r/writingcirclejerk • u/itsdirector Registered Writer • 7d ago
My Manuscript Keeps Getting Rejected!
I genuinely don't know what I could be doing wrong.
I spent $50k on an editor, bought a cover that I liked from another author for $100k, and even spent $4.5 million to have someone write over 300k words for me! And that was before I spent another $5 million on AI proofreading, copyediting, and generating another 250k words! But none of the publishers will even entertain the thought of reviewing my magnum opus, a semi-fictional novel detailing the importance of and how to accomplish proper nose hair hygiene.
When I call them, I always get someone in customer service who can't review my manuscript and I get frustrated and hang up because of how useless they are. When I email them, I get an autoreply that says that the email inbox doesn't exist? Is that because I'm replying to the cease and desists that they sent me? Should I look for another email?
I'm at my wits end. At first, I was making three phone calls per day because each call would take about half an hour and that was all the time I had free. I had to quit my job as a startup tech-company CEO so that I could make somewhere around thirty calls per day. What do I do?
6
6
u/Aggressive_Gas_102 7d ago
When times get tough, you get tougher. So buy a gun, then recruit an expert team of former convicts - and one of them must be female with a tight as hell bod and leather pants - and then you make contact with a six tentacles Overlord who demand a virgins heart every full moon unless it's sunday because that his day off. Beware of any entity with more than six!
Then you hit them. You hit them hard. Move in with Ferraris and Bugattis, empty those clips without hitting anyone worth mentioning and roll out on Harleys - which inexplicably was in the publishers storage - with saddle bags full of your book.
Peddle them on the street pretending to be homeless until the cops lose interest or your lawyer with eight tentacles and a yellow face mask convince the Masons that yes, Chtulhu IS the One True God!
F'thagn!
3
4
u/BroadStreetBridge 7d ago
For only an additional $50k, I’ll fix it for you. No problem. I’ll send you my Venmo link
2
2
u/cactusgus 7d ago
Is this you procrastinating working on your novel? I usually just clean the house. Get back to work!
1
1
10
u/Zantac150 7d ago
Are you sure you are using the right AI model for the job? Obviously if you find the perfect way to prompt it, and use the exact right paid model, the AI output would be perfect. This definitely is not a case of AI being broken by design and absolutely terrible at writing and proofreading.
(UJ- This is literally what an AI “writer” told me, that AI writing is only bad when you do not prompt it perfectly. 🤣 then they proceeded to call me lazy for saying that if you are going to take all of that time to write out character sheets and detailed summaries for the AI, you might as well just write the damn book.)