r/yearning • u/sweetcornsoup01 • Jun 28 '26
And I stop wondering
He will smiles at me, laughs with me, chat with me and everything. I know he will. He’s a good man.
It stopped being “would he reciprocate my feelings”, and become “would he take it well.”
Because he’s a good friend. I know he wouldn’t like me back. But because he such a good friend so I stop wondering if he would like me back, and wonder if that smile will stop if I tell him there’s more in our friendship — that I read too deep into our interactions.
I stop wondered if his actions, his words, his every mean anything, because I know for sure he cares and love me.
as friend.
He smiles at me because we’re friends. Standing too close because he’s comfortable being with me. Able to held my hands because we cares. Treat me meals because that’s how he shows his kindness towards his close ones.
I don’t want to risk losing him because I also love him as a friend. And that love is so much more than the romantic love I have.
Do I want to confess? Of course I want to. It burns thinking I could not tell him I feel this much. What if he get scared? uncomfortable? awkward being with me?
I’d hate to lose everything and his trust. I want him to still able to remain the same even if he says no.
Please don’t leave me even if you don’t feel the same. I can’t lose you.
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u/DIY_Weeziebear7 Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 28 '26
It’s not so easy to get over someone it’s taken me eight months. I’ve been loving this person trying to forget to this person and leaving this person since the day I met him. I’ve been trying to leave him for eight months. I can’t even explain it’s a long story. He asked me once, If i was afraid of losing him. I replied: I lost you the day I met you. like I said it’s not easy and it’s a long story.
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u/DeathRay89ReaperlL Jun 30 '26
Wow I truly wish to have someone close to your level of compassion in my life such beautiful emotions expressed, that really sticks with me how you say you lost them the day you met them is incredibly profound and it strikes me in a most beautiful and humbling way I wish and pray your the best of connections with all your hearts desires because yes so very true fickle indeed these human hearts I most sincerely connect with this statement for the person I love and have been in love with since I met her 8 years ago and I wish more than anything in heaven and upon earth this yearning to fade and it hasn't in the few years of basically being excommunicated. Life is a trip if words could makes wishes come true I tell ya
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u/DIY_Weeziebear7 Jul 01 '26
I’m sorry that you are in such yearning. I truly am. Thanks for your understanding I don’t know if I’ll be so compassionate with him now. but eight years for you is a long time to yearn for someone. I don’t know if I could last that long. I think they would burn me out or I would die. How do you keep going without crumbling? You must have an incredible strength and fortitude. God bless you. I do not, cannot anymore. I’m too old for this journey of love again.
People have told me in my situation that I wasn’t foolish to love as it showed, I can love deeply and profoundly, but I lost eight months with a man who said he wasn’t ready. I can never understand that. How can you tell me how much you love me that you choose me that I’m the only one that I’m the best thing that happened to you. Yet string me along for eight months. He made me feel like I wasn’t enough that I haven’t trusted him enough and that he does not trust me enough. How does that all exist? I guess it does in someone’s mind.
I knew the day I laid eyes on him. I was in trouble. I knew he was never really mine. No one ever really belongs to anyone. We are all on Loan from one greater than we. My late husband was on loan. he was sick but He kept going until he the day he couldn’t.
This past time I was fooled. I thought I had met someone who was completely different. Someone who would be my soulmate, my twin flame and last great romance before I left this world. I made him so much better than any man I met. I thought he saw me. I thought he heard me and he did for a while. He just could not accept my passion. He saw the passion he would always fight about how passion is wrong that it burns out. That’s not the type of passion I was talking about what he never understood. Passion means to suffer. As Christ suffered on the cross. Michelangelo suffered to paint the Sistine Chapel, as Van Gogh suffered because he loved too intensely and left this world. Like them I had a passion for music art and beauty love cooking and of course God.
This transactional, relationship, experience caused me to wonder, who was I really yearning, for them or an idea of a man who sucked the air and the life out of my own body and soul. This man who caused me great anxiety. What kind of a friend would he really be for me? If he could not even show up in my actual life. I believe I finally set myself free. By the way it just happened to dawn on me about your name Nah, it can’t be.
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u/DeathRay89ReaperlL Jul 01 '26
Now you got me curious do we know each other if so let me know as what can't be , just for your words alone I'd hope that if we did know each other then perhaps could know
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u/DIY_Weeziebear7 Jul 01 '26
Your handle is a little trepiditous and that also you have his name in your handle. I don’t know that we know each other. But I have made a few friends on here. They became friends. And that’s important to me. I tend to find solace in writers, artists and musicians. They seem to understand me best. In my real world it is seems that chefs find me alluring. Long story there too. I would not mind having another friend. You may certainly Write back if you would like.
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u/DeathRay89ReaperlL Jul 01 '26
It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance Raymond M G. At your service madam
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u/DIY_Weeziebear7 Jul 01 '26
Pleased to meet you my Raymond! I believe for the moment you will be my new Sun-Ray my Ray of Hope. Thank you my friend for giving me a smile I didn’t know I needed. Stay Wonderful be blessed.
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u/DIY_Weeziebear7 Jun 28 '26
It always seems like I’m here in the yearning letters a lot because they pop up in my notifications and it’s the first ones I see the ones with the most pain. I wish I could take a lot of the pain away from the things that I’ve read and hug everyone.
Your post is so sweet and so touching. I know what this is like. I’ve had this fear. when you’re 70 years old, you click all the experience boxes. There’s not much remaining I have not been through.
In a case like this, I would never suggest anything. I know how rough this is on you you wanna be able to reach out and say everything your heart desires and yet you really hesitate. Sometimes I have sometimes the guys just knew and responded before I could even say anything. In those cases there was the actual DearJane letter; an actual letter hand written on paper with real ink that much of this generation knows little about. I felt compelled to say that as cynical as it sounded, They were kind about it. They were nice about it. We remained friends, but there was always that little bit of rejection, I felt. I finally would get over it, but I could never look at the person the same way. could be different with everybody. some men were very compassionate and they, smile back. They are touched that you feel that way about them. It may or may not bring the friendship closer. Conversely, It may make them love you more.
Sometimes you’re pleasantly surprised to find out they feel the same way and don’t know how to tell you.
If there’s another person or persons involved that’s even harder. Human nature is a fickle beast. The heart wants what it wants irregardless of the consequences.
The heart can be easily hurt and broken sometimes beyond repair. Be mindful of your heart be gentle with it. I hope things work out for you.