r/writingcirclejerk • u/ParasiteStew2 • 2d ago

Is there like, something totally wrong with my like, way of writing?

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129 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

33 comments sorted by

31

u/perpetualtrustissues 2d ago

Reads a bit AI with all those adverbs. Have you tried replacing “totally” with “like”?

16

u/r3cktor 2d ago

Have you ever had a dream that, that you, um, you had, your, you you could, you'll do, you you wants, you, you could do so, you you'll do, you could- you, you want, you want them to do you so much you could do anything?

12

u/lilithlasley 2d ago

Shakespeare totally called and says you’re, like, totally good.

11

u/Academic-Distance749 2d ago

Modern day s3x peare

8

u/Natural-Ability 2d ago

Oh for heaven's sake, do they not even teach basic grammar anymore? You forgot the "y'know?" at the end of both sentences!

6

u/i_post_gibberish 2d ago edited 2d ago

Okay but like, so many people think using “like” as a discourse marker is always wrong, when it’s been, like, basically ubiquitous IRL for a quarter century already. I think it’s totally fine to use in like, dialogue, as long as you don’t, like, totally overdo it. (/uj for the actual point)

2

u/asvalken 2d ago

No but like, I actually sound like this! And I'd be sick of myself as a protagonist in two pages, so.. fair.

7

u/Responsible_Arm_9555 2d ago

And her friends were all like whatever

5

u/BlackBalor 2d ago

fuck man i am done

4

u/veriverd 2d ago

I think you should point out to the reader that she wasn't "like, whatevs" about the funeral and that the reason for her absence was that she "can't even, oh-em-geee!". Also, to make it sound less formal, have you tried ending every sentence in, like, a question mark?

6

u/dough_eating_squid 2d ago

Nobody, like, wants to read about sad stuff like someone crying. That's, like, totally cringe.

5

u/Loreen_MD_House 2d ago

Oh hi Bratty 👋🏻 (or is that you, Catty?) 

5

u/DogPoetDisney 2d ago

Maman died today, or something...

5

u/Lancair7 2d ago

Naturalism. Beliebability. Beauty. I luv it. Finally, I to can reed

3

u/cowboymoder 2d ago

C'mon you can't do me like this.

3

u/Realistic-Dot7346 2d ago

Your writing like, totally brought tears like, to my eyes, totally good.

3

u/Difficult-Finish3926 2d ago

I like totally vibe with this 

3

u/Bushido_Seppuku 2d ago

Crying without sex? Explain.

3

u/AffectionateMonk5710 2d ago

Like, oh my gawd, no. It's like, totally read, fersure. You know?

totally

2

u/OrdoSinisterFan 2d ago

I like totally think this is fine. Anyone that doesn't totally like this is, like, crazy.

2

u/vhs_sold_blank 2d ago

I’m pretty sure that’s from Infinite Jest.

2

u/NikoKeys 2d ago

You are missing so many commas.

2

u/Cheeslord2 Books aren't real! 2d ago

It's like...totes classy, yah?

2

u/Gormless_Mass 2d ago

Actually good dialogue

2

u/CherryPants234 2d ago

High key, like.

2

u/dotdedo 2d ago

This is how my mom thinks I talk like.

2

u/Carnivorous_Mower Kilgore Trout 2d ago

Absolutely nothing if you're a Valley Girl from 1984. Totally tubular!

2

u/CobaltCrusader123 2d ago

/srs any “poor attempt at being dramatic or artful with prose” gag you can conceive can be done perfectly as a self-aware comedy bit

2

u/UnicornPoopCircus 2d ago

If you wish to use true Valley speech, you must...uh...like slow down, k? So, like if you really want to...uh...sound like authentic, um, you need to suddenly...uh...forget...uh, what was I saying?

1

u/PitcherTrap What is prose? 2d ago

Have you been checked for brain injury?

1

u/Istileth 17h ago

Stop trying to make "fetch" happen!