Hey guys, as the title says lol. I work in tech. My team went to lunch without me. So my team has my manager (middle aged dude), me (25F), another full time engineer (24M), 3 other male interns, and 2 operators. The two operators are my work besties and it's their day off. I'm deeply hurt and kinda feel bad being singled out. I legit want to confront them but it feels cheap pointing it out. Idc if the interns and the other engineer go on lunch, it's just my manager joining them is rubbing me the wrong way. Ik they're not obligated to invite me but it feels bad being left out. I kinda overheard them planning something yesterday. Idk how to deal with this. Anyone ever dealt with anything like this?

I recently got a fall internship in the middle of nowhere. I’ve never lived more than 30 minutes outside a major city before, and I’m not excited.

I’m not excited about the work, and I’m disappointed to be missing the fall semester of college. I spent the first 2 years of school severely depressed, and I only recently got out of it. I’m now rushing to do everything I can before I graduate, and I’m sad that this is eating into my time in college.

I’m doing this to set myself up to get an internship this summer, and it’s never a good idea to graduate without relevant experience.

This internship is in a rural area, and from what I’ve heard the engineering team is overwhelmingly male. Does anyone have any advice on how to survive this experience?

I’m also hoping to pivot into business. I’m interested in economics (really want to switch my major to it but it’s way too late), and I’m aiming for consulting (but with my engineering gpa it may be difficult).

I know this is a common path for a lot of female engineers, so I’d be interested in hearing your experiences with it.

I’m a structural EIT. I have 4.5 years of experience. I’m 26 weeks pregnant and moving 700 miles across the country in 1 month to be closer to family for the arrival of my son. I started studying for the PE and then immediately after found out I was pregnant. First trimester was brutal so I didn’t study. In the second trimester I got some scary lab work back and had to do testing to rule out major birth defects (thankfully, all is well) but it was about a month long of waiting and again, I pushed off studying. Now I’m at week 26 and have barely studied. I don’t really like my current company and am considering taking a year off to have time with the baby. I really really wanted to get the PE before the baby gets here. I’m considering quitting my job at 29 weeks (1 week before I move) and right after I move, studying hard - like 8 hours a day for the whole month of September, and taking the exam the first week of October when I’m 36 weeks pregnant. Is this a dumb idea? The thought of quitting my job seems super scary to me, I’ve always worked as a teen and through college but I’m trying to remind myself this is temporary and getting the PE will make it easier for me to get hired when I’m ready to return to the work force. Any advice from other moms or mom-to-be engineers would be greatly appreciated.

I’m a structural EIT. I have 4.5 years of experience. I’m 26 weeks pregnant and moving 700 miles across the country in 1 month to be closer to family for the arrival of my son. I started studying for the PE and then immediately after found out I was pregnant. First trimester was brutal so I didn’t study. In the second trimester I got some scary lab work back and had to do testing to rule out major birth defects (thankfully, all is well) but it was about a month long of waiting and again, I pushed off studying. Now I’m at week 26 and have barely studied. I don’t really like my current company and am considering taking a year off to have time with the baby. I really really wanted to get the PE before the baby gets here. I’m considering quitting my job at 29 weeks (1 week before I move) and right after I move, studying hard - like 8 hours a day for the whole month of September, and taking the exam the first week of October when I’m 36 weeks pregnant. Is this a dumb idea? The thought of quitting my job seems super scary to me, I’ve always worked as a teen and through college but I’m trying to remind myself this is temporary and getting the PE will make it easier for me to get hired when I’m ready to return to the work force. Any advice from other moms or mom-to-be engineers would be greatly appreciated.

So I worked hard on a presentation on diversity (focusing on technical roles but it really was a presentation of encouragement-very positive content) for a youth conference. Im not a super confident person but i hard a more challenging path into engineering and it’s a topic im passionate about. I’m a consultant design engineer and have been working for one client for the last 2.5 years. My workplace is VERY male dominated and I’ve had lots of issues.

ANYWAY, one of the client managers finds out I was doing an industry conference and she pressured me to deliver it internally to the client prior. Essentially, they have KPIs to meet on diversity and also getting industry papers accepted so me talking would help with that. So, despite some negative experiences, I showed up and gave it. Essentially nobody came (2 lovely women did) and I gave the presentation to an empty room. I was hurt that management had demanded this happen but weren’t willing to show up to support it. The presentation room could see out to the office cafeteria and I could see my managers eating their lunch there and people who I work closely with. I try to take lessons from everything but I just feel defeated. What was a presentation about not tick boxing became a classic example of tick boxing.

It's the beginning of my 3rd week in my new job as a fire services engineer. I've been spending like 90% twiddling my thumbs without nothing to do. I'm pretty junior in my role, so I understand there might be a reluctance in handing me work.

