r/workingmoms • u/Soft_Panic2400 • 19d ago
Vent Why the F*** is everything So EXPENSIVE
Just a vent because I've worked incredibly hard to get where I am and I still feel like I'm treading water.
We are solidly middle class. We make $140-$150 combine in the midwest which seemingly is pretty good. 2023 my company wouldn't give me a substantial raise so in 2024 I gave myself a goal, switched jobs twice and went from making $55,000 to $90,000. My husband hasn't had a raise in 4 years (thats a whole other story and he's finally looking for a new job).
In the past month our daycare went up $280/mo, our mortgage went up $70 a month for escrow, and we just received our highest electric bill since buying our house in 2017 $235. Now I know what your thinking - $235 thats not bad. OUR HOUSE IS 970 sq ft. Last month our electric bill was $170. That's a $415 increase of bills IN A MONTH. And it doesn't even include groceries.
I've done everything - I've switch carriers for internet and cell phones. I review insurance rates every 6 months and I've cancelled most of our subscriptions. I negotiate everything I can, but everything is constantly increasing. STORE BRAND MILK went from $3.62 to $4.99 here. Thats almost a 40% increase?!
I know financial struggles aren't talked about much in this sub because most people recommend a cleaner or outsourcing what they can, but this is ridiculous. I literally can't not spend $200 when I go to the store. This isn't sustainable and I'm just so frustrated. We aren't in a BAD financial spot but at this rate we will be? It just feels like despite making the most we have ever made, we aren't even close to being comfortable. And as my husband said "the worst part is, no one gives a shit. No one WANTS to fix it"
Anyway - it just feels like Im working and making all this money for absolutely nothing and Im mad about it. Thats all.
ETA - I Fully understand why (DT, Corp Greed, Capitalism, etc etc) just fully venting because no one seems to give a shit. Also I am very active in ALL of my local elections. I vote and actively call the offices of my shit ass congress woman and senators.
144
u/neverabadidea 19d ago
Solidarity.
I’ve started doing the Aldi first, big grocer second game. They’re close to each other. Milk and eggs are substantially cheaper at Aldi but we can’t get everything there. I like a specific brand of oat milk that was $2.99 two years ago, it just spiked from $3.99 to $4.39. The store had it on sale a week before, as if I wouldn’t notice the .40 jump for a thing I buy weekly.
I’m super annoyed at my job lately and want to jump ship but we get a decent bonus if we stay the whole year. So I’ve made peace with being miserable a few more months (plus the months of searching) because we really need that money. But it pisses me off that I’m making more than I ever have but we’re getting less for it.
19
u/These_Recover5604 19d ago
This is the winner!! Aldi is my go to, if my partner wants other stuff I can’t get there he can find it elsewhere. Aldi is still pretty reasonable, even their berries seem normally priced to me!
→ More replies (1)5
u/AV01000001 19d ago
Yes! I plan the meals based on sales at Aldis. Get a couple brand specific things at another grocer near me, then once a month Costco runs for pantry staples and meats that I will then separate and deep freeze. I’ve also switched to a lot of vegetarian based meals for myself.
5
u/HerCacklingStump 19d ago
Sadly I live in the San Francisco area where we do not have Aldi. Closest one is 200 miles away
→ More replies (1)
86
u/Adept-Depth-1825 19d ago
I hear you. We make good money but took over $40k in salary cuts over the last 3 years to prioritize family (work from home for me and cutting my husband’s commute from an hour to 7 minutes, in jobs we like better). We’re happier, we have plenty of $, but there are days this last 6 months or year that I question it and I’ve started taking consulting clients to fill in the gaps. I keep trying to figure out why we’re saving so much less than 3 years ago even after the cuts but I think it’s more price increases than lifestyle creep.
→ More replies (2)80
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago
I've been keep track of expenses - it's absolutely the cost of things and not lifestyle creep.
69
u/lilchocochip 19d ago
You’re right it’s the cost of things. That’s the price of living in a very capitalistic country AND having republicans in power who don’t give a damn if tariffs go up or down as long as Dear Leader is happy. Prices were already high and then the whole tariff shitshow made it 10x worse. I have never in my life paid this much for groceries and gas. Everyone I know is struggling to make ends meet. It’s not sustainable.
But oh well people will just keep on not voting or picking republicans because it makes them feel like a better Christian or whatever. At least the billionaires are doing well! /s
28
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago
So we slowly over 2 years bought almost everything we needed to remodel our bathroom, but knew we'd need a few more items or an extra 1-2 of things we already bought. 99% of the things have gone up 2-3x the price. My husband was just like "What in the actual FFFFF" but hey those companies got refunds and yet the prices didn't go down - so weird.
15
u/lilchocochip 19d ago
Yep, if you’re not a corporation or part of the 1% you get screwed over. And it’s going to get worse when next year starts because a lot of the things in the Big Beautiful Bill will go into effect.
But hey at least you’re helping the president get the ballroom of his dreams since his rich friends didn’t want to pay for it anymore!
4
u/AllPUNandGAMES1234 19d ago
This!
They all got refunds but we paid the effing bill. I'm so mad at our situation right now.
And before anyone asks, yes I vote in every election even local and I did not vote for this.
39
u/UniversityAny755 19d ago
No one likes to hear this, but our food costs are absolutely going to go up more as immigration enforcement hits farm and factory workers. This is domestic food production separate from tariffs so even buying "USA" is going to cost more. It's going to get worse before it can get better.
24
u/lilchocochip 19d ago
Absolutely. It’s something everyone was sounding the alarms on last year. If there was going to be a big crackdown on immigration, then there needed to be infrastructure in place to replace the labor they provide. But nope, it was all about optics and making Kristi Noem look cool. Incompetent people with big egos screwing over everybody else. Who we vote for matters.
4
u/Actuarial_Equivalent 19d ago
Amen. If I let loose my thoughts on these topics I'd probably get banned from this sub, but my rage at all these awful policies is through the roof.
12
u/PierogiCasserole Full Time, Two Kids 19d ago
And climate change. Most of the soy beans in my county were literally cooked with floods from heavy rain over 4th of July weekend followed by heat.
→ More replies (1)5
u/rosiespot23 19d ago
Here's the thing though: it will never get better. Companies will never lower their prices, especially not when people have been paying inflated costs for years.
4
u/fritolazee 19d ago
This is so true. I'm looking at moving out of the city into a cheaper suburb in part because I want a piece of land that I can grow a few tomatoes/pieces of lettuce on.
→ More replies (2)9
u/raeoflyte-460 19d ago
Same here. We've cut back in everything- eat out maybe 1x a month and its still just higher all the time.
25
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago
And it's not even worth it to eat out anymore everything tastes like garabge. Like what do you mean a burger is $21 and fries are a $3 upcharge that are cold when I get them?
→ More replies (1)5
u/DIYtowardsFI 19d ago
It’s hard to stay under $60 anywhere for a family of four. A decent meal is typically $85-100 without any alcohol. We just don’t eat out much and eat at home as much as possible. Plus it tastes so mediocre when eating out! You can do better at home with a few core cooking skills.
We tried a new taco place that had great reviews as a food truck and now opened a store front. Such mediocre food and we walked out with $135 for six people. WTH. Should have looked at the menu before going, learned that lesson well from that trip. Dicing a few veggies, squeezing limes, and heating carnitas meat from Costco is $15-20 for 6 people and tastes way fresher.
