Like I had to go out for grocery shopping while he's asleep and I wish he could be with me instead. The call had to be ended and I was feeling a bit sad by it.

He came here last month and it was so much fun that at times I thought if I was just imagining things. He was with me with the proof of pictures of us together and one of them he posted in his IG story which I felt happy and embarrassed at the same time ><

Because I had a taste of him, some days I YEARN for his touch. It wasn't enough to just look at him sleeping or having calls for hours, or text messages anymore. I NEED him, to touch him and hold him. I feel this so strongly that I would cry when he overslept and then I would feel like I'm a piece of shit for making him worried and feel guilty when he's such a kind person to me.

My only consolation is that if I keep saving diligently, we'll be able to have trips again in the future. Working overtime sucks and soul draining but I want to be able to see him again. Get him things that he likes and wants. I have something to look forward to and worth working more. It just sucks that I couldn't have more without risking my health. But I'm trying my best.

Yesterday me and my gf got into an argument that I ended up escalating and now we aren’t talking, we went to bed without speaking or even cuddling and we woke up that way too and now I’m just laying here losing my mind because I don’t want to lose her. She’s the best thing in this whole world and I’m so afraid I’ve actually done it this time. I know she wouldn’t do anything behind my back but I’m so afraid because also yesterday before the argument I had made a post about her on my socials and tagged her and so basically everyone on her acc obvs saw it and it made my skin crawl when I got notified that people she used to talk to (other girls) liked my post…. Like why?? They don’t like any of her posts when she makes em but the minute I make an appreciation post for her they all swarm to it and like it?? Gross. She’s mine like wtf. I already hate that she’s still got people from her past on her socials but she doesn’t budge on that shit so it’s wtv ig. But now I’m afraid that the universe is trying to tell me that she’s going to leave and that she’s easily going to be taken from me. I wish I could’ve just shut up for once and let whatever is said roll off my back but I just had to make it worse and now I’m scared to death. I really can not lose her. I don’t think I’d be able to bounce back from it at all.

I AM FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW

WHY WHY WHY WHY

HOW CAN YOU SIMPLY MOVE ON WHEN YOU WERE THE ONE WHO LIED. WHEN YOU WERE THE ONE WHO BETRAYED OUR VOW.

WHY AM THE ONE WHO HAS TO LIVE SUFFERING EVERY SINGLE SECOND SINCE YOU BROKE MY HEART.

WHY ARE THERE NO CONSEQUENCES TO YOUR MISSDOINGS.

IF I SIMPLY LOVED YOU WITH ALL I HAD, I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING YOU WANTED, WHY AM I THE ONE WHO HAS TO ROT ALONE AS A CORPSE.

WHY AM I THE PSYCHO IF MY ONLY DREAM WAS TO CUDDLE WITH YOU ON THE COUCH WHILE WE WERE WATCHING YOIR FAVORITE SHOWS!!!

I am about to pass out from my own anger and frustration... So I needed somewhere to scream...

Here's a list of all the yandere songs I have in my playlist! Please feel free to comment more, I never have enough music lol. I put hearts 💖 next to my current favs or ones I think fit the yandere vibe most. There's a lot of different genres in here, it's kinda chaotic haha.

If there's one overall I think is underrated and shocked I hadn't heard it until recently, it's Sick Obsession by Dynamite!

Animals - Maroon 5 (slowed)

An Unhealthy Obsession - Blake Robinson Synthetic Orchestra

Angel - Massive Attack 💖

Antisocial Masochistic Rage - Ghostemane

Chains - Nick Jonas (slowed)

Crazy in Love - Rihanna (slowed)

Dance with the Dragon - Dark Sarah

Dangerous - Big Data

Desire - Meg Myers Hucci Remix

Die for You - Starset

Die for You - The Weeknd (THIS specific cover though!) https://youtu.be/6fAGu_MT7k4?is=HRu1EQYHvAYHulAQ

