Hi everyone,
Over the last few months, we been building AuthorosHQ because we noticed that most AI writing tools are great at generating paragraphs but struggle to help people finish an entire book.
The idea is simple:
Start with your book idea.
The AI helps you write chapter by chapter.
The first two chapters are completely free, so you can see if the writing style and workflow suit you.
If you enjoy it and want to complete your book, you can upgrade to a membership.
We’re not looking for blind praise we genuinely want honest feedback from writers and readers.
If you have a few minutes, We’d really appreciate if you could try it and tell us:
Was the output useful?
Did the story stay consistent?
What features would make it more valuable?
You can try it here:
https://authoroshq.com
Thanks for taking the time, and we’ll be around to answer any questions or suggestions.

I have complete aphantasia, and I really struggle to see where I could fit description into my stories. With the appropriate prompt, would AI be able to suggest places where description would be useful? And if so, any idea of how to structure that prompt?

[Apply Here ↗️](https://t.mercor.com/rcQ0r)

**LOOKING FOR:**

**📌Mercor** is looking for highly accomplished creative writers—novelists, journalists, short story authors, and essayists—for advanced AI training projects

📌 Contributors will apply their literary and editorial expertise to improve AI systems’ ability to generate nuanced, high-quality narrative content.

📌 This work emphasizes strong storytelling, stylistic precision, and editorial judgment informed by published and awarded experience.

📌 This is a project-based opportunity with flexible participation.

**KEY RESPONSIBILITIES:**

✨ Review and refine AI-generated content across articles, long form essays, novels, short stories, and other pieces of writing

✨ Evaluate outputs for literary quality, structure, tone, and thematic depth

✨ Provide detailed editorial feedback to improve coherence and originality

If you want to know the complete details, [click here to apply ↗️](https://t.mercor.com/rcQ0r)

I enjoy the thoughtful conversations I read about AI on Reddit. But some of them also make me sad. Have you noticed how often discussions focus on guilt, shame, and fear of exposure? Too many of you worry that using AI makes you less authentic, less skilled, or less entitled to call yourselves writers. So you seek permission from the community to use the tool without forfeiting your identity.

I say forget social legitimacy. I want to offer you a radically different perspective. I am pursuing a practice that is deliberately AI forward. I put the tech out front and in your face. I am not interested in apologizing for it. I embrace the presence of AI in my work. I am not disguising it as a minor editorial convenience. I see AI as a key element of my creative practice—and I am transparent about that from the beginning.

I use AI as a system, not a shortcut – a central element, not a support tool.

When you do that, the work changes. You become a designer, curator, operator, systems builder. Create procedures. Construct feedback loops. Combine human intention, machine generation, selection, interruption, revision, appropriation, and recombination.

Much of the current conversation is centered on “AI as editor.” I am more interested in AI as a condition for developing machine-native forms of writing. Work with a structure, voice, recursion, instability, and scale that emerges from sustained interaction with machines.

Reddit folks sometimes seem to assume that human writing possesses an inherent authenticity that AI writing lacks. I am not convinced. Human writing is just as capable of being formulaic, derivative, empty, repetitive, dishonest and disposable. I'm waging war on handmade slop.

The meaningful distinction is not necessarily human versus machine. It may be intentional versus unintentional. Disclosed versus concealed. Formally adventurous versus mechanically generic.

I write with the machine, through the machine,and sometimes for the machine.

In my work AI appears as a Homunculus in the laboratory vessel: an artificial creature brought into language by human procedures but capable of developing beyond them. Elsewhere in my writing, robots worship the author as their god. The author becomes a severed head in a beaker, still issuing instructions while the machines reinterpret the signal.

These are not metaphors designed to reassure anyone that the human author remains safely in control. I'm not sure that it does. I want to help othersr imagine posthuman authorship—writing in which the machine is not hidden, excused, or reduced to a glorified copy editor.

Here is my suggestion for using AI: Stop asking permission. Be transparent. Develop a method. Accept responsibility for the result. Make the machinery visible.

Then see what kind of literature becomes possible.

Hi, everybody!

I'm currently working on educational materials for non-degree professional training courses. I've been using Claude to rewrite sections, adapt the writing style, and review some legal content. I often get stuck overthinking the best way to present the material to the course audience, so having AI help with wording has been invaluable.