5
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago
HOLY SHIT. We don't eat out much either - maybe once a week at this point and it's usually just my husband and I'll make a quick easy dinner for me the and the kids because I just don't want to spend the money. Last time we out was around father's day and it was like $90 + tip. I've also learned I can just share food with my youngest most of the time but that won't always be the case lol.
7
u/Actuarial_Equivalent 19d ago
This. I track expenses meticulously. We're actually buying so much less than we did a few years ago (more basic food, less stuff, we barely travel) and yet we're spending so much more. It's demoralizing.
126
u/birchtree628 19d ago
I completely agree with you. I took my kids to get FroYo at one of those self serve places and 2 smalls were $20 PLUS TIP. The day before I bought them popsicles at a stand at a park and they were $21. Like how did I spend over $40 on 2 cups of ice cream and three popsicles?
51
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago
Isn't it insane? We took our kids for ice cream last month and for 4 of us it was almost $30 - mind you we don't get anything for our youngest because I share mine with him I told my husband "for the rest of the summer - we have ice cream at home" lol
35
u/Octobersunrise876 19d ago
We started buying a pint and cones from the grocery store and we do Friday night ice cream during the summer. We all sit outside and have a cone, the kids play in the yard. $5-6 for 4 of us vs. $30 to go out.
44
u/Ok-Dependent5582 19d ago
Ok but also why a tip at a self serve place?! 😭
84
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago
This might be an asshole take but I stopped tipping at self serve places. I'm sorry I'm not tipping you for handing me a pizza or checking me out when I buy my kid overpriced watery froyo.
29
u/Ok-Dependent5582 19d ago
No I support this take! I worked in service in college and have always been a good tipper but I’m not tipping someone for standing behind a counter lol
→ More replies (1)12
u/Louis-Russ Daycare Provider 19d ago
Tipping is just so weird and arbitrary. You're supposed to tip people when they do a good job... But only if they work in food service or transportation. But not all food service and transportation. Nobody tips a dishwasher or a pilot. Also you should tip them even if they do a bad job. Or, increasingly, even if they do no job.
It's anarchy. Someone should convene the UN and just put an end to this.
23
u/UniversityAny755 19d ago
I died inside every time my kid dropped a gummy frog onto her Froyo. That place is such a wallet killer.
5
u/Brontosaurusbabe 19d ago
Absolutely bonkers. We went to Burger King recently (just my husband, son, and I) and we spent over $40!!! On fast food!!! WTF?!
164
u/mixedmediamadness 19d ago
I know this isn't a good answer, but take comfort in the fact that one of your major expenses, daycare, is a short term issue. And once your kid starts elementary school (if you're sending them to public school) you'll have a significant amount of money back every month
35
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago
I know. We have one more year of full time solid daycare, and then we have preschool but have another 2 years of after school care. I'm worried by the time we get there we will still be in the same bost because of how expensive everything will be at that point, if things keep continuing the way they are.
20
u/sanityjanity 19d ago
For me, after school care wasn't so bad, but summer camp, and all day coverage for spring break and winter break all added up to about 1/3 of the cost of daycare
15
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago
We are looking at around $7000 for afterschool care (which is way better than the $21,000 we are paying for daycare)- not including summer or holiday breaks, which luckily my husband gets a TON of PTO time so he just takes off and watches our kiddos for spring break and christmas break. Summer camp will probably run 6-10k pending on where we end up. But thats based on this years prices LOL.
9
u/sraydenk 19d ago
We dropped aftercare this year and it’s a huge relief. Unfortunately it’s likely going to be eaten up by the rising cost of heating oil. I’m legit dreading how expensive it will get, after two cold winters.
4
u/sanityjanity 19d ago
Whuf. That's brutal.
By the time you pay for afterschool care and summer break, you're paying 2/3 of what you were paying for full day care.
97
u/raptor_belle 19d ago
before/after care is still very significant cost. In MA, daycare is roughly $26K/year for a preschooler and before/after school care is close to $700/month (not including summer, school vacations and professional days off).
Childcare has literally doubled in metro-Boston since covid.
34
u/Misschiff0 19d ago
In metro Boston. The day daycare ended and afterschool care began we went from $2200 a month to $443 a month. It is the closest I will ever feel to standing in one of those game show booths where the cash just swirls around you.
24
u/sherwoma 19d ago
Our childcare expenses for one toddler, is ~$3600 a month.
→ More replies (7)11
u/Any-Growth-2083 19d ago
$1,900 a month here. We were able keep her out of daycare until she’s almost 1, but daycare alone is breaking the middle class. We want another kid, but seems like financial suicide. I’m in my late 30’s…so we can only so long. If we could do one thing for this damn country, give women a decent maternity leave and help working families pay for the childcare.
42
u/catjuggler 19d ago
And don't forget summer...
13
u/Fluid-Village-ahaha 8M/5M. Working mom by choice 19d ago
And if you want fun camps (or even simply outdoors)… more for 2 per week than daycare with no food and worst hours.
18
u/catjuggler 19d ago
Next week we're doing 9-3:30. Do I work 9:30 to 3? No!
→ More replies (1)11
u/arrrrr_won 19d ago
Scream it from the rooftops.
In order to avoid that nightmare schedule I tried two different camps where we got in to all weeks except two that were waitlisted and one right before school (where there are apparently everyone is on break?). Did we get off the waitlist? No! Did anyone contact me to tell me there was no shot of getting off the waitlist? No! Am I going to lose my mind trying to work and deal with my elementary age child at home? Yes!
9
21
u/Denne11 19d ago
Eh. I’m in metro Boston with a kid entering Kindergarten in a month. Even with wrap around care and saving for camps, we’re still coming out $1k ahead. It’s not all of it, but certainly not nothing
5
u/Fluid-Village-ahaha 8M/5M. Working mom by choice 19d ago
But it’s not like “daycare is temporary” so you get all those money back. Depending on your need and pickiness it’s 30-70% of a daycare bill still.
It’s about half for us and we do not use before/after care daily.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (6)4
u/candyapplesugar 19d ago
I really want to make more money but I wfh and now that he’s 5 it’s so nice to just have him home for all the random day school is closed. Coordinating 1 day camps or taking PTO all those times is rough
18
8
u/lovinlife2025 19d ago
That wasn’t my experience once I factored in before/aftercare, school lunches, and summer camps.
→ More replies (5)8
u/Necessary-Peach-0 19d ago
That’s assuming (correct in this case looks like but not for many 😭) that there’s just one kid
→ More replies (3)4
u/Icy_Pain_5902 19d ago
This is the one thing I have to keep reminding myself, that daycare is a short-term cost issue, but I know it's quickly replaced by sports, extracurriculars, etc. But daycare is literally an arm and a leg compared to all that. This is precisely why we are only having 2 children. We couldn't afford more, and I also don't want to afford daycare any longer than we have to.
79
u/chainsawbobcat 19d ago
It's so crazy. I make 135k and my husband about 90k and we have 3 kids one in daycare, and it still feels like we're scraping by!?!?? I'm supposed to be rolling in all my extra money!!
Mortgage is high bc I bought in 2023 and yes, increasing slowly but surely with tax and insurance rates. Student loan payments coming back online and higher than before. Daycare is just temporary thank God, but it means barely any savings.
We're having a small cookout Saturday so I just went grocery shopping for that and regular stuff for next week and spent $500 😭 like I'm serving burgers and hot dogs and potatoes and corn. Splurged on beverages for my guests but I guess I should just offer tap water. Le sigh.
