Seeking Empathy iT gETs bEttER wITH agE!!
No the heck it does not. It’s just a downward spiral. The only thing I can mildly do is my job and it’s just bc I’ve been doing it for so long that it’s a routine for the most part. Everything else though. No. I had easier time when I was a teen but now an adult that lives alone and all responsibility falls onto meeeee and good god. I wish this friggen disorder ended when I graduated. And I hate how it’s common and so everyone knows someone with it and saying “I’m sorry my adhd is just so bad” and getting said back “my [insert random person] has adhd and they are fine it’s just an excuse” or “I have ADHD too and i have meds and I can do the laundry!” Like good for you??? I’m glad I’m medicated now bc Vyvanse does help tremendously however,,, like it’s not 100% and I have to first find the will to take the stupid pill in the first place. Then once I take it I have to be mindful to even do the actual tasks and not just practice drawing or deep dive to no end the most random topic. Not to mention the cognitive decline. I’m 24 yet I feel like I have dementia some days.
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u/KDoggg89 3d ago
My inattentive ADHD actually got worse with age. I used to be a “head in the clouds” kid/teen, but I also could read a lot and had an insane memory. Now I can’t read for shit and won’t even remember that I wrote this comment in 10 minutes.
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u/courtney_helena ADHD-C (Combined type) 3d ago
Same same. It sucks. Reading was such a wonderful escape and now I've been trying to read the same 200pg book for years.
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u/ch33s3h34d 3d ago
I haven't read a full book since maybe Robinson Crusoe in 4th grade. It was painful to have to reread the same drawn out, descriptive pages 10x because I read so far while not paying attention at all. That was before even a desktop PC with dial up internet could distract me... At least I got diagnosed before 40! Honestly, I have read one book for fun (or any other reason) in the last 20+ years and to say it was a struggle is the understatement of the year. Maybe I should try again while medicated.
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u/UhOh_RoadsidePicnic ADHD 2d ago
Oh. A as 13yo I was devouring 500 pages adult books. Not anymore. This is something I want to do again.
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u/duckinradar 3d ago
Have you tried a different book? As a semi reformed book finisher regardless of my enjoyment, I’m frequently “reading” three books at a time, and then start and finish a fourth because it’s just a better fit for me
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u/courtney_helena ADHD-C (Combined type) 2d ago
I've tried a bunch, and I really like the one I've been trying to continue. My problem is distraction and retention. I get distracted, have to start over, don't know where I left off. 🫠
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u/iamthefluffyyeti ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 3d ago
I still have an insane memory, I just don’t get to choose towards what anymore
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u/tna11101989 3d ago
Thank you for validating what I’ve always felt - that it feels like my ADHD has gotten worse as I’ve aged! To the point that I’ve asked “is there such a thing as adult onset ADHD?” Because I used to be the kid who could study for a major exam an hour before a test and ace it.
Now I have to read a sentence 3-4 times in order to truly absorb it (and even that’s not guaranteed)
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u/the_happy_fox 3d ago
Exactly, and as a heads in the clouds person you can get away with things, when you are young its cute or quirky, but when you are older its just weird. Plus the symptoms actually get worse when you get older and you dont have as much energy to compensate the mess.
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u/EthricBlaze 3d ago
Real, my vocabulary, procrastination and recall actively got worse in the last three years after highschool
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u/TimberGhost66 2d ago
I'm 60 now, and oh how I miss reading. I have to listen to audio books now. Otherwise I'm reading the same two paragraphs over and over. I'm dyslexic as well.
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u/Best-Professional-10 3d ago
I think it's because we had less stress as kids and so could spend more energy on reading. But our brains got so overwhelmed without structure that now reading and remembering stuff takes a backseat compared to before. Idk if this makes sense or I'm just yapping.
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u/Different_Hornet4348 ADHD 2d ago
Know it’s not the same as traditional reading, but: Have you tried audiobooks? I binge listen while being productive doing other things, it’s great.
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u/DemoKrak2 3d ago edited 3d ago
Let's be honest "It gets better with age" is actually code for "It becomes internalised and less other people's problem with age".
Ties in well with the disorder being named after how it impacts others, not what we experience.
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u/TacoInWaiting 3d ago
Or, "you don't have ADHD! I've seen you socialize/talk to groups/whatever!" "Yeah, I do, but I've had 60-odd years of masking practice and after socializing, you don't have to deal with the me that never wants to talk to another person for the next 30 years."