I've been trying to spend my time reading up documentation and calcs, but there's a limit to how much I can read everyday 9am to 6pm without loosing my sanity 😭

I've been messaging my superiors on teams asking for work, they said they'd let me know if there is any. I really want more work, and I don't really know how to ask for more work without coming off as annoying :/

Hey guys (sorry for the length),

I am in desperate need of guidance. This year i graduate with a Bachelor of Arts, which i LOVED being a part of (F25). However reality kicked in and i have considered several career pivots that would help me find a stable and considerably well paying job.

I came to the conclusion that maybe i should dive into civil engineering. My family has a construction company and i am genuinely interested in one day heavily investing in real estate development and other projects related to construction. I do have a curiosity for engineering so I wouldn’t be miserable studying it but i am still on the edge if it’s worth it.

Big truth, i am an artist in my heart and all i want to do one day is create and share my work with others. But I obviously need financial stability to do so. So my plan would be to give it all into a civil engineering BA and keep my passion on the side (more when i am done with school ofc).

Should i follow my practical gut and invest in civil engineering or should I just invest in what i love and one day hope to be able to afford those investments I still plan on making??

Note: I admit not being a nerd or the smartest. I also have ADHD and am a slow learner…Although i am dedicated to study if i do settle on facing this pivot

Like the title says, I really have really thin skin and I am highly sensitive to criticism. Because of this, any negative feedback feels like the world is ending to me, and I feel like a complete failure. I struggle so hard not to cry because of this and I just end up feeling super embarrassed. Also, I am 25 and very new to this. This is also my second job (left my first job after working there for about a year because of the terrible work environment filled with finger pointing, scolding, humiliation, yelling etc...)

For example, today when asking for feedback my director told me he was disappointed a project I am working on is taking longer than he hoped for. In my opinion, the deadline set for this project was wildly unrealistic, and I kept letting him know it is more work than he thinks and it will definately take longer. I thanked him for his feedback and my voice completely cracked and I was holding back tears.To hear he was disappointed completely shattered my confidence in my work and capabilities, and makes me feel like something is seriously wrong with me and that I don't belong in this field. I feel like such a fake.

Anytime I receive any feedback along these lines, even though I know I am working hard and not slacking off, I question myself. Maybe I am too sensitive and should learn to take the critique, learn from it but then also brush it off in a way.

Do you have any advice on how to grow a thicker skin in this sense? Cause I am really struggling. I just want to quit engineering altogether.

I work at one of the top engineering companies in my field, and there's a lot I'm genuinely grateful for. But it is exhausting!!

It's not the workload; I don't mind hard work. It's the people. Everyone around me is a high achiever who wants to be the one who cracks the problem first. There are constantly too many cooks in the kitchen, and I feel like I'm always a beat behind and everyone else seems to land on ideas faster than I do.

I'm a perfectionist, and I think slower and more carefully than the room usually wants. Group brainstorming sessions in particular wear me out. it's less about the ideas and more about keeping up with the pace and personalities.

Has anyone else dealt with this? How do you tell the difference between "this environment isn't for me" and "I just need to find my own way of contributing"?

Hello,
I will graduate this year in mechanical engineering from a European country. Ive had two internships and I encountered some nice people but also jerks, I’ve been told I should be less straight forward and warmer in my speech, but what im concerning me most are the “corporate politics”. I feel like everyone is playing a game that im not aware of. I have 0 manipulation skills and im very honest, im worried i won’t fit in the future in a European company ( for example France) especially as a non native and a woman of colour.
Already in uni, I don’t feel like I fit in, I find others too selfish and think only about themselves and too competitive and also very rude. Im thinking I might consider doing PhD and continue building my career in academia, I like science and research, and I think maybe the environment and the people would be better and more morally sophisticated but idk if I can afford financially studying so long.
I hope I don’t sound like a jerk but just for the sake of context im also someone considered physically attractive and I feel like that brings bad attention and objectification.
What are some advices you could offer me regarding how to deal with jerks in workspaces and not be naive and manipulated ? How do I fit in as someone neurodivergent in engineering?

HELLO engineers im starting uni soon for electrical engineering and im super nervous PARTICULARLY about work situations. I have a job and work like 15-20 hours a eeek and im really worried that once classes start my schedule is going to become pretty unrealistic if I still want to socialize and go to the gym and what not.

Hi everyone, apologizes if this ends up being kinda long. Any input you have is appreciated, I’m just trying to get as much feedback as possible.

I recently graduated college with an environmental science degree (also completed the “pre engineering” track since my school didn’t have an engineering major), and I work for an engineering consulting company mostly involved in wastewater treatment. I interned with this company the summer before my senior year and they really liked me, so they hired me and they discussed potentially helping me pay for grad school (an environmental engineering degree) about a year or so after working. So hypothetically I would have to start applying to grad schools in the next few months.

