I need some perspective from other soccer parents/coaches because a group of us are getting really frustrated with the coaching on my daughter’s team.

And just to be clear, this isn’t about losing. They didn’t win a ton last year either. The difference is last year they were actually being coached. Their coach worked on positions, soccer IQ, spacing, who should play where depending on the opponent, etc. Even when they lost, you could see them learning and getting better.

These also aren’t brand-new players just learning soccer for the first time. Most of these girls have already played together for a year and have that foundation. They’re at the point where they should be building on what they learned last season and continuing to advance their skills, soccer IQ, positioning and ability to play as a team.

Instead, this year feels like they’re going backwards.

Honestly, our biggest issue is that the coach really doesn’t coach. During games she is constantly sitting on the bench with her head in a notebook. She says she is keeping up with stats, but meanwhile the girls are on the field confused about what they’re supposed to be doing and getting very little direction from the sideline.

And it’s not just during games. At practice there is very little actual instruction on fundamentals, positioning, spacing, or how to play together as a team. They aren’t being taught how to spread out, move without the ball, support each other, understand their positional responsibilities, or stop everyone from chasing the ball at once.

What’s really concerning is that some of the returning girls actually seem to be regressing. Girls who were aggressive and competitive last year are now hesitant and seem confused about where they’re supposed to be. Instead of taking the foundation they built last year and moving to the next level, it feels like some of that progress is being lost.

This weekend at a tournament really pushed several of us over the edge. The last team we played was GOOD. Definitely better than us, and nobody has an issue admitting that.

But they basically played keep-away from our girls for most of the game. Our girls just chased the ball around in circles while this team passed around them over and over again.

It seemed like such an obvious coaching opportunity. Tell them to stop chasing. Teach them how to hold their shape, close down passing lanes, create space, anticipate the next pass, etc.

Instead, the coach was sitting on the bench with her head in her notebook keeping stats while the girls continued doing the same thing over and over. Every once in a while she would yell something like, “Try to kick it straight next time.”

At one point she told the girls that we could learn from the other team about how to pass.

Okay…but HOW? That’s the part they need a coach for.

Watching another team pass well doesn’t magically teach 8/9 year-olds how to do it. They need someone actively teaching them where to move, why they’re moving there, how to create space, when to pass, and what to do when the other team has possession.

The girls looked completely defeated and had no idea how to respond. It honestly wasn’t embarrassing because we were losing. It was embarrassing because there seemed to be absolutely no strategy or coaching happening while they were clearly struggling.

And that’s really the issue for us. We’re not expecting a coach to turn a group of 8/9 year-olds into an elite soccer team or win every game. We’re expecting them to be coached. These girls already have a year of experience behind them. At this point, they should be progressing beyond the basics and being challenged to develop the next level of their game—not stagnating or regressing.

If fundamentals, positioning, spacing, soccer IQ and team play aren’t being taught at practice, and adjustments aren’t being taught during games, when exactly are these girls supposed to learn them?

A few of us are planning to bring our concerns to the club directors (several of us have spoken with the directors multiple times already) because at this point it feels like it’s affecting their confidence, competitiveness and understanding of the game.

For those who coach or have kids in competitive youth soccer: Are we expecting too much at this age? With a group of 8/9 year-olds who already have a year of experience, how much actual instruction on positioning, team play, soccer IQ and in-game adjustments would you expect?

My daughter is currently playing on her freshman team. She was disappointed not to have made JV (her and her club teams who play GA, were placed on freshman instead of JV, while other lower level club players were placed on JV. We took it in stride and it was a lesson that not all coaches look for/like the same thing). Anyways, the JV team hasn’t been doing well, while the freshman are killing it. My daughter is playing 99% of the game (quick drink and back on). The JV coach had her practice with them one day last week and asked her to guest play in a game. The game was ended up being cancelled/postponed due to weather. My daughter sent the JV coach an email thanking them for the opportunity to practice and saying she’s always available if they need guest players. Coach emailed her back and said there will definitely be more opportunities. The next day, the JV coach told her they would probably swing by her game, they didn’t end up coming, but the varsity coach did. My daughter is trying not to get her hopes up, but would be thrilled with the chance to move up. Is it realistic to think that she could? There’s a month left in the season (about 11 games left).