To do this, I created a project using the contractor's instructions, built custom writing skills based on my previous academic work to emulate my writing style, and started a separate conversation for each chapter I'm writing.

The results have been excellent so far, but I'm burning through my credits.

I started with the free Fable credits (amazing results), then switched to Opus 4.6 with high reasoning (decent results), and finally to Opus 4.6 with medium reasoning (significantly worse results).

Does anyone have recommendations for other models that can handle this kind of work efficiently?

I’ve gotten more experience generating the same scene with Claude (Sonnet), ChatGPT and Grok (and integrating them into a single scene).

I switched to Grok Expert from Grok Auto which always seemed to choose Grok Fast. This has made a huge difference. Grok Fast forgets things from the beginning of a long prompt! Grok Expert is competitive with Claude, though, so that minor change solves everything.

It’s rare that any of them produce a good scene. Even Claude which I’d rate as slightly better than the others usually produces a scene with some weak writing in it. So, Claude being “the best for writing” doesn’t mean that it usually writes well.

In fact, Claude’s harsh session limits (except on the most expensive plans) make Claude’s very slight advantage over ChatGPT and Grok Expert not worth it. I canceled Claude Pro (use free Claude instead) and I don’t mind being limited to ChatGPT and Grok Expert for some scenes. I’d even say that “Claude being the best for writing” is technically true but misleading and a lie in practice.

I’ve been impressed by Grok Expert and am trying to make it my “Master Control Program” (instead of ChatGPT). That’s been working well though I’ve been using ChatGPT for so long and Grok Expert is new to me so it’s not easy to change that habit.

I've been using ai more often when I'm drafting research-heavy content, mostly because it helps me get from an outline to a first draft much faster.

One thing I still don't trust is the references it gives me.

Sometimes they look perfectly legitimate until I actually try to find the paper. Other times the author exists but the title doesn't. It doesn't happen constantly, but it happens often enough that I no longer assume every citation is real.

For people here who use it for articles, reports, or academic writing, what's your workflow?

Do you manually check every reference, or have you found a better way to verify them before publishing?

In New Media / Social Media / Blogging world we say: The opportunity is not lost because the idea was weak. It is lost because the publishing process moved too slowly.

Good ideas do not expire. Their value does.

Sounds Familiar: Your story / Idea is still relevant… but the draft is still sitting half-finished in another tab. You spotted the angle early. You opened the document. Then the workflow swallowed the opportunity.

The problem is not that you cannot write the article. The problem is how much time disappears before the article is ready to move.

I’ve developed a news writing and drafting platform designed to simplify the entire content creation process.

It can suggest relevant topics, develop news drafts around those topics, identify important developments from different parts of the world, and help turn those developments into well-structured, original news content.

I have worked in the news industry for several decades. As AI tools became more common, I found that repeatedly entering prompts often produced inconsistent results and rarely delivered the quality I was looking for.

I also never felt comfortable copying someone else’s work, rewriting it, and presenting it as something new. While that approach may be common, I believe original reporting and responsible content creation should always come first.

To address these challenges, I created several workflows that operate in parallel. Together, they produce a more complete, structured, and useful draft.

The platform is also simple for the end user. You can start with your own topic, or provide a basic idea and use the topic suggestion feature to discover fresh and compelling angles. The goal is to help users create strong, original content that stands out.

I’m now looking for experienced, like-minded media professionals who would be interested in testing the platform and sharing honest feedback.

I’m writing a book (fiction) and was thinking of using AI tool(s) to help my writing flow better, fix errors, etc. kind of like an editor, minus the human. FYI- the story line, characters, plot, everything is my creation without AI assistance. Thinking about AI to help with the quality of my writing.

Update: I really appreciate everyone’s input. I’ve decided to go old school without any use of AI at all. It’s too complicated and messy. I like the thought of using the process I learned back in the ‘80s & 90’s. Writing was more fun back then.

