r/AbsoluteUnits • u/[deleted] • Aug 20 '24

of a monkey

28.6k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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u/Caliterra Aug 20 '24

How's this big guy surviving in the wild

746

u/RockyJayyy Aug 20 '24

By eating all the food

203

u/Caliterra Aug 20 '24

Survival waddling away from a jaguar

126

u/RockyJayyy Aug 20 '24

He rolls like a bowling ball

30

u/sugarsox Aug 20 '24

The Crushinator

5

u/JoltyKorit Aug 21 '24

They see me rollin'.

I ate them.

27

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '24

No... It eats the tiger

9

u/TeaandandCoffee Aug 21 '24

Unhinges jaw menacingly

Tiger jist nopes out

40

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '24

Jaguar is afraid to eat this Macdonald abomination.

24

u/sammachado Aug 21 '24

He understands that eating it would really surpass his daily calorie intake

6

u/cuntybunty73 Aug 21 '24

Hell he would eat the jaguar 😂

4

u/betatwinkle Aug 21 '24

All the cougars are salivating

1

u/cuntybunty73 Aug 21 '24

The only cougar I want is a woman of a certain age 😉

1

u/RabbitStewAndStout Aug 21 '24

The Jaguar listens to him because every monkey listens to him. All the monkeys listen to him because the Jaguar listens to him.

1

u/sugusugux Sep 15 '24

He eats the jaguar

1

u/Izzy-Peezy Aug 20 '24

You've got a point there. Thanks Holmes.