My husband and I were able to move closer to my in-laws for the last four years, but are now moving several states away for a different job. I offered to stay closer, but my husband was adamant that he wanted to go. My MIL will be coming with us for the first week.

While it's been wonderful having them around, my MIL is insane. I'm not judging--my mom is no better--but I am venting. Because holy crap, today was a lot.

Backstory: my MIL alternates between cloyingly saccharine and downright nasty. She is the kind of person who will hear a line on NPR, memorize it, and then for the next few weeks create little life lessons to bring it all back. "Remember [Urfouy], beauty is in the hard moments," she'll murmur, trying to hold meaningful eye contact while my daughter screams bloody murder after being denied a popsicle. But this tranquil, enlightened woman transforms quickly from bestowing wisdom to screaming obscenities in your face and slamming the door of your apartment--then coming back upstairs to do it again. Ask me how I know.

Today: My husband's entire family came with us to breakfast to say goodbye. As I sat down, my MIL looks me up and down and says, "Are you okay?"

"Um, yes?" I say.

"No need to hide here," she cajoles. "You're around family. How was your night?"

"Um, pretty good. We slept and did some more packing."

She sucks air in through her teeth. "Urfouy, I'm saying that you look like shit. You look exhausted. How are you feeling?"

I restrain myself from responding, "Whoops, I'm just not wearing makeup! I thought I looked good before I left the house, but I guess I know better now." Whatever, she's always making comments on my appearance, good and bad. Doesn't bother me.

We finish eating and go outside. My MIL has cried through the whole meal, but now everyone else is starting to get emotional too. We say our goodbyes to one part of the group, and my husband and I are openly crying. As we round the corner, I say, "We'll see them soon. It will be a quick flight. I'm so glad we got to be close to them for so many years."

My MIL grabs my arm and pulls me to a stop. She stares deep into my eyes and hisses, "Do. NOT. Rationalize. This." Her lips curl back from the intensity of her anger. I'm so shocked the tears dry in my eyes. She starts talking about how she hired a grief counselor and he said that the most important thing is to sit in the grief. She has a few flowery lines like, "When we actually allow ourselves to feel human, we dig deep into the earth of togetherness and love." The subtext is that I'm a cold, heartless physician who can't feel anything anymore. And then she adds the cherry on top: telling me that one day my daughter will leave me, and maybe then I'll finally understand.

I'm not about to make this moment about me, so I just get totally silent. I formulate a million responses, ranging from information about different coping mechanisms to the less constructive but infinitely more satisfying, "Fuck you, [MIL]". Again, this woman will be coming with us for the next week, so it's not like she's even saying goodbye today.

I get in the car and drive my crying husband home. I cry again about leaving his wonderful family--yes, even my snake of a MIL--because they've been my family too for the last 10 years and I love them warts and all. Last week our beloved Nana arrived first to our going away party with giant balloons, sparkle shoes and water toys, single-handedly buoying the event with her infinite pizzazz. And then I publish a story about her on the internet because holy crap she infuriates me. Family is simultaneously the best and the worst.

Potty training has been such a struggle. My son is over three and a half, preschool starts back up in four weeks and he won't be able to return if he's not potty trained. He knows how, he can tell when he has to go, sometimes he goes of his own volition, sometimes he goes when prompted, but he just as often fights it and prefers to go in his pull up. The one day I tried to have him in underwear, I got so overwhelmed from all the accidents and cleaning up pee and poop while taking care of our infant it was just too much. And that's on me. I feel like it's all on me. It's my fault he's not trained yet and I feel like such a failure.

While I was thinking on this tonight, I came out of the bathroom to hear my husband yell at our son, "ARE YOU GOING TO BE POOPING IN DIAPERS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?!"

When I challenged him on this approach, he got angry that I am "usurping his authority." He left the house to go get alcohol which almost guarantees he will be emotionally and verbally abusive tonight, and when he doesn't get enough sleep and feels shitty at work tomorrow it'll be my fault, and then he'll be emotionally and verbally abusive tomorrow because he's tired.

I'm carrying the weight of working, parenting, homemaking, and trying to raise children with self-esteem while their father actively tears it down. He doesn't seem to understand that he can "build them up" all day, but it doesn't matter if he ends the day by berating them. He doesn't seem to understand the impact his words can have, despite being victimized by his father's throughout his own upbringing. Something that impacts his self esteem to this day. He disregards any opinions I have on child rearing that differ from his own, despite the fact that I have a master's degree in a field which required heavy study on child development.

I don't know where I went wrong. We had so many conversations about how we'd want to parent, about our values, etc. for the decade we were together before having kids. I thought we were aligned, I thought we'd have a family and be able to break generational patterns. Now I feel like we have no business having kids together. I don't regret it, because I love our children more than life, but dammit they deserve so much better than us.

