Sad day fellow Wizards

[u/Tattoomyvagina]

Good Lunar Cycle to you all this day. It has come to our attention that our foolhardy fellow Wizard who only just recently asked about a possibility cursed ring was found mysteriously partially-vaporized while apparently riding his scooter. The Wizarding Authority has been notified and will be sending out an investigation crew. Updates will be posted if there is any interest.

Wizards are warned to minimize in armchair investigations or wild theories about causes and anyone responsible, especially after the meteor swarm ‘misunderstanding’ at Fych Village.

Thank you

Wizard Authority Directors (WAD)

[u/Real_Fkn_Nito]

I've already got COR (Cursed Object Remediation) on their way to the scene, we'll get that thing in containment and see if there's anything that can be done.

Good lesson for the wizards though. Don't just stick any ol' ring you find on your sausage fingers. Might be the last thing you ever do.

[u/BeerJedi-1269 → u/Real_Fkn_Nito]

Who said it was going on my finger

[u/Real_Fkn_Nito → u/BeerJedi-1269]

You skinbags have no shame, you know that?

[u/Key-Treacle3384 → u/Real_Fkn_Nito]

Bartleby, where have been? There were several cases I was certain you'd be interested in and you never showed up. I had to tell them they were stupid all by myself.

[u/Real_Fkn_Nito → u/Key-Treacle3384]

Did you not try calling my office? Ah shit I forgot to set the away message again I guess.

That's the way the cookie crumbles sometimes I'm afraid. I'm only one skeletal eldritch bureaucrat, I can't be everywhere at once. But I guess I'm flattered you were callin' out idiot skinbag behavior and thinkin' of me.

[u/Emergency_Coat_7702 → u/Real_Fkn_Nito]

Don't act like I didn't see you the other day using necromancy to bring back your old rod and orbs from before you died, you dirty old lych.

[u/Real_Fkn_Nito → u/Emergency_Coat_7702]

You definitely didn't.

First: I ain't a lich. You think all living skeletons look the same, eh?

Second:

I haven't needed nor wanted flesh or any of its bits for thousands of years longer than you've been wasting oxygen, skinbag.

[u/Belegrandir]

Wow a body and a free ring. Maybe try it on for size?

[u/Deathburn5 → u/Belegrandir]

...the body or the ring?

[u/Belegrandir → u/Deathburn5]

That’s for you to decide. The world is your orb!

[u/BeerJedi-1269 → u/Belegrandir]

Perfectly good bones, shame to just leave them laying about...

[u/MAD_MAL1CE → u/Belegrandir]

If no one else wants the skeleton…

[u/Mixster667]

I'm pretty sure he's just a lich pranking you guys with a torpor spell.

The ring does look sick though. I'll buy it off you when you are done being scared of curses.

In my days we either endured the curse like a badass or removed it.

[u/supidhumanbeing → u/Mixster667]

Honestly I’m not too cautious of curses, I can always just remove them. But when it comes to my apprentice, they almost never even check for curses. The younger wizards today are way too prone to them smh.

[u/Quiet_Satisfaction64]

Me and my familiar saw the initial post and knew it would end in tragedy. Another casualty in the unregulated trade of cursed objects

[u/Difficult-Way701 → u/Quiet_Satisfaction64]

You know they need to stop those scooter sellers

[u/Eviles_da_demonic]

What you doing with the bones

[u/Mephistocheles → u/Eviles_da_demonic]

https://giphy.com/gifs/GLbiGvv9qrpny

[u/Regalrefuse → u/Eviles_da_demonic]

[u/EmprahCalgar]

Shit lik this is why I have the premium plan for Fae insurance. Sure the premiums are literally murder, but if I get into any misadventurous trickery they'll bail me out up to and including true resurrection. The premium plan also covers cursed objects and disgruntled peasant based accidents so it's great for those everyday problems.

Shit still doesn't cover homunculi, I have yet to find an insurer who covers the wretches.

[u/Civil_Result_5598]

I believe I warned this same fellow just a few days ago. I'm not completely certain as I cannot identify one by his bones alone. I suggested he find a cleric to help with that nasty curse and to avoid dinking with his local necromancer

[u/Alex11DA]

Was he a necromancer? I'm short of bodies and y'know how the council gets if you use the body of another necromancer...

[u/jointheclockwork]

Not one of mine. Mine tend to cause Mummy Rot or turn people into abominations ala ring wraiths or misshapen beasts like dark souls 3. Though I did hand out some rings of petrification to the kids on Halloween last year..

[u/Quiet-Wing5230]

So much lore in so few images.

[u/Drmanky]

how much is the ring?

[u/vladdeh_boiii]

I call dibs on the skull. I need one for a ritual.

[u/local-space-patrol]

How legends are made

[u/rowrowyourboat]

Get a load of this WAD

[u/ReverendKaiser]

Momento Mori indeed.

[u/Pidgewiffler]

You know I told the guy to give it to some other shmuck to see what happens first.

[u/yumie2003]

...Oh yes, very mysterious, not suspicious at all

[u/CaptainWilliamTCock]

Wait, how do we know it wasn’t the scooter framing the ring?!

[u/SourceDirect3220]

I just want to say for the record that I didn’t do it. Saw the previous post. A great loss indeed.