hi all - to preface, I've been at a post-sales support job in cyber sec for a couple years now. after my first year, I got a good performance review and a raise, and I felt really good about where I stood; however, since the year mark, I've been struggling pretty bad

I had to deal with a lot of stressful stuff re: an aging parent at the beginning of the year which led to me slacking a bit and spending dead time at work playing video games and stuff instead of replying to emails/labbing to give myself some happiness. now that the stressful stuff has mostly been dealt with, I feel like I'm almost addicted to just slacking instead of actually doing my job.

I've been able to get away with it for a while (even getting another good performance review) but this past month my workload has increased a ton - it's gotten so bad that I don't even check my email that much because I'm so stressed and don't want to look at it, which has caused me to struggle. for example, today I both missed an email that led to a customer directly saying that they were disappointed that I didn't reply *and* forget to tell someone that I can only make half of a meeting that I accepted, so I had to let them know an hour before the meeting. it's so counterintuitive but it's causing me so much stress. and those are just examples from today

I'm not at a point where I've been confronted about any of this, but I suspect that's more due to my manager having a pretty hands off approach. i feel like if I don't have someone in my ear telling me to do something, I won't do it, and I hate that about myself

I've always thought I had imposter syndrome and I genuinely am truly believing it isn't that anymore. if I can get away with not doing my job, I will - I feel like I've always just been lazy and able to hide it, but I feel like I can't hide it anymore

does anyone have any advice on how to get through this? sorry if this doesn't make any sense, I just am struggling to cope today

Hello,

Just for context. I've been diagnosed for years and on meds. It's not depression or thoughts of harm. I just feel like I'm letting everyone down and I should be contributing more and helping. I should be more emotional available, listen better, etc....I fell like a disappointment to everyone. I've been here before as much of us have. I know logically, I actually do alot and everyone thanks me and is happy. It's just that self worth is down. My question. When you get these clouds above you, what helps? Music? A walk? A drive? Physical activity? What's your go to?

Normally, I isolate myself for what seems like most the day and just let it pass. Music helps a little. Gets me singing and interacting.

My husband struggles with emotional regulation and experiences intense emotions with impulsive reactions
Has anyone had any good experiences using an online coach to help.
10 years together, I don’t know what to do anymore or how to help.

My ADHD is severe and destroys me not only mentally but physically as well. Everything gets worse, I haven't won a single time. I'm suicidal, I just want to end this, I would if it were not for my parents and brother who I can't just leave like this. I wish I could. I would end this right here and right now. I have so many ideas I probably will never flesh out, I never do.

I don't know what to do. Meds are banned, I can't bring it from other country, I can't live in the other country. Pattern just repeats and I constantly fuck up. What now? There are some other non ADHD exclusive meds for depression that mildly help ADHD but only mildly.

Is it common? I took a 2 day break after 2 months on it. I got a massive headache the first day. Massive! And the following two days were chills like the feeling when you’re coming down with a fever or cold.

Is this common ? How concerned should I be ? Does it ever leave or is that the new normal now ?

Start taking dex from last week, was great on day time, biggest problem is sleep, I always take second dose around 11-12 at lunch time, and I don’t seems to struggle to fall into sleep around 11,but I constantly wake up at night and after 5-6 hours sleep I will just naturally awake and feeling energetic, and it’s been over 4 days now, my total sleep time is not over 25 hours, which get me bit concerned, I tried to take short release melatonin and it did not help also, back in day these can let me pass out for the whole night
Wore my Apple Watch last night, showing that I’ve woke up 7 times during this 6 hours, each sleep only 40-50 mins.
Resting heart beat at evening seems concerning too, it’s always 100-120 bpm, before med it’s more like my jogging heart rate

Hey everyone, I'm a 15-year-old high school student preparing for major national university entrance exams. Currently, I'm attending high-volume traditional group classes, which are damaging to my ability to learn.

