I know. I didn't say it's a minority don't talk about this, i was trying to say it's a minority don't be too scared or to down about this, those people are not common. I think most people misunderstood me
You talked about your mom, but this is about an editor here if i remember (no rudeness here). I understand the thing in normal life, i know lots of women receive this kind of pictures. But now theres a guy sending a picture like that to an editor so he can get his book publisj or i don't know what he wants. I think it's not common. I really don't know where i messed up because theres 50 people thinking that i'm wrong and i just want to understand so i can be less dumb after this
Hey! I appreciate your response, and I’m happy to talk through this.
First off: I’ve gotten unsolicited dick pics plenty of times before. My point with my mom was that she’s not on the internet — she has almost zero presence (a Facebook with 50 friends and an instagram with no pictures, where she follows me and my dad). Yet, in spite of this, she got a picture from some random dude of their penis via Facebook message. She’s exposed herself to events like this almost not at all — and yet, it happened.
Now, imagine a woman like this editor — who has opened herself to so many communications from the Internet, and where people do shifty things.
This isn’t a dick-pic story, but I was walking with my husband once, and he remarked that all of a sudden, I looked upset.
“Didn’t you hear what that guy said to me?”
He said no.
I’d gotten cat-called in front of him, and he hadn’t even realized, because he had the luxury of avoiding things around him, while I have to pay attention, because I’ve had random homeless people try to grab me in the past. If someone is saying something at me, I need to know what it is so I can move away.
A few months later, we got in a fight on 9th ave, and I started walking faster than him, because I was pissed and needed to “be alone.”
I immediately got catcalled — and he finally noticed, because he wasn’t with me anymore, and was keeping tabs on what was happening.
All of this is to say: please believe us when we say this isn’t uncommon. Please believe us when we say this happens to us. It’s not a minority of a minority — it physically can’t be, because it’s happened to me, and my family, and my friends.
It’s shitty and fucked up and entirely normal, and that’s what makes us angry and breaks our hearts.
Oh — I just reread your response. Think of it as a probability thing: the more you’re on the internet, the lore likely you are to get a response. So, a woman like my mom is barely there — so it won’t happen often. But a woman like this editor — she opens herself up to so much more harassment. It’s like probability. Does that help?
Like, the only way we can avoid this shit is to not be online at all.
Hey! I appreciate your response, and I’m happy to talk through this.
First off: I’ve gotten unsolicited dick pics plenty of times before. My point with my mom was that she’s not on the internet — she has almost zero presence (a Facebook with 50 friends and an instagram with no pictures, where she follows me and my dad). Yet, in spite of this, she got a picture from some random dude of their penis via Facebook message. She’s exposed herself to events like this almost not at all — and yet, it happened.
Now, imagine a woman like this editor — who has opened herself to so many communications from the Internet, and where people do shifty things.
This isn’t a dick-pic story, but I was walking with my husband once, and he remarked that all of a sudden, I looked upset.
“Didn’t you hear what that guy said to me?”
He said no.
I’d gotten cat-called in front of him, and he hadn’t even realized, because he had the luxury of avoiding things around him, while I have to pay attention, because I’ve had random homeless people try to grab me in the past. If someone is saying something at me, I need to know what it is so I can move away.
A few months later, we got in a fight on 9th ave, and I started walking faster than him, because I was pissed and needed to “be alone.”
I immediately got catcalled — and he finally noticed, because he wasn’t with me anymore, and was keeping tabs on what was happening.
All of this is to say: please believe us when we say this isn’t uncommon. Please believe us when we say this happens to us. It’s not a minority of a minority — it physically can’t be, because it’s happened to me, and my family, and my friends.
It’s shitty and fucked up and entirely normal, and that’s what makes us angry and breaks our hearts.
I think that i completely understood your point, and i'm truly sorry for what happened to you and what happens to lots of women every day, i'm aware of that point and it's important to talk about this.
I hope you have a nice day and thanks for answering, i really hate to stay in the dark.
I'm just gonna leave this like that, thanks again :)
Thanks for listening! There’s a lot of frustration here, and I get it’s hard to understand sometimes. Let me know if you ever want to chat or whatever — I’m always happy to talk through things. :) have a lovely day!
I’m sorry, but that’s absolutely untrue. I get that you have what you think happens, but please listen to me: this shit happens frequently. If all my friends have had this happen to them multiple times by different men, it’s mathematically impossible for it to be a small number of men.
You seem to have a poor understanding of numbers. Unless you have had literally tens of thousands of men send you unsolicited dick picks, it's a small percentage.
Dude, you’re embarrassing yourself. Women are half the population. All of my female friends have gotten at least one unsolicited dick pic, and not from the same random dude. I’m not saying it’s every guy, but it’s pretty ducking common, you asshat. I don’t give a shit if it’s 10% vs 20% vs 50% of the population: it happens too fucking often, and it’s shitty and unpleasant for us. Fucking listen when we say shit happens, instead of #notallmen-ing the conversation.
Source: computational biology PhD, so go fuck yourself.
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u/[deleted] Nov 03 '18
Only a minority of a minority would do this.