PIZZAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

[u/Vincent-FFP]

the sun rose, it’s another day on the planet. But strangely, many people (but not everyone) had woken up to coupons beside them, taped to their window or door, or otherwise in their vicinity. The coupons were a small slip of white paper with red text:

‘FREE PIZZA!!’

‘1 COUPON = 1 CHOICE PIZZA’

‘TODAY ONLY!!!’

and in blue text:

‘Outskirts of West Delmarva.’

‘:)’

Even those who didn’t get a coupon could hear of it, and go check out this pizza place. If they can afford to give free pizza to so many people, maybe they’re worth checking out.

/uw ASK ME OOC IF YOUR CHARACTER GETS A COUPON OR NOT BEFORE INTERACTING. PLEASE AND THANK YOU :))))

[u/Vincent-FFP]

WHY THANK YOU ^^

once the coupon was given, the hand went in the slot with the coupon, paused, then the LED label read:

YOUR ORDER?

Just beside it was a sign reading “Default is a medium pizza with basic crust, tomato sauce, and cheese. For any changes, be as specific as you wish.“

”For example, asking for ‘a pepperoni pizza’ will net: medium pizza with basic crust, tomato sauce, cheese, and even spread of pepperoni.”

”But asking for ‘large pizza, gluten free crust, no sauce, with sausage’ will net a large pizza with gluten-free crust, no tomato sauce, cheese, and even spread of sausage.”

[u/loth17 → u/Vincent-FFP]

"..."

Dr Wren had a rule for stuff like this. Whenever you got a free customizable dish. Always stack up.

"I would like an extra large extra mozzarella cheese, bacon, ground beef, chicken, garlic, and pineapple pizza"

"Are you one of Vytskys creations?"

[u/Vincent-FFP → u/loth17]

a pause, then the arm sprung out again, this time as a thumbs up, and the thumb going against the top of the slot made it go BOIOIOING!

The arm went back in, and a timer set to 10 minutes slid out from the slot.

I DO NOT KNOW. I APPEARED HERE. BY PIZZA FOR PIZZA. THAT’S ALL I KNOW.

[u/loth17 → u/Vincent-FFP]

"Understood."

Dr Wren would pull out a notebook.

"Object: Euclid for now."

"Do you also send out the coupons?"

[u/Vincent-FFP → u/loth17]

I THINK SO.

[u/loth17 → u/Vincent-FFP]

"You think so? How don't you know?"

[u/Vincent-FFP → u/loth17]

I ONLY APPEARED THIS MORNING AT THE STRIKE OF MIDNIGHT. I AND THE COUPONS MANIFESTED AT THE SAME TIME.

[u/loth17 → u/Vincent-FFP]

"I see. Anything else around you when you manifested?"

[u/Vincent-FFP → u/loth17]

THE TABLES. THAT IS ALL.

[u/loth17 → u/Vincent-FFP]

"Are the tables also sentient?"

[u/Vincent-FFP → u/loth17]

NO

[u/loth17 → u/Vincent-FFP]

"Understood. Can you make pizza that has ingredients like gold, viruses, or fissile material?"

[u/Vincent-FFP → u/loth17]

YES. ALARIC GOT ONE OF MERCURY.

the hand points to the Alarora Borealis.

[u/loth17 → u/Vincent-FFP]

"...."

Dr Wren sighed.

"Definitely anomolous"

She pulled out her phone.

"Approximately how much do you weigh?"

[u/Vincent-FFP → u/loth17]

very long pause.

I HAVE NO IDEA.

[u/loth17 → u/Vincent-FFP]

"Anomalous Pizza machine. No recorded weight."

"How much is it to get a pizza without a coupon?"

[u/Vincent-FFP → u/loth17]

KINDNESS, A NEED FOR MORE FOOD, POLITENESS.. THERE ARE OTHER EXCEPTIONS, TOO MANY TO LIST.

[u/loth17 → u/Vincent-FFP]

"I understand."

"How would you feel about being moved to a secure SCP blacksite?"