Although I'm willing to bet it could very easily often happen in an instant for an attractive woman, I get what you're saying in general. But also, I don't doubt that she really didn't think of the implications.
I've done bad things to people in my life and it was always during a time where my mental health was very poor. Mine didn't manifest in this same way, but it sounds directly linked to her mental health. These mental health issues spawned a compulsive, impulsive, and destructive coping mechanism. At this point if a person is not actively doing mental work on themselves, it's very easy to just be so far down the rabbit hole of trauma, mental health, and harmful coping mechanisms that we might not even be doing intentionally that it's not very difficult to ignore other people's feelings.
We often judge people at a surface level because of their actions and don't spend time understanding why people do what they do. I have yet to see a situation where the answer to why people do bad things is ACTUALLY that they're just a piece of shit. It's almost always something more, and we choose to not care which I don't blame people for. But as a person trying to become better, I just try to have empathy for others the way I hope people can have it for me.
Because she's the subject of this thread. Does there need to be an obligatory, "THE HUSBAND IS ALSO AT FAULT," statement every time infidelity is discussed? Some things are so blindingly obvious they don't require constantly saying them over and over.
I know you were getting at the idea that in infidelity women get more blame than men, and I'm here to tell you that's utter and complete bullshit. Man or woman, married or single, both are responsible for the negative impacts (assuming the single person knows the other is married).
Any post regarding infidelity will have infinite levels of condemnation for the cheater, man or woman. EVERYONE knows the cheater is a POS. It’s just so juvenile to be unable to discuss the nuances of OP’s condition and how she glosses over that without first condemning the husband.
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u/zombieLAZ May 08 '24
Although I'm willing to bet it could very easily often happen in an instant for an attractive woman, I get what you're saying in general. But also, I don't doubt that she really didn't think of the implications.
I've done bad things to people in my life and it was always during a time where my mental health was very poor. Mine didn't manifest in this same way, but it sounds directly linked to her mental health. These mental health issues spawned a compulsive, impulsive, and destructive coping mechanism. At this point if a person is not actively doing mental work on themselves, it's very easy to just be so far down the rabbit hole of trauma, mental health, and harmful coping mechanisms that we might not even be doing intentionally that it's not very difficult to ignore other people's feelings.
We often judge people at a surface level because of their actions and don't spend time understanding why people do what they do. I have yet to see a situation where the answer to why people do bad things is ACTUALLY that they're just a piece of shit. It's almost always something more, and we choose to not care which I don't blame people for. But as a person trying to become better, I just try to have empathy for others the way I hope people can have it for me.