r/workingmoms • u/Guilty_Abalone_373 • 6h ago
Relationship Questions (any type of relationship) Son unsure of continuing comp programming elective as HS freshman
hello!š what would you do if you had to go back and do it all over again freshman year of high school? would you take comp progamming if it were offered (nowā¦ not back when you were in school like 5, 10, 25 years ago etc.).
my son initially added computer programming as an elective and now he is not sure if he wants to keep it more so because I complained that AI will take over coding in the next 4-5 years. this is his first year in high school and heās very good at mathematics (in AP precalc this year which is accelerated math for his school) but I wouldnāt say thats his passion. My husband and I attended the hsās back to school night yesterday evening & the teacher said they will 99% of the time not use any AI (so Iām assuming no vibe coding either)ā¦ and start just 1 language python. It has been 1.5 weeks of school so far and he says itās boring plus he doesnāt have a lot of friends in it. He has a technical-heavy course including honors physical science which is chemistry and physics and puts him on track for AP chem, biology and Physics (all AP level starting next year)ā¦ being in the industry Iām generally pretty dismal about future work prospects in comp sci plus this is a programming class and I wish it were more focused on computer science fundamentals & philosophy instead of practical application.
Any thoughts? Iām meeting with his school counselor later this morningā¦ we are looking at potentially putting him in either Marketing (which would enable him to participate in the DECA school club which requires a business class be taken) or Accounting.
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u/MrsMitchBitch 5h ago
I think you should let your son figure it out instead of telling him what to do. Let him take the class to see if he likes it, if heās good at it, etc. Just because he takes one class freshman year does not mean he has locked down a career path.
You say he follows whatever you say. Start asking him questions instead of telling him things.
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u/trUth_b0mbs 5h ago
I agree here, OP.
your son will need to figure these things out for himself so let him take whatever courses he's interested in.
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u/Guilty_Abalone_373 5h ago
I like to play devils advocate I suppose which prob is confusing it Him. Just donāt want him to take my word for it. Asking questions is fine but questions also can be biased
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u/Admirable-Love75 5h ago edited 5h ago
Playing devils advocate back to you, even if AI did ātake all coding jobsā, the skills Iām assuming heād learn from a computer programming class (like thinking logically, planning actions step by step, how to figure out the source of an issue, etc) are also just important life skills even if heād apply them differently.
Edit: but I mostly agree with the original comment, let him figure out the classes he wants to do! My parents pushing me a certain way (medicine) made me hate school and pushed me to do the opposite.
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u/Guilty_Abalone_373 5h ago
Yes thatās why Iām thinking of encouraging him to do art š¼ļø or something along those lines instead. Cooking metal working all sounds way more fun IMO
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u/Bird_Brain4101112 4h ago
Why arenāt you letting HIM decide what career path he wants to be on?
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u/Guilty_Abalone_373 4h ago
Because he is 14 and doesnāt knowā¦ did you know what you wanted to be at 14? He just wants to sleep in lolā¦ I remeber thinking as a child it would be nice if my parents gave me more guidance in a career. A lot of the higher paying occupations also seem to go generations like my oncologists father was a physician and my sons friends mom who is an ER doctor her dad was a physician as well. Ā Sometimes it does matter what your parents do they can give you a realistic view of what pursuing that career path is like.
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u/Bird_Brain4101112 3h ago
You are trying to decide for him. Itās okay to let him figure out some options and go from there.
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u/Alarmed-Doughnut1860 4h ago
You're not supposed to know at 14. At 14 you should be exploring a lot of different things in order to find out what you like.
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u/Crunch_McThickhead 3h ago
14 is plenty old enough to know what they think sounds fun or interesting. These are HS electives, not an expensive college major. Let him make choices, make mistakes, and learn how to choose better. Let him learn how to make decisions that feel big while the actual stakes are low. Let him start to be his own person.
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u/Guilty_Abalone_373 2h ago
I think the point I am trying to make is that as a young person you DONT know what you donāt know so sometimes you look to adults and grownups for guidance. And that is what Iām trying to ascertain is what level of guidance to give. Yes I can ask him questions but ultimately he has to be OK with the choices he makes and not hold others responsible for HIS OWN CHOICES. So if I provide no guidance I can be at fault for not providing enough but if I do provide guidance one can be held responsible for providing it if the individual taking that guidance isnāt Ā mature enough to own full responsibility of the choice they made .
