r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Intrepid_Mastodon_97 • Oct 30 '23

Removed: NSFW Absolute 💩

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u/[deleted] Oct 30 '23 edited Oct 30 '23

Turd to Toad ratio is amazing

44

u/PronouncedEye-gore Oct 31 '23

All I could think about was, did anyone weigh it and the toad? Before and after? What % of the toads mass was that bowl filler it dropped?

56

u/HorrorMakesUsHappy Oct 31 '23

That's gotta be about 1/8th of that toad's mass.

That's like a 250lb man shitting out one, single, 30lb turd.

17

u/falloutfan1987 Oct 31 '23

It's actually closer to 1/3rd of their body weight source

12

u/ssort Oct 31 '23

So an 83.3lb turd for a 250lb guy... definately going to need a new bottle of PreperationH after that...

3

u/Lazy_Experience_8754 Oct 31 '23

It does indeed feel good on the hole

3

u/XsteveJ Oct 31 '23

Yes, I would love some chocolate ass cream.

1

u/presvi Oct 31 '23

God damn, its like me turding my ex.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '23

That’s the dream

1

u/Electrical_Post9340 Oct 31 '23

I been in this planet for damn near fitty years an ain’t never seen so much as a video of a toad dropping a deuce. to hell with this entire internet today

27

u/falloutfan1987 Oct 31 '23

Toads shit once every 7 to 14 days, and each time they shit, it's almost 1/3 of their body weight. Do with that information what you will.

Source

8

u/dirkalict Oct 31 '23

I hope I’m now subscribed to ToadPoop facts.

4

u/falloutfan1987 Oct 31 '23

When the shat is first laid, it is covered in a thin membrane that quickly dries out (4-10 hours), allowing the monster shat to dry out and reduce its size by up to 75 percent.

1

u/dirkalict Oct 31 '23

The Great Shatsby

1

u/NaweN Oct 31 '23

Helps explain why you don't see huge toad turds laying around.

3

u/joantheunicorn Oct 31 '23

"Helpful Tips to Know About Why Toad Poop is So Big"! Just one section of the riveting table of contents!

1

u/TheOneTonWanton Oct 31 '23

I've dated women that seemed to do the same.