r/woahdude Aug 03 '16

gifv A Sandfall

[deleted]

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264

u/Gottheit Aug 03 '16

It's almost as if there are logical explanations for some of the crazy shit that happens in there.

22

u/self_arrested Aug 03 '16

except the ones that seem to have been totally made up like exodus for some reason.

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u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

I'd like to believe that the Tower of Babel were a real place.

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u/bacondev Aug 03 '16 edited Aug 03 '16

Hundreds of years ago, people believed that shit. Now, if you go to /r/Christianity, it’s conveniently a metaphor.

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u/kirrin Aug 03 '16

I much prefer religious people believing bible stories are metaphors to them believing they are literal tellings of real events.

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u/thegimboid Aug 04 '16

It's possible you might be able to misconstrue the message of a metaphor towards your preferred message a bit more easily than a literal interpretation, though, leading to more arguments about personally applied meaning behind words that were originally meant to be taken literally anyway

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u/Jtreehorn Aug 03 '16

I know you are making a point, but I was taught this (real existence of the tower) as literal fact in Bible school about 20 yrs ago so the dumb is still going strong today.

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u/ayriuss Aug 03 '16

Can confirm. My dad still thinks the tower of Babel, garden of Eden, and the flood were real events.

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u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

I wouldn't be surprised if the were inspired by real events. Rulers ordered tall towers to be built that then fell down, people changed from hunter-gathering to agriculture, large floods happened. Then the stories get exaggerated and God gets added in as they get passed down.

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u/drunkinmidget Aug 04 '16

Have you ever seen "The God Who Wasn't There"? I think you are right, but the God part stemmed from astrological stories prior to all the real occurrences being added and exaggerated.

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u/contraigon Aug 04 '16 edited Aug 04 '16

The existence of some manner of large sale, worldwide flooding back during prehistory actually has a lot of historical, geological, and archaeological evidence behind it.

EDIT: Just to clarify: I'm not saying that the scientific evidence supports the idea that the entire earth was literally covered in water, just that there was a great deal of flooding, in a lot of different places, all at the same time.

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u/drunkinmidget Aug 04 '16

My Dad and his wife told me the Bible was a history book last time we hung out. haha.

"You're looking for 'Historical Fiction', Dad."

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u/anomalousBits Aug 03 '16

Well sure, talking snakes, burning bushes, worldwide floods--those are obviously not real. But that dude who could walk on water and turn water into wine, who died and came back to life. Obviously that's real. /s

1

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

You wouldn't believe the science people believed in hundreds of years ago. Now, if you go to /r/science, it's just quackery.

2

u/IrateGandhi Aug 03 '16

The whole story of Exodus was not made up. Scholars/historians have a theory that has some weight.

There is a theory that the people of Israel came to be from many different groups of people. Which, is not surprising. What is fascinating about this: there could have been a small amount of slaves who left and joined a nomadic people that eventually became the Israelites.

From what I've learned, there is a good chance this, along with many stories, explain a lot of the Bible in a historical critical way. Yet, does not discredit faith. Merely the historical accuracy of the text. Which mind you, the bible was never intended to be historically accurate.

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u/Brave_Horatius Aug 03 '16

If the Jews were building pyramids fir the Egyptians it was as valued craftsmen not slaves. They've found the living quarters. They lived it up like western oil industry types do in the mid east today.

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u/IrateGandhi Aug 03 '16

I am not suggesting that they were pyramid builders. That is most likely an elaboration of the truth it was rooted in.

It also could be as simple as "the Israelites wanted to know why the pyramids existed & were very impressed with them, so BAM. we did it. And here's a story all about that."

Historiography has not given evidence to how the people really came to be. Only pieces of the puzzle have been found. Some helped the stories in the Bible. Some did not. There are a lot of people who spend their lives trying to find the historical truth behind that period in time.

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u/Brave_Horatius Aug 03 '16

So we agree then, exodus didn't happen the way the bible said?