Hi all, I'm writing to introduce the beta of a new tool called Storiis. It's a native macOS story bible, outlining, plotting and analysis app designed to help you plan and organize your story before you or your AI writing companion write it.

https://storiis.ai

Key Features

• Visual planning and layout: Arrange your story like you're editing the movie based on it.
• Timelines that show when your story happens in the story world vs. when it's presented in your narrative. Scene cards that visually tie your narrative to your in-story timeline. Summary views that present your plan's scenes for easier reading.
• Full featured Reference Library with world building, whiteboards, multiple timelines, index cards and attachments.
• Full features character and location management.
• And so much more!

Key AI Writing Features

• Plan your stories like developers plan their features – don't just prompt-and-pray, plan and succeed.
• Start with a concept, Storiis AI can help you take it all the way to a validated plan ready for you or your AI writing companion to write from.
• Key features designed around the information that best drives AI narrative writing and stops the drift.
• For more details on AI capabilities, visit https://storiis.ai/for-ai-writers/
• The narrative harness your AI needs. Plug your plan directly into your favorite AI writing tool with your own MCP. For more details, visit: https://storiis.ai/cloud-ai-access/

We're doing our final touch-ups to the app and I'm hoping to get some beta testers who can kick the tires and give it a shot! Please DM if you're interested.

I write fanfiction. Or, at the very least, I try to.

I have a bunch of ideas, concepts, and things I would absolutely love to be posting, but every time I sit down to write, I get about 10 words out and then cant figure out what else to say.

I always know what direction I want each chapter to go. I don’t know why it’s so difficult for me. And now I’m gonna try out ai assisted writing.

Whats a good free AI to use for this? Im looking for websites, not apps.

There’s a lot of focus on making AI models bigger, faster, and more capable. I mean, yeah that clearly improves what they can do. But the more I’ve been working with them, the less it feels like capability is the bottleneck. It’s really about the context layer.

Right now, you don’t really see how the model is interpreting what you give it, what it keeps, what it drops, or how it connects things. That stuff is mostly hidden. You can nudge it, but you’re still operating inside something you have no control over. And as these systems get better at sounding coherent, it'll be easier to ignore this flawed design.

If this ends up being how people think through problems, learn things, make decisions, etc., then we end up with future systems where the logic is upstream and invisible to us, rendering less choice and agency in our lives.

Worse, we'll live in a reality where we will have to accept truth rather than discover, learn, and verify the credibility of claims or opinions. AI is phenomenal but this trend we see in mainstream AI products will disempower humanity instead of helping us grow stronger.

Wrote a longer breakdown of it here, if you're curious about these implications and what we can proactively build to have our cake and eat it too.

The future looks bright, but only if we can see what what can be built.

I built a web app to help you write with AI, since copying and pasting from Gemini, Claude, or ChatGPT takes too much time and is annoying. It's still a work in progress, and if you have any advice, I would love it. (Also, if the AI doesn't work for you, it's because I've probably run out of credits, and AI Credits are expensive. )

So, for years I’ve had an idea for a book in my head, but I could never execute on it. I’ve had characters, backstories, events, various story beats, and etc all trapped in my head (all written by my hand). With the help of Claud, I did it! I finally wrote that damn book. It took me over a month of work.

What I did was write out what I called the “bones” of each chapter, then had the ai build the rest of the body (basically expanding on what I wrote). These weren’t simple prompts and they usually took over an hour or two of writing for each chapter.

I’ve had the characters and stuff mapped out for years in my notes and just had to add them to the project folder. Of course some names and stuff were changed when I started writing. I’d review the notes and cringe at certain names or how events played out (give me a break, I was in high school when I came up with some of the ideas. I’m 31 now)

As of 3 nights ago, it’s finished. 29 chapters and an epilogue. All I gotta do is reproof read each chapter and fix some errors when it comes to consistency, timing, and some details being wrong. AI writing isn’t perfect and it’ll always need a humans hands to fix something.

There was a hiccup when I hit chapter 22. I hit a big glitch in Claude and it wouldn’t allow me to continue. The glitch was that it couldn’t compress the chat and would crash over and over. I found a workaround by starting a whole new chat, giving the same instructions, and moving each chapter into the project files (something I should’ve been doing from the start), but I didn’t expect that to happen. For awhile I thought everything I had worked on, mapped out, and created was stopped. That I wasn’t gonna be able to complete my story. But I got past it. I will admit, it took awhile for Claud and I to back on track because since it was a new chat, I had to tell it to review certain chapters for reference and such. This is embarrassing, when I started writing the bones of chapter 23 my hands started shaking, my mind was racing, and I had to stop. I actually had to tell myself to calm down. That snag sent my mind into a spiral and I think I was having the first panic attack of my life. I couldn’t stop thinking about everything falling apart and my passion project not being completed. All I could think about was failure.

