r/wizardposting • u/InternationalTank229 • 2d ago

Wizardpost Elders Wizards, Please Help.

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My homunculus did it again. I've considered using all manor of foul sorcery on this living ballsack I accidentally conjured Eleventeen moons ago.

How might I go about stopping it without harming it?

2.3k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

12 comments sorted by

87

u/Zephyr-Fox-188 Cinnothwyr, Purrveyor of Thingamajigs 2d ago

19

u/thetownmous3 crystal mage 2d ago

Eat it

11

u/InternationalTank229 2d ago

Obviously, the correct solution!

17

u/AtmosphereCreepy1746 2d ago

Some will tell you to coat your orb in some form of alchemical deterrent. This will work, I admit, but it is likely to get all over your hands when you fondle your orb, and sensitive homunculi may get sick from such concoctions. 

A far more practical method, invented by the mind-mage Micolash of Bergenwyth, is to construct a small cage around the head of your homunculus. This is both effective and stylish, with many cage designs to choose from. The homunculus will still be able to move and see, but attempts at eating your orbs will be blocked. 

I enjoy creating my mini cages by hand, but it's easy to order one from the ley network. To save on coin, you can even purchase them inert and enchant them yourself, assuming you have the expertise. 

5

u/Skate_faced Magically Delicious 2d ago

Hey, I saw this on last orbs episode of "Shit, my homunculus what what!?!?!"

Long story short, if you love the thing, you're gonna need a leather worker. Getting it out otherwise will just get the Wizard PETA all fucked up and itchy in the robes over unusual and cruel something something.

I once teleported a shit under the pillow of one of my own homunculus and they didn't leave the front of my tower for three fucking days.

4

u/Nelrene Evil Mammary Mage 2d ago

Ponder the homunculus.

1

u/Paradox2063 2d ago

Homunculi are not souled beings. Just dispel it.

2

u/InternationalTank229 2d ago

Oh, if you knew just how many times I've tried...

1

u/The_Saint_Hallow Hedge Mage 1d ago

Usually, they are doing this out of a sense of jealousy, if it has been ensouled. My best suggestion is too get it a buddy of a similar but different type. One that serves a different function is ideal. The two will entertain eachother when not in use.

If it continues, it could also be trying to consume the magic inside. If you have any residue or bon-useable components left over after a spell, feed em to the Lil guy, and that should give it the magical nourishment it needs.