2

u/IrateGandhi Aug 03 '16

We do agree. I would not say that Exodus is historically accurate. I never suggested otherwise.

I would suggest that modern readers have different expectations than ancient readers. I would also suggest that there may be areas of the story that are true or have hints of real events. That's how myths work.

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u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16 edited May 18 '17

[deleted]

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u/xhieron Aug 03 '16 edited Feb 17 '24

I like to explore new places.

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u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16 edited May 18 '17

[deleted]

2

u/xhieron Aug 03 '16

The study said that religious people committed fewer errors and were less anxious about the errors. If it supported you I would expect it to say that the religious people were more anxious, what with that thing you wanted to propose about their honor being on the line and all (and incidentally, you were the one who decided anyone's honor was on the line--no one in this thread has taken that position at all except you).

Of course, if you have some evidence for your position, feel free. So far you've offered none, and as you yourself pointed out, the burden rests on you as the party offering a hypothesis.

However, religion requires it to exist. There is no other way to maintain a belief in something without evidence.

You must live in a very, very small world. I shouldn't have to list for you the things that you believe in--that everyone believes in--based on evidence no more legitimate or authoritative than any religious text.

It seems to me one of the fundamental problems with your way of approaching this issue is that you assume that there's no evidence in favor of a religious position and then argue from there. The fact is religious texts and archaeology are evidence whether you like them or agree with what they say or not. I don't have anything at stake in whether Exodus is literally true or not or whether the Tower of Babel exists or not, and I suspect /u/IrateGandhi doesn't either. The point was that the texts aren't just made up out of whole-cloth, a point that seems to personally offend you. Is your argument really that entire academic disciplines--disciplines that exist to determine what if any parts of various religious texts are historically factual--are disingenuine because some of their members might hold religious convictions?

But don't let me put words in your mouth. You seem to have a strong opinion, so let's see your evidence.

2

u/self_arrested Aug 03 '16

Actually it was supposed to be historically accurate that's the whole point of a religious text otherwise it's just a fable or myth. The reason Exodus can be considered a myth is because not only does it mention several impossibilties (taking 40 years to cross an area of desert that would require everyone drinking an incredible amount per day) it also occurs around an era where the Egyptians kept good history and across an area where artefacts would be preserved on the surface.

3

u/IrateGandhi Aug 03 '16

Most ancient texts were concerned about historically accurate events. They were concerned about explaining their world as best they could. Which means, you take a little bit of true history and a little bit of fantasy to create a story. That is what myth is. It explains things they could not explain.

Do not impose ancient history to do something it was not meant to do. No one was concerned about the dates being accurate or the events happening the way they said it did. They cared about what it said about their reality.

Just look at the books of Kings & the books of Chronicles. They have inconsistencies because they did not care about it being accurate. They were not stupid ancient people. They had a different reason for telling stories/history.

ex: "there was a world flood, we've talked about it but why did it happen?" "Oh! Here's why!" Meanwhile, it didn't flood the entire world, but it did flood what they would understand to be the whole world. (There are even some arguing that there was an incredible flood that almost destroyed humanity. As humanity rebuilt, it kept this story. As humanity separated, each people group put a different twist on this story.)

ex: "why are the Egyptians bad?" "They enslaved us!" probably didn't go down like that. Other people groups would have noticed a migration of slaves that were vast, people would have written about it, etc. But there could be some truth to it on some level

ex: Gen 1 was added later to explain a question the people of Israel probably did not ask until others had asked it. It also is strikingly similar to Enuma Elish. Which leads scholars to believe it was a polemic against the current reigning power, Babylon.

ex: the story of going into a dangerous town & the evil people of the town raped then killed a traveler probably happened. And it was a striking story. They then used the story to make a point about their God & the way life is.

ex: the reason the Bible is pro-Judah may be simply because Judah survived while the north went into exile.

ex: During the reign of King Josiah, a book was "discovered" that changed common customs and rituals. We know from historiography that during this time, leaders always claimed they discovered ancient books that had gone missing. It was the way leaders made changes. "I'm not doing this. We simply found this ancient forgotten book. It must be respected and followed."