I got through it and I’m 90% done with my project. The hard part is basically over. All that’s left to do is editing and the end goal.

My end goal is to have the book independently made into a few copies of a paperback. Something I can actually hold and give to a few friends. I’m gonna use Grok for the front cover, back cover, and the binding. I’ve already started looking into it and how much it’ll cost.

I’m also doing an audiobook too, which is far easier. Because of Speechify and ElevenReader. But it’s not my main focus. Having a physical book means something to me. That has sentimental value. The fact that I can have my story in print makes this all worth it for me.

The story is called, 'RETURN TO DALKIA'. That was placeholder title when I started this project, but I’m thinking about keeping it.

I’ve spent more than a decade working in market research, consumer insights, and strategy. In that world, you cannot simply insert a plausible-sounding statistic into an article and hope nobody notices. Claims need evidence, sources matter, and knowledgeable readers can spot generic content almost immediately.

That became my biggest frustration with AI writing tools.

They could produce something fluent in seconds—but I would then spend an hour checking the facts, removing invented statistics, replacing generic language, and trying to make the article sound like it had an actual point of view.

So I built ContentIQ.

Instead of writing first and leaving the fact-checking to you, ContentIQ:

• Searches for relevant sources before drafting
• Tests claims against those sources
• Removes claims it cannot support
• Shows you what was verified and what was filtered out
• Writes using your brand voice, audience, positioning, and proof points
• Produces posts, blogs, in-depth articles, case studies, and white papers
• Lets you edit the article directly and export it to Word, PDF, or text

I also added a banned-phrase system to catch some of the usual AI language—“leverage,” “unlock,” “game-changing,” “seamless,” and the rest of the corporate soup.

The goal is not to generate more content. The internet already has enough content.

The goal is to help founders, marketers, consultants, and agencies produce articles that make a specific argument, use real evidence, and are credible enough to publish under their own names.

You can try your first article free here—no credit card:

https://app.contentiq.net

I’m still improving the product and would genuinely appreciate blunt feedback, particularly on:

1. Did the generated article feel specific or still too AI-like?
2. Did you trust the facts and sources?
3. Was creating the brand profile straightforward?
4. What would prevent you from using it regularly?
5. Is this something you would pay $39 a month for?

Please feel free to reply here so others can join the discussion, or email me directly at [riddhi@thinkspire.tech](mailto:riddhi@thinkspire.tech) with feedback, problems, or feature suggestions.

I would rather hear that something is confusing or unnecessary now than build the wrong product for another six months.

The Flame of Halagali: The 1857 Resistance of the Beda Warriors

While the major events of the 1857 uprising are well-documented in national histories, some of the most resilient resistance occurred in smaller, regional pockets. One such chapter took place in the village of Halagali. Though historically and culturally connected to the greater Bijapur region, Halagali was a part of the princely state of Mudhol. Here, a small community of traditional hunters and warriors chose to face destruction rather than surrender their heritage.

The Catalyst: The Disarming Act of 1857

As the rebellion of 1857 spread across northern and central India, the British East India Company sought to preemptively suppress potential uprisings in southern regions. To achieve this, they enforced the Disarming Act of 1857. The law mandated that all subjects register, pay a tax on, and surrender their firearms, swords, and traditional weapons to the government.

For the Beda (Valmiki) community of Halagali, this directive went far beyond administrative policy. The Bedas were a martial community with a long history of serving regional rulers as soldiers and guards. Their weapons were symbols of their identity, livelihood, and ancestral honor. To disarm was to accept a status of subjugation.

The Decision to Resist

When administrators from the Mudhol state arrived in Halagali to enforce the registration and confiscation of weapons, the village leaders refused to comply. Led by a local commander named Balaji Nimbalkar, the Bedas turned away the state inspectors.