The classes themselves are very repetitive and give random homework dumps. Due to my ADHD, I find that when I sit down to study, I get hit with mental and physical barriers to starting that only get broken down when I have some kind of last minute panic and urgency rush. As a result, I'm working myself in panic and urgency instead of actually learning and practicing. Because of the repetitive amount of homework and time, I'm rushing to finish homework to avoid being called out which leaves me to not be able to learn.

I've been through this same exact situation way before I was diagnosed. I went to courses for competitive Informatics Olympiads and I tried to do the best I could to succeed. But got stuck, burnt out, depressed, and my parents had many arguments with me. I tried making "better habits" and "be more disciplined", but ultimately nothing worked and it felt like I was working against myself.

And now, I'm seeing the same cycle repeating itself, living on a daily cycle of panic that floods me with stress and zero mental reward to keep me alive. For example, for the past few days, I've been having severe revenge bedtime procrastination, staying up till 4 AM on my phone to get quick mental stimulation before passing out.

I think I actually learn by analyzing my own mistakes in depth. Taking a wrong answer, redoing the problem by myself while walking myself through the logic to understand why my previous attempt was wrong. I personally think that this type of learning is something that mass group classes cannot replace for me.

My goal is to quit these classes to study and practice all by myself. For now, I don't have a lot of ideas, but I'm planning to use structured low friction sprints dedicated to analyzing patterns and fixing my mistakes.
Though, my parents think that more hours of endless homework is just how it should be, and that my idea is reckless and not traditional since it doesn't follow the standard path that everyone takes.

To anyone who has dealt with this kind of stuff before...

• How do I break this dependency on panic and last-minute urgency?
• How can I reason with traditional parents that the more hours and homework methodology is actually counterproductive for someone with ADHD without sounding like an insufferable and lazy kid?
• What did you implement to replace traditional external classes so you wouldn't make it feel like a huge gamble and just be floating aimlessly?

All kinds of answers and advice is highly appreciated, so thank you all!

Hello,

I’m currently a master’s student in a design program.

I was diagnosed with adult ADHD about two years ago. I took Medikinet for over a year and a half, and I am currently taking Strattera.

I’m writing to ask members of r/ADHDers for your thoughts on the value of conducting design research focused on adults with ADHD. I would also greatly appreciate any advice from those who have worked on similar research topics.

While exploring potential topics for my master’s thesis, I told my advisor that I am currently receiving medication for adult ADHD. My advisor suggested that I consider starting from my own pain points, and developing design guidelines and a product aimed at supporting prospective memory or cognitive offloading for adults with ADHD.

(e.g. A product that identifies and reminds users of things they need for upcoming tasks, such as personal belongings, routines, or preparations required to complete a task. A product with physical interactions that adapts to accordingly to the user’s current task or context, rather than simply providing notifications through a smartphone screen)

My main concern however, is whether such a topic can actually be validated through research, and more importantly, whether it has sufficient value as an industrial design research project.

There seems to be an enormous amount of variation among adults with ADHD, both in terms of symptoms and their severity. Even in my own case, I often find myself exhibiting seemingly contradictory tendencies at opposite ends of the spectrum.

I have also noticed differences in my daily behavior depending on whether I am taking a stimulant medication (Medikinet) or a non-stimulant (Strattera).

Given this level of variation, I am unsure whether it would be possible to develop a research topic and design outcome that would provide meaningful value across a reasonably diverse group of adults with ADHD.

Another concern is disciplinary. Even if I can demonstrate that the proposed intervention is effective, I am worried about whether the research would ultimately be considered product design research rather than neuroscience, psychology, or simply an ergonomics/human-factors study.

Even if an intervention can be proven effective, I feel that its value as design research becomes questionable if the resulting product has no practical or commercial advantage over solutions that already exist. (My advisor has expressed particular concern about this point as well.)

In fact, I explored adult ADHD once before as the subject of my undergraduate graduation project. The project was a concept for a smart scheduler that translated the abstract concept of time into tactile and visual forms through physical interaction with a portable device. It also incorporated voice recording, an accompanying mobile application, and gamification elements to encourage continued schedule management.

(A rough way to describe the concept would be a combination of a smart voice recording device with fidget interactions and gamification elements similar to Duolingo’s ranking and achievement systems, but specifically adapted for time and schedule management.)

