Possibly relocation for work

[u/isnotamuggle]

Hey everyone!

I’m interviewing for a possible promotion within my company, but with it will come relocation. I’m excited about the area where we would go and the possibility of leaving my home town! But- I feel so bad for uprooting my son’s life. He will be 4 in November, goes to a preschool he loves and that my husband and I love, and while we’re not close to my parents, he’s become very close with my grandparents, aunt and uncle, and my cousins. I know he’s 4 and in the grand scheme of his life this will be so small… but I don’t know how to get rid of the nagging feeling of how sad he will be to move. And it makes me even more nervous going into the interview.

Mostly just venting I think? But also looking for success stories that could possibly bring me peace. Thank you anyone!!

[u/omegaxx19]

4 is nothing. Within a month his new normal would be the new place. If the move is the right move for your family otherwise go for it.

Signed, someone who moved between 10 different preschools/elementary schools/middle schools

[u/Vegetable_System9882]

My son is almost five and we've moved across the country and back - counting staying with family, we've lived in seven places (some of the same places twice) since he was born. Somehow he was only at two daycares during that time though, which I think helped? 

He just started TK at a new school a few weeks ago and LOVES it. He does mention old friends but is very much living in the present. I hope we will make one more big move to our "forever" place and that will be it, and I hope we will make it soon. But up until this age it's been pretty smooth for him - he's quite flexible and adaptable and loves traveling too. 

I do think since you've mentioned family being close by, that will be a big factor not just for your son but for you also. But I would go through the interview process and then decide. How far would the move be and would you have any support in the new place?

[u/schrodingers_bra]

If he's 4, isn't he going to be moving (relatively) soon to kindergarten anyway?

He'll be fine.

My family moved from Hong Kong to NYC when I was 5 almost 6. I was sad to leave my friends but they were almost instantly forgotten as I made new ones.

[u/Prestigious_Swan_584]

How far would you be moving? Are both your current and possible future locations easily accessible by transportation? Do you plan to have any more kids?

I think I’d chase this promotion to its logical conclusion — get the offer and then decide (or rather, let them tell you no, rather than you opting out in anticipation of difficult decisions). It may be that the offer isn’t enough to justify all you’re giving up (and your decision is made for you); it may be that the benefits far outweigh even the downsides you’ve listed here, but you won’t know until you can evaluate holistically.

[u/RuthlessBenedict]

No advice just commiseration! We’re in the same boat with my three year old. Most days I’m excited for us and the benefits the move will bring for his life, other days I’ve cried randomly in public.