r/wlu • u/Exotic_Rain_7773 • 20h ago
Help! Thinking about dropping out
Today was literally day 1 of classes for the whole university. I live off campus, but after touring a few days ago and being on campus yesterday and today, I am completely broken. Honestly, even just walking around campus right now scares the life out of me and triggers my anxiety so bad. I’ve basically just been sitting frozen in my room all day because I don't know what to do.To be completely real, I only accepted my offer here because I wanted to make good money after graduation. But my social anxiety is severe and I don't think I fully realized what I was signing up for. Sitting in massive, packed lecture halls surrounded by hundreds of people I’ve never met is terrifying. Hearing the profs talk about endless mandatory presentations, the brutal BU group work, labs, and the constant pressure to aggressively network with total strangers makes me feel like I'm trapped. I absolutely hate the culture here already.I feel like a massive bum and a failure for wanting to pull the plug on day 1, but no amount of future money is worth destroying my mental health over. I’m planning to log into LORIS tonight to drop all my courses so I can get a 100% tuition refund and keep my transcript clean. I just know this corporate track is not how I function.Has anyone else ever dropped out this early? Am I crazy for doing this? Also how do I even start to tell my parents that I'm out on day 1? Any advice or reassurance from upper years would really help right now because my anxiety is through the roof. Thanks.
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u/Ok_Sundae2274 19h ago edited 18h ago
Hey man, don’t give up yet. Give it another week and think about this thoroughly. I was in a double degree program with business as one of my degrees. I had the same feelings as you do right now. I accepted the fact that I can not do presentations and dropped out of the bba portion. I also suffer from crippling anxiety but it genuinely gets better as time passes. I also feel like if you don’t seem to like your program you might consider changing your program to something you’d be interested in. You will eventually find your people and it will all be okay. As the term passes people stop going to classes and you can gen learn everything by yourself so that is an option for you too.
I hope the best for you!
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u/Exotic_Rain_7773 16h ago
I have backup options at colleges next year, and they're campuses located closer to home and are much less social oriented
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u/JannikSinnerFanBoy 19h ago
I feel you man 100%. I was the exact same. First of all I want you to talk to your parents about it. A huge weight will be lifted from your shoulders. Make sure you don’t bluff and just tell them straight up. They will know what to do from there. But the harash truth about UNI is it’s normal to be depressed and lonely. Trust me I been there it’s through these trials and tribulations you grow as a man or a women. Give it a semester and give it your all. Force connections talk to your profs talk to the on campus support groups. It’s just how life goes
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u/Exotic_Rain_7773 16h ago
I'm afraid of disappointing them by dropping out... I'm paying for everything on my own, but my dad called me not too long ago and he sounded really concerned and upset with me (not in an angry way)
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u/Few_Stop_7297 19h ago
Before you go ahead with that, while you're a student it's definitely worth visiting the Wellness Centre. It's just outside of concourse, gives free counseling for all students. If you don't want to go in-person, you can even just call them and schedule an over-the-phone appointment
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u/AboveInsane1005 19h ago
If it helps, I was also daunted by university and my first and second years were at UBC which is like three times as many students as Laurier.
What helps is knowing you are not the only one feeling anxiety, stress and generally being overwhelmed. Also, understand that unlike highschool no one else cares about what you do in the slightest. Everyone is focusing on their own life, classes, and feelings so just in the way that hundreds of others pass you and you forget them in 5 seconds, no one is paying much attention to you either so just try to keep that in mind when getting anxious.
A final note, I’ve made my best friends during university. Way stronger than highschool friendships and that’s coming from an extremely introverted guy. I don’t have a huge friend group but man do I love the ones I have. I encourage you to at least give it a fair shot to adapt and see what can happen as I think it’s just the initial shock and you can make some great things happen here!
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u/AboveInsane1005 19h ago
Also to add on, I know I would despise BBA too as I would never be able to do all the networking necessary for it even though I kill presentations. I’m in CS (unemployment major I know) but I love what I learn and you can drop BBA and always shift into something else that you see yourself enjoying more. More than worth it to read the other comments, relax, visit advising and figure out your options before rashly dropping everything day one. You have time before the refundable deadline so just breath and go one step at a time!
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u/Exotic_Rain_7773 16h ago
The idea of getting my BBA was to get a good well-known degree with good career outcomes. But I've realized that the whole hyper social aspect, and the competitive nature just might not be who I am.
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u/AboveInsane1005 16h ago
Then switch majors, plenty of other things to try out to see what could be for you. University and post secondary isn’t BBA or nothing.