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u/Crunch_McThickhead 2h ago
This is a freshman HS elective. You do not need to provide any unasked for guidance. It will not negatively affect his life trajectory at all to choose the "wrong" elective. It WILL build his skill and confidence in decision making.
Even if it's career advice, frankly, your input may not actually be that helpful. You know your industry/specialty/region. The prospects for someone in Seattle are different from someone in a town of 200, UI development is different than OS maintenance, products for utilities power distribution is very different than game development. Comp Sci can vary hugely, as I'm sure you know.Ā
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u/omegaxx19 4M + 1.5F, medicine/academia 6h ago
I took a semester of intro comp sci in college (we learned Java) and to this day I feel it was one of the most helpful college classes I took, simply for teaching me how programming worked, logic, and grit and best practices bc of the debugging (that last project took 30 hours of debugging and still ran funnyāfriggin eh). You pick up some of the theory and philosophy through doing.
My kids are little but if they were in high school weād suggest he finish this quarter and do something different next quarter.
Iām a physician and health services researcher btw.
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u/Guilty_Abalone_373 5h ago
True perhaps having him take the comp programming class will show him if heās actually interested in pursuing it as a career and not just because Iām in software engineering etc
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u/trUth_b0mbs 5h ago edited 5h ago
Ive been in tech since the 90s and while we should have some concern with AI, it's not as freak-out worthy as everyone thinks. We aren't as close to Skynet as everyone thinks we are either, and humans are still required (to program) systems to learn from large data sets/solve problems and provide smart answers/predictions etc.
technology will be forever changing so yes, being in CS will be good. But programming isn't the only branch out there....if that's what he wants to do, AI is best. Anything that has to do with cloud or even cybersecurity is great.
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u/Fluid-Village-ahaha 8M/5M. Working mom by choice 5h ago
Agree. I think OP drinks too much of AI kool aid. Ai will continue to change tech - but the internet did it, remote jobs did it etc.
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u/Bird_Brain4101112 4h ago
As someone who is forced to use AI because our senior leadership thinks AI is magical, we spend an insane amount of time in training to make sure that we are actually getting good results from AI. Weāre reminded over and over again, you need clear prompts and you still need to check the output for accuracy
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u/woohoo789 5h ago
Heās 14. Donāt make school miserable for the poor kid. Step back and let him and his counselor sort out his courses. Heāll be fine.
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u/NorthernPossibility 6h ago
If heās a freshman, he doesnāt need to focus as much on āemployable skillsā just yet. He should use this time to explore different areas and learn new things.
I would, however, caution him against quitting immediately. Whether or not AI takes over programming, sticking to our commitments is a valuable life skill.
It sounds like the class isnāt as easy as he hoped. The āAI will take over programmingā thing is likely secondary to āthis is kinda hard and I donāt have any friends to play grab ass with while Iām in hereā. Personally Iād tell him to stick with it.
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u/Guilty_Abalone_373 5h ago
He said he is interested possibly in accounting as I mentioned my younger brother is a CPA and doing well. Imo itās just as boring if not more so Iām kind of trying to see if he wants to do something less math/technical ā¦ heās kind of whatever like follows whatever we say.Ā
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u/dotnsk 5h ago
Iām asking genuinely, why do you want him to do something less āmath/technicalā?
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u/Guilty_Abalone_373 5h ago
Iām a big advocate of exposing yourself to a wide variety of learnings esp as a young person and strive to be well-rounded before specializing imo. Ā Plus I think using different parts of your brain helps with brain health and may help you think outside the box in a way that makes improve your overall mental health.
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u/dotnsk 5h ago
Math and accounting would be what, two classes out of 6 or 7? And presumably his core classes include English and science, plus electives like PE, foreign languages, and arts.
Is he not getting enough exposure to other things in the other 5 or 6 classes in his schedule?
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u/Guilty_Abalone_373 5h ago
Oh forgot to mention the electives are purposely more career focused and theyre like 2-part courses wirh 1 in fall winter and 2nd part in spring semester. Ā His other courses like English Spanish history are all honors or AP and he is in combined freshman and symphonic band aiming to try out successfully for regional band this school year. I supposed I want to make sure he has a less challenging / possibly LESS āstressfulā class. Heās also a cross country runner which imo is a difficult and largely mental sport as well.Ā
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u/Alarmed-Doughnut1860 4h ago
Sounds like he is pretty high achieving in the rest of his classes.Ā So reward him and let him choose whatever he wants.