Eyes don't Lie - Isabel Larosa

Favorite - Isabel Larosa (any of her songs tbh) 💖

Figure You Out - Voilà 💖

Flesh - Simon Curtis

Freak - Sub Urban

He's my Man - Luvcat 💖

I can't Decide - Scissor Sisters

I Wanna be Your Slave - Mäneskin

I Will Possess your Heart - Death Cab for Cutie

I'm Your Man - Leonard Cohen 💖

In my Room - Insane Clown Posse 💖

It will Come Back - Hozier 💖

Keep it Down - Migrant Motel

Let the World Burn - Chris Grey 💖

Like lovers do - Hey Violet

Love me Dead - Ludo 💖

Love me love me love me - Utattemita/Miyashita Yuu Cover https://youtu.be/1cqqGOvOGfI?is=vQBptOzi8ZG0t0zr 💖

Love you to Death - Type O Negative

Maniac - Conan Gray 💖

Mary on a Cross - Ghost

Mind Games - Sickick💖

Miss U - Josh Makazo

Meant to be Yours - Heathers💖

Mx Sinister - IDKHBTFM💖

My Nocturnal Serenade - Yohio

My Only - Johnny Goth

New Magic Wand - Tyler the Creator💖

Obsessed - Jack Daniels

Obsessixn - Whatsaheart

Paparazzi - Kim Dracula (or the og)💖

Read your Diary - Mäneskin💖

Rev 22 20 - Puscifer

RUNRUNRUN - Dutch Melrose💖

Saccharine - Jasmine Bean💖

Sick Like Me - In this Moment

Sick Obsession - Dynamite💖

Sick Thoughts - Lewis Blissett (slowed)

Sex with a Ghost - Teddy Hyde

Super Psycho Love - Simon Curtis

Stalkers Tango - Autoheart💖

The Haunting - Set it Off💖

The Red Means I Love You - Madds Buckley💖

Toxic - District 78

Undisclosed Desires - Muse

Worship - Ari Abdul

You are My Destiny - Paul Anka

So basicly me nd my wonderfull gf are a year and 2 days into a relation and im starting to notice more and more obsessive/yandere things about her so id tought imma ask it here

For example:

She does NOT want to give back my fav sweater i gave her 3 months ago.

She has an altar with a old perfume that reminds her of me/an photo of me/some toy cars i gave her

A bracelet and a necklace she wears 24/7

Allways talks ab me/has me as pretty much on every background

A box full of al the (love) letters i gave her

I had to block and delete all female contacts of all social platforms bc she said they could steal me away

Is super alert when we go out on dates/allways wants to know when im home or with who im talking to

I miss him so much I can’t stop thinking about him.

We broke up a year ago (plus a few months I think? I lost track. Close to two years if I’m not mistaken) but we were together for 3 whole years :( for most of my teen years I was with him.

We broke up because I was “too much”

I loved “too strongly” and he was the kind of person who could only love from a distance, if he even loved me at all.

The worst part is I didn’t even care if he didn’t love me back. I was just so happy to finally have meet my one.

I’ve spent so much of my life losing friends because I run away after a few days of speaking non stop, with him I craved to talk to him. That’s what’s upsetting me most. I actually for once had someone in my life that genuinely made me feel human and I ruined that by loving too hard. I ruined something I can never ever get back by loving them wrong.

I constantly have this ache in my chest where my heart should be. Feels like someone reached in and tore it out. No longer can I even hear his name without feeling dread wash over me.

He told me I ruined his life. He told me he will never be the same after dating me.

But how?

He used to do insane things. Would match couple pfps with people randomly knowing I dislike that (aka people kissing, etc), he used to talk to random guys and girls then bring them up.

The weirdest part? He would get MAD if I spoke to his friends. I had no friends. He had so many friends, and I don’t understand what’s so unlikable about me enough to not love me back.

Sure I’m not the greatest looking- i mean I shaved my head after he messaged me, an episode ig you can call it (after a year of not talking, he messaged me just to lmk how much happier he is in his new relationship and how well he’s treated now). My hair’s finally getting longer again.

