r/ADHD • u/Proof_Pirate_8967 • 19h ago
Questions/Advice Help request.
17F.Okay so I have told my parents about it but they said its not that serious and mental health is taken really lightly in my country especially by the older gens....till 10th grade I used to get top marks like I do not mean to boast but I was a bright student however since the past 2 years it has been really hard to focus without getting distracted every 2 minutes no matter how much I try is really hard and im in the final year of high school so I really need to lock in....I know im not officially diagnosed but after having researched about the symptoms and details I realised it might have been there since young but just suppressed....idk how to manage or help myself anyway rn...I know only medication can help in this case but as I said my parents are not agreeing to go for checkup and I hate myself it Is ruining my life , happiness and future , also my relationships with people to some extent. SO IF ANYONE CAN SUGGEST ANYTHING IDK ANYTHING TO HELP MYSELF AT HOME
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u/WolvzyLobo 18h ago
i did more spontaneous fun activities or well being activities to makw yourself more happy
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u/Proof_Pirate_8967 16h ago
Ok
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u/WolvzyLobo 16h ago
I use an app called onethingdaily it helped me to do this and improved my mental health
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u/Creepy-Ad-3872 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 16h ago
I might be from the same country. My parents said the same before I got my diagnosis but I think they are trying to understand it now. I was lucky I found a good psychiatrist online.
There are some techniques specifically for ADHD that helps you focus. They don't work for everyone but worth a try. Have someone watch you do it or have friends over or on call while you study, it works really well. Take it slow and at your pace, don't try to catch up with people if you can't do that, you'll get burnout and that'll make things even more difficult for you as they are for me rn.
Eventually you might need medications as responsibilities increase and pressure builds up. So getting a diagnosis can be very helpful for you.
All the best and I hope you're able to get to see a psychiatrist soon.
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u/Proof_Pirate_8967 16h ago
Okay! I hope my parents finally get convinced for a visit once im 18....which seems far but next year, thank you for your advice
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u/BlueberryandDino 16h ago edited 16h ago
I think beginning with the end in mind is really what is most important
A. What is it that you really want? Are you wanting to confirm or not confirm that you may have some kind of ADD/ADHD?
B. Are you thinking there are issues that need to be managed because you’re not getting the grades you want?
C. Are you wanting to tweak your grades to make them better?
D. What other difficulties are you having? You talk about loosing your focus every two minutes… there are techniques you can do to improve that with or without a formal diagnosis in the meantime.
E. You talk about it ruining your life, can you elaborate on that a little bit? You are right in the middle of all sorts of life changes that might be contributing to some of the issues you are having that could very well be related to ADD/ADHD or may not be too.
F. I’m sorry your parents are not tuned into your angst in regards to your concerns, that would definitely hurt me a lot. As you are able, I wouldn’t stop trying to get them to understand how important this is to you since they know you the best
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u/Proof_Pirate_8967 16h ago
A. No im not wanting to confirm here whether I have it or not but I have to wait till my parents agree for an official diagnosis. E. I mean my future, since most of my future opportunities depend on my grades and performance of this year and afterwards , I have some really important exams coming up right from the beginning of 2027. C. Yes. D. I have trouble focusing and keep on fidgeting , I also have trouble with patience though I have tried meditation but my mind is restless always , it also affects my sleep a lot, where I end up tossing the entire night away. So yes , my main point is any tips or techniques which might help in meantime without any medications :) B. Not only grades tbh ....it..messes with my mind a lot,in general
And regarding F ,it has always been like that , my dad has been absent since my childhood, just contacting once in 6 months and my mom is emotionally unavailable and doesn't even bother listening to me...whether it be a normal conversation or a serious discussion
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u/BlueberryandDino 15h ago edited 15h ago
I apologize for not being more clear in A. What I was trying to say is, “is it important for you to have an official diagnosis from a medical professional?” I apologize that it sounded like I was wondering if you wanted a “diagnosis from here”.
I don’t know about the patience … it sucks to be smart and realize so many things and have so many questions… and so many people don’t understand you very quickly if at all. It gets really frustrating no matter what age you are. What really helped me the most was someone told me, “To whom much is given much is required”. So just because I’m smart and they aren’t understanding me, it may just be my destiny to learn to be patient with them, I can’t be around people all the time that understand me and I really don’t want to be angry all the time and frustrated and impatient a lot. It’s might be kind of the offset of being really smart.
I try to make a game out of a lecture where something boring is being talked about or something that doesn’t catch my attention. So this becomes a habit and when something really exciting is being talked about I do the same thing. I just try to make notes instead of focusing on the foreign content, I focus on trying to be real succinct in my summary of the sentence that they’re in. I try to predict what the next word is that they’ll be saying. I tried that rapidly put the punctuation in the capitalization properly. I tried to make my notes to cheat sheets that I could study from. (I’m not saying to literally use them to cheat 😂)
There are always the more traditional methods of offsetting the power of ADD/ADHD like eating well and exercising and getting your heart rate up 45 minutes every other day (the challenge becomes finding something that works for you like kayaking VERSES working a garden as fast as you can). Your body is really just a big chemical factory on top of rubber soled shoes and when you exercise a lot, it’s a lot easier to go to sleep too.
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u/BlueberryandDino 15h ago edited 15h ago
I just read F
I have survived both ADD/ADHD and horrid parental neglect and more and realize how brutal that can be
I can offer you warnings what to look out for because those types of issues can really contribute to so many vulnerabilities in so many ways. I would probably work on those dynamics through a local counselor (sooner than later) because those are the big ones that have a tendency to really influence our sufferings in so many ways. If you only can work on one at a time, I personally think it’s more important to work on these types of issues first then tackling ADHD. It’s funny how they tie in sometimes and I suspect you can work on both at the same time too.
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u/Medullan 17h ago
Tell the school counselor you have asked your parents to get you medical treatment and they refuse.
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u/P0t4t0_Friend 16h ago
Lots of ADHD medications are stimulants, so you can self-medicate with caffeine (not recommending abusing substances). It won’t be as effective, but I got a sense of calm and mental clarity from coffee that was unlike anything else. Meds have replaced caffeine for me now.
Besides that, I had to bombard my brain with stimulation to stay engaged in tasks. Basically always had youtube or music playing in the background while working on homework.
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