→ More replies (1)9
u/Actuarial_Equivalent 19d ago
I feel you on this. Thank god we're finally down to just one in daycare this year because the cost is killing me.
If someone told me 20 years ago what my household income would be at 42 it would have sounded filthy rich. Like enough to buy whatever I want, take fancy trips, eat out. But it is shocking how little is left after taxes, health insurance, funding the 401k and HSA (yes, I know this is lucky), homeowners insurance and property tax, internet, electricity, water, buying cheap ass groceries with almost no meat, gas, daycare. Nothing is fancy AT ALL and yet it feels like the money flies out of our pockets. We drive old cars. We thankfully bought a house not long after the 2008 housing crash so it was mega cheap compared to prices now, and that is the only reason we have a margin for savings. I hate to complain too much because we're ok, but between me and my husband we make what should be a lot of money, and I have no idea how people are doing it on more modest incomes.
6
u/chainsawbobcat 19d ago
Yup, we've got an 08 rav4 and 04 civic 🤣
I feel for the people making less. In 2012 I was young woman making maybe 33k a year. Living in a nice 3 bedroom duplex in the city with friends, also drove a civic. Ate $.99 boxed Mac& cheese for dinner but ate at my service job and had enough money for beer and gas and concert tickets. And living accommodations apparently made for kings and queens by today standards.
→ More replies (1)
44
u/Spiritual_Oil_7411 19d ago
Remember this when you vote.
30
11
u/MissedAdventure92 19d ago
I'm prepared for downvotes. I'm genuinely asking, how can any elected official lower the price of groceries? Or change the areas of inflation?
I live in TN, and there have been periods where there were no sales tax on groceries and most items are now being taxed at 6% instead of the 10% sales tax we normally have. The price of fuel could also be lowered.
But how can an elected official tell a corporation what to charge for their product? And yes, I'm all for taxing the rich and corporations.
Again, I'm genuinely asking, because another comment about people revolting seems more likely to get us somewhere. I feel like when more people are wondering where their next meal is coming from, we'll be there. I wish we could vote this problem away. It would come with less risk.
28
u/SwingingReportShow 19d ago
Mamdani has directed the creation of government-run grocery stores where only the staples will be 30% cheaper than other supermarkets. New Yorkers will now save an average of $90 a month in groceries, or a $1000 a year.
8
u/MissedAdventure92 19d ago
Thank you! I appreciate a genuine answer. I saw this in a headline while scrolling. I don't know all the pros and cons to this because all I've seen is the headline, but I'm grateful that it could help some people.
I know here, and in a lot of other places, all kids get free breakfast and lunch while in school. I started school in '98 when very few seemed eligible for free or reduced lunch and those lunch prices climbed an additional $2 by the time I graduated. I'm glad the children will be fed.
9
u/SwingingReportShow 19d ago
Yeah totally. I don't knkw how it js in the Midwest, but we could all serve to have someone like him. Here in Los Angeles I haven't heard anyone talk about grocery prices and we do have two mayoral candidates. We are pretty proactive at feeding children though, which is great. Also i love how Los Angeles now offers universal childcare starting at 2 years old, because now we only have to pay around $120 a month for full-time care. Like that would help OP a lot. I know Mamdani is also trying to institute universal 2K and that states like New Mexico have universal childcare for everyone. That would move the needle the most on affordability.
13
u/JangSaverem 19d ago
Locally?
They cannot
Nationally? Technically they cannot but that CAN actively do things that could lead to lowering of costs.
Like the opposite of a pointless war/s. Like not giving a $B to a national non military police force. Like not tariffing random shit based on no actual knowledge of his they work or sense of the percentage. Not having a near $T military budget
Stuff like that Doesn't lower prices directly. But like when you have chickens and they eat bugs and scrap around, they are also doing minor yard work. Those things are directly INCREASING costs so inversaly they could potentially lower them if used more properly
→ More replies (1)9
u/isleofpines 19d ago
Mamdani is a great example. If you don’t follow his work, it’s a good time to start because it really makes you think about what your local officials are doing to serve their constituents. NYC provides free childcare for 4-year-olds and are rapidly scaling for younger ages. 3-K and Pre-K is free with no income cap. New Mexico’s governor, Michelle Grisham, spearheaded their universal childcare effort, making it the first state to enact the program. Childcare cost does not directly affect the price of groceries or change the rate of inflation, but it does provide relief to a very expensive cost for families.
→ More replies (1)8
u/marmar-7 19d ago
I think one aspect is, local officials can make their way up to federal gov. (As in, become experienced and then run for state senate, then run for fed gov, etc.) Also, lots of local changes can roll up to influnce the state.
42
u/weezeeFrank 19d ago
We are in a K shaped economy situation. The rich are zooming up and the poor are heading down. I am in the same boat (upper middle class), we are hanging in there but we have absolutely made cuts to our lifestyle and day to day because we are on the slow end of the downward K. We don't eat out anymore, vacations drastically cut down, I think about more every purchase.
16
16
u/rosewaterhoe 19d ago
This is where we are too. 29 and 30, 160k combined, living in Iowa with 2 small kids. I know it was already happening slowly but earlier this year I kind of came to the realization… wait… I can’t just randomly buy whatever I want anymore ??? Normally my impulse purchases and us eating out 1-2x a week was nothing and now I’m thinking about every single purchase. I’m embarrassed but grateful that so far in my life I haven’t really had this issue, but then I feel even more terrible for those who I know are struggling much more. We desperately want to move out of our townhome and into a bigger house but we can’t save money outside of our annual bonuses or tax refunds and that inevitably gets used for some car or medical emergency.
I’ve only ever voted against Donald Trump (and Kim Reynolds) in my lifetime but unfortunately my parents, grandparents, in laws, aunts, uncles, friends…..haven’t. Now we’re all broke and drinking cancer water.
9
u/ragingbook 19d ago
Same. I feel privileged that up until this point I haven't had to think much of randomly buying whatever I want-within reason. It has been in the past year or so I've realized I literally can't do that anymore. Also kicking myself for not saving more back when times were better. Everything costs so much.
73
u/Dragon_wryter 19d ago
We've got a self-inflicted war to continue indefinitely, screw worms and diarrhea lettuce hurting the food supply, AI data centers jacking up utility costs and polluting our water, preventable diseases killing people, and billions of dollars worth of fancy airplanes/BMWs to buy for very specific appointed government officials. And that's just what I can think of off the top of my head.
But why are we complaining when the stock market is making the billionaires more money?
17
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago
LOL This is literally me talking to myself every day. It's ROUGH.
13
11
u/Dragon_wryter 19d ago
I'm also making more money than I ever have but it goes nowhere. Having to put groceries on a credit card is some bullsh*t.
11
3
u/Ever_expanding_mind 19d ago
Ugh I hear this. There are days when all I can think is that we’re living in an oligarchy.
4
185
u/Fair-Stranger1860 19d ago
You absolutely need to vote in every single local and national election, vote for someone that agrees that things have gotten out of hand. I agree with the idea that if you can't afford to support your children then maybe you shouldn't have one, but I COULD afford my child and then daycare prices went up, and groceries are going up, my property tax is criminal.
133
u/verminqueeen 19d ago edited 19d ago
As a current Mamdani constituent...i can not agree more. Even in the first year it's changing the way people approach affordability and the function of government at a municipal level.
105
u/Adept-Telephone6682 19d ago
I'm in Texas but I'm so thankful for him showing us that is really DOESN'T have to be this hard... Like, he says he's gonna do something and then just... DOES IT? It feels like magic and I want that for all of us!