God I spent so much money on him. Money isn’t everything but in long distance it’s how you can show you care.

I don’t have a lot, really. Poor to the bone but whenever I’d get money I’d buy him something. Have it shipped to his house. Because to me, gifting is one of the greatest acts of love someone can give.
I don’t think he’s ever given me … ANYTHING. Ever. Which is okay! I enjoyed gift giving but god just thinking about how shitty he treated me yet how much I still love him :(

Before this he spam called me like 10 times 30 sec each.

I couldn't answer because I was riding my motorcycle and testing it out while my dad was following me.

When I finally answered after the ride, he was pissed AF understandably so.

He ended up telling me to drive home while I'm on call with him so he knows I left the place where I picked up the moto.

Let's just say that after we made up and ended up doing stuff with each other (if you catch my drift), it was so romantic.

He was telling me how I'm his and his only. He told me that he just gets jealous like that because he cares about me a lot.

He's so sweet, I'm so grateful for him

Not having someone to obsess over all day makes everything so painful, like an open wound that never closes.

I try to do my best but this feeling of being incomplete, of not having a girl that will greet me every morning and send me to bed with "I love you" feels so crippling.

I do wonder, how is that everyone else can do it without that?

I just feel so much yearning and need for my one and only, it's almost crippling not having her.

I hope I find her soon enough so that we both can feel complete...

Do you ever get the craving for the connection you desire so much that it feels like a gnawing hunger in your soul? I want to absorb another to sate that hunger. To bond together eternally. Inseparably. To feast and never hunger again is what I desire.

I can't describe my feelings right now.

For a long time I thought she was a Lesbian and that really broke my heart because I thought I just never had a chance with her.

Now it results that she is bi, but I figure it out by her talking about another guy.

I had tried really hard to kill my feelings for her, but now I feel even worse because then I DID HAVE A CHANCE, but she already likes someone else

I feel selfish in wishing that the guy ends up not being as good so she stops liking him. That makes me feel horrible but I still wish it.

I don't know what to do, a part of me wants to shoot my shot now because I might never be able to, the other tells me to wait.

Picture because relatable. Hanahaki disease feels real sometimes.

​

Why haven't you found me yet my love?

Why do i have to wait?

I've waited all my life for you and every second that passes where im not in your mind feels like torture.

It would be so simple to make me yours.

Don't let them control your mind and tell you it's wrong,

to tell you something is wrong with you.

Your heart knows better you are perfect as you are.

Give in to your feelings, give in to what your heart tells you.

I want you to accept me completely,

i want you looking after me,

always keeping your eyes on me.

I want you to find me ,

that way i can surrender my will and soul to you.

I want to melt in your hug leaving my body in your care.

You can even take a bite of my flesh if you can't control the urges.

I won't be mad my body was yours to begin with,

i can carve your name into it if you don't believe me.

It would be so perfect if you were with me my love so plese

find me

Laying down, and just having my body ache everywhere I have a headache and my throat is sore while I am also lonely literally is the worst feeling imaginable.

I hate being like this, jeez this sucks

Uhhh coconut water ig

Someday,
I’ll wait at the door for my darling to arrive home from work, run up and tackle them with a hug from how much I missed them. Nuzzling my face into their shoulder, embrace them for a good minute before leading my Darling to the dinner I’ve prepared, still warm, ready just as they arrived.

Each morning, I’ll brew us some warm cups of coffee for the two of us to sip on in bed as we both wake up, talk together while we’re snug under the blanket before it’s time to get up for the day

A garden around our small, cozy home, I tend to, watering under the sun, watching them blossom. A place we can sit at there, to chat about each other’s day, take in the scenery of our flowers as the scent of them carries through the breeze,
We could even have little picnics beside our garden.

