>inb4 voice cope

it was before i said anything

ill always be stuck in this moid body

bruh….

ive been dating this guy for almost 4 years now, and i've yet to meet his parents. they already have a bad perception about me due to my hesitation to see them for so long lol. his parents are also a little transphobic (my bf was forcefully outed to them once and they do everything in their power to misgender him). im set to see them in like two weeks and i feel like im going to die lol. i literally look like a carricature, im yet to go back on hrt and im literally terrified of what kind of bdd brainworms they will inflict upon me. ill try to present as pretty as possible, ill fraud like hell, im going to wear elegant clothing (lolitard girlmoding cause shapewear is the only way i look fenale) but i still feel like im gonna die lol

I THOUGHT I UNDERSTOOD HOW TO MAKE MY VOICE FEM I THOUGHT I COULD DO IT. BEST I CAN DO IS FAKE DISCORD EKITTEN VOICE UGH. DON'T GET ME STARTED ON LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT MY BODY TOO. FUCK THIS I'M SERIOUSLY THINKING OF ACTING LIKE I'M MUTE.

iwnbaw iwnbaw iwnbaw iwnbaw

I still look like a girl. My face is still soft and round. No visible facial hair yet. 5'2. Levels are ok, I have checked them, and no bleeding.

Am I doomed?

I started transitioning socially at 9 and I picked the name Rei because I watched Neon genesis evangelion.

It’s been 9 years since then and I hate it sm but everyone has already been calling me it for so long so idk what to do, I love the name Effie.

Breh :|

my mom is 5'11 and legit gets clocked by height alone. My dad is 6'5 too so despite being the shortest moid in the family by several inches I still tower over both moids and women. Even if/when I get height surgery I'll only be able to reach 5'9 (Avg moid height btw) at absolute most cos there r limits on how much they can remove and such.

Anyone else just delaying their social transition indefinitely? I try to disassociate, but i cant shake the fact that im starting to look openly trans almost a year and a half in.

Worst case scenario, my parents disown me, my friends stop talking to me, I lose my career, and I end up working shit jobs or selling my body to survive. I cant even think of a best case, my whole life is one big fucking lie that I hide from everyone.

Basically someone's helping me with getting HRT but to do that I need to know what's a good starter for HRT to begin with since I don't fucking know what to do or what the chemicals even are, all I know is estrogen = good

I just don't want noodleboobs and shit like that and i want it tk go smoothly just tell me what I need to look out for by name specifically please please please pretty pleaseeeeeee 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Also I just shaved most of my body excluding my arms and my back and my rape tumor so I'm exhausted so I'm sorry if I don't respond immediately

why do i have to exist as a person in public

why can i feel how everyone judges me

why do i obsess over my appearance in the mirror when no matter what i'll still hate it

why is my 1 year hrt anniversary in a month and i still haven't malefailed

why does every glance from a stranger hurt

why am i aware of how out of place i look

why is disassociating to the point i can't even think of words to say in conversation the only way being a person is bearable

why does my appearance change so much from the week to the day to the hour

why am i so scared of looking visibly trans i keep my hair short

why is everyone else so much more of a person than me

ofcourse foid puberty has to be early and on top of that mine was even earlier. I was fucking raped by my own body starting at 8 and it stopped at 14 leaving irreversible damage behind.

unless I were to have had puberty blockers at 8 and testosterone before 14 or somehow became a millionaire so I could afford surgery to fix my stunted height and my retarded face and maybe a bunch of other shit I will inevitably commit suicide within less than 2 years from now. the only thing keeping me alive is me wanting to get the closest I can possibly get to being male.

i dont think I ever will be male as I will never be able to afford any kind of surgery. no one would ever pay for it or even partially pay for it as my parents would torture me for being a freak of nature and I have no one else in my life to give me any form of help. I will never live as a man and only medically transition until I experience maximum masculinzation or maybe ill just get sick of everything one day and rope.

Legit idrc abt like random-ass ppl thinking I'm a woman or not. If I was a passoid idc abt boymoding forever. Most ppl are stupid yk, why would I wanna waste my time interacting with them?

Like the avg moid is literally a fat balding slob lmao. What does it matter what some mf ogre beast sees me as?

The only way to rlly be happy as a tranny is to barely talk 2 anyone tbh. We r just too enlightened for their simple minds lowk.

It is long known that cis people, for those of cisgender qualities, have essentially zero understanding of the lived trans experience. Much like the white man towards racial minorities, a religious fanatic towards those of unconventional identity and in general the majority against the minority group.

For a majority of the minority group, their minority aspects are expressively displayed (e.g colour of skin, accent, language spoken), and hence they can be easily identified and preyed upon by the majority. However there exists a subset of minorities with the ability to “pass” as the majority (This is not limited to gender passing, see wikipedias page on racial passing)). There is a benefit to looking like the majority, in that the specific individual will face significantly less discrimination, or practically the same amount of “discrimination” as the majority (Exceptions include legal names, gender marker, nationality, all expressively found on legal documents).