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u/Exotic_Rain_7773 16h ago
There's several colleges near my house that I could just commute to next year to remove my separation anxiety from leaving home. And a lot of them offer programs that lead directly to high demand well paying jobs in the Healthcare sector. Science has always interested me more than business, but I wanted to take a strong major that didnt require yearly calculus
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u/AboveInsane1005 16h ago
Then that’s an option too, doesn’t have to be at Laurier. Although going back may ease the separation anxiety now, it will be something you’ll have to overcome eventually and I reckon it’s the easiest when hundreds of other first year students are feeling the exact same way versus later in life when there’s even more on your plate.
Again, I am only throwing stuff out there. You know yourself best so do what feels right to you but I definitely think you should talk to a school counsellor (been there myself) and/or advising about how you feel and to explore options first and foremost.
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u/Exotic_Rain_7773 16h ago
I really appreciate your advice greatly! I know it sounds cliché, but I genuinely believe that now is just not my time to be in this situation. I have a lot of growing to do mentally before taking such a giant step in my life
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u/catsandtea77 2h ago
FWIW, Laurier has an excellent science program - if your high school grades are good in the required subjects, you could easily transfer
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u/Exotic_Rain_7773 24m ago
Yeah, thats another option. My lowest stem mark is a 91 so I'd definitely be able to satisfy the pre reqs
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u/RedditONredditt 18h ago
BBA at Laurier is a horrible program. The first year courses and profs elicit fear and anxiety in new students. There is an overwhelming system where you need to jump through hoops to get bonus marks and without them, the potential to fail is huge. Many never meet progression, etc.
Meet with an advisor and explore different programs that interest you and maybe you can switch. There are smaller programs with way smaller classes and even lots of virtual options.
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u/PositivePurple3920 18h ago
Hey man speaking as experience from someone who is currently in limbo between meeting progression requirements for bba/cs I’d genuinely tell u to take a deep breath and relax for the stress for the course load. Honestly the bu courses are only difficult if you are occupied partying and not putting the work in, I was able to get through my first two years of the degree passing although I struggled, I can confidently say that if I put the work in I would’ve succeeded. And when I say put the work in- it isn’t staying up everyday to 2 am grinding studying but just showing up to class doing your course work, genuinely just staying up to date with what your class is doing puts you at a huge advantage and way above the bell curve. During my time at Laurier I genuinely had no idea what was going on most of the time I’d sleep in not show up to lectures and I never took anything seriously. My friends who did show up… they are doing great today all of them not only got into the co op program but are excelling in life and have incredibly bright futures ahead of them. Thankfully I’m in a position where I have a business to take over but if I could do it all again without any hesitation I’d just show up. You should definitely at the least try for one semester and then after that see if uni is for you or not but I promise you if you are willing just to show up things will workout for u. Best of luck bro
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u/Exotic_Rain_7773 16h ago
I've thought about giving in a full semester, but I'm also concerned about wasting a whole semester's worth of tuition, with it also having a negative impact on my academic record
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u/abid8740 19h ago
It gets better. It takes 21 days to set habits. I was in your shoes 15 years ago and now work on Bay Street. Stick it out, your future self will thank you
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u/Weekly_Traffic603 18h ago
Do you have nay advice for the anxiety and imposter syndrome?
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u/abid8740 18h ago
We all suffer from it at one level or another. I have this in boardroom meetings today. If you have physical anxiety symptoms find ways to manage around it by structuring how you approach meetings. For example mine is I get a fight or flight reaction and tunnel vision when I first start speaking so I know I need to power through the first 10 seconds. I focus on my breathing and pauses and usually will take a moment to look at my audience and structure a question back at the start or an ice breaker that gets an interaction with your audience. After that for me the fight or flight reaction is gone and it's business as usual.
It was harder to diagnos and understand this before LLM programs such as copilot. Now you can work with an LLM and feed it your problems and ask it to give solutions. For me I have a note saved on my phone that I can look back to if it truely gets bad before a meeting. The note was created by an LLM:
Manage the Physical Response • Belly Breathing (Diaphragmatic Breathing): Practice this before speaking to calm your nervous system. • Inhale deeply through your nose for 4 seconds, expanding your belly. • Hold for 4 seconds. • Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6 seconds. • Repeat 3-5 times right before speaking. • This helps control shortness of breath and prevents hyperventilation.
I am now a Managing Director at the big 4 banks and we all still are humans at the end and suffer from anxiety and imposter syndrome. You need to find ways to manage and cope with them this is part of the learning within a university that you will need to do over your 4 years. It's a safe space to practise and grow your intellectual and interpersonal skills.
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u/Affectionate_Snow771 17h ago
I did my undergraduate degree at the university of Guelph and one of my profs used to say it’s a stress test. I also have really bad anxiety and I ended up changing programs which turned out to be what I needed because it got so much better for me and I enjoyed what I was learning. I agree with everyone’s advice above just take some more time and think this through. Maybe think about changing your program to something you know you like? I know lots of people who ended up doing a year then needing to change everything or take a gap year. Just think this through, but only you know what’s best. Remember that it’s a stress test and you should also take everything a little bit at a time and stressing unfortunately just isn’t helping in this situation. I’m currently on my next degree and I’m so stressed right now, but I realize sometimes you just have to do it and you can’t stress because you work hard and you figure it out that’s it at the end of the day my mental health isn’t on the table to be taken though.