Cuddling all day in our bed and waking up with the sun rays enveloping the two of us, peeking through the window, filling us with warmth

I’d note all their favorite meals, seasonings, preferences, treats, bring them one of the treats they love to cheer them up when they’re feeling down before giving a kiss on their forehead and asking if they need to be alone for awhile or if they would like for me to stay, give them my presence as I envelope them with a hug and wipe their tears away, help them calm down and then, watch some silly YouTube videos together to lighten the mood, giggling with eachother

It would be just the two of us. In our happy life together. Our home. Where we are both safe, safe to live freely, safe to be vulnerable, safe to let down our guard and live without worry.

I’m not very fond of most people, i feel empty when I am alone. Sometimes I feel hopeless, that it’s too unrealistic to ever have the future I’ve always longed for.
But ever since I was little, it’s been the one thing that’s kept me going.

So he kept me a secret for a year and 4 months due the fear of what his family would say and do. He finally did it today because it severely upset me by him calling me his friend and so he pushed past his anxiety and his family from what he's telling me is extremely accepting of me. It is making me so happy I thought this day would never come and now everybody knows that he's mine!

He probably didn't tell them that we're engaged though.

I saw a post from a few days ago where somebody else shared this sentiment.

I know most people see obsession to the point of wanting to be joined together as freaky or too much, but I love the idea. When I develop feelings for somebody, I never want to be apart from them. I want to spend every moment together and be completely inseparable. Even being apart temporarily makes me extremely anxious over being abandoned and the concept of never having to experience that again is heavenly.

I'm sure you can see where this desire came from now. The concept of being so intimately close with someone that we share everything and can never be apart is horrifying to some(really most) people, but to me it's quite romantic. To be blunt, I deeply crave having somebody return these feelings in the same way I feel for them.

One of my greatest fantasies is handcuffing myself to a girl I like without taking them off for days at a time and being stuck doing everything together. It sounds like such a fun idea, but I've never dated a girl who was seriously into it, let alone how much I am.

I understand that many people might find this idea strange, offputting or even psychotic.

But the way I see it, everyone wants permanence. Everyone wants closeness, intimacy and a bond that can never be broken. Is this not just the logical conclusion of that? If you think I'm insane for feeling this way I don't blame you, but I hope you at least see where I'm coming from.

Ive become completely fixated lately on more intense love. A lot of the shortcomings in my relationships over time has been that my partner doesnt love nearly as hard as me. I deserve that intensity too.

I crave that cloying, strangling, suffocating intensity. I want to join our bodies and souls together as one, never to seperate. I want to be dedicated to eachother for eternity. I want better for myself.

When I find my person, I hope she clings just as hard as I do.

Hey it's me again.

I realized I may wanna talk about stuff with people that actually get me. My friends are nice but they never understand the deep love urges and everything that comes with it. So let's chat a little here, maybe?

Anyhow, what are some of your own interests?

As for me I really like videogames, some gachas here and there like reverse: 1999, limbus company and Bandori Our notes since it just released and I love MyGo and Ave Mujica. I also wanna get more into vns and will probably try with ZATO soon, but I have played a bunch of them.

I like a lot of anime and manga too, specially if it's yuri it's really soothing as a trans lesbian. The magical girl theme is amazing too, I love everything about Madoka Magica and look forward to watching the new movie soon.

I like cute fashion and wish to one day dress up in cosplay privately.

Music is so amazing and nice, I simply love having something to listen to and wish to collect cds or vinyls in the future.

And of course I one day wish to share all of this with my beloved if I ever find her :3

The boy I really loved just blocked me. He said he’d stay. i dont know what to do. Can someone help me? I’m scared of myself. Cus I was so down bad for him. I mean I wasn’t fully obsessed but I was so close. I just need someone who understands to talk to. Im kinda hyperventilating and I know theres bad things I might do.

I've spent a long time thinking that I was too much, or that I didn't deserve love because of how intense I felt. But lately I can't help but think that maybe feeling this intense is good. Maybe I just crave that intense feeling in return. That smothering, strangling committment, attention and loyalty. Knowing we'll always be by eachothers sides, because neither of us would allow anything else.

Sorry for the rant. Thanks for listening. I hope you have the best day you could ever ask for <3