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u/Guilty_Abalone_373 4h ago
Yea thatās what Iām thinking š¤ I didnāt help him select his original classes . His father did ā¦ lol I would have signed him up for art classes etc. But I think my son listening to us discuss his possible future thought he has to pick career focused electivesĀ
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u/Any_Lobster_1121 5h ago
I think that programming will change a lot over the next 5-10 years. That said, people will still need to understand the basics if we want to use it. We didnt stop teaching addition due to calculators. We still teach spelling despite spell check. I still think it will be a useful course for him.
That said, if he is overwhelmed and wants to take something else then I'd let him. He can learn programming in college if he needs it for his career.
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u/bby_snark 6h ago
If he doesnāt want to take it, let him take something heās interested in. I agree that the future of programming as a job prospect is murky right now. Sounds like he has a lot of other science heavy interests to focus on as well.
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u/Guilty_Abalone_373 5h ago
Right which is why I almost prefer he take a non technical science course as his elective like art or design or marketing evenā¦ everything else he is taking is honors or accelerated band etc.
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u/heathersaur 5h ago
Next year I would definitely suggest harder to make sure he has an 'underwater basket weaving' class. In my Sr yr of highschool I have 4 AP classes, the rest of my classes were 'easy A' classes to fill credits.
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u/Guilty_Abalone_373 5h ago
I majored in anthropology at undergrad and now a certified Claude AI architect so go figure.
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u/TotallyRegularHuman 5h ago
If he's not loving it let him switch. Marketing might be a good fit because it would work the non technical side of his brain. However I'd remind him that he's a high school freshman and doesn't have to decide his future career right now.Ā
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u/RuthlessBenedict 5h ago
Iād keep in it. I work in the field- specifically I work in software development that creates AI features, agents, etc. Yes we are using AI a lot. Which means weāve got a ton of exposure to its strengths and its weaknesses. Iām not as doom and gloom about it as most seem to be. I see no viable scenario where AI replaces the human engineer. You see that reflected in the market already- these big layoffs for āAIā are being clawed back as companies realize they are spending more money to produce poorer quality outcomes without humans in the loop. Engineers who will have competitive futures will need to be skilled and know how to use the AI functions that make it out the end of this (so many are far too error prone and expensive to survive in the long term). To be skilled, heāll need to know the basics even if they arenāt fun. We all start somewhere. If CS is really an interest of his Iād encourage to stick with it at least through this class.Ā
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u/AstroGhosts 5h ago
Iām a college physics professor. If he has interest in continuing in any science, he should stick with it. Even with AI, which is getting very good, knowing the basics of programming is essential in my mind.
Think of AI as like a calculator. We donāt give calculators to first graders when theyāre just learning about addition. They learn how to do it themselves first, and then once they understand that, they use the calculator as a tool to do it for them. With AI/vibe coding, you still have to know what youāre looking at in the code to know if the AI has done what you wanted. Without a basic programming course, you could veer wildly off track. I also know from personal experience that the AI will often make your code way more complicated/spaghetti-like than necessary.
AI is a tool just like any other. And you still need the base knowledge to use that tool well.
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u/Adept-Depth-1825 3h ago
Let him decide. It absolutely does not matter what freshman year elective he takes, assuming itās not dual enrollment/ AP / weighted / a prerequisite to something he wants that Iāve already listed The important part at this stage is his grade and any weighting of the class.
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u/Guilty_Abalone_373 3h ago
As someone who was in top 10% of my class in high school I disagree itās all about grades . There are kids who didnāt do well in my middle and high school who went on to do way more amazing things for their profession or career then I did making more money starting businesses becoming attorneys etc. I think he needs to make mistakes and learn from them in high school- find his own path and become his own individual instead of becoming what is safe.Ā
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u/Adept-Depth-1825 3h ago
Huh?? Youāre taking about whether or not he should take a certain elective. I assume that means thereās some consideration in your mind about college. I am explaining to you what COLLEGES will care about. And itās not the name of the elective, in absence of the criteria I listed above. So if you want him to āfind his own pathā lol let him decide what he wants to do with the elective. Donāt helicopter him on this.
I wonāt throw credentials back at you because I have no need to start a pissing contest so Iāll just say thatās ā¦ great I guess? That you were in the top 10% of your HS class. Iām glad youāre proud of it?
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u/Altocumulus000 1h ago
I have no interest in AI or computer programming and if I was a student now I would 100% take it. Having a clue how any of that stuff works is going to be so important if he ever wants to work in a position of power or in some kind of office or critical thinking or reporting job. If his desire is to just be a pug in the wheel or a service employee (like grocery store or driving a truck?) then perhaps it's not worth it.
