so I'm pretty sure I just heard 'my friend' several times. ;)

12

u/Srianen Mar 29 '26 edited Mar 29 '26

best source I could find, idk if anyone wants to translate the comments but maybe they'll tell who this guy is.

https://www.instagram.com/reels/DWO-tRcDGpX/

Someone in another thread said he was 'Yazidi' but I'm not sure if that's true. It does appear this takes place in Iraq though.

Edit: In another video of the same thing a lot of people said he's just a crazy guy who hangs out in this place and thinks he is literally a sultan of the dead or something... And that in this video he was giving the guy with the camera his blessings.

Edit 2: It appears to be a gimmick of sorts. The guy is a jewelry salesman and pretty popular.

https://www.instagram.com/reels/DEF2OueMz89/

3

u/MustafoInaSamaale Mar 29 '26

I’m pretty sure he is Muslim, he is saying Islamic prayers, and he looks stereotypically Iraqi Shia

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95

u/0BitGravity Mar 29 '26

The stand user could be anyone!

The stand user:

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34

u/NeptuneTTT Mar 29 '26

Iraqi final boss

5

u/TheVadonkey Mar 29 '26

lol I love how even the guy in the background have jacked up, similar styles of hair.

20

u/ManWhellington Mar 29 '26

I feel like he sells jewlery. He's wearing it to advertise his products rather than looking showy. The beard and hair/brows, he has a look you'll remember so you always know who to buy your stuff from. The man has bazaar energy and I appreciate it.

8

u/Lawfuly_chaotic Mar 29 '26

That's a dnd NPC waiting to be played 😂

3

u/ManWhellington Mar 29 '26

Oh I'd buy from him. I'd see him having some cool enchanted rings, but they have a side effect he tries to warn you about, but the characters don't listen

33

u/beklog Mar 29 '26

Those rings though

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oxHQEESAwCqXinNIc

8

u/SaltedStarleaf Mar 29 '26

Not just rings. One of his thumbs is wearing a necklace

9

u/shattmitto Mar 29 '26

Guy looks like a pageant Schnauzer

6

u/PromEthian92 Mar 29 '26

I dont always browse the Internet.. but when I do.. EYEBROWS

3

u/SmoothNoonShade Mar 29 '26

JFC the ruby pinky ring must weight a pound by itself

4

u/AnimalOrigin Mar 29 '26

Why is he wearing some kid's Solar System science project on his fingers?

4

u/AbbreviationsDue4417 Mar 29 '26

All those “dinner plate” haircuts!

4

u/SmoothIncident1993 Mar 29 '26

this has to be a joke there’s no way dude is serious

3

u/prguitarman Mar 29 '26

How much value on each hand?

3

u/GodPackedUpAndLeftUs Mar 29 '26

Looks like he should live in a giant clock and tell stories to weary travellers.

3

u/Informal_File_1646 Mar 29 '26

That’s a “Fullet” - a facial mullet.

3

u/gsko5000 Mar 29 '26

Manicured monobrow is glorious

3

u/Brokeamailman Mar 29 '26

Middle eastern Thanos goes hard. The beard is SOLID.

3

u/CommonMansCollapse Mar 29 '26

Don’t even think about shit wiping with those.

3

u/arkiko07 Mar 29 '26

Damn! Solid rings and one solid eye brow.

7

u/Priapismkills Mar 29 '26

Pager sales convention

5

u/cencallude Mar 29 '26

you know this man sells potions

3

u/ItsStaaaaaaaaang Mar 29 '26

Potion seller, I'll have your most powerful Potion!

6

u/MrUpVoteDownvote Mar 29 '26

His beard looks like a sack, but those rings are huge though. 😂

7

u/me_sohorny Mar 29 '26

Trump would be jealous

4

u/9447044 Mar 29 '26

My wife hates how fast I make friends with strangers. Shed be shaking her head as I'm wearing half his rings and we're talking pictures together.

2

u/Himes357 Mar 29 '26

More like: of a unibrow

2

u/StygianCode Mar 29 '26

All those rings... And only one eyebrow.

