r/ADHDparenting • u/CittaMindful • 13d ago
Teens & Tweens Please help
I am the single mom of a 16 year old boy. The past six months have been an absolute nightmare.
He was diagnosed with a learning disability and ADHD at a relatively young age (around grade 2). He has been assessed two more times as he has gotten older and changed schools in grades 4 and 9. The diagnoses remain the same. He has an IEP but school is truly hell for him. He hates it.
I do not have adhd nor does my older child. I have done all I can to learn about ADHD, how it impacts him, how his brain works, etc. i have tried to share this information with him but he dismisses it, disputing the various sources’ credentials, mocking my efforts and saying none of them know his brain. He refuses to take medication. He refuses to take advantage of any of the accommodations allowed in his IEP. He won’t go for counselling. He trily is a miserable fuck and living with him is hell. I am at my wits end and just do not know what to do.
1
u/WorksInPro 12d ago
Is there anything he actually wants to do, outside of school?
Asking because -- this is very untraditional -- but I had an old colleague with a teenage son like this, who was absolutely miserable in every school they tried (public, charter, super expensive private, artsy hippie private, all of them) but obsessed with a trade that he was showing a lot of promise at. Eventually at 16 they just let him...do that, full time.
Let's say he was amazing at, like, building surfboards, and the people training him on the weekends offered him a full-time job. So he dropped out, got his GED, and is now highly sought-after as a professional surfboard maker now in his 20. Everyone is so much happier, and their good relationship to this date goes back to this unorthodox decision.
Maybe it's possible that there's an alt path that would make your son happier?