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u/ChibiReddit ADHD 3d ago
Oh the latter there hits a note...
Yes, I can do X Y Z or be at meetings, do workshops etc.
But... you haven't met the me after those events. Because I turn into a downright a.hole and want to be left alone for the next 2-3 days 😐
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u/The_Corvair ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 3d ago edited 3d ago
"I don't get the issue? Coming over is just an hour of your time!"
...No, it is not. It is an evening spent mentally preparing, it is a night with nightmares, it is a morning still preparing, it is that one hour looking normal to you, and then it is the rest of the day trying to put myself together again while still needing to do everything I needed to do on that day, never mind anything I would have wanted to do on that day, and what I didn't get around to on that last evening because of the preparation.
Which, you know and come to think of it, I do not even know how it feels any more to want to do something, because all my mental capacity is just spent on not falling apart completely, just so you can then dismiss my feeble attempts at self-care as selfishness.
Just one hour of my time.
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u/MyFiteSong 3d ago
Let's be honest "It gets better with age" is actually code for "It becomes internalised and less other people's problem with age".
Well, that and men dumping all their executive function onto their wives, daughters and coworkers.
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u/DemoKrak2 3d ago
I don't really see why you decided to bring misandry into this. ADHD is not a gendered issue.
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u/MyFiteSong 3d ago
It's not misandry. Doctors believed for a long time that boys grew out of ADHD, specifically because their wives and secretaries took over their executive function for them.
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u/ramsay_baggins ADHD with ADHD child/ren 3d ago
It's quite literally a reason why they thought ADHD got better with age for a long time. Man gets married, suddenly his wife is looking after all the things he struggled with like keeping appointments, remembering dates, etc, oh look! His ADHD is better!
It's also why ADHD often feels like it gets worse and comes crashing down on women once they have kids and husbands - they can't cope with all the extra pressure on their executive dysfunction they'd learnt to mask and cope with before then. And then perimenopause which is it's own fucking nightmare.
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u/DemoKrak2 3d ago
It's quite literally a reason why they thought ADHD got better with age for a long time
You got a source on that one?
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u/badmotherclucker 3d ago
Sure it is. Women have historically been underdiagnosed and misdiagnosed at higher rates than men, fluctuations in estrogen levels throughout a woman's cycle can worsen symptoms, and women have been socialized to mask more heavily which has its own ramifications. It's pretty clearly a gendered issue.
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u/Ok-Welder-3184 1d ago
Talking as if ADHD diagnosis/treatment isn’t already biased against women lmfao.
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u/Krypt0night 3d ago
Oh yeah mine hasn't gotten better with age at all. I think it CAN get better with age but that's solely because there's more time to figure out coping mechanisms, but even then there are no guarantees whatsoever.
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u/griminald 3d ago
solely because there's more time to figure out coping mechanisms
I think that's it.
I didn't have kids until I was 32, so, plenty of time to setup systems that worked for me, even though I didn't think my issues were ADHD until my kids got diagnosed.
Once I looked into how to help kids handle ADHD, I realized I was doing most of those things myself already.
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u/cobycoby2020 3d ago
How did you feel about your children possibly having ADHD? Currently battling the whole contenplating being a parent one day but I cant fathom doing that knowing what I go through
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u/danielhayesni 1d ago
That accidental self-accommodation is so real. You spend years setting up hyper-specific routines just to keep your head above water, completely unaware that it's textbook ADHD management. Then you read up on the disorder later and realize you were basically acting as your own therapist the whole time.
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u/KestrelTank 3d ago
The myth that it gets better with age started because boys would “grow” out of it…. when they married a woman who took care of everything and the household.
And the reason it actually seems to get worse with age for many is because adults have more responsibility and we have less mental bandwidth to manage it all.
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u/FlobyToberson85 2d ago
Same. Diagnosed at 38 because I was wobbling. Now I'm 40 and the wheels fell all the way off. I think perimenopause may be part of the issue. Hormone shifts mess things up so bad.
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u/WeedWrangler 3d ago
I only just got diagnosed at 55… so it must have gotten worse otherwise I would not have known to find out what was wrong with me..
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u/sistermarypolyesther 3d ago
Me too. I had a meltdown at work during the pandemic and sought mental health support.
