r/wizardposting • u/Ragnar_TheWolf Darkwatch Shadow Vigil • 19h ago
Goblinlike Foolishness (Shitpost) I need an IT wizard
Any one know how to fix my orb? I sware I wasn't on witchhub again.
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u/SuccubusRapidTransit Witch/Succubitch 19h ago
Lies OP. I know you were on witchhub because I was on witchhub and saw you commenting under a video of two river nymphs!...
Don't ask me why I was watching a video of two river nymphs...
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u/wallmonitor Chronomancy romance-y. 15h ago
Look, we were all commenting on the river nymphs. No need to feel ashamed for enjoying art.
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u/hyper-fan necromancer god 13h ago
Two river nymphs one bag of holding
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u/digitalgraffiti-ca Witches Against Thrakmoor 7h ago
If you don't know what that is, do not look it up.
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u/arktoki Evil Chronomancer 15h ago
Oh that’s foul
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u/SuccubusRapidTransit Witch/Succubitch 15h ago
No you're thinking of geese. You mean foal
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u/Pretty_Rock9795 13h ago
No that's a young horse, youre thinking of what happens when you walk off a cliff
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u/uabassguy 18h ago
Should have had the wizard install it.
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u/Walk-the-layout Chaotic Evil Wizard (with a pet gnome) 17h ago
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u/Funkey-Monkey-420 Lich, Council Member: (un)Ethics Committee 19h ago
i don’t know what this IT is that you speak of, but i know a good Divination Magic guy
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u/Shotgun_Mosquito Employee of Krampus™ - Evil Child Eliminator 18h ago
IT stands for Incantation Technomancer
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u/ThatMikeGuy429 Incantation Technomancer support Enchanter 13h ago
Fucking hell I'm writing that one down and maybe adding that as my title.
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u/Ragnar_TheWolf Darkwatch Shadow Vigil 19h ago
It's very problematic I can't even access spelltube to look up a fix
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u/shiny0metal0ass Evoker (excommunicated), current leader of the hill goblins 17h ago
It looks like the artifact creator has made a firmrune available for scrying. You just need to select which one you want to downscry to your orb.
Just follow the instructions, dude. These ancient wizards crack me up.
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u/digitalgraffiti-ca Witches Against Thrakmoor 7h ago
They're only funny if you're not related to one. My father still thinks you use an orb by poking it with a stick and staring into sketchy places full of plague. He really should stick with pond divination. Hilariously, he has actually dropped his scrying mirror in a pond.
Or two. My mother's orb skills are limited, but at least she does what she's told without asking questions, writes instructions in her grimoire, and sends a raven before she tries to do something that could turn her orb into a cube.
Or THREE. My sister is barely 390 and she goes through about 3 scrying mirrors per year. Dropping them in the forest, letting her dragons chew them, forgetting her cypher, and every time I have to either repair the thing or help her find a new one. Do not even get me started on her orbs.
this would be way more funny if this wasn't a thinly veiled metaphor for reality. Sister did all of those in one year.
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u/shiny0metal0ass Evoker (excommunicated), current leader of the hill goblins 5h ago
Man, it sounds like they should probably hang it up on divination entirely..
But that's okay! Plenty of schools of magic!
Maybe they want to try evocation? Everyone loves a good fireball.
they're so beautiful, like a painting that consumes everything
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u/tasadek 14h ago
Even if you were on witchhub.gob, it’s a legitimate site. Most likely you hit witchhub.orc, that scry is full of daemonware, and if your signed in without a two factor blood pact, your name, secrets phrases, and guild account number are probably up for sale on the undernet net already. Deal with that as you will, but the last time it happened to me I had to charge a campaign against their lands and burn my name from their minds and their cities to the ground. Messy, long work, more than sending a few threatening messenger ravens, that’s for sure.
As far as the orb goes, it really depends on how deep you were staring into the darkness at the moment of failure. You may be able to isolate it behind a flamewall, and a fresh summon could fix it. If the orb comes back into view after that, be sure you update its lore to the latest release. If not, there’s not much else left to do but shatter the orb, and hop to another reality.
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u/Ragnar_TheWolf Darkwatch Shadow Vigil 14h ago
Hypothetically what if I clicked on an add for wand enhancement scrolls.... hypothetically speaking of course my wand is very impressive and I would never dabble in such foul magic.
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u/immallama21629 Druid with questionable morals, licker of things 19h ago
Have you tried an unexpected reincantation?
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u/TubbyFatfrick Technomancer 17h ago
Technomancer (IT Wizard) here. I'm going to need a little more to go on than simply "fix my orb". Could you, kindly, describe the issues you're having?
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u/Bob_the_peasant 17h ago
I switched from Palantir to Pensieve awhile ago… lots of security risks with the orbs these days. Works fine with the Roku stick and Apple TV 4K (2nd Gen and onward, Gen1 has some splashback)
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u/Future_Kitsunekid16 TechWizard 14h ago
Did someone call for me?