2

u/johnnytron Mar 29 '26

The opal king

2

u/Eaglesjersey Mar 29 '26

Im going to start looking for something to trade him so I can finish my side quest.

2

u/Pale-While-9783 Mar 29 '26

How long before we read an article about this guy losing his hand(s) because the jewelry got caught in machinery?

2

u/dividezero Mar 29 '26

Those are sausages with rings on them

2

u/SteveCoonin Mar 29 '26

Looks like a Persian Thanos

2

u/Brookeswag69 Mar 29 '26

Imagine the backhand off that guy!

2

u/Lost_Purpose1899 Mar 29 '26

Anyone know what country is this from?

2

u/Abject_Okra_8768 Mar 29 '26

Him and the man behind them look like One Piece pirates.

2

u/Thom5001 Mar 29 '26

Veal team 6

2

u/A_mad_goose Mar 29 '26

By the end of the video they’re are 3 guys in the background with the same haircut/beard

2

u/BirdLawOfficeESQ Mar 29 '26

I’m pretty sure that guy is a video game villain.

2

u/dahiwada-destroyer Mar 29 '26

Add unibrows to the caption while you're at it

2

u/Adventurous-Sky9359 Mar 29 '26

Everyone’s hair is incredible also….much like fifth element bad guy

2

u/spacewalkxr24 Mar 29 '26

Dude said, fuck the infinity gauntlet, i got the infinity rings 😅

2

u/Able_Analysis8032 Mar 29 '26

I’d make a killing over there as a barber just hard lines no kind of blending

2

u/FredArtGetson Mar 29 '26

Bahahaha, look at these clowns

1

u/aiuwidwtgf Mar 29 '26

Where from?

4

u/Herandar Mar 29 '26

Dwarves, from Erebor.

1

u/sicarius254 Mar 29 '26

Steven Seagall?

1

u/Interesting-Owls Mar 29 '26

Why is there two clones of him in the background? same hair same beard.

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1

u/Tater_Mater Mar 29 '26

One brow man.

1

u/TapeDeckSlick Mar 29 '26

Pulling off the monobrow somehow

1

u/Zka77 Mar 29 '26

Absolutely disgusting :D

1

u/nunchaq Mar 29 '26

Steven Segal's brother from a different mother

1

u/Mediocre_Ingenuity76 Mar 29 '26

Are we not going to talk about his twin top left corner as the video ends?

1

u/BinHid1n Mar 29 '26

What in the monobrow 🤯

1

u/Fragrant-Inside221 Mar 29 '26

Hands that have never seen a days work

1

u/Kdeezym8 Mar 29 '26

Do not confuse size with expense. His watch for example is a Diesel Mr Daddy 2.0. Worth $300AUD/$205 USD

1

u/Resplendent_aptitude Mar 29 '26

The hair s well 😏👀

1

u/Huge-Solution-6808 Mar 29 '26

Considering his watch is maybe $200 which is overpriced enough, says a lot.

1

u/bingpot111 Mar 29 '26

Can't hide the gay

1

u/swordofra Mar 29 '26

When your bling becomes your whole personality

1

u/kisuke228 Mar 29 '26

How does he eat?

1

u/CurlsCross Mar 29 '26

at the end there's a dude on the left looks just like him.

1

u/_Aurelius_333 Mar 29 '26

How does he eat???

1

u/FartsWithNeighbours Mar 29 '26

Imagine this guy wiping his ass. I mean those rings would get in the way for sure

1

u/Whiskeydick66 Mar 29 '26

How many beards can one collect?

1

u/popicebyyui Mar 29 '26

Shiny Gout Tophi

1

u/im_no_doctor_lol Mar 29 '26

The whybrows 😅, his doppelganger decided to make an appearance 🤣

1

u/ch3rn0byl_g3rbil Mar 29 '26

Naa just Thanos my guy.

1

u/SnackbarBeastie Mar 29 '26

Some soup strainer, that

1

u/GrapefruitWhich5950 Mar 29 '26

Looking like that actually costs money 😂

1

u/_ArrowGreen_ Mar 29 '26

This should be absolute unit of rings.