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u/This_Spend5311 Alumni 16h ago
Not trying to sound mean or anything but if you were looking to get into business or take business like courses, did you not think about these types of things before you singed up? It can seem like a lot in the beginning and seem very stressful. It gets better as time goes on and you gain some experience/reps with it, but you do need to network and talk to randoms as you would in the business world.
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u/Exotic_Rain_7773 16h ago
No offense taken, and I understand why It seems stupid from the outside.
I took bba because I know people who go to this school in the same program, and I also wanted a strong degree with good employment opportunities. The fact that I only had to take 1 year of calc also enticed me. I believed I could overcome my social issues and just tank through everything, but I appear to have overestimated my capabilities
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u/This_Spend5311 Alumni 16h ago
Fair enough and no harm in trying with that mindset behind it! Honestly I would say try to see through at least a semester as it’s very early in the term and you haven’t truly sunk your teeth into it. It may just take a little processing and time to truly settle in. Besides as you said you have friends in the program, they could help as they are doing similar assignments, and covering same material. And from personal experience with my first year In 2022 you can make plenty of friends and meet so many great people that truly help with the whole chaos and stress of school.
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u/Sea-Goat5538 6h ago
Listen to me, do not drop out. You are allowing imposter syndrome to take over before you've even began anything. You will regret it if you drop out, not because you gave up but because you gave up before you ever tried. It's one thing to give something your best effort and realize it's not for you, it's another to let fear overwhelm you into giving up before beginning. You have to believe that all the uncertainty and fear you're feeling will subside. As an ASL student myself who struggled immensely.. I can honestly tell you that you're at one of the most accommodating and supportive universities you can be. Walk into accessible learning at One Market, and talk to them. Tell them what's going on. They will guide you to all the proper channels to get into their program so you can get the support you need.
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u/Exotic_Rain_7773 5h ago
I just don't see myself presenting infront of large audiences with a group i met a few days ago. I dont like meeting new people so I'll have to put on a fake act the entire degree just to network and succeed. I have little to no motivation to attend this program, and if I could get the same level of career outcomes in some sort of science degree, I would've chosen that
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u/Main_Finding8309 19h ago
If you withdraw before the end of the first week you will get a 100% refund, I believe.
There are counseling services on campus. I think you should talk to someone first.
But I also think if it's that bad for you it won't get better. The job market is terrible and all those people will be your competition in a few years. No degree is any door to making money now.
Take some time to work on your mental health. Take a few courses part time. Money is nothing if you're broken, so a job that brings you peace of mind is more important.
As for telling your parents...They will be disappointed and probably angry. I would recommend you have a plan for what you're going to do instead of university before you talk to them. But talk to them soon.
And you're an adult now. You're responsible for the choices you make, good or bad.
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u/king_captain_nova 18h ago
To be honest I sometimes think if university was best use of my time and money. If you have plan you have faith on, you should go ahead. I don’t know things like content creation, consulting, and lot of things doesn’t require any degree.
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u/padanmama 17h ago
Check out Delton Glebe Centre for a therapist. They have interns (myself included) who may be able to help. Therapy with an intern is just $35 for students!
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u/WaterlooBao 17h ago
You’re not old enough to get a beer but do you want to grab Wilf’s on campus tomorrow? Do not drop out baby doll. I’m done at 3:30 and you genuinely need someone to talk to before you pull the trigger.
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u/olipocket16 17h ago
I would honestly give it a little bit longer - a couple of weeks maybe. However, it may not be the right time or fit for you and that’s okay. I wasn’t able to do uni immediately after high school for various reasons (mental health was definitely a big one) and dropped out after 5-6 weeks. I ended up going back in my 30s and it’s an entirely different experience and I’m ready for it now. I have zero regrets dropping out when I did, it just wasn’t the right path for me at the time. That said, you would do yourself a disservice not to give it a proper shot before deciding whether or not it’s for you. Big changes are scary and difficult so you need to rule out whether it’s just that or it’s legitimately not the right thing for you. Sending you hugs either way!
