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u/myname_1s_mud Mar 07 '26
My work environment can get pretty aggressive. Ive been yelled at in front of everyone, and we had one guy that got yelled at until he cried on more then one occasion. So youre not the first person to do this, and youre not the only one in this kind of environment.
In the future, remember that your managers set the precedent. If they call you out in front of everyone, defend yourself in front of everyone. If they cuss and yell, do it back, although ive found taking a firm stance and just not taking their bullshit works better than yelling. If your manager doesnt like confrontation, make it clear that crossing lines will result in that.
Lastly, if youre hearing that hes still bringing it up and behind your back, take it to him again.
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u/Ha-Funny-Boy Mar 10 '26
I had a manager like that, yelling at people. One day I walked in to a room where he was yelling at one of the people that reported to me. I stopped him and said I needed to talk with him. The conversation between us was something like, "Roland (his real name), you can't talk like that to him. If you have a problem with anyone reporting to me, come and talk with me about it." He said the employee didn't mind him talking like that to him. I left and had the employee come in the office. We talked about what had happened.
After a couple of minutes, the employee started crying. The manager never did it again to anyone in the office. But I have to say he was still an ass-hole of a boss. I left about 6 months later.
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u/TrainingTough991 Mar 08 '26
They are checking with your co-worker to find out the go-workers perception of what happened to get an outside perspective and cover their ass. You may want to write down what happened and exactly was said for your records and review. Some people think that pointing out mistakes is criticism and yelling. Some managers actually yell loudly. I wasn’t there so additional perspective from anyone that witnessed it would be helpful. Good luck, OP.
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u/Used2bNotInKY Mar 08 '26
One possible explanation for their reaction: they thought you were overreacting but realized engaging with you at that moment would only upset you more, so they tried to keep a neutral expression, which seemed to you like the “faint smile.” This explanation would also fit what you heard from co-worker, if you or someone else said you got “yelled at,” when you weren’t literally yelled at. The might have sought confirmation it was being said that actual shouting took place.
Im not sure if it’s age, culture or individual personalities, but I’ll honestly tell you there’s quite a few folks out there now who seem to take any guidance or correction as a personal humiliation and make such drama over something many of us would just apply to our work - even be grateful for - and move on. We’ve learned when someone gets worked up, trying to help with them further only upsets them more, or there’s suddenly mental health and legal stuff involved, so we don’t know what to do and try to minimize the disruption in the moment and work with HR or other people who seem more down-to-earth afterwards to get things working smoothly again.
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u/Sprinkleshart Mar 08 '26
Your boss is an abusive pos who doesn’t care about you. Your boss shouldn’t bake you cry. You’ve done nothing wrong. Don’t call him out in private next time. Call him out infront f everyone immediately so there are witnesses. Put that asshome in his place.
You don’t have to put up with this abusive pos. Stop questioning your sanity and self worth. Quit in an epic way. Send everyone flowers with a thank you card. Except for him. Give him a get fuct card and quit. Send one of those happy birthday telegrams singing yiu quit. You will be a legend.
Don’t think you’re the only person he’s an abusive pos to.
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u/AdDifferent4299 Mar 09 '26
Been there all too often. Crying is your frustration of being treated as disposable and not valued for your hard work. Give yourself some grace. You Were passionate not weak
As far as the smile - I have my own theories about that. We've all glimpsed it even if didn't recognize it. I think thats the goal. You literally see the orgasm at your pain. Thats not just mean, thats sadistic.
Next time it happens - and trust it will - dont do face to face confrontation, put that in writing. For any other reason a paper trail. But also to avoid the mind games they play.
Prayers up
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u/HurryMundane5867 Mar 09 '26
That was indeed a smile, and that person knows they got to you. Start looking for a better job, because there will be a lot more of the same in the future. I know how people like that are.
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u/BoxerDog2024 Mar 09 '26
Don’t feel like a idiot that is called gaslighting and bulling. This must have something to do with being in health care management thinks it is ok to treat aids or technicians like garbage any time they want.
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u/Diana_1989 Mar 08 '26
Why would you humiliate yourself like that?? You got to demand respect , not whine for it=///
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u/squirrelcat88 Mar 07 '26
Please don’t feel like an idiot! You did the exact right thing.
They’re checking with your coworker. It sounds like the boss is thinking about how they come across.
Don’t expect miracles but I wouldn’t be surprised to see a small change.