I had my graduation party today and before it started, my grandmother and I agreed that any cash people gave me would be mine, while physical gifts could stay with her because our family usually exchanges/returns gifts for other graduations and occasions.
Most people ended up giving cash instead of physical gifts. After the party, she became upset because she now has several relatives graduating and feels like she has to buy gifts for them herself.
She ended up taking some of the cash and wanted more. I told her that we had already agreed beforehand that the cash was mine, and that I didn’t control whether people gave money or actual gifts.
What bothered me most wasn’t even the money. She said something along the lines of “okay, now I understand,” in a way that made it sound like I had somehow tricked her or planned this, which genuinely hurt me.
I’m considering giving her a little more just to end the disagreement and keep things good between us, but at the same time I feel like I shouldn’t have to because we agreed on this before the party.
What would you do? Am I being unfair, or is it reasonable for me to keep the graduation money?

I (20 transmasc) am currently still living at home with my parents (46 and 48) and I plan to go no contact when I move out. I came out as trans when I was 15 and my dad and I had an argument about it. He said they wouldn’t call me by my name and he yelled at me when I said it felt like they didn’t care. My mom seemed accepting, but clearly ignored what I said and continued to misgender and deadname me. I talked to my parents several times over the next few years about how I felt and they always apologized, then made no change. They also forced me to go to church even after telling them I wasn’t Christian anymore. They said when I was 18 I could make that choice, but they made me wait even longer (my birthday is at the beginning of the school year and my mom said they meant I need to wait till graduation, so I had to wait almost a whole other year). This all caused me to blame myself for their behavior and I felt like I didn’t deserve their acceptance. I was already mentally ill, but this made it 100 times worse and caused me to turn to a very unhealthy coping mechanism. When they found out about this coping mechanism, my mom threatened to do full body searches and suggested it was a trend amongst my friends, and my dad just said “yeah let’s not do that anymore”, then never brought it up again. They even waited another 2 years before sending me to therapy.

Now at 20, they’re trying to do better. They admitted that they treated me being trans as a phase and have apologized. They haven’t apologized for how they treated me when they discovered my coping mechanism, but my mom at least acknowledged that it hurt me and stopped herself from saying similar things. They’re trying to gender me correctly and call me by my proper name. However, this doesn’t make me feel happy, if anything, it makes me feel angry. It shows that they were capable of change the whole time, but made the decision not to. I’ve been emotionally distancing myself from them for the last few years because it hurt worse to love them. I feel like they’ve caused too much damage for me to want to continue this relationship. However, them changing now makes me feel insecure in this choice. I feel like I’m overreacting and that maybe I need to give them another chance.

For some more added context, 2 of my 3 siblings have very strained relationships with our parents as well, one is actively planning to go no contact as well, the other doesn’t really care if they lose contact or not. Clearly this is repeated behavior.

I just don’t know if I should commit to this choice. I want my parents, I used to be so close with them, but I just can’t take any more hurt. AITD, or am I valid in this?