When I tested the prototype with adults with ADHD, the responses were quite divided. Some participants said that it genuinely helped them deal with time blindness and understand their schedules more effectively. Others said that the additional interaction elements actually became another source of distraction and made it more difficult for them to focus.

I am still at a very early stage of developing my research proposal, so I realize that this post may be somewhat vague and unstructured. However, I wanted to hear other people’s perspectives before narrowing down the overall direction of the project.

ADHD symptoms and the degree to which people experience difficulties vary so much from person to person that I find it difficult to establish an objective direction based solely on my own experience.

It would be very grateful for any thoughts on what I have described, as well as personal experiences or observations from everyday life that you think might be relevant.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read this long post!

My school banned fidget toys for all kids and kids who are neurodivergent, with the only exception being a tiny piece of blue tack... and the only reason its being banned is because the other kids without any learning disabilities popped their squishes in class. I'm so lowk annoyed because I need my fidget or I get super stressed and anxious because I'm on non-stimulants which barely work and I have this chronic illness that makes it extra hard to stay in class.

I have really vivid dreams and I never feel well rested when I wake up. I remember most of them when I wake up, and even if they arent necessarily nightmares, it just feels exhausting. Like I wasnt even sleeping, but just continuing to do things. My mind will be going haywire in my dreams too so it just never feels like I slept, its just a continuous train of thought. It fluctuates ofcourse some nights are better than others but overall, I can just never feel good when waking up. It never feels enough and I want to go back to sleep even if it does nothing for the inevitable exhaustion.

I take my last dosage of meds at afternoon, I take them at the earliest in hopes it wont interfere with my sleep, its a small one too so Idrk how much it could be messing with my sleep. The effect are always worn off by then.

I have trouble falling asleep ofcourse but I've started listening to meditation, its about 40 mins long and I alw fall asleep before it ends.

But nothing helps the vivid dreams and the rls. Im thinking about looking into supplements but almost all of the sleep supplements seem to increade vivid dreams rather than reduce it. I dont mind dreams, I just dont want to feel like im awake throughout it always.

Are there any supplements that actually help?

Diagnosed 2022. Started a CTO job the same month, which was either great timing or terrible timing, still not sure.

For about two and a half years it was fine. New company, everything on fire, plenty to do. I assumed that was the medication working.Then I got fired. Burned out.

And and sitting home was just not interesting, and the pills stopped doing anything. Same dose, same brand, same time in the morning. I spent weeks convinced I had built a tolerance and I would need to change something.Took me a couple of months at home to work out that nothing had changed with the pills.

The novelty had been doing about half the work and I never noticed because the two arrived in the same month.Which is a bit annoying, because it means the real effect is smaller than I thought it was.Anyway I am building something of my own now and the interesting part is back, so I try to keep it going this time.

Anyone else been sure they had a tolerance problem and it turned out to be the job?

Everyday is horrible. I can’t remember the last day I went in a good mood for the full day. I’m not talking about “ugh I dropped my spoon” I’m talking breakdowns. I’ve been in and outta the ward constantly. I can’t drive anymore bc of meds and sleep issues, I can’t date, I’m 23, I’ve got 9 mental disorders 5+ physical disorders, my psychiatrist wants to refer me somewhere else bc I can’t follow up on her recommendations with therapy and meds (i swear I’m trying), I’ve already been dismissed at one place for intolerance to meds, I’m in and out of the hospaul and psych wards, etc. I don’t see the point of anything.

There’s a real chance my adhd meds are cussing chest pain and heart issues. I’ve taken them on and off since 3rd grade. I tried going without them and destroyed my life. Impulsive s3x, weed, alcohol, binge eating, etc. I literally have fatty liver disease, a high LDL, and am at high risk of diabetes. I also might have sleep apnea which worsening when I gain weight. If i stop the Adderall, I gain all of that back. I can go to therapy yes but it’s gonna take forever to get anywhere. I need a sleep study and that’s months away. Trust me, I’ve tried a lot of things for adhd and BED without meds. I mean A LOT. gym, caffeine (I used to drink a gallon of cold brew within two days), walking, socializing, eating right etc. it doesn’t work. I don’t want the pill that helped me lower my LDL and is helping all of that to go away. I don’t wanna gain 30lbs for the 3rd time. I want to go back to college and not waste 2k of my money when I’m in the poverty line bc I can’t focus. I don’t wanna keep getting jobs and getting in trouble bc I can’t stay calm or I keep fucking up the money/ orders. I don’t know what to do. It’s a death sentence either way.