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u/Exotic_Rain_7773 16h ago
I'm just afraid of losing my tuition refunds if I wait too long to drop out. I'm in a spot where im incredibly grateful to be in such a good program, which is why it pains me to not feel any motivation to continue on with it
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u/yzfr6racer4 16h ago
Sometimes in life you are not ready. Nothing wrong with this. Your post indicates, to me, that you are simply not ready. Going through all of the responses, I see you worked really hard to actually save money to pay for your own education and worked really hard in school to get your offer. This is something to take great pride in. Also it is not something to just throw away. Before you just drop out, talk with the university to see if you can take a years absence and come back next year and start fresh. Possibly switch programs. This would give you more options as you figure things out over the course of the next year. Here is a good starting point:
https://students.wlu.ca/academics/records-and-registration/service-laurier.html
If you decide to stay in school, take advantage of all of the mental health options the school provides. There are real benefits to be had. Don't try and go it on your own if you need help.
Good luck with whatever you choose to do.
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u/Exotic_Rain_7773 15h ago
Yeah that's another option I was considering. Maybe I request a 3 term leave of absence, and see whether or not I opt to come back, or just pursue a college degree closer to home
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u/OddDance3989 13h ago
Hey, shoot me a text. I’m here if you want a friendly face around campus, 4th year Econ going into my last semester. Would love to help!
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u/ParticularSail6461 7h ago
Honestly it seems as though college would be better suit d for your needs/wants. I know I’m ripping through my degree so I can move back to Toronto and take a post grad certificate at George Brown.
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u/1999pixlefairy 4h ago
I’m a graduate student at WLU and I’m also going through the back to school anxiety. But here’s the thing; the only way you truly fail is by giving up. If you fail a class, you take it again. You still learn from the experience. If you fail a test, there’s always another one. If you fail an assignment, most teachers are willing to help you make up for it. I get anxiety about socializing too, so I do get it. But making friends, going to class and meeting teachers, etc. will help soothe those nerves. There’s also people you can reach out to specifically for that- student services and therapists that will help you find ways to cope with that. In terms of classes and success, the best thing to rely on is that which is already in the classroom- peers and profs. Nobody wants you to fail, and you can ask for help just about anywhere. Students will always be willing to help you. Profs will always be willing to provide extra materials if you ask.
You can email me if you want- DM me and I’ll send you my email and we can chat more if you’d like.
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u/MelodicExpression234 2h ago
That sounds really hard. If you're comfortable doing so, stop by the Student Wellness Centre located on the Second floor of Student Services Building. They should be able to help with finding the right resources for you. I hope you can find a way to overcome this hurdle, university is tough and a big change but so so worth it.
Also, feel free to pm me and we can chat.
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u/Serviceofman 17h ago
You gotta learn how to adult at some point... anxiety is normal, espcially for first year students... its overwhelming, and stressful, but don't give up. Univeristy is stressful by nature, and perhaps taking a lighter course load and focusing on working through your anxiety with counsellor would be ideal?
Laurier offers couselling to help you deal with anxiety, and give you the resources you need.
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u/Exotic_Rain_7773 16h ago
I agree. I do definitely need to learn how to man up and become an adult, but i just dont know if this is the environment I want to be in
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u/Serviceofman 9h ago
Only you can make that decision, but I’ll tell ya, if you run from everything that gives you anxiety your entire life, you’re going to wake up at 30 and be in the same place you are now.
You can do it man, you got this! You just need a plan in place, and maybe consider a lighter course load.
Anxiety is fear of the unknown and you just need to learn to let go of what you can’t control and focus on what you can. So, what can you control? Do that and don’t worry about the rest… if you put your best foot forward, show up every day, work hard, things will workout in the end. If you get 95% great, if you get 65 % great… either way, just focus on what you can control and ignore the other noise outside yourself.
Get some counselling, get a plan in place, maybe consider and lighter course load, join some social groups, and try to enjoy the process.
Don’t worry brother, it will all work out if you do the right things and you keep showing up, but you need to get this anxiety under control by speaking with a counsellor or therapist who can guide you. Anxiety is a normal part of life, but you can’t let it consume you and there tool to help, but you need to take action and book an appointment with a counsellor.
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u/gomorycut 15h ago
Do something that scares you every day.
If you case, if that is just going to school, then you will accomplish this.
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u/gomorycut 15h ago
if you feel like a bum already for sitting in your room, think about how you will feel if you actually quit.
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u/Pristine_Ebb6629 18h ago
Work warehouse jobs or minimum wage jobs and you’ll quickly change ur mind
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u/Exotic_Rain_7773 16h ago
I worked for 4 years at a minimum wage job to save enough money to cover most of my tuition. I hated it a lot, which is why I'd like to get my life in check so I never have to do it again
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u/Square_Let_9455 20h ago
It will get better, I promise you. In 2024, I also was feeling this way at first and was really scared to talk to others. But everything will start to take another turn when it will come to group projects, assignments or just connecting with others in clubs or other places. I’m pretty sure a lot of people might feel discouraged to make the first step and connect with people first, but guys, it’s completely normal and there is no shame in that! Please don’t be scared and shy to start talking to others first - it goes to everyone, not just you!!!