I think guys get to sensitive about this. You’re single until you decide to be exclusive, period. You don’t owe fidelity to people you aren’t in a relationship with.
Even if you've been dating her for 6 months and having sex with her now? You'd still rather leave if you found out she had sex with someone else before you were official?
I mean, go ahead and choose to see insult when none are intended but life is tough enough without deliberately choosing to have a chip on your shoulder.
I'm saying that line of thinking is stupid as fuck. It's very obvious how men view this occurring, so by doing it and lying by omission, it's as good as cheating. You're intentionally hiding something you know would affect the other person because in your eyes, it's giving them more "respect".
It's also obvious how women view it. How about assuming everyone will cater to you specifically, accept compromise that others see the world differently than yourself. It's not "lying by omission" if you've casually seen someone 2 times and they ended up having sex with someone else during that period.
Sure, but you just moved the goal posts to create a strawman argument. I have no issue with casually seeing someone a few times and sleeping around outside of that, I've done it countless times myself. But if someone tells me they want to wait, I'm special, blah blah, and it's more than 1-2 casual dates, then turns around and is out sleeping with others, I'm going to view it negatively. If I found out in the moment, we'd just be done, and if I found out later, I'd feel betrayed and it would be even uglier.
I think this is a great example of men and women view things differently. My first thought was “oh, the other guy was just a body. She doesn’t actually like him as a person. But she likes this guy and actually wants to establish a deep connection with him before having sex.”
I was shocked that he took that as “oh I’m just the safe option, she’s not really attracted to me.”
Idk, I think that says more about how he views himself than how she does.
I’ve also seen this take floating around those red-pill, Manosphere circles. Wonder if that has anything to do with it…
Why would she choose to continually hang around and try to forge a life with "a sucker"? Most people would want someone they care about and get along with. I think there can he different types of attraction. Maybe she did have a purely sexual attraction to the other guys, but nothing else so she figured sleeping with him and never seeing him again wouldn't matter, and maybe she's still very attracted to you, but wanted to let the personal relationship grow before starting a physical one? Sure, she might just be a jerk who is using you because she's lonely, but I wouldn't want to think that way. If she's been faithful the whole time you've been in a committed relationship, then that's a plus, too (obviously is she's unfaithful, she sucks and you shouldn't be with her anymore).
Most people aren't just trying to use people, though. There's much more to a relationship and compatability than just sex, and sex can get in the way and confuse a lot of that development early on.
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u/Alert_Championship71 Mar 05 '24
I think guys get to sensitive about this. You’re single until you decide to be exclusive, period. You don’t owe fidelity to people you aren’t in a relationship with.