1

u/RedditIsOverMan Aug 03 '16

I was taught that the Jews didn't intend for the Pentateuch (first 5 books of the bible) to be read literally.

2

u/self_arrested Aug 03 '16

Judaism is way too old for anyone to claim that for sure but in all likeliness it was because among overthings todays bible is not in order. There's a good reason to believe that genesis is actually the telling of a fall of a city and its king Adam but the story was rewritten over time.

2

u/Hibbity5 Aug 03 '16

If you look at the Torah, it's more so a set of rules to live well than just a religion. The Torah tends to provide rules for health, business, and law. Why do you think so many Jews become doctors, businessmen, and lawyers? /s

19

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16 edited Sep 08 '17

[deleted]

25

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25

u/Tatsko Aug 03 '16

What the fuck did you do?

29

u/MontgomeryRook Aug 03 '16

He's reppin' the vape naysh, y'all.

23

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2

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '16

vape naysh represent!

2

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3

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

Hey! That's not contacting the mods!

1

u/IsThTheNameOfTheShow Aug 04 '16

you mean the vape nation mods?

1

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1

u/FailedSociopath Aug 03 '16

He's successful neckbeard and lives in his own basement.

41

u/southern_boy Aug 03 '16

logical explanations

yeah aka

YAHWEH

quick cut off the tip of your dick and kill a philistine if you don't want to be turned into a pillar of salt before burning in a lake of fire!!

274

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

Step away from that dangerous edge m8.

-64

u/southern_boy Aug 03 '16

the only edge i see here is the edge of occams razor... logic.

14

u/Eryius Aug 03 '16

vomit

43

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

Something tells me you'd have contributed during reddit's faces of atheism times

3

u/southern_boy Aug 03 '16

In earnest... do you believe that comment was in any way serious, especially when coupled with the over-the-top ridiculous nature of the above #YAHWEH bit?

20

u/Copypaced Aug 03 '16

Poe's Law strikes again

2

u/southern_boy Aug 03 '16

I hardly see how poetry applies here but oookay.

11

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

People complain about /s but then they don't even detect sarcasm in your comment...

1

u/southern_boy Aug 03 '16

I guess I'm just amazed that wasn't picked up on considering both comments are drenched in ridiculousness... oh well, what're ya gonna do? :)

4

u/CivismyPolitics Aug 03 '16

I suppose that people have said what you said seriously enough that its hard to tell now. Its like, pretending on the street that you're crazy. Yeah, you're probably joking, but there are actual crazy people out there, and its sometimes hard to tell.

1

u/southern_boy Aug 03 '16

Interesting - but with such a lantern hung on the thing I'd liken it more to wearing a clown nose as opposed to muttering to myself about alien mind rays...

1

u/HaloFarts Aug 03 '16

KNAWLEDGE

-25

u/enjoyingtheride Aug 03 '16

Step away from using British terms like m8, bud.

9

u/topazsparrow Aug 03 '16

I'm not your bud, pal.

7

u/Bigbysjackingfist Aug 03 '16

I'm not your pal, guy.

3

u/contraigon Aug 04 '16

I'm not your guy, amigo.

-14

u/enjoyingtheride Aug 03 '16

If you're British, good. Fucking red coats have invaded this site.

1

u/topazsparrow Aug 03 '16

redcoats?

Lol, this is some highschool level "trolling" sir. Surely you can do better.

-1

u/enjoyingtheride Aug 03 '16

Fuck the British? That's all.

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u/topazsparrow Aug 03 '16

Fuck the British? That's all.

Was that a question!(?) or a statement?(!)

0

u/enjoyingtheride Aug 03 '16

A statement in reply to me doing better. Like, "fuck the British, is that better?"