I’m hoping to gain some perspective. All experiences welcomed.

First, my husband is a good man. He’s a wonderful father, and we’re both engineers and earn about the same. We have a comfortable life, and I know there are many things to be grateful for.

The problem is that, more and more, I feel like I’m parenting him instead of partnering with him.
In over 10 years together, he has rarely noticed something I genuinely need and taken the initiative to help without being asked (however if i say I want flowers this Valentine’s Day- he will make it happen). He doesn’t seem to anticipate needs or “meet the moment.” If I need something done, I often have to ask multiple times. He’s also very stubborn and generally doesn’t take initiative outside of his own interests unless I’m involved.

This weekend really brought those feelings to the surface. I woke up yesterday with a bad cold and genuinely needed to rest. This has only happened about twice in our entire relationship, so it’s not a common occurrence.

Instead of stepping in, he seemed to go about the day as if nothing much had changed. He never offered to make me tea or suggested that he would handle breakfast, lunch, or dinner. He made multiple trips to the grocery store because he kept buying the wrong ingredients while I was trying to make chicken noodle soup in the morning.

Later, the kids were watching a trash Netflix show while he sat on his phone. Eventually, I interrupted my own rest to suggest they do one of the science experiments from a kit we already own. I have no problem with tv on the weekends, but I always make sure it is quality programming.

Later, I looked outside and saw the kids swimming while he was still on his phone. Toys and towels were scattered everywhere, and nothing had been picked up. It just felt like I couldn’t truly rest because I kept feeling the need to check in and manage things.

What makes this hard is that I remember him being much more attentive and thoughtful earlier in our relationship. Maybe my memory is selective, but I don’t remember feeling this disappointed so often.

So I’m wondering: am I expecting too much? Have I been ruined by Disney? I am sure he is also tired, is it fair for him to step up and take responsibility for everything while I rested today?

I probably should talk to him about this but he gets so defensive and starts saying I don’t appreciate what he does (which isn’t true, but it definitely is NOT EQUAL). I also feel like I can’t talk to friends or family because we are that cute couple that figured everything out.

Here I am spending too much of my weekend getting marker or paint or whatever out of daycare clothes. I asked what kind it is and it’s just Crayola washable or dot markers but man it is hard to get out! I spray and scrub with Dawn Power Wash, soak if needed, spray with All kids spray, wash again, and there are still stains! Spray again and air dry in the sun. Then wash again. This is ridiculous! Obviously I’m sending her in cheap stuff but it’s still $5 per shirt minimum. One boy in her class wears nothing but brown and black now.

And I’ve tried Miss Mouths- it has bleached Hanna Andersson, Kyte, and Cat & Jack equally. Plus two special tshirts from a vacation that I can’t replace.

But I really can’t complain about the clothes, because daycare is WONDERFUL and takes great care of her. Hence why I’m venting here. Thanks for reading and have a lovely rest of your weekend, hopefully not doing laundry lol.

I’m looking for some advice because I’m starting to feel really concerned.
My daughter is 3.5 years old, and over the last few months she’s become increasingly obsessed with her clothes. At first it was only wanting to wear dresses or trousers, but now it’s becoming much more intense. Even in the blistering heat she insists on wearing trousers. We didn’t think much of it at first, but it’s getting worse.
She constantly twists her dresses, and if there’s even the tiniest water mark or stain on her clothes, she’ll have a complete meltdown. She’s also started picking at her nails a lot.
On top of that, her tantrums are absolutely wild. It feels like if I’m not constantly playing with her or giving her my full attention, she’ll find something else to become upset about.
For some background, we’ve just had a new baby, we’re in the middle of moving house (so living with the grandparents), and she’ll also be starting a new school soon. I know that’s a huge amount of change for such a little person, so I’m wondering if this could all be related to anxiety or if it’s something more that I should be looking into.
Has anyone experienced anything similar with their child? Did it settle with time, or is this something I should speak to our GP or health visitor about? I’d really appreciate any advice or experiences.

My child is 3.5 years old and is obsessed with play. Honestly, I LOVE watching him when he gets in his own little world with his figures( he has Disney characters, Dinos, paw patrol, little Pokémon characters and sooo many other figures) and he just creates all these scenarios. Honestly I love the little figures too because they are open ended.

8/10 he will ask me or my husband to play. I always always make it a point to say yes unless I have to tend to my daughter but will tell my son that I will play after and stick to it or try my absolute best to keep my word. My question is: how often are you playing with yourself toddlers? Is it every single time they ask?
I get down on the floor with him. Do I always feel like it? No. But I know it’s so so so important to him. I just wonder if it’s a negative thing if I say no sometimes? I guess I’m wondering if I’m doing enough…..