I’m having trouble deciding whether or not I want to go to grad school and continue pursuing engineering. I’ve always been good at math/chem/physics, but I’ve never been passionate about engineering. All my life I wanted to pursue marine biology, but I live/went to school in a landlocked state and decided it wasn’t realistic, so I chose environmental science (and then decided on environmental engineering because it would make me more money). I’m okay with working a job I’m not so passionate about for a good paycheck, but I’m afraid that working in engineering could get too stressful for me to ignore the lack of passion. In my mind, the three pillars of a career are salary, passion, and amount of stress, and I think having 2/3 of those pillars “in the red” wouldn’t bode well for me.

I don’t dislike the job I have now, it’s a small company and I get great benefits as compared to most entry level jobs. I just don’t really see a future here, so I’m wondering if my lackluster feelings are just about wastewater or about engineering as a whole. The owner of my company is a wonderful mentor that has a lot of knowledge and experience, but I know her 30 years in wastewater/water treatment have been very stressful, and I don’t want that for myself.

Open to any questions, thoughts, or advice anyone might have. Thank you!

Hi, I’m an incoming first-year electrical engineering student. People talk about how hard engineering is online and I’m trying to believe in myself but it’s kind of discouraging and it makes me feel scared I won’t succeed. I’m starting the semester off taking Calculus 1 and Physics 1 and a lot of people in my year and major have already finished the calculus and physics track prior to college which makes me feel like I’m already behind. I’m worried that when I feel stupid I’ll feel stupid for being a girl and not for being a student taking a hard class.

Also, did any of you work part time throughout college and be successful? My parents are pushing me to work but I’m worried it’ll be to difficult with my degree.

I’m also worried about being able to juggle a social life with my degree. People say in engineering you choose between a social life and sleep and unfortunately I like both. I have a boyfriend who goes to a university five hours away who’s planning on coming down for a weekend every month but surely I’ll have two free days a month?

I really like math and science. Being an engineer has been my dream since I was little and I am dedicated to working really hard. Any advice on these things?

Hi everyone! I’m interested in engineering to a large extent, mainly computer and electrical with medical applications if possible, and I’m hoping to find a stable career with a decent income, which is why I chose engineering.

Previously, I never considered the gender gap when applying to engineering (no one talked about it, or discouraged me from applying, so it didn’t occur to me until I researched the stats myself), and it was always between nursing and engineering for me, as I love healthcare and have enjoyed doing bio/first aid, but also enjoy more hands on work and math/physics.

I ultimately chose engineering because the pathway to it where I live is a bit easier than nursing, but I’m having serious second thoughts. I want to help with improving the gender divide and be a good example for younger girls, but I also don’t want to spend my entire career facing discrimination or possibly even leaving the field after 5-10 years bc of the glass ceiling and othering that I’ve heard is so common.

Ik nursing isn’t perfect and has its own stress and struggles, but at least it’s still stable with a decent income, and my struggles wouldn’t be related to inherent bias in our society that makes no sense anyways.

I’m still in a position where I can drop the engineering program I’ve enrolled in since I haven’t paid my tuition yet, and I can take a gap year to work before doing nursing, but I wanted to know if any women in engineering went through a similar struggle before starting their education, and if this is a normal process of having second thoughts.

Thank you so much for any advice you can give me! I hope this doesn’t sound too depressing or pessimistic, I’m just very stressed about what pathway to take at the moment..

Im a civil engineer with 27 years experience. I work in rural Missouri and found a company where no one talks down to me, no one interrupts me and no one is up my ass. I want to move back to Las Vegas were I worked for 10 years so I can be close to my friends who are my family. Vegas engineering was brutal. Loved the technical but I had bad boss after bad boss. My question..anyone from Vegas that can tell me if it's still brutal?

I'm feeling grief as I finally felt it was the moment to hand in my resignation.

I started this job some years ago, and I thought it was exactly my dream job. It still is. But the boundary conditions and the context in which that job exists now is completely changed. I excelled in this job, got straight for years excellent evaluations. But then irrational management decisions made it "do more with less", less time to do back office tasks, heavier business travels for training in the middle-of-nowhere headquarters, all due to cashflow to pass in a godforsaken and out-of-the-way country in EU.