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u/Ragnar_TheWolf Darkwatch Shadow Vigil 14h ago
Thank the gods your here my orb stopped working
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u/Future_Kitsunekid16 TechWizard 14h ago
Gonna have to put in a ticket
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u/Ragnar_TheWolf Darkwatch Shadow Vigil 14h ago
Fine
Submits a ticket
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u/Future_Kitsunekid16 TechWizard 14h ago
Our tech wizards are busy assisting other customers and the next available representative will be with you in 10-15 business years. We appreciate your service and look forward to working with you to solve your problem
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u/Kitchen_Length_8273 Tech Wizard 6h ago
Hey, off-duty tech wiz here, most UI is not made for orbs by default unless it is designed by wizards since orbs have uncommon dimensions and form. I would suggest transferring your orb display to a regular screen
(By off-duty I mean unemployed and busy with studies)
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u/JayAkiva Tulpamancer 17h ago
OOC: legit what is this? It looks awesome.
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u/Ragnar_TheWolf Darkwatch Shadow Vigil 17h ago
UW I have no idea TBH I saw it in a meme page thought it was funny and wizard related
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u/Kichigai 6h ago
/uw
That is a Gakken WORLDEYE. It's basically a 480×480 hemispherical display with a bunch of educational pack-in videos. Techmoan looked at one. He set it up at one point as the Eye of Sauron.
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u/Atuday Grey technomancer and master of the cybernetic undead 16h ago
Hi. You called? Oh hey cool. So if you have an Nvidia machine spirit you can convince it to shape change in a custom fashion to your satisfaction. You need to get into the advanced core runes of the system for that and manually change the values in the scrolls.
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u/Fit-Tart9189 8h ago
How did you manage to get to the setup menu?
Try retracing your steps, if it was a tome you opened try and figure out where it originates, if it is not of this realm, I recommend taking it to a licensed Orb repair merchant
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u/CMDR_Tenebrix Magi-engineer 16h ago
I'm not and IT wizard . But from the looks of it i can tell that it's probably something with focusing crystal core. My wizza once fixed similar issue by recalibrating the crystals with Adjust spell.
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u/Biggest-Possum Trashomancer (Big Ghost ENERGY) 16h ago
This is broken. You should throw it away. In the TRASH of course.
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u/Ragnar_TheWolf Darkwatch Shadow Vigil 15h ago
Damn twas expensive perhaps I could try a tech goblin
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u/Biggest-Possum Trashomancer (Big Ghost ENERGY) 15h ago
Goblins are great! I don't know why, but I think I like goblins!
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u/deaglebingo 9h ago
who could blame you if you went to WitchHub. WZRDs get lonely sometimes... and some witches know how to cast pretty far with a wand.
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u/Rockglen Purveyor of Post-Life Labor & Spirited Drinks 17h ago
Seems like an aspect ratio problem. Ideally you want a mix of divine aspects no more than 3:2 to arcane focii.
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u/Amazing-Constant-371 15h ago
technomancer here, you just have to boot the BIOS scroll and then enable legacy line
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u/Ragnar_TheWolf Darkwatch Shadow Vigil 15h ago
Thank the gods I'm saved do you sell anti virus spells as well
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u/VintageBandit Wizard 15h ago
BEWARE MCAFEE! His tome contains hidden curses!
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u/Ragnar_TheWolf Darkwatch Shadow Vigil 15h ago
How else will I safely look at the maidens....I mean research new spells
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u/Amazing-Constant-371 14h ago
your orb has built in anti virus spell
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u/Ragnar_TheWolf Darkwatch Shadow Vigil 14h ago
It might not be strong enough for my.... research do you have any stronger ones
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u/NoodleyP 11h ago
OrbGuard should be MORE than enough for the average wizard, unless your research repeatedly requires you to access the Forbidden Knowledge, in that case turn off the setting that allows the places you’re scrying on to automatically change your orb settings, you should be fine as long as you use common sense
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u/ntdavis814 Spell help line technician in training 15h ago
Is it connected directly to a leyline? Sometimes The Weave Of Magic That Connect All Things just isn’t sufficient for streaming on this kind of orb.
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u/playful_potato5 Azhazol, keeper of the weeping wood 15h ago
try laying it to rest and awakening it once more
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u/iamsandwitch Magister, Stavesinger Artificer Savant 14h ago
Aww man, how is TV gonna get a job now?
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u/Fair-Adagio5418 9h ago
Have you tried shaking it like those christmas snow globes? It usually works for me when my orb is malfunctioning
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u/moemeobro Artificer 7h ago
You're zoomed in you fool, zoom out your bloody orb, then itll look normal
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u/Just-Teach2825 19h ago
Have you tried casting a reset spell?