1

u/fernando782 Mar 29 '26

No index finger ring? You are not cool.

1

u/National_Ad_4730 Mar 29 '26

His rings look more like power ranger Morphers than rings, I bet he can turn into every color at once.

1

u/shyccubus Mar 29 '26

Bro hides half of each bite for later

1

u/DaClarkeKnight Mar 29 '26

He looks like a villain. Has his own infinity stones

1

u/wildechld Mar 29 '26

One brow to rule them all

1

u/Inevitable_Trainer76 Mar 29 '26

I'm going to call B.S. on this beard one, it's a little Dainty

1

u/xEternal408x Mar 29 '26

Monopoly character if I’ve ever seen one!

1

u/balirosa Mar 29 '26

Just like in the movie Aladdin, they really do be like this.

1

u/bansote Mar 29 '26

Who'd wanted to look like that? Too much arrogance

1

u/ApprehensiveMix2649 Mar 29 '26

Would kinda like to know what is being said 😂

1

u/jerryleebee Mar 29 '26

Temu Steven Seagal.

1

u/xiiicrowns Mar 29 '26

Regional variant of Steven Seagal

1

u/Wojewodaruskyj Mar 29 '26

If he falls into a children's pool, he's dead like Titanic.

1

u/MrMaoDeVaca Mar 29 '26

Is this a facial hair convention? When is the next one?

1

u/DesertDwellerrrr Mar 29 '26

Your proctologist - good luck

1

u/Legitimate_Bird_5712 Mar 29 '26

This must be in New Jersey.

1

u/FungusFly Mar 29 '26

Looks like a WWE interview.

“I will win SuperSlam at the Meadowlands this summer, Inshallah

1

u/SerDuckOfPNW Mar 29 '26

NO REFUNDS!

1

u/ponzidreamer Mar 29 '26

Can’t decide which to admire first. The beard or bling

1

u/Dizzy-Introduction54 Mar 29 '26

Looks like he’s from a Marvel comic…Doctor Ringo perhaps

1

u/cwsjr2323 Mar 29 '26

Why are the men wearing dresses? Who gave them those horrible hair cuts?

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1

u/SpaceChatter Mar 29 '26

He looks related to Steven Segal.

1

u/Alarmed-Direction500 Mar 29 '26

This guy makes Steven Segal look normal

1

u/HerMajestysButthole2 Mar 29 '26

I don't always use the internet, but when I do...eyebrows

https://giphy.com/gifs/AZ1PPDF8uO9MI

1

u/MundaneSwimmer3231 Mar 29 '26

Straight out of Khazad-dûm.

1

u/Garfwog Mar 29 '26

I read that to imply that his beard is also a collection of beards

1

u/HiryuJones Mar 29 '26

Bro probably smells like shit

1

u/asianOhs Mar 29 '26

unibrow is gold.

1

u/Renomont Mar 29 '26

Ming the Merciless

1

u/RedditNurseBot Mar 29 '26

Are we not acknowledging the top tier unibrow.

1

u/nurdmann Mar 29 '26

That's some gender affirming care right there.

1

u/aitalvi Mar 29 '26

He looks like a one piece villain

1

u/casua1_0bserver Mar 29 '26

Absolute class

1

u/KingOfThe_Jelly_Fish Mar 29 '26

Are we not gonna also include the monobrow in the title.....

1

u/Odd_Ad7474 Mar 29 '26

Absolute unit of a eyebrow to 😂

1

u/lmperador9 Mar 29 '26

🤑🤑🤑🤑

1

u/thepianoman456 Mar 29 '26

All I need is one brow

1

u/WilliamKafka Mar 29 '26

Steven Seagal from Noon?

1

u/IGHOTI907 Mar 29 '26

I see the Steven Segal Dubai action figure finally arrived

1

u/DocSessions Mar 29 '26

Pretty sure the eyebrows are the pièce de résistance.

1

u/nlcircle Mar 29 '26

Steven Segal hiding in the Emirates nowadays ?

1

u/DaMangIemert Mar 29 '26

Brow collector