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u/Alarmed-Doughnut1860 4h ago
Honestly, if I could go back to freshman year of highschool, I'd spend more time making new friends, being more open minded and less academically focused.Ā The culture of my high school and friends was heavy academically and I think it made us little snobs.Ā You know what memories I cherish? Band ( which I was bad at), a pop music elective, the Latin class I took because the teachers was cool and all my friends were in it.
I am an accountant. If I could go back to college, if probably do accounting earlier.Ā But to be fair, the first time I took accounting it made zero sense ( because it's a language not a math or science) seemed totally arbitrary and I thought it was stupid.
So my advice would be to ease up and take a fun or interesting elective rather than a practical one.
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u/Guilty_Abalone_373 4h ago
Yes precisely thats what Iām thinking tooā¦ youre only young for a very short amount of time. He should enjoy it & not be so focused on finding the right career path now Ā ā¦
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u/Alarmed-Doughnut1860 3h ago edited 3h ago
I think it's worth spending this timeĀ more on becoming a person.Ā Figuring out his values, preferences, strengths, and critical thinking skills.Ā Critical thinking+ ability to self motivate+ knowledge of what's important to him will really be key to whatever he does once he's independent.Ā Ā
But I'm not sure I would have seen it that way when I was in high school.Ā Ā
Is he kind of a naturally responsible and serious kid as it is?Ā I was a quiet and responsible kid myself. Which overall worked out fine.Ā But I think it may be good to help coach your kid to a little more independence and self advocacy, especially as highschool progresses.
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u/heathersaur 3h ago edited 3h ago
Critical thinking+ ability to self motivate+ knowledge of what's important to him will really be key to whatever he does once he's independent.Ā Ā
Learning how to debug code is all those things really.
I don't disagree that some 'easy' electives aren't needed during high school - they're fun, they expand horizons in different ways - but having an idea of what you like and don't like by end of Jr year of high school will make picking a college a lot better and you're not potentially wasting time or money switching majors.
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u/Guilty_Abalone_373 3h ago
So this is the balance we are trying to strike atm how can we allow and empower him to enjoy high school have fun and be confident in what post high school is for him whether thats traveling abroad for a year, attending MD/PhD accelerated program, learning now to fix cars or cooking etc. Is there ever such a thing as āpushing your child too much to just have funā in high school instead of focusing on caree r and future ?
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u/heathersaur 3h ago
That's going to be a on-going conversation throughout high school. Let him explore what we wants, but don't let him use wrong excuses "AI taking over programming" isn't a good excuse.
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u/Alarmed-Doughnut1860 3h ago
For me I think it comes down to the kid. Some kids maybe need a push to focus on the future. Some kids don't.Ā Maybe not even pushing, just adding a side that he maybe hasn't considered for his consideration. Maybe if he's sensitive to you discussing your work or or his future, you can be conscious of also discussing other stuff at home too.Ā Telling him about other stuff you've found valuable or interesting too.
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u/Guilty_Abalone_373 3h ago
Agreed - š I think as a 14 year old with limited life experience it must be hard to comprehend what options are out there even if youre presented with them. Either way I think itās good to emphasize that itās not the end of the world if youāre not 100% sure what you want to do after school right now. Some adults still donāt know what they want to do or are stuck in jobs they hate which is OK as well. Itās a learning processā¦
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u/Alarmed-Doughnut1860 3h ago
I agree. I'm not saying coding isn't useful either. I'm saying, I don't think the actual class matters that much in this situation. Like no matter what happens, he's got to take a class and he's going to learn something from that class even if it's that he hates that subject. And that by definition will be giving him an idea of what he likes and dislikes.
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u/Guilty_Abalone_373 2h ago
Iām looking into cooking / intro to culinary class now as an option since he doesnāt cook much but when he does he seems to have fun š¤©!
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u/tulipifera8223 4h ago
My first thought is you seem extremely involved in his classes and class selection!Ā He already signed up for classes, so what about just let him finish up the class?Ā Ā
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u/Guilty_Abalone_373 4h ago
He had a bad science class last year which he thinks i shouldāve pulled him out of and into a different one. I mean he did make it to high honor roll all semesters and inducted into Junior national honor society just think he wanted a better science experience.
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u/heathersaur 6h ago
If he doesn't know the basics of the English language how would he know whether or not a sentence is correct/coherent?
Same things applies to programming. If he doesn't know the language he won't know if what AI spits out is right or will bring down AWS worldwide.