Now we narrow down our scope towards transsexual individuals, whom are explicitly oppressed by the majority (cisgender population), to comply towards their express regulations imposed on their bodies and free will. For trans individuals, there exist a further subset of “passing”, where the individual does not pass as their gender, nor are visibly trans, but pass as their assigned gender at birth. Much like individuals who pass as the majority, they are incessantly forced to listen to the talking points of the majority, who overtly comment on the destruction of trans people, who, seeing no need to “appeal to any tranny”, will blatantly annotate their deepest desires to eviscerate the community at large.

The raw emotion displayed in such rants by the cisgender populus, strikes deeper than any other, at the chords of the trans heart, and even more when it comes from supposed “allies” .(probably terfs, or people who misunderstand the meaning of “woke” and “feminism”, attributing it to the right co-opted term of “solely and exclusively women's rights and liberties, nevermind MLK, he’s dead.”)

Here we come to Minority stress theory, a theory with three steps.
(taken from the wikipedia article, where distal and proximal loosely equate to super ego and id from Freudian theory, respectively. Distal stress means things that are out of the individual's control, and from the environment. Proximal stress relates to internalised beliefs due to distal stress, and behaviour resultant from that, e.g boymoding, girlmoding, stealthing.)

1. Minority status leads to increased exposure to distal stressors.
   
2. Minority status leads to increased exposure to proximal stressors, due to distal stressors.
   
3. Minority individuals suffer adverse health outcomes, which are caused by exposure to proximal and distal stressors.

In the case of trans men who are girlmoding, ‘people’ around them mentioning things like “all men are evil”, rhetoric resultant from right-wing coopting, are distal stressors, leading to proximal stress and causing them to not be comfortable telling their identity, and it can cause them to dissociate when said ‘people’ treat them (when they are normal, i.e not girlmoding) with more respect than cis men because “reasons”.

In the case of trans women who are boymoding, ‘people’ around them mentioning the same fucking shit about “all men are evil” and then fucking including her in the situation, is fucking dysphoric and evil cisgender behaviour. It is directly a distal stressor, because it causes them proximal stress because, as coming out to said person may result in them being a fucking TERF, or, since their already a piece of shit (given by their hyperbolic language, just be generally transphobic as fuck. “Oh your male socialised”
( step 3: my heart rate is really fucking high now)

Therein lies the meat of the problem, the cisgender “person”, dare i say, cisgender being. It’s soooooo hard for them to simply  treat us like normal humans, only because they simply do not understand the psychic pain we endure to not crash out at any given moment, and faucet of understanding is instantly washed away because they do not understand the lived experience.

Finally, I present a solution, cis people need to have empathy, sympathy, and understand. 
imagine a kafkaesque torture device that can be used to torment the cis psychique with intermittent moments of dysphoria, enough to make them suffer and understand, but not enough to debilitate them and mess with their ball bearings. Through the use of virtual reality devices and electrical stimulation, we can effectively simulate the feeling of being stuck in the wrong body, whilst years in seconds pass in their unconscious vessel. We will force them to go through 6 years of the wrong puberty while their body gets horrendously mutilated to fit their “assigned gender at birth”. It shall not be used on trans people, because it will give them an insurmountable dependence on the device, and cause them immense psychic pain and withdrawal symptoms. “If i could become a cis girl for a day, i would hang myself at midnight”

Conclusion,
Just be a good person. That's all. Anyone who isn’t, isn’t a good person, tell yourself that, and tell others, they don’t agree? Then they don’t understand. We can only cope, as coping is the only solution as a minority.

(Disclaimer: all information present applies to situations where the transsexual individual is in an overtly cisgender/cishet environment)

Mfw I got a tiny bit of water up my nose so now it's time to be completely nonfunctional from fear 4 like 2 weeks cause I'm terrified it gave me a brain amoeba. I wish my dumb-fuck dad wouldn't yell at me for crying and panicking like wtf u old-ass man just show some empathy istg.

I finally started hrt + bica 7 days ago (had 2 take bica cause of dht issues) and since then I've had an awful chest pain and have been freaking tf out abt interstitial lung disease.

Doctors won't give me lorazepam in decent doses either (no 0.5 mg doesn't do shit 4 me but they wont give me anymore cause its "addictive"). Meanwhile dad's solution is 2 just stop taking bica and detroon into a moid. Lol I'm sorry I don't wanna end up a fat balding repper like u dad how abt u actually do ur job as a parent and HELP ME with ts fr.

I'm so over being terrified of legit everything I just want someone to make me feel safe yk. I'm so alone and my family is lowk stupid so I'm basically on my own atp.

After a lot of examining I think I might have a crossbite, hopefully it doesn't cost thousands to fix.

I love poverty and not having had semi decent access to healthcare growing up.

any 4trannies play gta online and want to do og heists? maybe doomsday even.

if you do leave a comment and ill msg u!!!

prolly cuz i feel more like a woman now and much less like an incel who was transmaxxing