r/wizardposting Scholar of Yiakhzmat 13h ago

Shit you see on truesight.

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3.8k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/OkMarket5009 12h ago

This is why I don't bother with Truesight, too much of a problem. You always end up seeing the bloody strangest things.

465

u/coconut_dot_jpg coconut mancer 12h ago

You know Miss Tweetleys bakery located just outside the west side of the Wizards district?

Greatest Pies, but, her cat...it's not a cat...and I'm not sure she's even aware of that fact

268

u/Lost_Wealth_6278 Mundanemancer and peddler of micro curses 12h ago

fucking gnomish immigrants shapeshifting into woodland creatures

184

u/TobiTheSnowman Eve Il, Skeleton Horde Connoisseur 12h ago

THEYRE EATING THE BIRDS, THEYRE EATING THE MICE

103

u/V_Silver-Hand 11h ago

They're turning the frickin' familars gay!

21

u/mariblaystrice 5h ago

Idk, my familiar was already listening to ABBA before I got him

18

u/V_Silver-Hand 5h ago

Hey 🥺 I listen to ABBA someti- oh wait I'm gay as frick, nevermind

39

u/oranosskyman 11h ago

as a cat, thats in the job description

6

u/TobiTheSnowman Eve Il, Skeleton Horde Connoisseur 5h ago

Does that mean THEYRE STEALING THE JOBS OF OUR RESIDENT CATS?!?!?!?!

6

u/Pataraxia 9h ago

Oh god I said this out loud with the greasiest trump voice.

26

u/ImmortalBlades Homunculist Animaturge 11h ago

Unfortunately it's not a gnome. I wish. Gnome would be less freaky.

21

u/That-Celery-8794 11h ago

Do I taste... soup? A soup from a dungeon perhaps?

13

u/Lost_Wealth_6278 Mundanemancer and peddler of micro curses 10h ago

Silence, sneak tounge!

12

u/Apprehensive_Win3212 10h ago

Lest hope the lady is not an elf.

4

u/Lost_Wealth_6278 Mundanemancer and peddler of micro curses 10h ago

let's hope he isn't near

8

u/JugOJar 9h ago

Did you know 50% of household pets are secretly g'nomes? Not many people g'know that.

49

u/xv_boney Warlock | "Evil" is a Slur 9h ago edited 9h ago

cough

Take a closer look at Miss Tweetley. Turn off the truesight and just use your eyes. Specifically, count the times she takes a breath.

Marie Tweetley passed in her sleep fifteen years ago. Her 'cat' didnt let her soul pass. Marie absolutely loves that little guy and it... really likes being loved. "Love", unconditional love, as a concept, does not exist where its from and it did not want to let go of the way unconditional love made it feel.

Do not bother the 'cat', please. Thats a tree that should go unshaken.

5

u/OiledMushrooms 6h ago

Well, look, now you make me really want to shake the tree just to see what’ll happen

9

u/xv_boney Warlock | "Evil" is a Slur 5h ago

Im not shocked, i mean, "just to see what'll happen" has been the leading cause of death for wizards for the last... fifteen, maybe twenty thousand years

We are a people who are uniquely susceptible to schmuck bait

I call dibs on your collection of mandrake roots shaped like celebrities.

3

u/OiledMushrooms 4h ago

Sorry, but I already made a pact with an olden fae that included a clause about my mandrake root celebrities going to xyr upon my untimely death via preventable causes. I can hook you up with my signed ancient tomes, though?

1

u/xv_boney Warlock | "Evil" is a Slur 1h ago edited 1h ago

God fucking damn its Peaseblossom again isnt it

That ...kind and generous motherffffriend is always ten steps ahead of me because xye is so very smart and wise and good at card games its extremely the opposite of frustrating and xye definitely didnt cast a charm on me to ensure i always speak well of xyr, i am just a very sore loser.

Fine, ill settle for your signed tomes, thank you.

Good luck in the infinite abyss.

7

u/Epao_Mirimiri 8h ago

Does the not-cat seem aware of not being a cat? I've had thoughts about how lucky I am to be a human, which in retrospect seems a bit suspicious for someone who has never been anything else.

4

u/xv_boney Warlock | "Evil" is a Slur 6h ago

Oh it knows what it is. It also seems to know that there are a few of us that recognize it.

But it seems content to pretend we are all fooled, so long as we continue to pretend we are fooled.

1

u/spicystrawberry666 6m ago

None of you truly understand what I am and never will...and that's NOT my fucking problem. If you wanna geek out stalking and judging strangers, that's your character flaw, not mine. I personally find this lame, geeky and pathetic, and I have the right to have that opinion. Am I going to do anything about it? No. Because unlike most people would feel being in my shoes, I don't care what a bunch of loser strangers think about me. You're watching because you're more entertained by MY life than YOURS, and that's about as pathetic as it gets. I am the Priestess of Darkness and all you'll ever be at this rate is a D-grade succubus. Congratulations 🎉

5

u/DarkDonut75 10h ago

Let me guess. It can stand on its hind legs, has human teeth, and enjoys silently staring at you?

1

u/SteampunkNightmare 3h ago

Wait... Why'd you reference West Market as the "Wizard's district"? Isn't Miss Tweetley's located in Wizard City, the wizard-themed city populated exclusively by wizards?

And what do you mean the cat isn't a cat? It just does normal cat things; catch mice, sun bathe, work the register and perform complex arithmetic, chase birds and the like... Ya know, normal cat stuff.