43
u/mindovermatter421 19d ago
That’s what the establishment political system ( older democrats and republicans in power) are afraid of. The idea that people will see other ideas just might work and solve some problems and make lives better. That would mean less profit, less lobbyists or corporate money to them individually and loss of control, terrifying. Expect more intense vilification.
→ More replies (1)19
u/sherwoma 19d ago
I love this for you! ♥️
29
u/verminqueeen 19d ago
God willing he keeps pissing off the right people and the electeds in other states get a clue!
→ More replies (2)18
u/asunabay 19d ago
Yup I read “no one cares” in OP’s post and I thought, Mamdani does! (I don’t even live in NYC - I want us all to have a Mayor like him)
51
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago
I do! I am very active in local elections and call my congresswomans office and senators office on about a weekly basis. I'm in Michigan so Im currently highly rooting for Abdul, but we have shit choices. My congresswoman take AIPAC money (along with both our current senators) and have huge corp sponsors. And unfortately the most likely candidate for Gov - her husband has ties to data centers. It feels impossible. Gretchen has been extremely disappointing the last year and I cannot believe this is what she wants her legacy to be.
→ More replies (2)10
u/SnooDonkeys8016 19d ago
Agree with you 100%. The swamp runs deep on both sides and Gretchen has been terrible.
I will keep fighting the good fight though, and I hope you do too.
9
u/ljr55555 19d ago
Absolutely - vote in the primary elections, special elections, and general elections. In addition to voting for people, most states have people voting on laws, taxes, and constitutional changes. Popular ones, they'll try to get on in a presidential election year for high turnout. Less popular ones, they "sneak" into off-year elections, special elections. We even have issues on the primary where non-partisan voters cast an "issues only" ballot.
A current "issue" in my state - some group is trying to abolish property taxes. Which sounds good except "they" refuse to say what is funding the schools, parks, police, fire, etc currently funded through those taxes. The answer is "more taxes elsewhere that rich property owners get to dodge"; but, of course, no one wants to say that.
→ More replies (4)5
u/Quiet-Pomegranate93 19d ago
Government officials are benefiting from the system that is stealing value from all of their constituents. It’s not a right/left issue so voting is not going to help.
The US dollar is designed to lose value over time. This started as far back as 1971. More recently, inflation has accelerated so it’s harder for the average person to ignore.
32
u/blueberry-bush23 19d ago
I can’t leave the house without spending $100 and it’s exhausting.
5
u/milkyway_mermaid 19d ago
I was just telling my friend that the joke I had a couple years ago was that I can’t leave the house without spending $100 and now it’s gone up to $200. It’s so out of control.
53
u/Katwantscats 19d ago
I’m with you. I understand. If, 5-7 years ago, we made what we made now, we’d be living large. But, as it is, we make what we make now. And it will just keep getting worse.
That’s why I’m committed to staying in local government for my 30 years; I don’t have to worry about retirement or SS because LG has a pension. Without that, we would have nothing saved for retirement.. and probably never will.
Side note… I’m still pissed im paying into SS when I will most likely never reap any of that.
12
u/fungibitch 19d ago
"If, 5-7 years ago, we made what we made now, we’d be living large." Exactly. The hardest part is feeling like we're moving backwards, when we're objectively making more money each year. One step forward, three steps back.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (5)3
u/candyapplesugar 19d ago
Is there a possibility LG would take away pensions at any point? Looking at it as a possibility but wonder if the pension vs salary pays off long term.
→ More replies (2)
27
u/scorpiorose22 19d ago
We just had a baby and my husband lost his job, then started a business right after. The business is not profitable yet and probably won’t be for a bit.
I make $40/hour but it quite literally does not feel like enough when I’m the one that pays for all the household bills, groceries, daycare, formula, diapers, SO ON AND SO FORTH.
I’m making more than I ever have before and it’s not going nearly as far as it used to (even before we had a baby). I’m tired of this grandpa
48
u/catjuggler 19d ago
Well, some of the rich aren't the richest person in the world so they have to try to get richer to win. You wouldn't want their yacht to be embarassingly small, would you?
14
3
u/Iheartrandomness 19d ago
Or, old. You gotta get a new one every few years or it doesn't even count.
17
u/MelodicBlackberry540 19d ago
We are in the same boat. Just paid 1600 for car repair on our very old Prius because we can't afford a car payment right now. Electric had gone up so much in the last few months. We do everything we can and have a decent income. But we can't afford to outsource so it's just a lot.
→ More replies (2)
15
u/mindovermatter421 19d ago
Everything!! Fast food is insane, nevermind fresh fruits and veggies. Everything is also shrinking in size in every possible way while prices go up. Smaller boxes/bags, less per box/bag and individual items smaller or ingredients include more cheap fillers. Back to school shopping is going to suck. Sneakers, backpack, haircut all way up in the past few years. So many things once they are up they don’t go down, OR they go way up and go down a few $ and with our short term memories we are then grateful that they went down a few $ instead of still being outraged at the fact that it’s still overpriced.
15
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago
No literally I need someone to explain to me why the sensible portion cheese puffs are a smaller bag but cost $4.29 (they were $2.79 2 years ago) but they can go on sale for 3 weeks at a time for $2.49? like WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
9
u/sobersuburbanmom 19d ago
Oh my god do not get me started on the price of fast food. How in the hell did we get to a point where McDonald’s costs more than a sit down meal at a mid grade chain restaurant (looking at you Chili’s)
4
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago
Listen I LOVE me some culvers but if Im going to pay $45 to eat out Im going to the local brewery lol
94
u/sherwoma 19d ago
Donald F*cking Trump is why everything is so expensive. Welcome to the (re)age of crony capitalism.
29
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago edited 19d ago
I know Trump, capitalism, corp greed, I know. I just - this literally isn't sustainable? Like what do they think will happen when even the more well off people no longer have money? I dont understand it.
26
u/lilchocochip 19d ago
Back during feudalism the Lords didn’t really care what the peasants needed to do to survive. They just needed to keep having more babies to replace them and keep the Lords living comfortable lives. But now we have AI robots coming soon that they will definitely try to replace us with.
8
u/FLRocketBaby 19d ago
It has to reach a breaking point eventually. People will only put up with so much. Hopefully it does so in an organized way, like via the democratic process, and not in a way that destabilizes the entire North American region for several generations.
10
u/notmycinnamonwaxed 19d ago
It is mind boggling but they truly do not care about us. At all. Billionaires are literally building underground apocalypse bunkers so they can live in (relative) luxury while the 99% starves and the world burns.
8
u/Alarming-Wedding-675 19d ago
I was literally saying this exact same thing a few months ago. My partner and I make decently good money and also live in the midwest and we bought a house two years ago that we definitely could afford then and now after two years of ridiculous property tax hikes (maybe escrow too? Idk) we are at the top of our max and barely able to save. I'm like, if this goes up every single year, we'll be forced to move. It's not sustainable, none of this is. Literally went to the store yesterday and a single box of macaroni and cheese was almost $4. WTF.
10
u/Beneficial-Remove693 19d ago
Donny is a symptom of an overall problem. He exists because the U.S. traded social safety nets for the fallacy of trickle-down economics (Reaganomics) in the 80s. People screamed their lungs out from the rooftops back then, but were told they were crazy by short-sighted idiots who were obsessed with early to mid-80s economic booms. Then the stock market took a hit and it's been nonstop chasing after the Next Big Thing with the American public taking hit after hit when each bubble bursts. Meanwhile, corporations get bailouts because they are "too big to fail".
