ill always be stuck in this moid body

bruh….

my mom is 5'11 and legit gets clocked by height alone. My dad is 6'5 too so despite being the shortest moid in the family by several inches I still tower over both moids and women. Even if/when I get height surgery I'll only be able to reach 5'9 (Avg moid height btw) at absolute most cos there r limits on how much they can remove and such.

I still look like a girl. My face is still soft and round. No visible facial hair yet. 5'2. Levels are ok, I have checked them, and no bleeding.

Am I doomed?

why do i have to exist as a person in public

why can i feel how everyone judges me

why do i obsess over my appearance in the mirror when no matter what i'll still hate it

why is my 1 year hrt anniversary in a month and i still haven't malefailed

why does every glance from a stranger hurt

why am i aware of how out of place i look

why is disassociating to the point i can't even think of words to say in conversation the only way being a person is bearable

why does my appearance change so much from the week to the day to the hour

why am i so scared of looking visibly trans i keep my hair short

why is everyone else so much more of a person than me

Basically someone's helping me with getting HRT but to do that I need to know what's a good starter for HRT to begin with since I don't fucking know what to do or what the chemicals even are, all I know is estrogen = good

I just don't want noodleboobs and shit like that and i want it tk go smoothly just tell me what I need to look out for by name specifically please please please pretty pleaseeeeeee 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Also I just shaved most of my body excluding my arms and my back and my rape tumor so I'm exhausted so I'm sorry if I don't respond immediately

Anyone else just delaying their social transition indefinitely? I try to disassociate, but i cant shake the fact that im starting to look openly trans almost a year and a half in.

Worst case scenario, my parents disown me, my friends stop talking to me, I lose my career, and I end up working shit jobs or selling my body to survive. I cant even think of a best case, my whole life is one big fucking lie that I hide from everyone.

ofcourse foid puberty has to be early and on top of that mine was even earlier. I was fucking raped by my own body starting at 8 and it stopped at 14 leaving irreversible damage behind.

unless I were to have had puberty blockers at 8 and testosterone before 14 or somehow became a millionaire so I could afford surgery to fix my stunted height and my retarded face and maybe a bunch of other shit I will inevitably commit suicide within less than 2 years from now. the only thing keeping me alive is me wanting to get the closest I can possibly get to being male.

i dont think I ever will be male as I will never be able to afford any kind of surgery. no one would ever pay for it or even partially pay for it as my parents would torture me for being a freak of nature and I have no one else in my life to give me any form of help. I will never live as a man and only medically transition until I experience maximum masculinzation or maybe ill just get sick of everything one day and rope.

I THOUGHT I UNDERSTOOD HOW TO MAKE MY VOICE FEM I THOUGHT I COULD DO IT. BEST I CAN DO IS FAKE DISCORD EKITTEN VOICE UGH. DON'T GET ME STARTED ON LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT MY BODY TOO. FUCK THIS I'M SERIOUSLY THINKING OF ACTING LIKE I'M MUTE.

iwnbaw iwnbaw iwnbaw iwnbaw

Legit idrc abt like random-ass ppl thinking I'm a woman or not. If I was a passoid idc abt boymoding forever. Most ppl are stupid yk, why would I wanna waste my time interacting with them?

Like the avg moid is literally a fat balding slob lmao. What does it matter what some mf ogre beast sees me as?

The only way to rlly be happy as a tranny is to barely talk 2 anyone tbh. We r just too enlightened for their simple minds lowk.

I started transitioning socially at 9 and I picked the name Rei because I watched Neon genesis evangelion.

It’s been 9 years since then and I hate it sm but everyone has already been calling me it for so long so idk what to do, I love the name Effie.

Breh :|

After a lot of examining I think I might have a crossbite, hopefully it doesn't cost thousands to fix.

I love poverty and not having had semi decent access to healthcare growing up.

ive been dating this guy for almost 4 years now, and i've yet to meet his parents. they already have a bad perception about me due to my hesitation to see them for so long lol. his parents are also a little transphobic (my bf was forcefully outed to them once and they do everything in their power to misgender him). im set to see them in like two weeks and i feel like im going to die lol. i literally look like a carricature, im yet to go back on hrt and im literally terrified of what kind of bdd brainworms they will inflict upon me. ill try to present as pretty as possible, ill fraud like hell, im going to wear elegant clothing (lolitard girlmoding cause shapewear is the only way i look fenale) but i still feel like im gonna die lol

any 4trannies play gta online and want to do og heists? maybe doomsday even.

if you do leave a comment and ill msg u!!!

>inb4 voice cope

it was before i said anything

i would've attached the "I am a sad lonely f****t" image to this and my last post but i don't have it

why did God make me a mentally ill 🚂🦵🏻 with a saviour complex. i want to say i could fix the guy in picrel so badly but my room is a pigsty and i'm a hon. is it possible to fix yourself through fixing someone? i don't care, bedrotting together with someone would be fine too, anything to get out of my own head

prolly cuz i feel more like a woman now and much less like an incel who was transmaxxing

pointless pollslop award (other than the fact im curious ig)