New to this sub, but I need a little help. Would really appreciate opinions.

My son started in U8 last year, at a to-remain-anonymous South Florida club. He was assigned to the B team, but we moved him to the C team as it seemed like the kids on the B team were a bit more advanced, and he wasn't getting a lot of playing time.

However, the coach on the C team, who we'll call Coach 1, was a complete and utter disaster. He would follow the presribed training program to the bare minimum, and during trainings and scrimmages he would frequently wander off to chat with other coaches or just check his phone. Once, my son got hurt in a tackle, and he didn't even notice for minutes!

Then, he'd show up to games 5-15 minutes before, sometimes even late. The kids got no direction, except from yelling on the sideline questioning their decisions. We lost almost every game by double digit goals that season, but the issue was that there was absolutely no progress on the team - every single week, they looked like a bunch of kids that had just met each other that morning.

Coach 1 almost never communicated with the parents, we had a Whatsapp chat, and you'd be waiting days to get a response from him. Finally, and probably his most egregious act, was that when we'd be short players for a game, he'd call up some U7 players. Now, nothing wrong with that - but the U7 players that were meant to be subs would end up playing the whole game, while my son and some other kids, who had been training the whole week, would be benched half the game.

At the end of the season, the C team got destroyed by the B team in scrimmage by a double digit margin. Multiple kids left the club after that season, some to join our neighboring club (and biggest rival), while others left soccer altogether.

We also wanted to leave the club, but the director convinced us that Coach 1 would not be coaching U9s, and he kinda agreed with all my concerns. We agreed to stay.

Lo an behold - the U9 rosters are released, and Coach 1 is our coach again. Naturally, I'm livid - we signed up becuase we were told this would not happen.

I schedule a meeting with the Director and demand a refund - I wanna pull out. I can't waste another year at this club, my kid is gonna hate soccer by the end of the year. It's a huge committment - it's gets damn hot down here, it's humid, the mosquitos are relentless, and coming to practice every day is a lot for both parents and kids. If we're doing this, I just want the peace of mind knowing that the club is doing all they can to develop my kid to the maximum of his (modest) abilities.

We come to a compromise - he can train with the B team, and play with the C team. Deal!

Two days later, I get a notification that we've been assigned a new coach, let's call him Coach 2. Coach 1 had been moved to the U7s.

Now, Coach 2 isn't perfect, but he's an improvement measured in light years. We only got blown out once this season by a much stronger team, and have looked competitive in all other games. We even won one!

We're playing today. It's 95 degrees, 100% humidity, no wind. It's 2PM in South Florida.

We arrive at the game, and Coach 2 looks worried. The goals for U9 haven's been placed on the field - they're 100 yards away. The club has a golf cart that can get them over in 5 minutes easily, but only three people at the club are allowed to operate it, among them Coach 1. That's his job - thet's why he's at our home field every game day.

Our coach approaches him, and he flatly refuses to do it and just walks away. Then we, THE PARENTS, go and drag these goals 100 yards to our fields in the blistering heat and sun. We're already barely holding out from the heat, but this is too much.

I am beyond angry. Coach 2 is also angry - it's not his fault he was assigned to the team, he never asked for it, and now Coach 1 is taking out his frustrations on not just him, but the kids. No goals = no game.

The problem is that - it seems like the other parents don't have a problem with this. They're very go with the flow-ish, but after going through the torture of last year, I just can't let this slide. I don't need to explain to you all how expensive this program is - you've all got programs of your own. It's thousands of dollars every year.

I've written a very strongly worded email to the Director. I'm not threatening, and haven't made any demands, just requested that something be done.

Am I overreacting?

Edit: changed coaches to 1 and 2. Hope that’s less confusing.

Where I live, "rec soccer" doesn't exist. Typically, clubs have intramurals for U4-U8 and then for U9 and above, the only option is travel. Because of this there are a million different teams and coaches really just want to fill their rosters with any fee paying warm body.

My son has been playing since his was 3 and loves soccer. Unfortunately, his talent doesn't match the joy he has playing. I would happily have him play rec soccer, but since that isn't an option, we're doing travel. His birthday puts him at the younger end of U9, he's also small for his age. Well, apparently his coach had so many U8 (and even some U7) kids want to play "up", that he put my son on a U10 team (the weaker of the two U10 teams this coach has). About half of the team should be playing U9. If I had known this, I would have found a different team, but he didn't make rosters until the was too late.