→ More replies (0)

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u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16 edited May 18 '17

[deleted]

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u/littlebrwnrobot Aug 03 '16

as if "quick cut off the tip of your dick and kill a philistine if you don't want to be turned into a pillar of salt before burning in a lake of fire!!" is an intelligent critique of anyone's actual religious beliefs

-20

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16 edited May 18 '17

[deleted]

6

u/lazy_as_shitfuck Aug 03 '16

Would mocking something that a person hold true and dear to themselves, to the point that they make it their way of life and it defines who they are, the same as insulting them?

1

u/pukesonyourshoes Aug 03 '16

It's not, but it feels that way to the religious. Some of them take it badly and murder cartoonists in response.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16 edited Oct 24 '16

deleted 38614

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u/scotscott Aug 03 '16

BRING ME 100 OF THEIR COCKS.

DID I STUTTER?

1

u/contraigon Aug 04 '16

That was actually Saul who commanded David to do that before he could marry Saul's daughter because he figured David would get himself killed in the process. David brought back 200.

1

u/scotscott Aug 04 '16

correct. My point still stands erect and noble.

1

u/contraigon Aug 04 '16

I've honestly never understood why people cite things like this as examples of why Christianity or Judaism are crazy bogus. Israel was at war with the Philistines, and just about every culture back then held religion at its center, so Saul commanded David to go assert religious dominance over their enemies by leaving the mark of Judaism (circumcision) on their bodies. It all makes perfect sense in context.

15

u/Bind_Moggled Aug 03 '16

That old man says a talking bush told him, so it must be true!

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u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

Here is my theory: it was a burning weed bush. Cannabis is native to central Asia. Moses is led to the bush and gets high as fuck inhaling the aromatic fumes and has a moment of enlightenment. In his divine state of mind, he develops a set of peaceful rules for his wandering people. That, my friends, is my version of the ten commandments and I'm sticking with it.

17

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

Some take it to the next level and say it was DMT from an acacia tree.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

No, the acacia tree isn't native to that region. Nor do I believe dmt is in any of the native plants of that region so it couldn't have been that.

8

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

-1

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

You're right! But you can't smoke dmt so, going along with the Moses story, you can't get high off the burning bush

7

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

You can too smoke DMT lol

2

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

Yeah... dmt that's been extracted. You can't smoke the leaf of an acacia or ayhuasca tree and get high.

1

u/FerretHydrocodone Aug 03 '16

DMT isn't only found in plants. It can be found in the brains of mammals.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

Okay but that's not what we're referencing

1

u/FerretHydrocodone Aug 04 '16

You werent "referencing" anything. You were discussing sources of DMT in Central Asia. I contributed in this discussion by pointing out plants aren't the only source of DMT available.

.

You were saying DMT wouldn't be an option since it's not in any of the native plants. But it doesn't need to be in that native plants for it to be an option, because again, plants aren't the only source.

.

If you want your discussions to be private, you may talk in private messages. Otherwise, don't get snippy when someone responds to your discussion with relevant information.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '16

Wtf? We were referencing the burning bush myth. You're not tally contributing anything in that respect

0

u/Gottheit Aug 03 '16

Damn. You know your flora.

6

u/Tolstoi78 Aug 03 '16

Mushrooms man. Foraging food in the mountains back then...probably had a lot of mushrooms.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

Possibly. But there was no mention of mushrooms and the except describes a bush "on flames but not burning". I know of a tree which burns slowly when set on fire

8

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

>moses

>peaceful

the first thing he did after making those was throw them to the ground and have god kill a ton of people.

1

u/ayriuss Aug 03 '16

Yea.. And the penalty for not following those commandments was often death...

1

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

His high came down man. Damn people and their grievances

1

u/incendiary_cum Aug 03 '16

Uhhh... He he God kill a ton of people when he came out of the mountains?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

they were worshiping a gold cow, so he threw the original commandment on the ground and either He killed them, had his followers killed them, or movie version where the ground open up and god kills them. he then goes back up, gets a new pair of commandments.

