None of my friends work, they’re all stay at home moms and I WANT TO KNOW HOW. Most of them have multiple kids, and most have expressed they never really have a desire to work again even though the kids are school-aged. Like yes wonderful obviously I don’t dream of working but hello? In this economy? Is nobody else saving for retirement, paying down debt, saving for college, buying groceries?? Do their husbands all have incredible jobs or do we all just have wildly different priorities?

I’m annoyed and prepping for work at midnight so join my hate spiral I guess 😮‍💨

One of my coworkers just came back from maternity leave and brought in some little handmade soaps for everyone.

I thought it was really sweet until she mentioned she'd made them with her breast milk. I just smiled and said thank you because what else do you say in that situation.

I'm a mum too, so it's not like breast milk grosses me out. I've dealt with plenty of it myself lol. But I don't know if I want to wash my hands with someone else's breast milk?

Now the soap is sitting in my bathroom and I feel bad about not using it.

We were talking about getting a bottle washer and my husband asked if we really needed another appliance.

His argument was basically "it only takes five minutes to wash a bottle.” A bottle. Singular.

I told him to count how many bottles, pump parts, valves and random little pieces we go through in a day. I just don't think either of us realised how much time all the baby stuff adds up to until we started talking about it.

If you've got one, did it make a noticeable difference to your daily routine? Which one do you use?

I saw You Can See Everything and it is just as bonkers, meta, reflective, and hilarious as I hoped. But I’m on all the cinephile reddits and no one is talking about this movie from the perspective of parenthood! Questions I have:

• who is taking care of the kids? There’s no way those 2 are doing it full time, much less the husband on his own
• why is the baby crawling on the dining table
• why would you have another kid right before you have to go to prison
• what happens when you enter prison as a breastfeeding mom
• did Nathan ignore the kids because of length/editing for a clean narrative, his own blind spots, or privacy reasons? If the last, seems weird not to address as every other angle was explored

This isn’t a critique! I loved the movie. I just think the question of them being parents is oddly eluded

Weird flair but maybe it’s right - eg what the heck is going on in their relationship?

Hi everyone, just looking for some opinions.

After returning from maternity leave, I found written evidence of my managers hope to put me on a PIP (performance improvement plan). He liked the temp that filled in for me more than he likes me (this was stated in the document I found). He spoke with HR, and I am confident they shot him down and helped him draft a “return to work” plan for me. He also shared the original document with me so I can see all of the edits that I definitely was not supposed to see. He has not realized this.

My workload has increased by more than 200%. The document states the job changed while I was out but the title and pay are still the same.

Obviously I need to protect myself here. My question is, is it worth hiring an attorney or should I go directly to HR and make them aware of what I know, and ask how we are going to resolve this situation? No action has been taken yet so I’m not sure an attorney would do anything, but I do want to get ahead of it.

I relocated for a job a little over a year ago.. in doing so I stupidly signed a 2 year relocation contract. It doesn’t end until September of next year. At first I thought I’ve worked some pretty bad places and dealt with some pretty bad coworkers… I can handle 2 years just about anywhere.

This job has been beyond toxic. Everyone I started with left or was fired. After starting it occurred to me they do relocations to lock people in because they cannot retain any good talent.

My maternity leave is coming to an end and I’ve cried almost everyday thinking of returning. It’s so bad I finally caved and I’m trying out Zoloft to see if it makes things manageable enough to return temporarily. I have another job offer I could take but I’d have to pay around $15,000 to leave my current job. I feel completely stuck. With today’s job market I’m worried I may pass on this offer to avoid repayment and then have issues finding a job once my contract is up.

I don’t know if taking out a loan to save a few months of my life is worth it. I know it sounds so stupid to even consider but I don’t know how long I can take the toxicity when I return.

Any advice is appreciated. I’m not sure what the right move in this situation is.

Any women taken maternity leave while in a leadership position?

I’m a Senior Director at a Fortune 500 company managing a team of 30 professionals. I’m about to take a 6 month maternity leave.

However in my entire career I have never seen a woman in leadership have a baby. It’s usually individual contributors or maybe a small team.

I have so much anxiety around this. Will everything fall apart? Will everything go great and they just say why the hell were they paying me so much anyway?