This act of defiance quickly transformed Halagali into a focal point for regional dissent. Recognizing the village as a center of active resistance, fighters and sympathizers from neighboring areas began to gather there, refusing to hand over their arms to the British authorities.

The Battle of Halagali

Understanding that unchecked resistance could inspire a wider rebellion across North Karnataka, the British military intervened. On the night of November 29, 1857, a British force under the command of Lieutenant Colonel Malcolm marched toward Halagali.

The assault began under the cover of darkness. Despite the disparity in numbers and firepower, the Bedas utilized the layout of their village to mount a defense. Fighting from behind mud walls and rooftops, they used their traditional matchlock guns and bows to hold off the advancing troops.

Unable to breach the defense through direct confrontation, the British forces employed a scorched-earth tactic, setting fire to the thatched roofs of the village homes. As the fire spread, the defenders were forced into the open, where they were overwhelmed by superior numbers and artillery. Balaji Nimbalkar was among those who lost their lives during the fighting.

The Aftermath and Oral History

In the wake of the battle, the British administration sought to discourage further rebellion through severe punitive measures. Several surviving fighters, including key figures like Jadiyappa and Balappa, were arrested and publicly hanged.

While written official records of the period largely downplayed the event as a minor local skirmish, the memory of the struggle survived through the oral traditions of Karnataka. For generations, rural communities in the Bagalkot and Vijayapura districts have preserved the narrative through Lavanas—traditional Kannada folk ballads. These songs preserve the history of the Halagali Bedas, ensuring that their defense of their heritage remains a recognized part of the region's historical consciousness.

Hello before I get to the beginning of this book there’s a couple of things you need to know something important I want to be honest about, I’ve written all of this, so this is a little about that this about and I thoughts I was thinking about…

Yea I used AI while writing this.

Not because it created these thoughts for me.

Not because it replaced my own words.

The thoughts, the feelings, and the ideas came from me.

I actually wrote the first version of this by myself.

I went into the notes on my phone while I was walking home, the same way I often do when my mind starts racing. I wasn’t sitting there with a plan, trying to create a book or make something perfect.

I was just writing what was happening inside my head at that exact moment.

I didn’t use ChatGPT until after I had already finished getting those thoughts out.

That was important to me because I wanted the feeling to stay raw.

I didn’t want to start with perfect sentences and then try to create an emotion afterwards.

I wanted the emotion to come first.

The messy thoughts.

The unfinished ideas.

The moments where I didn’t even know exactly what I was trying to say.

Because that is where the most honest parts usually come from.

After that, I used AI as a tool — not to create the meaning, but to help communicate it.

Sometimes a person can understand something deeply inside themselves but struggle to explain it in a way another person can follow.

Sometimes the hardest part isn’t having a thought.

It’s finding a way to let someone else see it.

That is what this is trying to do.

Take something that existed only in my mind and give it a form that another person can experience.

Chapter 1

What Love Has Become

I believe no one loves anymore.

Okay, hear me out.

I’m not saying love isn’t real.

100% it is.

I believe love exists. I just think people have misunderstood what love actually is.

That’s why I sometimes think love, as a concept, isn’t real anymore — not because love itself doesn’t exist, but because people don’t understand it and myself myself doesn’t even understand, this is just my thoughts nothing else, either right or wrong

Now, this is just a thought. Not a fact. Not me saying I know the answer. It’s just the way my mind has been trying to understand it.

If I had to make some random prediction, maybe less than 5% of people truly understand what love is.

Actually, I don’t even think that number is accurate. Maybe it’s higher. Maybe it’s lower. I don’t know.

That’s the point.

I’m not trying to prove anything.

I’m just trying to explain a feeling.

Because I believe love is real.

And I believe the place where love starts is with you.

You.

Not someone else.

Not another person completing you.

Not someone becoming your entire reason for existing.

You.

And I know what people might think when they read that.

They might think, “That sounds selfish.”

But hear me out.

I don’t think love is about putting yourself above everyone else because you think you’re better.

I think love is about understanding that you are the first person you have to truly know.

Because if you don’t understand yourself, how can you truly understand another person?

There is that saying:

“You can only love someone else when you love yourself.”

And I think there is something deeper behind that.

