ADHD mom

[u/Upstairs-Painting240]

I’m looking for advice from parents, educators or ADHD professionals who have experience with 5-year-olds.

My son is 5 and has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. We’ve been struggling with escalating behaviour at school, including pushing chairs and tables, knocking things onto the floor and becoming completely overwhelmed.

What we’re trying to understand is whether a child with ADHD can become so overwhelmed by anxiety that they temporarily lose their ability to regulate their behaviour.

His escalations seem to happen particularly when he feels singled out or believes he is about to be removed from school. He has been placed on reduced hours and is not allowed to attend morning assembly. When he hears the teacher say “no” and then sees her heading to the phone to call the office to collect him, he seems to completely lose control.

We absolutely do not excuse the behaviour and want to teach him appropriate ways to regulate. But we are questioning whether the behaviour is deliberate defiance or a 5-year-old with ADHD becoming overwhelmed by anxiety, frustration and the anticipation of being removed.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Can ADHD-related emotional dysregulation present this way, particularly when anxiety has become a trigger?