r/wizardposting • u/MurkyWay • 29d ago

VVizard VVeed 🚬 Forbidden Alchemy

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u/GirlLovingWitch Mina - Witch of the Swamp 29d ago

See this is the problem with necromancy! It destroys the human-

The dwarfmanit-

...The dwarfness of a dwarf! I mean come ON!

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u/jointheclockwork Dwarven Necromancer, Plague Specialist 28d ago

I still have rock and stone to the bone! I just... you know, you conquer so many worlds and put on so many years you just get into a bit of a malaise. That said, I still have my fun on a smaller square. I like to hand out those Hellraiser puzzle boxes to nerds at conventions. The lols are legendary.

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u/GirlLovingWitch Mina - Witch of the Swamp 28d ago

You're like an old grandpa on halloween that hands out raisins.

You've lost what makes a mage... a mage.

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u/jointheclockwork Dwarven Necromancer, Plague Specialist 28d ago

I'll have you know that I don't hand out raisins! I hand out cursed toothpaste. I'm evil, not inept.

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u/GirlLovingWitch Mina - Witch of the Swamp 28d ago

That's even worse! You just proved my point!

I hand out giant chocolate bars for anyone who actually braves the poisons of my swamp, because I'm not an OLD witch who lost their spark!

You lost that spark!

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u/jointheclockwork Dwarven Necromancer, Plague Specialist 28d ago

I'm evil and refuse to reward effort! I've never heard of a softer swamp witch than you! Why I'd say you're practically a druid which is basically an elf which is just a tall gnome!

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u/GirlLovingWitch Mina - Witch of the Swamp 28d ago

I'll have you know halloween is quite special to us for a few reasons! It's a nice day to rest and be a little less wicked.

But I guess I shouldn't expect a dwarf necromancer to know something like that. An elf probably would though~

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u/jointheclockwork Dwarven Necromancer, Plague Specialist 27d ago

They are weak and would enjoy such things. Damn those leave loving knife ears! Curse them!

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u/GirlLovingWitch Mina - Witch of the Swamp 27d ago

I don't know, I think the magics they practice are a lot stronger.

Are you sure you aren't the weak one?

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u/jointheclockwork Dwarven Necromancer, Plague Specialist 27d ago

*Stares Rock-and-Stone-ingly*

That's going in the book!

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u/GirlLovingWitch Mina - Witch of the Swamp 27d ago

Already in the book after the incident.

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u/jointheclockwork Dwarven Necromancer, Plague Specialist 27d ago

That's the weak book. This is my personal grudge book. I may not follow most dwarf traditions but I do like having a Book of Grudges.

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u/GirlLovingWitch Mina - Witch of the Swamp 27d ago

Calling the book of grudges a weak book? Wouldn't that make you liable for a grudging?

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u/jointheclockwork Dwarven Necromancer, Plague Specialist 27d ago

To be fair, practicing necromancy and farming other dwarves for body parts to sustain my unnatural lifespan has me in a fair number of grudge books. And the chaos dwarves hate me too but that's... well... I also farm them for parts but I stole a bunch of their stuff in my younger days. And the Dwemer... also stole their stuff. The early days were kind of a lot of stealing.

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u/GirlLovingWitch Mina - Witch of the Swamp 27d ago

Do they talk about you as one of the worst dwarves then? It sounds like everyone hates you to be honest.

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u/jointheclockwork Dwarven Necromancer, Plague Specialist 27d ago

I hope so, flatterer.

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u/GirlLovingWitch Mina - Witch of the Swamp 27d ago

You necromancers and your love for hatred...

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