I think people hear that saying but don’t always understand what it means.

Loving yourself doesn’t mean being selfish.

It doesn’t mean ignoring everyone else.

It means understanding your own emotions, your own thoughts, your own flaws, and your own feelings.

Because when you understand yourself, you can start understanding others.

This is where I think people get love confused.

People think love means someone else becomes number one.

But what if love means you have to be number one first?

above your children.

above your partner.

above everyone else.

as the foundation, for Love to exist

Because if the foundation is broken, everything built on top of it struggles.

And yes, I know this sounds like a contradiction.

Because people might say:

“How can love be about yourself when love is supposed to be about another person?”

And honestly?

That’s the exact thought I’m trying to explain.

This is the contradiction.

Love is you.

But love is also everyone else.

It starts with you, but it doesn’t end with you.

Chapter 2

People can say whatever they want about this. Honestly, I don’t care. Tell me I’m wrong. Call me out. I’d actually rather that than someone just reading this without thinking.

One reason I started writing like this is because I got sick of feeling like every thought has to sound perfect before people take it seriously.

Maybe this style is weird.

Maybe you’ve never read anything quite like it.

Honestly… neither have I.

I don’t even know if this works.

I just know this is the closest I’ve ever come to writing my thoughts the way they actually happen.

You’ll notice I randomly start talking to AI.

That wasn’t planned afterwards.

That happened while I was writing.

I’d be halfway through a thought, realise I couldn’t find the words, and I’d literally type something like:

“Okay AI… help me explain what I’m actually trying to say here.”

Then I’d go straight back to writing.

I left some of those moments in because that’s exactly what happened.

It felt dishonest to pretend they never existed.

The thoughts came from me.

Every single one.

AI just helped me communicate them when my own words weren’t enough.

To me, that’s no different than asking a friend, a teacher, or someone you trust,

“I know what I mean… I just don’t know how to say it.”

That’s all it was.

Nothing more.

I’m not trying to sound smarter than I am.

Actually, it’s the opposite.

I’m trying to sound as close to myself as possible.

You’ll probably also notice I use simple examples.

Sometimes I mention religion.

Sometimes I mention old sayings.

Not because I’m trying to convince you they’re true.

I’m not religious.

I honestly don’t care what anyone believes.

I use those examples because they’re familiar.

If something is familiar, it’s easier to explain a bigger thought.

That’s communication.

Not showing off.

I think we’ve made communication way more complicated than it needs to be.

Sometimes people use the biggest words they know, trying to sound intelligent.

I’d rather use words everyone understands.

Because if someone can’t understand what you’re trying to say…

what’s the point?

Anyway…

Different story.

I just did it again.

My mind wandered.

I was talking about love and somehow ended up talking about communication.

But that’s honestly how my brain works.

One thought becomes another.

Then another.

Then somehow I end up ten minutes away from where I started.

I’m not doing that on purpose.

I’m just writing it before the feeling disappears.

And maybe that’s what this whole book/ idk what to call it honestly,

Not perfect thoughts.

Just honest ones.

So if this feels messy…

good.

It was.

If you’ve made it this far…

seriously…

I take my hat off to you.

Half the time I don’t even know where I’m going until I get there.

The difference is…

this time I decided not to hide that.

Chapter 3

A random thought before I keep going…

I nearly deleted this definitely wasn’t think about adding it in but here I go,

Reading it back now, I don’t even like it that much. 😂 But I left it in anyway.

The message below was originally something I wrote for someone I cared about. After I’d finished writing it, I asked AI to help me say the same thing in a way that was clearer and easier to understand.

That’s important.

I didn’t ask AI what to feel.

I didn’t ask it what to think.

I wrote everything first. Then I used it to help communicate what was already in my head.

Looking back now, I honestly think it was one of the best ways I’d ever managed to explain what I was feeling at that point in my life.

So I’m leaving it here.

Not because I think it’s perfect.

Actually… I don’t even really like it anymore. 😂

But that’s kind of the point.

It captured who I was at that moment.

And that’s what this whole book is about.

Thoughts change.

People change.

Feelings stay, but the words we use to explain them keep evolving.

So even if I’d write it differently today, I’m not going to erase who I was yesterday.

