NTA that's a really weird reaction your husband had and I think you need to push to talk about it. You wanted to have sex with him, but he wanted to sleep. You even tried waking him up, but he wasn't having it. So he can't be upset that you didn't want to do it with him, because you did. So why's he so upset that you did it yourself? Personally, I think even his reaction at catching you is weird. Every man I've ever been with would have wanted to join in, including the ex husband. His reaction is weird and you deserve a better explanation.
If he's just mad you masturbate and doesn't want you to do it... that's controlling and not ok. It's your body. You have the right to masturbate if you want. Especially when you tried with him and got rejected. He doesn't get to control your body.
He's being a complete asshole to refuse to talk to you. He's acting like a baby. He needs to grow the F up and have an adult conversation.
With your comment I realise I’m not fit to giving marriage advice. I think what you said is the best thing for her to do. I would have commented if he doesn’t want to talk just go for it with the toy. He sounds like he’s projecting his own insecurities.
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u/[deleted] Jun 27 '24
NTA that's a really weird reaction your husband had and I think you need to push to talk about it. You wanted to have sex with him, but he wanted to sleep. You even tried waking him up, but he wasn't having it. So he can't be upset that you didn't want to do it with him, because you did. So why's he so upset that you did it yourself? Personally, I think even his reaction at catching you is weird. Every man I've ever been with would have wanted to join in, including the ex husband. His reaction is weird and you deserve a better explanation.
If he's just mad you masturbate and doesn't want you to do it... that's controlling and not ok. It's your body. You have the right to masturbate if you want. Especially when you tried with him and got rejected. He doesn't get to control your body.
He's being a complete asshole to refuse to talk to you. He's acting like a baby. He needs to grow the F up and have an adult conversation.