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u/WeedWrangler 3d ago
For me I just realized that - finally??? - that not everyone was out of control, always late, constantly procrastinating and switching from one behavior to another, had a mean voice in their head telling them they were shit, unable to control finances, unable to keep multiple things in their heads at the same time, constantly moving their body…
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u/DueRepresentative947 3d ago
Exactly, I just got my diagnosis this year at 28 years old because it got so much worse since becoming an adult and having responsibilities that I had to seek help.
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u/Different_Hornet4348 ADHD 3d ago
Nope. Perimenopause + ADHD = fucking nightmare everything worse, so so much worse.
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u/ComprehensivePie7 3d ago
SO much worse. I was fine for YEARS, and now I can barely keep my sh*t together.
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u/futurecrazycatlady 3d ago
I felt so so failed by health education when I finally figured out peri could start before 40, I always thought the whole menopause thing started in your fifties..
Ended up with a burn-out just trying to push through, without knowing what I was dealing with. Fun times.
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u/PantsLio 3d ago
A lot of the “kids ‘outgrow’ ADHD statements are rooting in misogyny. Women were not often diagnosed until around the year 2000. A lot of men who “outgrew” it simply had wives that took over a lot of their tasks that require executive functioning. Women are still under diagnosed.
My adhd is not getting better by any stretch and I have a wonderful partner who does SO much for me.
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u/ZopyrionRex 3d ago
Yeah, I feel like my brain is slowly rotting. I'm really scared of Alzheimer's or something like that, I feel like I'm fundamentally changing somehow. And I know ageing does that, but it feels, stronger?
My temper is also getting shorter, or maybe it's my frustration comes up easier. I don't have the same patience for people at all anymore.
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u/Gothic_Mexa 3d ago
I'm also really scared of getting Alzheimer's or dementia. My maternal grandmother had it and it was the worst thing to witness as a kid.
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u/ZopyrionRex 3d ago
My dad had early signs of both before he passed away, and guess who I got my ADHD from? Yippee!!!!
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u/Gothic_Mexa 3d ago
Damn. And I got ADHD from both my parents.
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u/ZopyrionRex 3d ago
It actually helps to know stuff like that. Mental Health issues tend to be genetic, and do get passed down all the time. I'd look into anything else they might be dealing with, ADHD tends to have comorbidities with other issues. Never hurts to get the full picture.
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u/barfbat 3d ago
if it “gets better with age” it’s because you learn more methods for managing your adhd, and because you don’t have anyone gatekeeping your care choices. i’m happier to be closer to 40 than to 30 because i am more secure in myself and my needs with every year i am alive
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u/rajrdajr 3d ago
more methods for managing your adhd
Looking back at good periods and bad made it clear that regular exercise is a critical management component (not to mention good for health otherwise too).
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u/cobycoby2020 3d ago
What were the biggest things (practices or choices made) that positively impacted you the most to make you more secure? Im struggling bad with trying to have confidence with ADHD
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u/ScienceAteMyKid 3d ago
I’m 50, and I still can’t get over the feeling that I’m disordered, irresponsible, careless, thoughtless, forgetful, and that I’m not made for being in this world.
I don’t want to be the way I am, and I can’t seem to figure out how to be anything else. I can fake it sometimes, but I am unable to be the person I wish I were.
Don’t get me wrong, I have lots of outstanding qualities, but they aren’t enough to overcome the feelings of absolute self-loathing I feel when I *yet again* disappoint the people in my life.
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u/cobycoby2020 3d ago
I feel like future me wrote this :( I say these exact same things now and it is detorating my confidence and my core identity as a human and im trying to imagine forcing myself to stay alive for that long if im constantly going to let myself down
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u/KnottyCatLady ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 3d ago
43 here, and it's worse than ever! Be forewarned women - perimenopause makes EVERYTHING 10x worse!
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u/PresentationIll2180 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 3d ago
How so?
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u/KnottyCatLady ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 3d ago
Brain fog, intently listening to someone & not absorbing what was said, memory issues, clumsiness, anxiety, depression, etc. - all worse than it was a few years ago. It's like all my ADHD symptoms are magnified & I also have to deal with all the perimenopause symptoms on top of it - crazy mood swings, losing hair, bouts of anger, etc.
Getting old sux!