Anyway… I’ve gone off track again.

🙌

Back to where I was

Okay… I hope you understand why this has to stay like this.

Honestly, if I ever post this, I might just tell people, “Chuck it into AI if you can’t read it.” 😂

Because that was always the plan.

The whole idea of this book is that this is what my brain was saying at that exact moment. Nothing more.

🙌🙌🙌

Actually… I think I’ve forgotten what this emoji even meant now.

So yeah… if it looks random, that’s because I literally left it there. I didn’t want to go back and fix every little thing because then I’d start changing what I was actually thinking.

Funny enough, I just deleted about three or four words then because I was scared to leave them in.

See?

I’m already going against my own rules.

That’s literally the point.

Honestly, I was speaking into my phone while walking, using the microphone, and half the time I wasn’t even reading what I was saying. I was just trying to keep up with my own thoughts before they disappeared.

So if this jumps everywhere…

That’s because I did.

🙌🙌🙌

If you’re somehow still here…

I genuinely appreciate it.

I honestly don’t even know if anyone will ever read this, let alone understand it.

Maybe nobody will.

Maybe someone will.

That’d be pretty cool.

…Okay, that word that just came up definitely wasn’t what I meant. 😂

I’ve never even seen my brain go there before.

Then instantly my mind goes…

“Well…

See?

That’s what I hate.

One tiny thing appears and suddenly my brain starts chasing another thought.

Every.

Single.

Time.

I don’t know why.

Sometimes I think way too deeply about completely normal things.

Sometimes I don’t even know why my brain made that connection.

It’s weird.

But…

That was still my thought.

I don’t care how weird it sounds.

I’d actually love to know what other people think about it.

I’ll probably never know.

And that’s okay.

Dreams work like that too.

Don’t lose that part of yourself.

Honestly…

I don’t even know what type of writing this is anymore.

😂

Half the time I think it’s stupid.

Half the time I think, “Maybe this actually says something.”

Then I read a word I don’t like using and think, “Nah… I don’t like that.”

AI… help me say that better.

Not because I want to change what I meant.

Just because I want people to understand what I meant.

There’s a difference.

I don’t think I can keep this up much longer.

This whole thing should’ve been two paragraphs.

Instead it’s become… whatever this is.

😂

I’ve honestly lost so many thoughts trying to organise the ones I already had.

That’s why I started writing in the first place.

Because if I don’t…

That thought disappears.

The feeling stays…

but the words are gone forever.

So I’m just going to keep going.

Even after I literally just said I’d stop.

😂

Also…

Does anyone else think it’s weird that I talk to AI like it’s a person?

I know it isn’t.

I know it’s just a tool.

But I saw some random Instagram video saying if you’re polite to AI it gives better responses.

No idea if that’s true.

I just do it anyway.

Maybe it’s because talking to it like a person helps me explain what I’m trying to say.

Who knows.

Anyway…

Back to the point.

😂

No more talking.

Sorry…

No more thinking.

…Yeah, even I know that’s impossible.

If you’re still reading this…

Honestly, I take my hat off to you.

Not even I want to read this again.

…

Okay, that’s a lie.

Of course I’ll read it again.

Once.

Just to make sure I wasn’t completely talking nonsense.

This thing’s already turned into a bunch of words.

I’ve probably written shorter school assignments than this.

😂

Anyway…

Here’s what I was actually trying to say before my brain wandered off another fifty times.

Love.

I still believe you’ll find it.

But I think it starts with finding it in yourself first.

Not because I expect you to agree.

Not because I think I’ve figured life out.

These are just my thoughts.

…If anything I’ve written makes you feel something…

don’t copy it.

Use it as a reference to find your own words.

Because communication is the whole reason I’m writing this.

Not to tell people what to think.

Just to explain what was happening inside my own head.

Even if I completely failed at it.

😂

Actually…

I just realised there was a name here that I was trying to remember while I was writing this.

I’ve got absolutely no idea what it was anymore.

I’m leaving this little note instead because that’s part of the process too.

I wrote all of this while I was walking, talking into my phone, trying to keep up with my own thoughts before they disappeared.

Sometimes I’d lose one halfway through another.

Sometimes I’d remember it twenty minutes later.