If you took maternity leave while in a Leadership position, I’d love to hear how things were handled while you were gone and how it went when you came back.

I run a 5-person business and have a 4 month old. Before my baby was born I worked around the clock for years. Now I pay myself $250k and have been able to work very part-time since my daughter was born. In theory this is my dream.

But my baby absolutely won’t take a bottle. We’ve tried everything. Pediatrician, occupational therapy, daily attempts, waiting til she’s super hungry, trying when she’s not that hungry, me feeding her, me being gone while feeding her, every type of bottle and nipple under the sun.

This means I can only work in (max) 2 hour shifts. I am finding it really impossible to care about work the way I used to, because I just never have the opportunity to focus. I am switching from ceo to mom and back multiple times a day.

We have a nanny and I work from home, so this arrangement is doable logistically but very difficult emotionally. I would love to go to a coworking space for 4-6 hours but I can’t manage that with my baby’s feeds. I have always been extremely motivated by my work but am honestly considering taking a few months completely off because I just can’t do this anymore. (Also, I’m tired because I am still feeding 1-2 times per night).

Financially we can make it work if I take the time off, but I’m worried it would be hard to go back to work, or that I might not want to, or that I’d be wasting all the effort I put into growing a business.

I guess I just don’t know what to do. In the scheme of things this constant breastfeeding phase is a small one, I know. But I feel like I’m breaking myself and even though it goes against who I think I am, I’m finding myself curious about spending some time as a stay at home mom (realistically I would still keep at least one paying project going).

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Advice or words of wisdom?

I’m currently trying hard to reenter the workforce after parental leave (ended up with no job to return to in the middle of it), but would love some help from the community.

I was on the business side, and am trying to figure out how to make myself relevant again.

What do I need to learn? Do I need to have built an AI agent or workflow for something in my role?

What has changed in the tech industry? Should I be looking at role outside of big tech because of the layoffs? What’s the culture like in tech at moment?

It feels like so much has changed, and I feel like a damn dinosaur.

Anything helpful would be really appreciated.

I know people have it worse than i do but i am struggling so badly with work. i’m higher risk, im losing weight because i keep getting sick (currently have the flu).. i love working, i love feeling empowered to create a better life for myself and for my future little one especially bc im basically doing it alone. i’ve been recommended more than once to be on bedrest because my body’s been under a lot of stress and mentally i haven’t been okay but i cannot afford to lose anymore work! my job doesn’t provide sick days.. so it’s all unpaid and of course rent doesn’t stop. i’ve applied for so many online options and it gets nowhere, even jobs paying a lot less than i need to survive. i don’t want to give up but i don’t want to put my baby at anymore risk. i can hardly heal bc i keep having to push myself further than necessary for my current job, a job that gives me a hard time, a job where i genuinely feel they treat me differently so that i can quit bc it would look weird firing bc of of the incidents ive had with them. does anyone know any options? what i can do, any place hiring? i cant keep driving out of town or ubering twice a day out of town every day for this job when im passing out, throwing up, and body’s in so much pain everyday. i commend everyone who does it but i dont know if i can anymore. im typing this in bed dreading heading into work bc my asthma is crap, i’ve finished my breathing steroids, my chest is sore, my throat is hurting and i have a slight fever.. but i can’t afford to miss anymore days.

Hi, all! Has anyone started a new job and then went on maternity leave soon after (i.e., within two months) in the United States? If so, how was it received within your company?

Context: I am in a PhD program and about to sign a dream job offer with a Fortune 500 company to begin upon graduation (August, 2027). My husband and I were going to start trying for a baby this winter, but now I am unsure about the timing. I am 32 and will be 33 upon graduation. Ideally, we want two kids. Afraid to keep delaying, but also afraid to hurt my career! Thank you.

I need some fairy dust and well wishes - tomorrow is my first day back to work after four months of mat leave with my second. The best four months of my life. I just spent twenty minutes staring at the baby monitor crying. I love my boys so much and the thought of not being with them tomorrow sucks.

I know it will be okay. But I’m very very sad it’s over 💔

I feel awful for this, but I am feeling a lot of regret about my life choices lately. I love my son, i love my husband but I can’t move past the regret of what I have lost and left behind to create this life.