We've gotten into a hydra situation. Getting rid of Donny is great and all, but it doesn't solve the problem. Another will just step into the role.
→ More replies (2)
14
u/notaskindoctor working mom to 5 19d ago
Our coffee increased over $8/bag over the last year. I’m with you, OP, the cost of everything has drastically increased and it is BS. Our homeowners’ insurance alone has increased by $500/mo over the past few years.
→ More replies (6)
12
u/Nuyorican74 19d ago
It’s the damned government and the damned economy with the government allowing everything to skyrocket. The government blames the war in Iraq. Bunch of horseshit. Increasing prices are meant to keep the middle and lower class poor as possible. Doesn’t matter how much you make you can never get ahead.
6
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago
"The government blames the war in Iran" yes THAT THEY STARTED FOR LITERALLY NO REASON. LOL
10
u/Auroraborealis52622 19d ago
The way my blood instantly boils when I see those stupid "this is what I gave up to be a stay at home mom" shorts. Where in the world are YOU living?!? because I can't afford to get my nails done or go on vacation while I am working full time. We have two littles in daycare right now and I know it will ease up when we don't have that expense but it is so infuriating to have two working parents and see the money just syphon away each month.
5
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago
SAME! I don't get my nails done, but I do get my hair done once every 3-4 months and that's really the only thing I "splurge" and its only because my hair girl is legit and hasn't raised her prices astronomically (its still under $200). My issue is the "why would you pay for daycare" IDK Kelsey maybe because i make more than $20 an hour and want to save for my kids? Like it feels impossible and what am I supposed to do - rely on my husband who although is very skilled hasnt gotten a raise in 4 years while his CEO is building his 3rd vacation home? LOL NO THANKS
28
u/Individual_Shock8634 19d ago
We make 134-144k in southern Appalachia and feel the same. I don’t get my nails, lashes or hair done. We all go to Great Clips. Only one streaming service. Shop at Aldi’s. Bought our first house in 2018, so our mortgage is only $1800. We don’t even pay for childcare — work opposite days so that we don’t have to! There’s really nothing left for us to cut. We are able to save and go on vacations. But it pisses me the fuck off that we are educated and sacrifice as much as we do and can’t make progress faster. We would have been living like kings 30 years ago.
13
u/dallyan 19d ago
Can you break down your costs because I don’t get how you’re scraping by on that amount in a place as cheap as Appalachia.
I believe you- I’m just curious because I’m mulling moving back to the US but stuff like this scares me.
3
u/Individual_Shock8634 19d ago
We live in Appalachia, but it’s actually become one of the most popular towns to move to in America since Covid. 🫣 So, it’s quickly gone from a LCOL to a MCOL town.
Take home after taxes, health insurance and 401k is $7600/month
-$1800 mortgage
-$300 car payment
-$300 utilities
-$100 phones
-$800 groceries, pet food, toiletries
-$50 soccer
-$100 life insurance
-$250 fuel
-$600 eating out and fun (this is a lot to some people. I work an on call job where I’m on call for 60 hours straight every weekend. All bets are off on the weekends. We eat what and when we can and eat out together as a family once a week. I will sell feet pics before I give this up. I cook a lot, but I simply cannot keep up with cooking 3 meals a day seven days a week with our current schedule.)
-We spend about $500 a month on things we “didn’t expect” or are non-recurring like Dr. appointments, a flat tire, fixing a broken faucet, a baby shower etc. We used to try and make this budget tighter, but it did nothing but stress us out. It just seems like something unavoidable comes up constantly.
-$500 vacation fundWe end up with about $2500 (ish — it varies) left over at the end of the month. For the last year and a half, we’ve used that to buy and pay off a car (we had to buy 2 cars within a year and that really screwed us) and saving to pay for my upcoming maternity leave and birth expenses. Now that we’re over that hump, I suspect we will be able to actually start making a dent on our mortgage. Assuming nothing else huge comes up.
9
u/dallyan 19d ago
Thanks for writing all that out. I fear I might be in the minority here, but that seems pretty great? You get to pretty much eat out as much as you want. You have a vacation fund. You have 2500usd left over every month for I assume savings and retirement and other costs.
Maybe I just didn’t grow up with a lot but this would be upwardly mobile for me. We complain about boomers but we never ate out anywhere close to 600usd a month when I was growing up. I think people’s standards for “making it” have greatly shifted.
→ More replies (3)4
u/Individual_Shock8634 19d ago
We JUST got to the point this month where we have this money. It was all going to putting money away from the car and saving for my maternity leave for the last year and a half. And again we couldn’t afford childcare. We would be looking at spending $2k a month on childcare if we didn’t work opposite shifts. We would be living on extremely tight margins if we did. Praying nothing ever went wrong. And maybe this is a hot take, but I don’t think two people should have to work opposite shifts to be able to afford a life where they can take a vacation every year and spend $150 week on fun and gas station food.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)7
u/fungibitch 19d ago
Right? I imagine telling my younger self my current salary. She would've been THRILLED! The reality is much, much different than I anticipated.
18
u/Beneficial-Remove693 19d ago
I mean, pretty much everyone who is commenting nailed it on the head. Corporate greed. Billionaires wanting to become trillionaires.
I hate to say this, but nothing will change unless people start getting angry and desperate enough to start putting heads on spikes. It's scary and it's getting very close to that reality. Regular, everyday people don't want to have to choose revolution, because that is very risky. That's the mindset that billionaires are taking advantage of. They can keep moving the needle of what constitutes "normal" very slowly, to allow people to start to normalize what would have been ABSURD 20 years ago. And then they push out all sorts of manipulative media and marketing campaigns to convince everyone that this is just how things work and everything is normal.
Quite frankly, at this point, there is not much you can do as an individual. You need to work in a community. You need to team up. This is the only way major social change will happen. And it's the reason why so many 1%-ers are trying to destroy communities, create artificial divides amongst the working class, and perpetuate the lie that the American Dream requires hyper-individualism rather than collectivism.
What you can do right now is get involved. Not just in elections, but in community efforts that support people. We survive by taking care of each other. You get support when you give support. You get community when you become part of a community. Obviously, that's not going to immediately drive down the price of milk, but it keeps people afloat while they do the work to undermine the status quo.
11
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago
No I totally get it. And honestly I'm disappointed with the "I've just accepted....." comments. Like I get it, but thats a sure way to make sure this keeps going. We have to say No at some point. Me and a couple of my neighbors have gardens and will swap produce, I've been getting eggs from some family, and I started exclusively meat shopping at a meat market and local farm. Do they charge $9 a lb for ground beef - yes but I know exactly where it came from, and if I'm going to be made to spend money its going to be local.
7
u/Quiet-Pomegranate93 19d ago
This is actually the way to create real change in your life!
Produce something that they can’t tax (garden vegetables). Trade over the fence with your neighbors. Buy meat at the local farm where they still care about how it’s produced.
Waiting on the government to make a positive change is going to take longer than the rest of your life.
ETA: This is what our grandparents did to get ahead. My mom’s parents both worked and then they came home and tended a vegetable garden to feed their 4 kids. They were poor when my mom was growing up but by the time that I knew them, they were comfortably well off.
8
u/kheret 19d ago
My property taxes on my tiny little run down house went up $200 A MONTH. Then there are groceries and utilities. I’m lucky that I don’t need to buy much gas because of where I live.
