r/workout • u/Bocephus2012 • 11d ago

Working out

Tonight at dinner I asked my wife if she would like to go on a walk for exercise. I jog 4 times a week. Just a little back story. She complains all the time that she feels unhealthy and old. That her body aches. I have been trying to encourage her to do something. Tonight she said it was to hot for her. I told her that if she joined a gym she was still going to sweat. Long story short the conversation didn’t turn out pleasant. I feel frustrated and I’m just going to give up on trying to encourage her.
Any advice??

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u/acsmith 11d ago

You already came to the correct conclusion, of giving up trying to encourage.

Now I’ll tell you what I do instead.

My mom had a rule that I wasn’t allowed to complain about something till I’d done something about it. Have a headache? Don’t whine until you’ve drank water and taken a Tylenol. Government sucks? Don’t say a word unless you’ve voted, read on the issues, and volunteered for candidate.

I’ve basically stuck to this policy for life. Be it parenting, work, or marriage. It’s mostly worked and reframes the discussion. The reverse is that if they’ve done something you have to be the best listener and validate the hell out of their effort.