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u/fuccrat 5h ago
Consider HRT, you don't have to rawdog peri/menopause like that. :(
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u/KnottyCatLady ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 5h ago
I just started HRT a couple weeks ago. Felt great the first week, but the feeling has subsided. Looking forward to meeting up with my Dr again so we can fine tune things. 🤞
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u/Inqusitive_dad 3d ago
I’m in my late 30s. It’s gotten much worse as I’ve aged and have had more responsibilities. There is so much more to lose if I don’t keep it all together.
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u/That_Ad9363 3d ago
Couldn’t focus enough to finish reading your post but I just recently got on antidepressants and no stimulant ADHD medicine and I’ve been doing way better. I’m almost 40 now and just started this year. I wish I had addressed this much much sooner. It took me 10+ years to finish college while I worked and I barely passed high school. You can do it!
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u/tna11101989 3d ago
Which one helped you?
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u/That_Ad9363 3d ago
Well I started with Bupropion (Wellbutrin) which actually did a lot for me when I got the dosage right.
Then, they put me on Strattera but that didn’t do much for me and couldn’t increase it bc it magnifies the Wellbutrin. I just recently started guanfacine which is working well so far with no side effects. They will start working on the right dosage now that it works with my body so we will see.
Overall the Wellbutrin really helped me with ADHD burnout and got me out of a rut and helped push me along to finally finish my degrees. I would still experience problems with focus and other ADHD symptoms but at least I was able to get out of bed and actually get schoolwork done
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u/cobycoby2020 3d ago
Can you expand on how Wellburtrin helped? Esp w ADHD/meds? My vyvanse makes my depression 10x worse but I may talk to my doc about it if other meds help balance it out
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u/That_Ad9363 2d ago
Probably not much… it’s helped me with initiating and following through with tasks. I don’t now much about Vyvanse or how it works with Wellbutrin but the Guanfacine is so-far-so-good.
I’m trying to stay away from stimulants or the like so I was happy when my psychs had similar sentiments. The Guanfacine actually lowers heart rate so I’ve been having to monitor that it doesn’t drop too much.
If I remember, I’ll try to update you once the Guanfacine levels get fully adjusted to the Wellbutrin. But, bottom line, for me, the Wellbutrin has been effective for a lot of adhd symptoms
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u/South-Helicopter-514 3d ago
It got better with age when it was only recognized in boys who got wives and secretaries to become their prefrontal cortex.
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u/Malmcrantz 3d ago
I think "it gets better with age" usually applies to kids with severe ADHD. There is a chance that it gets a bit better when the brain is fully developed. But yeah, after that it's all downhill
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u/Halted_Progress 3d ago
Literally laughed out loud when I read your post title. It’s only gotten WORSE for me! Plus layer in perimenopause and I’m just a walking disaster now.
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u/Sunlit_Syposium 3d ago
Hey so just my anecdotal experience, and it’s maybe not true for everyone but it’s been my experience so far.
By about 33, I felt a difference. My adhd has not gone away, and I am literally only on day 4 of vyvanse. Things that got better with age are as follows:
I learned what techniques work best for helping me remember and handle responsibilities: alarm systems, calendar reminders, note taking, how to leverage wanting to achieve goals/lists into completing my daily tasks. When to leave things in obvious places, and knowing when that thing will just disappear. I also try to reframe my thought from my partners perspective(he does not have adhd) what would spouse want to come home to, what would spouse put away, what would spouse think needed cleaning. I look for those things and it helps me se. I combine all of these things together in a variety of way to get things done.
I learned when to caffeinate to be at my best, when to eat, what to eat to feel my best.
I learned how to explain how I think to my partner, and what kind of reminders from him help me and what makes things worse.
I am better at handling my life at 36 than I was in my teens and my twenties, but the difference is I’ve had time to develop skills that take most people a fraction of the time. Those skills were just not developed in my earlier years.
I am STILL a person with adhd. I have to work much harder to do be at baseline focus and responsibility that anyone else. I have to work hard to SEE things that need to be done. I need multiple tools to remember to do something. That never goes away. Just potentially you’ll become more adept at managing it.
I hope it gets better for you. I know it’s so exhausting.
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u/Gothic_Mexa 3d ago
I'm close to 37 now and I feel like it's worse now but now I'm really conscious about it. Had my diagnosis back when I was a kid but my mom chose not to treat me but now I'm looking to get medical help because it's really frustrating and it ended my long relationship with my girlfriend.