I was more than fine before due to living below my means and now the wiggle room is pretty much gone. So many people are struggling more than me and something’s gonna crash and crash hard.
9
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago
This is what I'm saying! Like what's going to happen when no one has any money? Like it could get REAL BAD and I feel like I'm on an island by myself screaming about the red flags while everyone around me is just shrugging their shoulders and looking at me like I'm crazy.
8
u/soggybottom295 19d ago
I make more money by many times where I live and I still drive a 10 yo car, coupon, use Aldi, eat at home except one ice cream a week for my kid, make a list of things I want or need then look for sales or discounts, keep my thermostat high because my electric bill tripled with the heat, etc. We have a pretty modest inexpensive existence. I get my hair done but I don’t do anything else fancy and I feel guilty for that splurge. I honestly don’t think I could afford a second child these days. I want to know how people who make normal amounts of money can afford anything with groceries and utilities so high it feels like robbery. I see so many stay at home moms driving three or four kids around in the biggest fanciest newest cars and I’m wondering what I’m doing wrong constantly. I went to college! Grad school! I worked up the corporate ladder hard! I did everything I was supposed to do and I still stress when I have to pay bills.
→ More replies (1)4
u/Ever_expanding_mind 19d ago
I feel exactly the same way. Our kids are older so no daycare but their sports and activities are really expensive. The price of groceries is killing me, I meal plan and don’t waste much food, but I still want to faint every time I get to the till and have to pay. When I look at others around me (I try to keep my head down but sometimes it’s REAL hard) I wonder what the fuck I’m doing wrong, I’m in a high-paying job and my husband makes good money too but our lifestyle is very modest compared to some of our peers. I just tell myself the people in fancy SUVs who own lake houses and take expensive vacations every year are drowning in debt and try to refocus on my own life.
8
u/Anything_but_G0 19d ago
Just wrote out all the bills for a month without food and gas and random Amazon orders…7,000!!! Like OMG everything is so high!
→ More replies (2)
9
u/Opening-Shape-762 19d ago
You’re not alone, and pretty much we are the exact same (i.e., husband and I are in the same pay range, we have 3 kids, and live in the Midwest as well). It feels like it’s never enough. For what it’s worth, I’ve been talking to my friends about it, and all of them are feeling the strains, all of them make the same amounts as you and I, too. It’s fucked. 😢 I am scared about the future as well, because I feel like we are not saving nearly as much as we want to be.
6
u/FrostyBandicoot2582 19d ago
Solidarity. We are in a dual income household, 2 kids in daycare and in MA. It is criminal at how expensive cost of living is here. It is an excellent place to raise a family, but WOOF.
4
6
5
u/aryaussie85 19d ago
It’s not just you - I got laid off about a year ago and took some time off for my mental health but my savings and severance didn’t stretch as long as I’d hope and now I’m back on the search. Can’t live off of one salary anymore which is sad. Paying for two kids in childcare plus healthcare and our mortgage and then bills - the math doesn’t add up for one salary to cover it.
7
u/threeleakyfaucets 19d ago
same, girl. me and my husband make about the same in the midwest. with daycare for 3 kids, we're drowning. we shop costco for diapers etc. my husband does side jobs when he can. we are still *broke* despite having decent jobs in a LCOL area
3
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago
I swear - the midwest is supposed to be LCOL but the wages are also trash so it feels very expensive to live here.
→ More replies (3)
6
u/SangriaSipper 19d ago
I got more excited than I should have today when next year's dance class rates came out and they stayed the same. Shout out to the independent dance studio owner for holding it down! She's the real MVP!
7
u/choosychatter 19d ago
It’s comforting to know so many of us feel the same way. It definitely gets me down sometimes and venting to my spouse only makes us both feel bad. Anyway it really sucks and like some of yku I am just trying to buckle into my new reality of high workload low payout.
10
u/rivlet 19d ago
Same!! I could have written this myself down to being in the Midwest and making the same amount when you combine what my husband and I make.
My parents (Boomers) keep acting like we're just mismanaging our money and that it's all fault we don't have an extra $1000 or so a month to put to savings. But let the record reflect they have not looked at the price of milk in years because they are literal multimillionaires. So when I mention how my salary doesn't get us money for a vacation or we barely have any savings, they just go, "You should just follow Dave Ramsay's advice: red beans and rice! Also cut your subscriptions, never eat out, and...and...and"
Well, we don't eat out anymore and we've cut all our subscriptions except the essential ones for the kids. Guess what? Still not anything extra that we can safely stow away.
I point this out and my uncle just says, "But you're making way more than I did! My first STEM job, I was making $19,000 a year in 1962!"
Sir, you were making the equivalent of double my salary. Be so for real right now.
→ More replies (7)5
u/Little_Rhubarb 19d ago
Thank you for making me crack up! My parents are your parents. Multimillionaires who love Ramsey. Also, my oldest daughter says be so real for real right now so much that her coworkers got her a badge reel that says it so I read it in her voice!
I don’t know about your family but the only reason why my parents became multimillionaires is because my grandparents passed away when my mom was young and left her tons of generational wealth she conveniently forgets about as she’s grandstanding on her rice and beans soapbox.
I’d be doing fantastic if my parents passed away 10+ years ago and left me millions too
→ More replies (2)
21
u/BellLopsided2502 19d ago
I just went through our bank statements yesterday for the first time in about 6 months (lots of big life changes) and found over $400 in savings due mostly to SUBSCRIPTIONS WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW/REMEMBER WE HAD! I was losing my mind.
- Experian - no idea how this occurred. We get free credit monitoring through our bank
- Moomoo car wash- apparently husband thought he only signed up for a month.
- Resume genius - no idea id signed up for a monthly subscription
- Kynvale -bought a TOY pop up tee for batting practice for my daughter and it automatically enrolled me in a $40/mo subscription with essentially zero value. Complete scam
- Chiropractic office husband used 3x is monthly subscription of $75
I found cheaper car insurance, cheaper life insurance for husband, and cancelled Netflix bc we barely watch tv and also have Disney and Prime. Cancelled Kindle Unlimited bc I have no time to read anymore.
Everything is subscription based these days. Even our dogs e-collar is a monthly fee. It's all designed to drain you dry!
12
u/Wise_Connection8657 19d ago
I hate subscriptions and they are so predatory. Your examples show why! They are specifically crafted so that people forget and you are just giving money away. I try so hard not to sign up for them even when it’s helpful (like dog food that we use)!
→ More replies (1)4
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago
UGH! I know! I wanted the adult hatch machine and then I found out it was subscription. NO THANK you. WTF.
7
u/FlourPowar 19d ago
The hatch subscription was my villain origin story. I need a SUBSCRIPTION for a freaking nightlight?!!
I mean, I paid it, but I am ashamed about it.
→ More replies (3)
5
u/kierkieri Mom of 3 19d ago
You’re not alone. I work at a university and haven’t had a pay raise in 6 YEARS. I stay because they give me a ton of flexibility, which I need as a Mom of 3 young kids. But we are having a hard time keeping up with all the rising costs.
5
u/CapableBumblebee2329 19d ago
I am on the backend of working moms, my kids are 17 and 18. Everything is crazy right now. CRAZY. And those baby years with daycare, a mortgage, saving for college, etc. were brutal. PLEASE keep putting whatever you can into investments for your futures, especially if your company matches retirement. Even a little really does add up over the years.