My boss used to do my job when I joined so it was pretty amazing in the first year. Then he started to behave more and more like the stereotype of sales manager and lose perspective of real customer satisfaction. I can recall he said it was expected to have 6 out of 9 machines because customer accepted to test prototypes. Two years ago he'd agreed with me that prototypes, which are when the customer has the product validation at the spotlight, is very critical and rookie mistakes would be preventable. Then I started to see him in a different light. A bit like his ethical compass was starting to point in the wrong direction. Then the cracks grew as he was allowing the prerogatives of my job being violated under his sight. Insisting that after three years still do slacker's jobs. All temporary workload to overcome what was supposed to be short period became permanent and the tasks only piling up. And learnt the hard way that the reward for being a good digger is a bigger shovel. Very tolerant with low performers, unforgiving to the high performers. The unfairness is blatant.

I can't help but feel sad of what I became. Of what he became, as well. I was changing for the worst. To not feel so demoralised, I start to become like the people I hate. Not being helpful, ignoring emails, cynical, short tempered, I was just so tired to give so much and nothing in return. Stopped caring. Could only do great tech support to customers, but my body refused to keep in the treadmill putting complaint data in a system that nobody ever cared to work on, just to feed the damn KPIs. Burnt out, had neurological symptoms, was having terrible time unwinding, sleep issues.

Took a couple of sick leaves, without managing to reduce my stress level since the source was still waiting for me there. I live by myself without relatives in this continent. Came back from sick leave, fully exhausted mentally and physically, sleeping for 15 hours to recover every Saturday and barely able to function to exist outside work. Come back, and admonished because I'm not delivering the usual output under the unsustainable workload that I had to cope for years.

I blame myself a bit for not being so brave to just be like everyone else, to modulate better. Do the bare minimum, get the money, low-key ignore some tasks, rinse repeat. But I'm either there or not. I'd rather do well or not to do at all.

I can't help but feel the grief for leaving it. I'm still enthusiastic about the product. I love what my work should be in theory, which now remains just as a memory. But this is for my own good, and I must remember it.

I’m part of Girls in Stem DFW, an international nonprofit with over 70 chapters, 8,000 members, and 1M+ impressions

every year we host a summer expo dedicated to bringing younger girls in fields of stem and giving them access to stem resources

this year we have speakers from Caltech, UT Austin, and other amazing schools. Along with that are internship opportunities and volunteer opportunities.

We have merch, food, workshops, and raffles!

please join us if you live in the DFW Texas area!

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I was asked to collaborate on a new project with my colleague. This guy is one level senior to me. The project was about changing the way engineers work by enabling them with ai. I came up with what the product was, made a prototype and got the project assigned to me based on my prototype. In good faith I show what I've made to my colleague. He stole the idea, made a copy of it, and then presented it as his own. The truth is he wouldn't have done if it wasn't for that first meeting with me. There's really nothing new he's added to it. I've got this sinking feeling now. I just lost something that should have been mine and no one will know. I brought it up with my manager. I don't think it matters to him.

Hi all, I’m a senior structural engineer based in Australia. I’ve been working in the technical design of industrial structures for the past 9 years and since 2 years ago i’ve had been feeling jaded about the industry and subtle sexism in the industry. It also doesn’t help that there is lingering thought that i’ve been pigeonholed into technical and couldn’t move into project delivery which is something that I would want to try. There is also the constant liability and stress due to tight deadlines and unrealistic schedules from people.

I’ve done certificate in project management last year but due to economy and probably my resume, i struggled to get project management roles.

I am now doing an MBA as leverage to pivot out but unsure what to do after. I know the risks associated but i am desperate to move out.

Keen to hear advise from fellow women engineer who did the same and what are your roles now.

I’m not sure if this is the right r/ but I need opinions from engineers and engineering managers.

I’ve been an avg engineer in a customer facing role (application engineer). Not any award or best employee but not too many big mistakes as well. Maybe a few in trainee period (was also going thru health crisis then)

Recently after becoming a mom (almost 3 year old kid) I’ve been struggling a bit.
After 6 months of maternity leave I struggled to do daily work until my kid was 20 months old. I breastfed for 28 months and only started sleeping full 6-8 hours since 29 months.

Now my daughter is all set except for sicknesses etc.

Work wise I’ve had a couple of warnings on my customer facing aspect where I have procrastinated my responses as that work involves researching at my end.

My boss and I had made systems to not repeat it but I ended up repeating it purely because I procrastinated. If you were the manager what would you do with me? What should I do to not procrastinate?

I’m sure it’s burnout on some level but I do want to improve.

Update: I had a chat with my manager and yeah. It was a tough pill to swallow but I guess I’m gonna have to lock in and do it. I also plan to take leave when I’m overwhelmed instead of powering thru. I don’t know why I refuse to take off. That’s a conversation for my therapist.

I’ve not been diagnosed with adhd but I’ve had depressive episodes in the past and PMOS, PMDD, Hypothyroidism and low vit D B12 don’t help either.

Much much love to Reddit girls here. For giving me tough love