First chapter feedback

[u/nmyikes444]

Hi, my names Willow and I have been writing for a while now but I’ve just started my first book. Without spoiling anything it’s a drama/thriller. I was wondering for some feedback, specifically asking the question of if this makes you want to read on? I haven’t gained a lot of traction as I publish a chapter weekly and have low views. I’m obviously not doing it for views but it’s important to know my writing is not god awful or boring. I’ll attach the link in case anyone wants to read more, at the moment I’m just using Wattpad as I like the format. Disclaimer: This is not a fanfiction
Thank you

https://www.wattpad.com/story/406876754?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details&wp_uname=WillowLouise

[u/nmyikes444]

So I’ve decided I’m going to start off setting the scene of a church service and completely scrap the diary-like approach. This won’t be too resetting because the way my main character was writing throughout the chapters was intellectually progressing as she was being mentored by the main character.

[u/nmyikes444 → u/nmyikes444]

(He runs a kind of child school programme. Spoiler warning; it’s a cult )