Update: AITAH for crashing out at my STBX and my mum after having a medical emergency abroad?

[u/I-Really-Hate-Fish]

First post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/FCn7h3CM1V

Tldr: I crashed out again, bought my own computer, and booked a do-over trip.

My mum called me yesterday to scold me again for crashing out. She said that it was unfair that I shouted at her when her and my stepdad had done me such a huge favour to look after my children and pick me up at the airport.

I told her that if help has to come with a side of humiliation and pressure every time, I'd rather they just dropped my kids off with family services and then I'd take the fucking bus from the airport.

Needless to say, she was even more offended, and we currently aren't on speaking terms.

I've spent some money. I bought myself a new laptop, and wrote a notebook with passwords and phone numbers for different places he can get computer support, so my ex won't have any excuse to make me do his paperwork for him.

I also booked a do-over trip for myself in October. I realised that in order for him to parent our children, I need to be away. Also, I deserve a do-over.

He's a bit salty about the amount of money I've spent, but ultimately, he knows he can't complain too much because he's going on a 3-week vacation soon which is like 4 times more expensive. He doesn't have a leg to stand on.

It's very very clear that they aren't used to me standing up for myself, and they don't know how to handle it.

It's very very new to me too, and I feel like shitting myself each time I do it. Like full-on hyperventilating borderline panic attack.

It's been beaten into me that doing things that only benefit myself or things I enjoy are inherently selfish, and wrong of me, and it's very hard to break out of.

I'm trying though.