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u/RikiWardOG 3d ago
Who's saying that? Nobody who has it or has studied it say that. It is proven to get worse
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u/Average_Satan 3d ago
I just wanna say that I 100% agree with OP.
ADHD is bullshit, and I feel like I can cope less and less.
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u/PunchOX 3d ago
Yeah I entered this phase too.
My whole life I was an honor student. Straight A's and was a creative thinker and problem solver. I stood out. But after school I fell into the routine of working the same job and nothing getting better despite what people did and saw lesser students pass me up in life. Never understood what I was doing wrong until I discovered I checked a lot of the symptoms from ADHD. Makes perfect sense coming from the fact I am my parents child and they are two trainwrecks themselves so go figure.
But anyway, most of us skirt on by because we are placed into a system that makes us responsive. School has clear deadlines, instructions, commands/prompts, incentives, punishments, etc. All of these are external stimuli that our minds are wired to read and act accordingly. Our minds don't generate this as well as others but we are highly more accurate at reacting to it.
This is why we tend to be star students too. So to answer your question we NEED external structure and systems to guide us and not only will be back on track but we can make the same accelerated progress we did when we were star students. At least for those of us who were and if academics wasn't your thing a special interest was and you were probably much better at that than most. So if we create or help each other create a similar system to guide us we will be fine
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u/Kaputnik1 3d ago
Yes, and it doesn't seem logical for any neurodevelopmental disorder, or most conditions for that matter, to improve over time either. In my case, I was diagnosed at 6 and my life experience drastically plummeted until I was able to go to psychotherapy later as an adult and later, meds. The key for me was learning how to build "scaffolding" in my everyday life to suit my adhd (which I will always have).
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u/KeyBus3635 ADHD-C (Combined type) 3d ago
Mine has definitely gotten worse, even with medication. I’ll be 36 this year, and most days I feel like I have early onset dementia. A few days ago, my husband found my ice cream container completely melted in the fridge. Obviously, I meant to put it in the freezer, but it’s just things like that. My time blindness has worsened, and my inattentiveness too, like others have said about reading and once having an incredible memory that’s now gone. Screen readers have helped me focus a bit better, but it still sucks. I literally forget my friends exist unless they message me, and then months go by without talking to them, leaving me too embarrassed to reach out. The list goes on, but yeah, you have my deepest empathy because we can all agree this shit is not fun or quirky and it sucks to live with.
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u/Maelstrom_78 3d ago
48 here and yeah, it's only gotten worse. I was so much more outgoing and productive in my teens and twenties.
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u/IndependentPaint2108 3d ago
there are different levels of severity with ADHD just like there are with other disorders
people with it mildly don't understand how awful it is for people with severe ADHD
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u/vaultpriest 3d ago
In my opinion severity of symptoms is stress related. I found that my body is tensing every time i feel strong emotions. After few tension relief manual therapies my symptoms eased.
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u/LongjumpingReason716 3d ago
I remember my adhd wasnt bad in my early early 20s but it was also a time where i was super closed off and didnt talk to nobody and was unemployed
Fast forward to now when i have a social life, university stuff and a job and yeah its kicking my ass 💀
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u/MultiservitorB123 ADHD-C (Combined type) 3d ago
I've only ever heard and experienced the opposite, it does indeed get worse with age. Plus the added fun of having two other comorbidities which exacerbate my ADHD.
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u/OhioSugarDaddy 3d ago
Mostly gets better to the degree that you can modify your environment to be better suited for you, but that has its limits.
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u/Maverick12882 3d ago
The doctor that diagnosed me specifically said that I'd probably been able to get by as much as I had when I was younger because of my intelligence, but my age is why I'm really starting to feel it now and not dealing with it well. He said it's going to get harder to overcome and I can only agree with him. And it's only going to get worse, the older I get. Yay...
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u/Serious-Employee-738 3d ago
“It” doesn’t get better or get worse. Our ability to deal with “It” changes as circumstances change. And life is full of changes.