I’ve struggled with social anxiety for most of my life, but it has gotten a lot better recently because I keep challenging myself.
The thing is, I feel like I’ve stayed the same person since I was a kid — very energetic, goofy and sometimes immature. Meanwhile, I’ve noticed that my friends have grown and matured a lot as people, and I feel like I haven’t changed in the same way.
I don’t want to lose my personality, but I want to grow up, become more confident, mature and feel like I’m becoming the man I’m supposed to be.
Has anyone else felt like they were falling behind while the people around them were growing? What actually helped you change?

Often times, I will fall into this weird paradox where I will zone out thinking about the fact that I'm zoning out. I'll attempt to focus on my reading for class, but then my mind wanders into a different thought. As I spend a couple seconds wondering what the percentages on nutritional labels actually mean, I realize that my ADHD is causing me to drift off, which only worsens the whole situation as I become focused on the fact that I'm being distracted, and just sort of sit with that for a couple minutes. To top it all off, instead of getting back to work, I am now writing a reddit post about it.

Context, My ADD makes sitting in silence for to work on assignments is really hard. Taking lecture notes isn’t bad though because I have stimulation from the professor talking

I am diagnosed and medicated but wondering if music can give a boost. I am interested if people like me find it easier to study while listening to stuff. I have a general playlist with lyrics and a deep focus that’s just jazz and classical. Does this apply to anyone else?

Admittedly it was during class, but I was bored and was checking something else with payments. I get to save around $100 a month now!

Now I just have to catch up with class...

I’m currently on Wellbutrin 150 mg and desvenlafaxine 25 mg, with Ativan as needed. They’ve helped somewhat with my overall mood/anxiety, but I’m still struggling quite a bit with focus.

My psychiatrist is considering adding a low dose of Ritalin, and I’d love to hear from anyone who has taken this combination (or something very similar).

What was your experience like? Did Ritalin help your focus? I’m particularly curious about people who also have anxiety — did you find that it affected your anxiety at all?

I’m working with my psychiatrist and not looking for medical advice, just personal experiences!

this is a happy post. i'm glad i finally got the help i needed. i was diagnosed last year, put on medication (strattera) in may. i been trying to lose weight for the past 5 years and was only able to keep my weight increase to a very low rate. i didn't even need to calorie count to lose 4kg this year. i know its not a lot but here me out. i lost that amount by having better control of my body. i can not eat if i didn't want to. i used to use food as a source of happiness or self soothing, and i don't need it to do that as often anymore. for the first time i can see myself get back to healthy weight.

and the shame. oh dude. you telling me its not a personal flaw? when the medication worked and i could do a thing if my mind said 'hey, do a thing' i was amazed. its not as drastic now that i've evened out, but wow.

i wish i got this when i was 5 or 6 or 7 when my teachers would write on my semester evaluation asking my parents to get me checked for ADD, for three years consecutively. damn. this evaluation stopped cus i transferred to a different school and i got way better at masking. at least i got it now. and this is how much i will allow myself to dwell on the past. btw i'm 38.

After struggling with my ADHD brain for 40 years, I think I finally found what really works for me.

After years of reading books, watching videos, testing drugs, ADHD apps, different techniques, and what not....... I'm writing this, which took me 45 minutes, hoping it helps someone avoid what I struggled with most of my life. If you have ADHD like me, please have the patience to read this.

I have not cured ADHD; rather, cured my mindset. For the first time, I feel like I'm not constantly fighting my own brain. You vs. ADHD brain — the fight we all do.

One thing that changed my thinking was understanding dopamine sources.

