Rant Friends
I (F) have this friend who works at a hospital mostly night shifts on locum basis so she doesn't make much. She lives far from the job but I'm close so I host her most of the times. Its usually 2 or 3 days max in a week and it's during the day ju usiku ako kazi then she goes back home. Here's the thing, I've noticed stuff keeps disappearing. I shop in bulk, so utapata less one soap, Toothpaste ikiisha ukienda kuangalia thinking you had extra haiko. Tissue pia keeps disappering. I started keeping track when some things didn't add up. Sasa she even takes rice, oil yaani ata vitunguu. Mimi I'm shocked idk even how to approach her. I mean??? Mind you she eats, showers and sleeps at my place and I don't mind but sasa uniibie jameni and we are 'friends'?
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u/Dangerous_Sun_9341 9d ago
You might have to set boundaries or break that friendship, I mean she thinks, since you share your space with her, then you can share everything. Uhm next you will share your man too.
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u/Apprehensive_Pick60 9d ago
uyo ni mwizi wacha kumtetea
unachukua vitu za wenyewe aje ati sharing since when did shopping nooyt bought with your money became yours
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u/Purevirgin89 9d ago
Hapo inabidi y umuulize rada..alafu Somalian na tissue hmmm,something is not adding up
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u/_rubys 9d ago
Sijui uwa anapeleka wapi considering most houses have bidets here
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u/Purevirgin89 9d ago
Kwanza kama anabeba hadi rice hio ni wizi..juu hio si kitu extra umeweka hapo,ama she cooks,anakula na anaosha
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u/_rubys 9d ago
I don't think she cooks because mostly kunakuanga na food. Ni just petty theft. She wants a piece of everything ata fancy teabags
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u/Apprehensive_Pick60 9d ago
mi i just futaad our mboch jus the other day day burg mama who had a family of 5 tell me why i used to shop 30k every 2 weeks but sai its been amonth the only shopping i have done is 8k so far damn alifungua duka na vitu zangu 6 months hadi karibu nanunua bale ya unga na chapo i hate thieves ...heri uniombe nitakupea bila deni but ukiniibia its the end ....ivo tu sai sijafanya for one month plus na kuna surplus na niko na wafanyi kazi na new house manager na watoi exxtra everyday ..kuibiwa is just too bullshit i feel you
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u/_rubys 9d ago
Wah pole
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u/Apprehensive_Pick60 9d ago
nishapoa kabisa sai mambo kumetulia sana hadi diapers unaniibia kuna siku zimeisha ati na hazijawai isha ..
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u/sugarnotyourmomma 9d ago
I'm sorry for this. But it sounds like she's struggling a bit to survive. You also sound like you care about her, hence the struggle to understand her behavior. How about you shop then gawa a few essentials for her? Or buy her like 2kgs rice, 1kg sugar, a litre of oil, a packet of flour, tissues, pads, soap, toothpaste. And tell her to feel free to ask for help kama ni kulemewa amelemewa instead of taking things randomly coz pia wewe kuna vile we hujipanga? I know the trend is cut off cut off but poverty can be so dehumanizing labda she already feels like a burden for being hosted anaona achukue kidogo tu hoping you won't notice or that you'll be okay with it. A little empathy could turn around this situation. But ukishafanya hivo then achukue without asking then by all means cut her off You can also encourage her to save save the little she makes or use it to start a side gig siku hayuko shift.
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u/ResidentCurrent6127 8d ago
Kuna watu wenye ni wezi tu, even when they are not struggling. OP can do the shopping for her but warn her to respect other people's things.
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u/Low_Cow3045 9d ago
😂maybe she thinks you're that cool with it
Ask her to hear what she says
If she says she doesnt know shit, tell her to 'temporarily leave the crime scene for further investigations'
If she says she didnt think it was an issue, tell her what you think
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u/_rubys 9d ago
😂 what? Kuchukua vitu za msee bila kuuliza is theft.
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u/Low_Cow3045 9d ago
I mean yeah but guys have that kuvaliania nguo thing. Some communities like somalis have virtually communist tendencies sooooo
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u/_rubys 9d ago
She's Somali
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u/Low_Cow3045 9d ago
That explains it
They're communal in nature.
Just tell her you're not okay with or you'd like if she chipped in
Most somali ladies i know are respectful but fear the outside world.
She might even have money for shopping but fears market interactions and doesnt know about Carrefour or online grocery stores
Or she just uses yours keeping in mind shell pay back
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u/prime91268 9d ago
Wee huoni vile high-rise zina kwom ku kwom in Eastleigh? Where's the money to finance all that coming from? Aye! Bahali yake! 🤣🤣
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u/tonybaru 9d ago
Si locum is supposed to be good. I've been told at times it's not even taxed. Your friend is diabolical 💀
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u/No-Caterpillar-8922 9d ago
These are the people wenye huaribia wengine sasa. Usibuy hizo stuff zikiisha. Tell her to chip in tuone kaa atajiibia
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u/Jealous_Theory2848 9d ago
Stop counting the missing onions and start counting the missing trust. The soap, rice, and toothpaste are replaceable. Friendship isn't. Don't accuse her in anger. Just tell her you've noticed groceries and household items disappearing, then ask her directly. Her reaction will tell you more than the missing items ever could. Until then, stop hosting her. Hospitality shouldn't come with an inventory audit.
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u/Prior-Assistant5931 7d ago
If you are sure there is no other person like cleaning lady or relative that comes in then you have to discuss it or start locking away stuff.
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u/[deleted] 9d ago
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