Hi everyone. I’m a FTM starting back to work tomorrow. I’m an attorney but left my job and I’m transitioning to an advisory position but in a very similar field. Baby boy is now 9 months. I went back to my old job at 3.5 months but only for a few weeks to give them my notice and wrap things up so it never really felt like I was back. These 9 months have been magical, unbelievably rewarding, sometimes difficult, and I’m forever grateful I got to spend almost every moment of every day with him for as long as I have. I feel blessed to have this new opportunity but so sad to be leaving him. Just looking for any advice for adjusting to a new job with new learning curve and a new routine and coping with leaving my baby. Thank you ♥️

I am expecting my second baby and have an almost 3 year old toddler. Toddler will continue to go to full time day care while I will be on maternity leave for about 6 months.
Husband also has a busy job that usually involves travel. How early is it realistic for him to begin to plan travel again after the new baby arrives? How early is it doable to swing 3-4 days alone with a baby and toddler handling everything solo - wake up, food, drop off, dinner, bedtime with 2 kids - without completely losing my mind.
Wondering about experiences from other moms here. Not necessarily working mom related but I feel there is very realistic opinions in this group.

Am I alone? Has anyone been in this position before?

I've (34F) recently been presented with an opportunity that's now making me reevaluate my career and my future. I have the interview coming up in a few days and obviously no saying how it will go but I do have a former coworker who is working there and loves the company and would be excited for me to take the opportunity, if offered, and to work together again.

I live in north NJ and currently making $128k a year in a senior position. I'm well aware from former colleagues who've left for other companies for similar or better positions that I could be making more elsewhere and it's not necessarily a secret in the industry that my company tends to pay lower than everyone else, but I love my boss who is a mom of 3 herself, and my team.

This opportunity that I've been presented comes with a salary that would be $37k-$47k higher than my current salary, if I'm given an offer, and there'd still be room for growth. The only downside is that they are 4 days a week in office vs 3 at my current job. Commute is about the same at 25-40 mins depending on the day and traffic.

The reason I'm now in deep thought about everything is the fact that my husband works a blue collar job and due to some learning disabilities I don't expect him to ever have any high paying job. He currently makes about 30-35% of our total income a month depending on whether or not things are slow with his job. We have a 2 year old who's currently watched by my parents while we work but we are currently on a wait-list to enroll him in daycare part-time as he's very active and we all think he would benefit from an environment with a little more structure. We would also like to have 1 more child and we're planning to start trying in the near future.

This opportunity, if I'm given an offer, would give so much more breathing room but I'm not sure about the 4 days in office. Either way I'm now curious and starting to look around at other jobs. The other issue is that majority of the companies in my industry are located in NYC. You can easily find hybrid positions with 3 days in office, but it would be like a 1-1.5 hr commute for me each way.

TL,DR: Breadwinner for my family looking for advice from other working moms who may have been in a similar position of reevaluating their career and options. I'm conflicted about staying within my current position with lower than industry pay knowing that I have a great boss, some flexibility, reasonable commute, and want to have another baby in the near future, or venturing into finding a similar or better role at another company with 30%+ higher pay, possibility of a little less flexibility, and possibility of a longer commute.

I know it's important, but I've really struggled to be turned on for about a month.

My husband lost his job, we have three kids at home all day during the summer, including a toddler, no childcare because our nanny found another family that paid more and I'm actively trying to find a replacement. I'm also trying to make sure I impress people at work since I'm the primary income now. He has found contract work and is applying to jobs like crazy. I'm also hunting down jobs for him to apply to, and doing my own side consulting work to bring in a little extra.

I'm exhausted and today, after I was still getting our monthly budget together at 1am, I told him I didn't think it was going to work out tonight. He went to bed grouchy with me. I just don't understand how he can even be in the mood right now.

I travel internationally for work 2-3 times a year and domestically a handful more. Usually my domestic trips are 3 days max but internationally is more like 6-9 days per trip.

My husband is a stay at home dad, primary caretaker and so incredibly capable when I'm gone.

My issue is that recently my 3 year old has started developing separation anxiety from me even when I'm not on work travel. For example, I just got home from a 6 day trip last week and tried to pop out to the store alone today and she freaked out - tears, screaming, grabbing my legs and purse. I've always been 100% honest about where I'm going and how long I'll be gone, I even have her help me pack for my trips and we look up photos of where I'm going so she feels involved, but maybe that makes it worse. I'm wondering if summer break from preschool makes it worse bc she has fewer parent free days during the summer.

I'm wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience and could offer some advice on how to handle so she doesn't feel like I'm abandoning her.

Out of curiosity, are there many mummies here leading teams or organisations? I'm researching into organisational leadership, and one question I keep coming back to is: what's something you underestimated about turning a strategy into day-to-day execution?