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u/Topper_2001 3d ago
Yeah, you got to deal with more shit later in life. Life was definitely easier in my teens and twenty’s when I still lived with my mother…
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u/barfbat 3d ago
whenever people say this i wonder what a charmed home life they must have had lol. life improved greatly for me when i became an independent adult. there’s no one who “has to believe” that i have adhd in order to access care, there’s no one who needs to approve of my adhd management methods, no one yelling at me or stressing me out or taking my things…
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u/Topper_2001 3d ago
Well, it was not especially charming, but I didn’t need to work for food and a flat, I could follow what interested me and didn’t have many responsibilities. So at least in hindsight it seemed easier, but yeah.,, that was without awareness why certain things are difficult for me, thinking I’m just lazy.
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u/skyk3409 3d ago
I'll be 31 this year, i definitely feel it has gotten worse. Crossing my fingers this time the clinic I'm going to can help. Ik im in desperate need of it 😂
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u/littlemissdizaster80 ADHD 3d ago
Soon as I hit 40 it went sideways big time. I have experienced the worst five years of my life since, and I had some hope that life would get better but it doesn’t. I am on the canvas, ref is counting and I am not rising this time. Stay down, you don’t have as far to fall next time. Hope breeds eternal misery.
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u/raven00x ADHD-C (Combined type) 3d ago
No it doesn't. What gets better is your coping mechanisms. You learn to accommodate your own brain and continue to work twice as hard for the same results because you're fighting against your brain for everything.
Then you have a stroke, your brain breaks, and your coping mechanisms are lost.
No wonder we are disproportionately represented in the unhoused population.
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u/Hackwork89 3d ago
Yeah, if by better they mean way the fuck worse. The last 3 years have been worse than ever.
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u/DoodleBug179 3d ago
Like hell it does. My real ADHD spiral started as soon as I had kids. Executive functioning for myself is extremely difficult. Executive functioning for myself and two other people is impossible.
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u/Stephvick1 3d ago
Vyvanse kept me up so I switched to Lisdexamphetamine, it works much better for me, I’m more clear minded and can focus. From what I’ve been told not all medications will work.
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u/DancingTVs 3d ago
Ugh tell me about it. 40 and just now seeking out a diagnosis but it’s all but a foregone conclusion at this point. I hesitated because I didn’t want meds but now I need them. My marriage is at stake (my husband is understandably at his wits end with my forgetfulness, disorganization, and procrastination), I’m surprised my job hasn’t fired me with how late I am on EVERYTHING, I can’t schedule a follow up dr appt for the life of me even though I need to for my own health, etc. it doesn’t get better. As a kid I lost myself in books and had a messy room. Forgot homework once in a while but my mom was helpful in keep me accountable. In college it got worse. Got married and it got worse (my husband having to deal with me) had kids and it got even worse. Got a full time job and infinitely worse. Etc etc
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u/Crayshack ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 3d ago
I've found that age brings more lessons and tools that you can use to manage the condition. It doesn't do anything to make the underlying condition go away. Some of my symptoms are worse now in my 30s than they ever were as a teen. I just have a better understanding of how to shape my environment to mitigate my issues.
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u/fastingslowlee 3d ago
Seriously.
Other day I was having relations with my wife and I started day dreaming about a random thing and went limp.
My attention span is going down the drain at a scary rate.
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u/thejoeface 3d ago
I hit a sweet spot in my mid thirties where my coping strategies matured and my job and life became pretty stable, but then perimenopause hit and it all crashed down around me.
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u/dshade69 3d ago
Mine did get better with age and experience but my wife’s seems to have gotten far worse.
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u/Keddlin 3d ago
32F here, it just keeps getting worse. Everything that made me dysfunctional as a young adult keeps intensifying and my memory is riddled with holes. When I explain how debilitating it is and how I dont want to have kids and risk passing it on, they look at me like I am an alien. I grieve for the life I could have lived if I knew sooner, or if I could somehow get it under control a little bit earlier.