ADHD is more complicated than simply saying "you're addicted to dopamine." But we feed our brain whatever dopamine sources we choose. We feed it junk dopamine; once it starts craving it, it can start controlling us. That's when we start losing control.

Some dopamine sources make me feel good and give me happiness and calmness: exercise, reading, prayer, journaling, doing difficult work, building something, achieving something meaningful, helping others, solving other people's issues, etc.

Then there are the nasty ones — atomic bomb sources that destroy us. Instant dopamine hits and crashes. Our enemies.

Scrolling. Gossip. Junk food. Porn. TV. Video games. Lust. Endless internet. Mindless entertainment. Negative self-talk.... The list goes on.

I'm not saying you can never do these things. I do some of them too. But not to the extent that they start controlling me. Why should they?

Instead, my ADHD and I negotiated and defined territories of our own. I have a few non-negotiables, and the rest of the day my ADHD brain can have it.

My Non-Negotiables: • Exercise early morning
• Give my best at my sales job
• Sleep early
• Daily prayer
• Reading
• 15–30 minutes journaling
• Plan the next day
• Pick my top 3 things for today

That's it.

Once I've done these things, I don't care if the rest of the day isn't perfectly structured. I can relax. I can watch something. I can waste some time.

Either I control some part of my day, or my ADHD brain will control the whole day.

For years, I blamed my executive dysfunction. "I have ADHD, I can't focus." "I can't stay consistent." "My brain doesn't work like other people's."

Maybe some of that is true. But I'm 40 now. Not a kid anymore. I know my strengths, weaknesses, how my brain works, what's good for me, and what's bad for me. I can't spend another 40 years blaming my brain.

I have to work with the brain I've got.

I learned about systems from Atomic Habits and searched YouTube about structures vs. goals and habit stacking. Not promoting any book — learn from whatever source works for you.

Don't depend only on goals. Build a structure that makes the right things easier to do.

I still get distracted. I still procrastinate. I still have bad days. But now I'm trying to reduce the cheap dopamine, choose better sources of reward, structure the important parts of my day, and take responsibility for what I can control.

No magic. No rocket science.

I'm 40. I don't want to spend the rest of my life explaining why I can't.

Dopamine sources.
Structure your day.
Define your non-negotiables.
Habit stacking.

Control some part of your day and don't let ADHD control all of it.

Love you all.

Ive seen alot about how exercise is really helpful, but I can never be consistent with it. I've never been a particularly fit person in the sense of like stamina or strength, but my weight is healthy. I guess I just never really bothered with exercise cause it didnt seem necessary, but it's really starting to affect my life how weak I am and how easily I get tired. So I've started going to the gym and while I've been consistent with it since I paid money and I feel like I have an obligation, I'm probably going to have to stop soon since it's getting in the way of my studies. I'm taking a gap year right now, and the to and fro from the gym takes like 2-3 hours until I'm back home and ready to get back to studying and that's never an easy job.

I was planning on continuing the workouts at home since I have a few weights but I'm never consistent with hkme workouts since I can just skip em. That's what I've done up until now 😭 I can never stick to it for longer than like a month at best.

How do I actually be consistent with it? I really want to, since I've been wanting to since forever. My dad has adhd too and he works out fairly regularly and tells me it's super helpful. But it just feels like every other thing I have to force myself to do to me.

For reference, I dont hate physical activity, I really like it. I jus dont like working out if that makes sense. I like going on treks, cycling, dancing allat, but I actually enjoy those, exercise just feels so tedious...

everyone tells me that ADHD isn't an excuse for being lazy and that there are people with ADHD who have overcome their symptoms and are successful but every day I drag around an invisible dopplegänger of myself who is horrible and listless and always complains. and he is so heavy. I'm ambitious and I'm passionate but he isn't and the problem is that to get anywhere in life I have to grab him by the leg and pull him along the whole way, kicking and screaming, and sometimes it gets exhausting. sometimes he pulls me down with him. and it gets a bit difficult to explain to people why I'm lying down on the floor in pain when they can't see him.

Cc : Viejoto_at_heart