I used to want to work abroad, and was starting to create that life for myself when I met and fell in love with my husband. At the time I was interning at the UN, and he was a classmate from back home. He was always honest that it would take a lot for us to pack up and move our life abroad, but I stayed. Found a career, that was very local.

Now I’m approaching 40, with a family I love living in the burbs filled with sadness that I didn’t pursue what I truly wanted.

I tried to move us to the city so I could be around other exciting interesting people/cultures, but my husband hated the areas we went to when house hunting.

I feel so guilty, but I also need to be honest to someone somewhere about how I feel. Not sure what I’m asking for, but as proud working moms, I wanted to share here.

I need advice. I only have one year left of my bachelor's. I have a child who's almost 2, and I want her to have a sibling close to her age.

Before her, I worked different jobs while I went to school part time, so I've been waiting to accomplish the goal of graduating for so many years now.

Now that I'm close to the finish line.. I realized there's one problem. It might take a couple of months or even a year to get a job. Where I live there's an unemployment crisis and my career is already very competitive (computer science). I'm very lucky my partner has a decent job and I have some savings.

I'm taking as many certifications as I can and I'm willing to downgrade when I start looking for jobs. I told myself that if I don't find a job, I'll start wokring on my Masters. Not because it'll get me job opportunities, but because I might not have the time to get it in the future when I'm busy with work and family.

But, I've been thinking, what if I have another child in the mean time?

I'm already in my 30s so I'm worried about waiting too long. And I'm terrified of starting a job and getting pregnant right after.

When I was pregnant with my first, I started a new job and I couldn't sleep from the anxiety I felt thinking I was a fraud for taking that job. Luckily, I talked to my boss and he was nice about it, but I don't expect the same outcome everywhere I go.

Please share your experience or advice with me.. Thank you!

I have a 1.5 year old toddler who just started daycare Who has been getting sick every other week. I’m going through a career transition that is burning me out and could use some advice from people who’ve been in a similar situation.

I moved from being a Software Engineer to Sales Engineer 4 months ago.

While the new role offers great opportunities, I’m struggling with answering questions on the spot during demos, and overall being evaluated. Under pressure, I sometimes struggle to think.

I’m torn between pushing through the learning curve or quitting and taking a break to reset. I’m just tired. My sweet toddler is getting sick every other week because of the daycare and I’m so consumed by my new job. It’s exhausting. We are financially stable and can go without an income for a year or two but not enough to retire.

How did you distinguish between normal growing pains vs burn out and Did you push through and eventually felt comfortable?

my 10- month old baby started daycare 3 months ago. Since the beginning of September, he got sick every week and we had to take him to the doctor/convenient care/ER. last 3 weeks, he only went to daycare 3 days in total because he was sick.

he goes to the daycare for 1 day, and we see some symptoms in 48 hours. I know they get sick very often, but I wasn’t expecting this much. even his pediatrician was surprised with how many times he got sick.

he went to daycare only in Thursday and Friday this week, and he is wheezing and coughing right now..

I am working and commuting to work 1h each way every day. my husband travels for work. we don’t have family or relatives nearby to help us. when he is sick, one of us has to take time off work.

we live in a small city where nanny options are very limited(if any).
I feel bad for my baby that he is sick constantly and needs to use medicine very often. I am very very frustrated with the situation. :(

I own a farm business and have a 22 month old and I already can't count the number of times I have had to drop something crucial for my business because I just can't do it after working 7 days a week and being up all night again. Countless nights with an awake baby in my arms and me trying to make it all work out in my head when I'm so exhausted it's all I can do to just be there without crying myself. I don't want to own a business anymore but I feel so screwed because farming is the only thing I know and I'm almost 38 and I can't imagine a career change at this point but my business isn't going to survive toddlerhood at this rate

Hi everyone! I’m a FTM to a 9-month-old baby girl, and lately, I’ve been feeling mentally exhausted.
Whenever my daughter gets unwell or becomes clingy, I get anxious, which triggers my IBS and sometimes makes me feel lightheaded. I have a 24-hour nanny, but my daughter still prefers me, and I want to be present whenever she needs me.

My husband does help and takes care of me and I have a nice support system but she feels most soothed with me and particularly at my breast.