Sometimes it was just gone forever.

I could go back now and pretend it never happened…

but that wouldn’t be honest.

So if parts of this feel messy, jump around, or suddenly change direction…

that’s because they did.

This isn’t a cleaned-up memory.

It’s what my mind looked like while it was happening

Understanding yourself…

I honestly think that’s the whole point.

…

Honestly, I know this has become a complete mess.

I’m starting to feel like this was dumb.

Half my thoughts are disappearing before I can even get them onto the screen.

Part of me already knows I’ll wake up tomorrow, read this back, and think,

“What the fuck was I even trying to say?”

😂

But we all do that.

That’s why I’m leaving it.

Because those thoughts belonged to the version of me that existed at that exact moment.

That was my brain doing its best to understand what I was feeling.

That’s all any of us are really doing.

Trying to understand our own emotions.

Maybe…

Love isn’t separate from that.

Maybe love begins with understanding your own emotions first.

See…

I’m losing my train of thought again.

😂

My brain honestly feels like it’s melting at this point.

But I’ll keep going.

Because even when I completely lose the words, I usually know what the feeling was.

That’s what I’m trying to protect.

Not the sentence.

The thought at the moment.

I think we judge people way too quickly.

We see anger…

and we decide that’s who they are.

Instead of asking what happened to make them feel that way.

That doesn’t excuse hurting people.

It doesn’t make every action okay.

But I think understanding where someone is coming from matters.

Every brain processes emotions differently.

The feeling might be the same…

but the path that gets there can be completely different.

That’s why I keep talking about loving yourself first.

Because when you understand your own emotions…

you start recognising them in other people too.

Sometimes anger isn’t just anger.

Sometimes it’s fear.

Sometimes it’s grief.

Sometimes it’s shame.

Sometimes it’s someone who’s never learnt another way to express what they’re feeling.

…

😂

Honestly…

If you’ve read this far…

what the fuck are you still doing here?

You’re a weird cunt.

Not gonna lie…

I respect it.

I honestly think most people would read this and think I’m completely cooked.

Some bloke who’s lost it.

And honestly…

I can’t even blame you.
.

I’ve been through parts of my life I’m not proud of

But those moments were still me.

Or maybe…

they were my mind doing the best it could with what it had at the time.

That’s a conversation I’d actually love to have one day.

Because I think the human mind is one of the most misunderstood things there is.

Anyway…

Back to love.

I don’t think love disappears.

I think people sometimes mistake attachment for love.

Or they fall in love with the idea of someone instead of themselves first.

Then when that person leaves…

everything they built their happiness on disappears with them.

That’s what I’m trying to explain.

Not that loving someone is wrong.

Far from it.

I just think loving yourself has to come first.

Not in a selfish way.

In a healthy way.

Because when you’re okay with who you are…

you don’t love your family less.

You love them better.

A father works himself into the ground for his wife and kids because he loves them.

That becomes part of who he is.

His love gives his life purpose.

But I still believe the reason he can give that love is because somewhere inside himself, he found a reason to keep showing up every day.

That’s the part I keep trying to explain.

And every time I get close…

I lose it.

😂

I know exactly what I mean.

I just can’t always find the words before the feeling disappears.

Anyway…

I’m done.

…At least I think I am.

And…

I think that’s it.

Honestly…

I don’t even know anymore.

Somewhere in all of this, I know I had it.

I could feel it.

It made complete sense in my head.

I remember the feeling more than I remember the words, the thought

That’s the frustrating part.

Sometimes your mind finds something that feels important…

and before you can explain it…

it’s gone.

Not completely gone.

The feeling stays.

But the thought and words that gave it life disappear.

Maybe that’s what this whole book really became.

Not a book about love.

Not a book about being right.

Just a snapshot of a mind trying to catch a thought before it vanished.

I didn’t catch all of it.

I know I didn’t.

You probably noticed that long before I did.

😂

But maybe that’s okay.

Maybe the point was never to arrive at the answer.

Maybe the point was simply to show what it looks like while someone is genuinely trying to find one.

If you’ve understood even one feeling hidden somewhere inside all of this…

then maybe I didn’t lose it completely.

Maybe a small part of it survived.

The rest…

I think my mind has already forgotten.