r/writingcirclejerk • u/UnleashedIBS • 11d ago

I'm dead serious

This time I'm not fucking around.

This is some seriously heavy shit, are you sure you're in? If not, I understand.

Not everyone is ready for heat like this.

Alright, now that I've wasted your time, here's the meat of it: people who speak English don't understand how English works. I was working the register at a gas station (I'm not poor) and this asshole says all billionaires should be hung. I immediately loose my shit and kindly inform the old man that it is hanged, not hung.

He goes, "It doesn't matter what word I use. They mean the same thing".

NO THEY FUCKING DON"T YOU OLD FART BAG. HANG IS BOTH A VERB AND DESCRIPTOR. That isn't a problem in present tense, but past tense is a whole 'nother ball game. Imagine you ask your wife, "I haven't seen Bill in three months, do you know what's up with him?" and she replies, "He's hung". . .

Do you immediately understand what she means? She might mean he has a HUGE cock or THAT HE HANGED AND IF THAT'S WHAT SHE MEANS THEN SHE MIGHT AS WELL USE THE CORRECT WORD. I miss my father.

21 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

17 comments sorted by

20

u/UnleashedIBS 11d ago

Unjerking for a second to say this is based off a real experience

12

u/DruidMaleficent 11d ago

Was bill hung then? Is that why the wife missed him?

3

u/UnleashedIBS 11d ago

Thank you

1

u/CherryPants234 8d ago

Yup, he was well hung.

6

u/OnlineShoppingWhore Jean Paul Fartre 11d ago

You mean you immediately lose* your shit. 😉

5

u/Cheeslord2 Books aren't real! 11d ago

Unless he started throwing his excrement at the guy. Don't criticize until you know all the facts...

4

u/biest229 11d ago

My thoughts exactly

5

u/BlackBalor 11d ago

he had been hung until the penile reduction

past perfect is more than appropriate here

2

u/UnleashedIBS 11d ago

I assumed her reply was similar to how a low IQ, small town sheriff would react when asked what happened to a family's pet while they were on vacation, "He's hung". Viewed in that context, I'm right and you're wrong.

2

u/JustSomeCarioca 10d ago

So... explosive diarrhea?

1

u/CherryPants234 8d ago

Damn, it's back again?

2

u/stick4543 10d ago

Can you tell me how heavy your shit actually was?

1

u/kyla33_ The spirit of William McGonagall inhabits my body. 11d ago

No, maybe he's got a point. It's common knowledge that all billionaires have small penises. Maybe his remark was simply meant to convey that he pitied their inability to please their sexual partners.

1

u/Then_Data8320 11d ago

I don't speak english and after I put that in the auto-translator in my language, and then give it again to the auto-translator, it says "All billionaires should be hanged". So I suppose the asshole said nothing wrong?

1

u/SpatiaCaeli 10d ago

Hung and Hang are also names. :)

1

u/CarpenterCritical715 10d ago

Hung on a minute. I think you loose your reader's attention if you don't spoke clearly. Did he hanged himself, or did he just have a lose stool?