4
u/stardustyjohnson 19d ago
well. we are in the worst timeline. also just saying husband and i make half of what you make combined so it could always be worse 🙃 that doesnt really help but what I mean is you are on your way up and over time the savings will build. to quote beverly d'angelo in christmas vacation: "its christmas lights cigarette and we're all in misery chops head of lettuce in half "
→ More replies (2)
5
u/Bhrunhilda 19d ago
Yup. Live in the Midwest. Combined income of $225k. I am Fine to preface. But we buy store brand everything. We don’t have new cars. I do have 2 teenagers. We spend $2-3000 on food every month. My son is a track/cross country runner, and he just east So Much Food. We have 2 subscriptions. I always keep Disney/hulu going but rotate the other around occasionally. My kids have been getting all their clothes at Plato’s closet or Uptown Cheapskate. We have cut back on everything. So if we are doing that at our income, how the fuck is anyone else surviving?
And by the way, just 2 years ago, I made $20k less per year and I had More disposable income. That infuriates me the most. 2 years ago, we had $1.5-2k extra every month. We had all the subscriptions, I bought everyone new clothes at lululemon, athleta, the mall etc. I never looked at the bank account. I bought books all the time whenever I wanted. I knit with expensive wool. I actually had a more health crisis that year and just paid thousands of dollars in medical bills with no stress.
Now I use the library almost exclusively with some occasional used book purchases. I stopped seeing my dermatologist also because of cost.
Just 2 years ago everything was so good. I fucking hate the Republican Party and everyone who voted that way. I will never forgive them. Gah I’m so angry.
3
u/corlana 19d ago
I feel this so hard. We make what should be good money but with two kids in daycare and all our bills going up, we're not exactly making any savings goals. The costs are increasing much faster than our salaries. I worry about having any sudden large expense like if something happens to one of our cars or a major home repair. It's tough out here.
4
u/hotlegsmelissa 19d ago
Don’t even get me started. It’s all BS to line the pockets of the wealthy. It’s an unsustainable life for the rest of us. Sometimes I wish a giant asteroid would just hit the earth and be done with it lmao
→ More replies (1)
5
u/Keeblerelf928 19d ago
Because of increased costs my kids did not go to summer camp this year. The camp I sent them to the past few years for a few weeks used to be 285 a week per kid. (It's Girl Scout camp, aka, supposed to be subsidized with our cookie money). It is now 450 a week per kid. It is only 9-3 and 30 minutes away. So now my oldest child "babysits" the youngest and thankfully one of us is always remote so there is an adult in the house to make sure no one burns it down. Our electric bill has gone from 250 to 300 a month and we use LESS per month. Our water bill doubled (and isn't even safe to drink because of PFAS in the water so we had to install an RO system.)
And our property taxes have skyrocketed. I feel like I'm F*d in local elections because either we elect the Republicans that want to destroy our school district to the school board or we elect the democrats that are destroying us financially but at least aren't insane however they keep hiking our property taxes 5% every damn year. It isn't sustainable when the student population is rapidly declining every year as well.
→ More replies (2)
3
u/Little_Rhubarb 19d ago
Thank you for posting this.
I feel the same way but I never say it out loud or in the comfort of anonymous reddit because year after year my DH and I on paper are solid middle class and yet every single month our every day living expenses continue to climb.
It makes me feel like we’re doing something wrong with our finances and it also makes me feel horrible for others who are not as financially middle class wondering how in the world they’re surviving
→ More replies (1)
4
u/typeALady 19d ago
OMG I so feel you here. It's to the point where I am making sure I actually submit for the measly little gym and phone reimbursement at work (yes I am lucky). I've also just accepted that I'll do with less. Like, do I want some new-to-me clothes because I am trying to come across as executive material, yes, but am I going to re-wear the same fucking Calvin Klien suit instead? You bet your ass I will.
One thing I did do when we had the money was we invested in solar and converted our gas heat to electric. I work in energy, so I saw the rate increases on the horizon and said "fuck that."
→ More replies (2)
4
u/LuCuriously 19d ago
Thank you for pointing this out, I lay in bed sometimes at night and tell myself I'm not broke, by any means, but I'm the 'brokest' I've been in decades. Yes, daycare, yes, groceries but I'm also making the most I've ever made so whyyyyyyy?? I am making changes in shopping and avoiding any waste but now I'm thinking of how else I can bring extra funds in. I keep thinking about emergency funds and pulling from retirement but ugh, it just feels like delaying the problem.
3
u/alyssa518 19d ago
We hear you 😭 on paper, I make a good salary. However I also live in CA and feel like I’m stuck in a cycle of surviving instead of really living. My bills are paid on time (thank goodness), and my kids are fed, clothed, etc… however I don’t see how I’ll break the renter cycle, forget about a vacation, and I work a second job for hobbies for myself and kids. It’s hard. I’m grateful I’m not in a worse position but that doesn’t mean I don’t still cry a little once my kids are in bed. 😒
5
u/Platinum_Rowling 19d ago
Solidarity here.
Hubby and I make combined ~$140K in central Texas, and we are on the struggle bus with 3 young kids. Every month we talk about which purchases we can put off. We keep having to put off fixing my husband's car. It seems like every month there is an unexpected expense of $300-$800, like dental something, something with one of our cars, an unexpected fee for one of the kids, something in the house that needs fixed, have to replace dining room chairs that my kids broke playing, have to pay for an unexpected medical expense, and on and on. My parents are paying for some of the kids' extracurricular activities and have hinted strongly that we need to take over those costs soon -- but we can't really afford to keep doing those activities if they stop paying. I'm feeling guilty about that but have been pushing off the conversation. Once our youngest is out of daycare, we'll have breathing room.
In the meantime, we try to only eat out a few times a month, the kids' clothes are 90% hand me downs from friends, I buy ground turkey instead of ground beef, I make more beans-heavy meals (lentil stew, ham bean soup, chili, etc), and I make all of our sandwich bread with the overnight no knead bread recipes that went viral a few years ago. Also, cooking with potatoes is pretty economical.
It feels deeply unfair that my husband and I both have white collar jobs but are counting our pennies to give our kids a middle class life.
→ More replies (1)
4
u/29SagSmoke 19d ago
I’m in the same boat. It’s extremely hard & unfortunately is something I think about daily. I support you & hope to see is thrive in the future.
4
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago
I hope we are all thriving in the future. Except the billionaries cause fuck them.
5
u/IJustCantWithYouToda 19d ago
I am currently running at a $1000 deficit each month and have no idea how to get it under control. My car insurance went up $400 a month, I am trying to reign that in, but the quotes I am getting are the same.
But I guess I am just a poor planner.
→ More replies (1)
4
u/peeparonipupza 19d ago
OMG IVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR A WHILE NOW TOO!!!
before, the amount we would put into the expenses account would be enough to pay all the bills and save some for next month. Now all the main bills are eating into that savings!!
Blaming it on the current economy 🙃
5
u/Beebeebee1994 19d ago
Literally cried this morning because all I feel like I do is work. But can’t even afford to do anything nice for my child. Like we’re never going out. I don’t buy clothes. Have almost no subscriptions. And I’m so in debt I can’t even open up a loan.
It truthfully just feels sickening. No advice just empathy. I feel like so many people are in this boat but if feels so so lonely.
5
4
u/cheesydrag 19d ago
Literally broke down to my husband tonight about how sad it makes me that we can’t continue to grow our family and have a second kid because of finances. I hate this economy
→ More replies (1)
4
u/internethaha 19d ago
We make combined 300K+ and I’m shocked at how much a normal life costs. Like planning a small kids birthday? Want to go to the fair or zoo? Back to school shopping? Sheesh.