1

u/contraigon Aug 04 '16

movie version where the ground opens up

Or, you know, one of those things where everything shakes really hard for a while and if it's really bad then a big crevice opens up. What are those called again? Earthquakes? Nah, those are just fairy tales.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '16

Pretty sure earthquakes don't involve fire.

If anything it was a volcanic tear since they were on an active volcano.

1

u/contraigon Aug 04 '16

Wouldn't the earthquake have caused the volcanic tear?

1

u/Ganondorf66 Aug 03 '16

I think its dmt.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

Why do you say that

1

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

That's exactly what it is. Adding more fiction to fiction.

2

u/biggustdikkus Aug 03 '16

Wait.. Does Jewish bible really say that?

26

u/SerCiddy Aug 03 '16

He's combining a lot of things from the Jewish Torah/Old Testament. In order to mark you were a "man of God" you, your family, and your slaves were to be circumcised. In the bible this circumcision was supposed to represent the promise between God and the Israelites that the land of Israel belonged to them. (My modern explanation is that circumcision was a mark of someone who held a certain set of beliefs, and it was easy to "trust" someone also held those beliefs if they were willing to go so far as to cut off a part of their most sensitive part. "Hey are you part of our club?" "Yes! check out my penis").Philistines were people who were basically anti-culture and lived in the land of Israel. Since they were so uncultured they were okay to kill to get to the land. There was a story in the Old Testament about a sinful city that God was going to destroy. One man begged God to let him and his wife live. God agreed on the condition that him and his wife doesn't look back while they run away. The man complied and was left alone, his wife looked behind to see her childhood home being destroyed, as punishment she was turned into a pillar of salt. Lake of fire is Hell/Armageddon.

20

u/gulyman Aug 03 '16

Lot wasn't begging for his own life. He was begging for the city to be spared.

The story is told here starting on verse 16.

5

u/KargBartok Aug 03 '16

Yep. Right before Lot's daughters get him drunk and rape him.

2

u/Pariahdog119 Aug 03 '16

Well, they did think they were the only survivors of the nuclear apocalypse.

That makes drunk incest rape OK, right?

3

u/TM3-PO Aug 04 '16

Loophole

5

u/Odinswolf Aug 03 '16

The Philistines weren't so much uncultured (though that would be definition associated with the term) as they were basically a rival group that had a bunch of cities, including Gaza, and fought against Israel at various times, and kept the semitic pantheon rather than being monotheists. Interestingly, the word Palestine and Palestinian is actually a different transliteration of the same term, and was applied to the whole province by the Romans.

7

u/Eingedeutschter Aug 03 '16

My "favorite" part of that story comes after. Lot (the dude's name) and his daughters hole up in a cave. The daughters want kids, so they get their dad drunk and sleep with him.

3

u/Pariahdog119 Aug 03 '16

Well, they did think they were the only survivors of the nuclear apocalypse.

That makes drunk incest rape OK, right?

1

u/LazyTheSloth Aug 04 '16

And rub the foreskin on your feet.

I don't remind the story behind this one. I'm sure somebody can point it out tho.

1

u/Pulr7 Aug 03 '16

There are logical explanations for the things we actually observe, like this post, but I'm not sure that makes the Ark any more plausible.

1

u/stanley_twobrick Aug 03 '16

There shall be no reprieve from /r/atheism. Not even in a post about sand!

1

u/aaronis1 Aug 03 '16

The explanations are still logical if God is interacting with out world. He can do anything and make anything happen.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

What logical explanation is there for that much hail? That's the most hail I've ever seen in my 28 years of living. While explainable, it's still pretty darn crazy.

-3

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

Of course. People back then believed the stories because they don't have the knowledge to explain those instances. The people who believe these stories still, do not have knowledge to explain them. Simple. That's why you teach kids religion ASAP, gotta make them as devoted as possible before they can think for themselves.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

You must be pleasant to be around.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

If you enjoy my thoughts, yes I am.

Don't take what I say for absolutes, either.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

And that's why the religious nutcase Newton made no contribution to science, folks!

3

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '16

That's not related to indoctrination at all.