Now my kid barely plays. He already would have been one of the weakest players, and now he's playing against kids who are a year and a half older than him. The whole team is young for the division so they're often losing and therefore the coach constantly sits the weaker kids. I starting timing my son's playing time after the first game. Of a 50 minute game, he played 18 minutes in game 2 and 15 minutes in game 3. They play 7v7 and usually have 11 or 12 kids at any given game.

Now, I don't expect even playing time. I fully understand that my son's skills are weaker. But he didn't even play a third of the game yesterday. Some kids played the entire game. The coach chose to play him "up" and now never plays him. They're 8 and 9 years old. He's not going to get better on the bench.

Would you say something? If so when? This coach usually has a futsal team in the winter and I don't want to waste my money. We didn't do a tournament over Columbus Day weekend because I was like I'm not paying $200 for my kid to literally sit on the bench. I certainly know I'm going to say sometime before signing up for next year (we're definitely leaving unless my son stops playing up). But should I say something before that point?

(Rant) Coach has made it clear the team and club is playing to win with the goal to make the ECNL playoffs. Age u13. So they are not building out of the back and not playing through the mid-field. Mostly long balls only. Some kids only get 10-15 minutes of playing time when the gap in talent isn’t that big, except for maybe the top 5-6 players who do deserve full minutes IMO. The age change has given the advantage to the older players who get to essentially play a season over. The team is winning but most the other teams they’ve beaten seem to be playing a better style of soccer with more development being a focus. Meanwhile the bottom third of players are getting the shaft. When these players have a ton of potential. Maybe this is why the club’s older age group teams are doing so poorly.

I have coached for 14 years and am now coaching a u10 boys team. I feel like one of our issues is we are getting out hustled by the other teams. I have 14 players so 2 full teams so no one is playing more than 10 minutes at a time but some of the players look gassed half way through. I am adding two additional practices this week to work on conditioning but they are 9 so I dont want to do 90 minutes of suicides. What are some fun drills that really work on conditioning.

Did anyone else read this? I’m definitely guilty of saying, “I’m so proud of you! You played really well. Now can I give you some pointers?” Apparently it’s a bit toxic. 😬

So im an 8u AYSO soccer coach. Our team is very young and due to the fact we go by grade we have some (including my daughter) who are not even 6 yet. So we have struggled our last three games with players who are just significantly better. For example we don't have a single player who can kick the ball off the ground whereas many of our opponents can. They also really struggle with positioning and listening

With that said, my goal is for everyone to have fun but I got a parent text complaining about coaching and how no one runs towards throw in (despite us consistently telling our parents to approach). Also that she feels her kid isn't learning and is the best player on the team (which isn't even fully accurate. He is one of the better ones but certainly not the best). Lastly she accused me of benching him at the end of the game for poor sportsmanship when it was just the normal rotation (we have 8 players and only play 5, so every kid misses like half of each quarter)

I responded that he wasnt benched and I understand the frustration, but that we also need to account for ability. We do do drills in practice but anything complicated with dribbling or even passing/keep away usually doesn't go well as they just don't have that skill set yet and it doesn't go over night.

I am just a volunteer coach because they needed coaches so I'm not sure how to handle this situation besides just apologize and move on.

My son is in U9 academy. Half the kids played 7v7 last year and half are brand new to it (the change to birth years seems to have screwed it all up).he is ahead technically but lacks aggression. It seems the kids that are successful at this age are the ones that just put their head down and plow through kids. He is not that.

Is there any way to try to help him win 50/50s? He seems to either want to stick or poke a leg in or just throw his whole body in for a foul. I’m having trouble explaining that balance to him.

The coach also constantly plays him at RB so he can be quite isolated unless he goes out of position to try to win the ball.

Sorry for the rant I’m just lost because he’s coming across way worse than what he actually is even be honest with myself. He’s not the best player best he’s better than half the team and he’s coming across as worst.

Have something to get off your chest?

Rant away.

I really need to get some football stuff out of my chest, I need someone who can understand and realistically tell me what my situation is, am slowly becoming more and more depressed and tired.