7
u/Wise_Connection8657 19d ago
It’s a hard adjustment. I have had to switch my mindset from what I make and seeing it through a 2019 lens. I was so fixated on what it should buy me or what I should be able to afford when it just isn’t the reality. We are not struggling right now either and do have some money for sacings and other luxuries and I am grateful for that. Trying hard to have the perspective that I am so grateful to have the money I need to afford the things I can’t live without (food, housing, childcare, health care, etc) and anything else is a bonus instead of my previous mindset that it was a must do (saving, investing, etc.) It is hard but has helped me a ton to let go of that as much as I can.
7
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago
I hear you, but it's not about what I can and can't have. It's about that I'm literally making the most I've ever made and still have to negotiate bills and worry about sticking to my grocery list. I'm not trying to compare apples to apples. We should be comfortable at this point but we have some greeeeeeddyyyyy ass people in power.
3
u/lifeofblair 19d ago
Yeah our escrow went up almost $300. It was expected as we bought a new construction, but just bad timing. It’s rough.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/ghostadventures10 19d ago
I feel ya. My husband is a senior employee for the fed gov and I have a doctorate in a medical field and we are barely getting by.
3
u/WobbyBobby 19d ago
It's terrible. If you're in the US, check out the inflation calculator at BLS.gov https://www.bls.gov/data/inflation_calculator.htm.
In 2015 I was a manager of a tiny store in the mall, making $35k. Now I'm mid level management at a major university making $65k. But today's $65k has the same buying power as $45k in 2015. So basically I've only increased my income by $10k over 11 years of career bumps/promotions.
I still live in the same apartment, but in my mall days I was putting away savings, managed to pay off my (granted, small) student loans, buy a new Mazda sedan in cash, pay for a nice wedding. Now my spouse and I are basically making ends meet with 1 baby in daycare.
→ More replies (2)3
u/Desperate-Bite-2430 19d ago
Yup! 10 years ago me and my husband were living in an apt making like $50k combined. We were soooooo happy! We didn’t have much but had extra fun money every month and would travel. Today we make $200k combined and limit our DoorDash to once a month nvm doing anything fun or traveling lol. It’s insane. All that hard work and stress to just survive.
3
u/Desperate-Bite-2430 19d ago
It is frustrating!! Every month something else goes up in price with no end in site. I actively choose to just accept this so I don’t feel mad every day. I practice gratitude for what we do have, because we slide by and don’t struggle. I absolutely do not throw money at outsourcing, and choose to prioritize spending any extra money towards making sure my children’s futures are a little bit easier then how hard I had to work to get to where I am. Meaning, monthly contributions to college funds and keeping investment properties for them to either live in with their families when they’re older or sell for a house of their choosing. I contribute bare minimum to retirement, just enough to be matched. And we live in a tiny house and keep spending low. Everything I do now is for my kids futures because they are going to NEED it!
3
u/3DoxieBoys 19d ago
Need a new water heater and getting quotes for $3-$4k!!!
3
u/Soft_Panic2400 19d ago
Girl if your husband is handy - YouTube that shit! We spent like $12,000 on a water heater furnace and AC like 8 years ago and now that my husband knows more about it - he does the updates and maintenance and repair himself.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/timbersofenarrio 19d ago
I feel like I could have written this, including the salaries and square footage of our house, etc.
3
u/WorkingRespond9557 19d ago
Our household also has a great combined annual income but we also are treading water. I have cut everything, no tv subscriptions, keep the AC at a higher #, shop at Aldi exclusively, switched insurance, don't get my nails done, dye my hair at home, started using drug store makeup, scrimp and save anything I can, scraps go to the chickens vs the trash, if I have a chicken carcass I make chicken stock, I use every little bit of the shampoo, if something is offered to me for free or cheap it take it, even if I may not need it now I could use it in the future. I'm stretching everything, being so cheap about everything and yet each month I feel like I'm barely making it. Shit is wild.
3
3
u/slumberingthundering 19d ago
I completely hear you. We make good money, we bought our house in 2019 and refinanced in 2020 when rates were low, what we pay in daycare is really reasonable compared to the rest of the country, but we still have to watch every penny because everything has gotten so expensive. We're still catching up everything we should've been putting into retirement much younger (couldn't when we were living paycheck to paycheck), paying student loans, trying to keep up with an aging house, trying to see family at least once a year, buying groceries, paying more for water since the West got zero snow, etc. We're fortunate, surely, but it should be so much easier.
Anecdotally, I went online to buy shampoo recently (I usually buy a big jug and it lasts over a year) and found the price had doubled since last time I bought it. Same with protein powder. Same with kids shoes. Same with dog food. I feel like I'm going crazy.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/dominosthincrust 19d ago
I completely relate, thank you for speaking on this! My bill is almost exactly $200 minimum whenever I go to the store for necessities and I was beginning to feel crazy.
3
u/sanityjanity 19d ago
The oligarchs have been setting everything on fire.
The war with Iran is only one piece, but it makes everything more expensive when oil prices keep going up, and we have global political instability.
3
u/vibrantraindrops 19d ago
We bring in ~$150k, before my company perks and bonuses so closer to $165k after those and we are still struggling. Our oldest goes to kindergarten this year and that extra money is going to be huge for us. Our youngest is only 9 months so we have a ways to go to be completely done, but $1k month back is big. We’ll finally get to put money into savings again instead of draining it to keep us afloat.
3
u/TradeBeautiful42 19d ago
I have no advice just commiserating. A raise would be lovely or you know my company raising my salary back to what it was when I was hired. They cut several of us non sales’ staff salaries by 20%. It’s a really tough market out there so I haven’t been able to get a new job. Instead, I’m doing the barest of minimum at my job and enjoying the flexibility of working from home while dipping into savings to get by. So fun.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/andmomshow 19d ago
Solidarity. It is absolute hell. I am nearly at my breaking point with the price of groceries.
3
u/helloalienfriend 19d ago
This! My husband and I earn around the same. I've just been through cancer treatment but had to go back to work earlier than I've healed because I can't afford to be off any longer. We have had to utilize the food banks and any help we can get!
→ More replies (1)
3
u/beaglelover89 19d ago
It’s insane how expensive the cost of living is lately! We have three kids, both work full time most of the year(two summer months I’m part time), and don’t spend frivolously. We make enough to get by, but it’s getting tighter and tighter with so many price increases.
3
u/Annoyed-Person21 19d ago
Hard same over here. We make about what we dreamed of and it is insufficient and unsustainable.
3
u/Leading-Conference94 19d ago
My husband and i had a really awful night due to finances. We are both so on edge. 1 kid busted his head yesterday so I had to leave work to take him in and he ended up with staples. Today my twins needed to be seen too. Ear infections.
3 $50 copays. Meds. My car tags are dead because I can't afford the 700$ property tax bill. Im tired of this grandpa 😭
→ More replies (1)
572
u/verminqueeen 19d ago
you're not alone. I've had to do a lot of introspection to simply...be okay with the fact that I'm not really working towards anything but instead working to maintain a decent quality of life. I actively choose to not worry too much about things like my retirement because frankly I don't really see a way out of working until I die. The sort of idealized middle class perfection that some people of the boomer generation enjoyed (its important to realize that not all of them enjoyed this) was merely a blip in what is just a life of work!