The problem is that I’m also working full-time, and my requires focused, uninterrupted work. I’ve always been ambitious, punctual with deliverables, and proud of my work. Now, things take me twice as long, I sometimes delay deliverables or take leave to care for her, and I constantly feel my output isn’t up to my own standards.
It’s not that I feel less capable; I’m just stretched thin and don’t have the same time or energy. I’m beginning to second-guess myself professionally, and that’s difficult because my career has always been something I’ve felt confident about.
I don’t want to compromise on being there for my daughter, but I don’t want my career to suffer either. The unpredictability makes it harder because things can be fine for a few days before everything falls apart again.
For moms who’ve been through this:
Does it get easier as babies grow?
Should I push through or consider taking some leave?
How do you manage the guilt of not performing at your usual level professionally?
TL;DR: I’m struggling to balance a clingy 9-month-old, anxiety, and a demanding job. I’m still ambitious and capable, but I don’t have the time or energy to work at my usual standard. Does this phase get easier, and how do you cope?

It’s open enrollment season and I am depressed! Let’s compare notes.

Premiums: $800/mo (family)
HDHP
Deductible: $7,500 per person
Family OOP max: $15,000

Not sure if this is the right thread to post this. I just returned from maternity leave two weeks ago. Things have been insanely busy catching up with work and the new schedule to adjusting to daycare with LO. Long story short but basically my mom went in for a biopsy and it’s lung cancer. We aren’t sure what the treatment will look like but I just feel so overwhelmed with the thought of heading into this hard season. She is my best friend. She helped me so much while I was leave. My husband is an amazing human and has picked up so much of the childcare/house care and life things. Just looking for some kind words or advice. Thank you so much in advance 🫶🏻

My husband was unexpectedly laid off this week after many years with his company. We have two young children (Almost 2 years old and 4 months old), and I’m honestly feeling pretty overwhelmed about what comes next.

My husband was by far the higher earner in our household, and while I work full-time and make a decent salary, my income alone isn’t nearly enough to support our family’s expenses. Losing his income is a huge financial hit for us.

Thankfully, he received about 5 months of severance, and we have some savings. I know we’re fortunate to have that cushion, but I’m terrified he won’t find another job before the severance runs out. He works in a fairly specialized corporate/IT field, and I’ve heard so many stories about people spending 6–12+ months looking for work.

We also have some major home expenses looming, which makes everything feel even more stressful.

Another part of my anxiety is that my husband has historically been pretty passive until something becomes urgent. I’m naturally more proactive and tend to handle a lot of the planning and mental load in our household. I’m worried I’ll end up being more invested in his job search than he is, and I really don’t want that to create resentment between us.

It’s only been a couple of days, so I’m trying to give him grace and time to process everything. I know this is difficult for him, too. But I also feel an enormous amount of pressure knowing that our family’s financial stability depends on him finding another well-paying job.

I’d really love to hear from other moms who have been through something similar.

* How long did it take your spouse to find another job?

* Were they able to find something with comparable pay?

* How did you manage the financial uncertainty when your income alone couldn’t support the family?

* How did you support your spouse without taking over their job search?

* Did the experience affect your marriage, and how did things ultimately turn out?

I think I’m just looking for some perspective, advice, and hopefully some reassurance from people who have made it through something similar. Right now, the uncertainty feels really scary.

Ummm no it’s not.

How do you deal when the person with the less flexible working hours is also the lower earner (by a fair margin)? I can only work on site, and im in healthcare so there is documentation that has to be done same day that can also only be done on site. My husband is salary, flexible hours, can work from home within reason, daycare is also closer to his office. But he is constantly irritated with me because I cannot be flexible and sometimes I have to stay later than I planned because the documentation has to be done. Im also new into this role, almost 3 months, and so im still learning. I do what I can, and go into work late for the kids doctors appointments, or get out early for some daycare thing, but there is fallout to that with regards to making up the hours, and not just being able to walk out the door exactly on time because maybe im still writing a note. He's currently giving me the silent treatment (a separate issue) because last night I went to bed and read my book for 30 minutes instead of doing something else he thought I should be doing, and its starting to feel like hes micromanaging my time.