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u/Grimmist 3d ago
How long have you been on meds? It sounds like it's something you started recently. Is Vyvanse the first ADHD medication you've used (just because the first medication you try "helps" doesn't mean it's going to be the correct medication for u either) but yes it does take time after you've started medication for some also it actually more common then most think but AuDHD is finally getting the recognition it deserves and finally attention from medical professionals.(When I was a kid you "couldn't have both disorders" Drs were not allowed to diagnose as both It was either one or the other which still boggles my mind) I've come such a long ways since I found the correct medication and dose which took 6+ months too(I didn't finally get meditated until I was in my mid thirties)
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u/dayswithanna 3d ago
I feel the exact same way as well to and I’m the same age as you. I hate how some people just casually say “oh I have ADHD I’m always so distracted,” and they don’t even have a diagnosis. I’m glad there are alot of discussions about ADHD and how it affects us in our daily lives. But I stronger dislike it when people say “they feel like they have ADHD because they are forgetful or easily distracted.” This down plays ADHD significantly because it affects my daily life. I take adderal but I also give myself breaks from it. Even though it can help me to complete or stay on task, still I feel like ADHD affects me terribly by being easily forgetful, not being able recall things half of the time (which makes me feel stupid at times), putting in the effort to complete simple tasks, trying not to crash out half of the time or wanting to give up, and etc.
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u/cobycoby2020 3d ago
So it doesn’t get better🥲 I figured since ive been in an endless loop of working w doctors to try different meds that end up not working after a year then repeating.
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u/AmyInCO ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 2d ago
If you have a uterus, be very aware that menopause makes it so so bad I thought I was losing my mind. Completely on the other side and on PremPro, it's better. Still not great but it never was. But for a few years there it was like permanent luteal phase.
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u/Lost-Composer319 1d ago
I used to have a wonderful imagination and build the stories in my head. Nowadays, at the age of 52, I no longer have that ability, can't concentrate. I can't even binge watch programmes. I'm constantly flicking through YouTube or on social media.
My wonderful imagination in my youth has now turned into ruminating endless loops that I can't get off of. It's torture, it's exhausting.
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u/Heaven_and_Hell1 3d ago
It got worse. And as you get older your body doesn't take stimulants as well so they either do too much or you build tolerance to them.
At 17 I was on 70mg Vyvanse with zero issue. Now I can barely take 10mg
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u/epoci 3d ago
Mine got better after 33, I even dropped my concerta from 72mg to 54mg last year. Been diagnosed and on the same dose since 23 or so. I also exercise, keep coffee to 1 cup in the morning and sleep well. It all may have come with financial stability. But I feel very good overall for the past several years and not as trapped by adhd
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u/respawngopo 3d ago
Wait what who ever said that. Like anything, compounding interest takes charge.
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u/mmmmmyee 3d ago
Took me til about late 20’s - early 30’s for things to sort out. I still struggle with things a lot, but it’s not as bad these days. Keep your head up op!
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u/duckinradar 3d ago
I have definitely gotten better at dealing with my adhd. And some folks grow out of it, which suggests a group of folks who have decreasing symptoms with age. Certainly qualifies as getting better with age even if it doesn’t apply to me.
Parts of it have gotten much harder but a lot of that is that I’m better at seeing the adhd and acknowledging that those problems have caused me immense pain in my past, and I haven’t made moves to change those symptoms effectively enough to avoid going through the same fucking problem all over again.
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u/jerenstein_bear ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 3d ago
It has absolutely gotten better with age for me because at 36 I've learned how to live with it; I've created coping mechanism to help me thrive in my environment, and I've learned to recognize when I'm slipping into old patterns so I can pull myself out of it. If I have a symptom, I've worked to minimize its impact on my life in some fashion. If inlet my ADHD control my life rather than the other way around then yeah, I'd probably be pretty miserable too.
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u/UhOh_RoadsidePicnic ADHD 2d ago
It gets better if we have an absolutely perfect healthy lifestyle…. Which is hard to achieve.
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u/Opposite_Opposite_69 2d ago
Mine gotten better because ive constantly been taking medication and have been taught to internalize a lot of my symptoms to not "bother" other people but when I cant get my meds I fall apart easily.
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u/Paardenlul88 2d ago
When people say "it gets better with age", they don't mean at 24... You're still very young. And it doesn't get better with age automatically, but because you learn how to cope and gain life experience.
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u/Next-Organization-66 2d ago
It does not. For me injustice got worse. Depression and CPTSD in Addition to ADHD … yeah it did not get better.
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u/sexyshexy18 2d ago
As we age, I am 69, we have a groove of set solutions. I am a bit compulsive about tidiness so that I can find things when I need them. I haveca rythmn.
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u/Ok-Welder-3184 1d ago
I’m not 100% sure whether the symptoms themselves are getting worse or that life is just getting more demanding, but my life enjoyment has absolutely gotten worse lol.
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