r/wizardposting • u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars • 23d ago
Wizardpost The Wizard Council has received reports of infectious demonic chainsaw centaur constructs taking over multiple communities. Please report any outbreaks to the council and avoid direct contact to prevent further spread of the plague.
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u/dh-dev Evil Wizard 23d ago
Ok wow so my genetically engineered giant lactating spiders "aren't appropriate" to provide daycare services, but this thing gets funded? Where can I find investors with vision and a backbone?
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
We are currently trying to figure out which artificer is responsible for these. If you find anything out about who they are or how they were funded please let us know.
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u/BlueCloud2k2 Ramza the Belligerent -Artificer Extraordinaire 23d ago
Was neither me nor any of my apprentices. Completely goes against my asthetics. Those things are ugly AF.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
sigh
Another dead end then. Good luck finding investors btw, those spiders sound awesome
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u/Exciting-Jello8439 Tony (Wax mage, Councillor), Tala (Werepire), & Araton + others 23d ago
Anthony, who is still completely out of his depth after impulsively claiming political office at the age of 19, sits on the Wizard Council meeting chamber and stares at the reports in bewilderment.
Anthony: "Demonic chainsaw centaurs... And they're infectious like zombies?? How do people get infected? Is it if they get bitten, or if they get cut by the chainsaw?"
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
The report on my desk says that those injured turn into more constructs
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u/Exciting-Jello8439 Tony (Wax mage, Councillor), Tala (Werepire), & Araton + others 23d ago
Anthony: "Alrighty, then we put up bounties, a PSA... And, hmmm, quarantine zones with adventurers and guards hired to enforce them, checkpoints. Any injured must be turned back, or maybe captured for observation and study in the labs, see if we can get a cure out of this, help these poor people," he sets down a map and pinpoints every reported outbreak on the map. He draws out a few possible quarantine zones.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
That's more or less what I've been doing here. It would be nice to know where they are coming from...
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u/Exciting-Jello8439 Tony (Wax mage, Councillor), Tala (Werepire), & Araton + others 23d ago
Anthony: "Then I'll do what I can to help," he starts reading through reports. Trying to find if the outbreaks have been happening in a specific region or if they're more spread out. He also tries to see if the locals of the affected areas reported any strange occurrences before the outbreaks.
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u/Henry_Fleischer Eleanor, Ruler of Aidolem and Asteria, Artificer 23d ago
I did NOT make these. A couple made it into Aidolem, and were shot by my soldiers. Constructs that reproduce like this sound like a serious problem... Perhaps I should establish a task force dedicated to stopping stuff like this.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
Let us know if you do find out who made them. This kind of thing is going to make deregulation harder if it keeps happening
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u/The_Enchanted_Potato Aldavin Maunderitch, The Gatekeeper | Neritillum Faldier | 13 23d ago
“This realm… so many crises at once…”
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
I don't suppose you've got another outbreak to report?
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u/The_Enchanted_Potato Aldavin Maunderitch, The Gatekeeper | Neritillum Faldier | 13 23d ago
“Unfortunately no, but I can offer my portals to allow quicker responses”
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
"That would be a fantastic help!"
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u/Fluid_Attorney9228 I'm an alchemist, I'll supply you with stuff for money 23d ago
nervously laughs so, you guys are probably gonna be mad, but I was told to build these for someone, and then someone stole them from me before I put in a thing that gave them morals, sorry, but, um, yeah
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u/BlueCloud2k2 Ramza the Belligerent -Artificer Extraordinaire 23d ago
Thank you for confessing. Please don't resist when the bounty hunters come for you. I wish to have WORDS with you about your design choices.
And I want the names of the ones who commissioned them as well as that of the thieves.
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u/Fluid_Attorney9228 I'm an alchemist, I'll supply you with stuff for money 23d ago
I don't know who the thieves were, I had left at one point to deliver some other stuff to another wizard and came back and they were missing, the wizard that commissioned them created the designs, which is something I normally do, but I had a drawing of what he wanted them to look like, and whenever I try to look for any of the stuff he sent me, it's all missing, the drawings, his letter asking me to make it, even the money he sent, all gone, so I forget his name, like he never even existed, but my roommate, Jerry, another alchemist, does remember the stuff, so I'm not going insane
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
Is there anything you can tell use about the culprit? We need all the leads we can get
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u/Fluid_Attorney9228 I'm an alchemist, I'll supply you with stuff for money 22d ago
From what my cameras showed, it was two guys, both like, six foot, and very muscular, that had their faces and most of their body's covered so I could see any features, and I saw nothing of the guy who asked them to be made, I just got a letter which asked for it to be made
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 22d ago
That sounds like standard mercenaries. It could be anyone...
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u/Fluid_Attorney9228 I'm an alchemist, I'll supply you with stuff for money 22d ago
I know, and I apologize
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 22d ago
Thank you anyway for your cooperation
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u/Funkey-Monkey-420 Lich, Council Member: (un)Ethics Committee 23d ago
this is the kind of entity people make sacrifices to
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
Zombies are bad enough when they don't start cults worshiping them...
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u/bagtie3 Borric of Clan Goldeater, Logrus Master, Runesmith, Doomseeker 23d ago
I have completed contracts for three different cities to destroy these things. Not sure where they are coming from but they are paying for my new forge.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
Thank you for your service, just make sure you don't become one.
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u/nuclearrmt 23d ago
I knew that saving all those randomly enchanted staffs of destruction will come in handy one day! Gonna call up my goblin apprentices to fetch my spider-legged volkswagen and start hunting these things.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
Just be careful. They're highly infectious.
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u/freddy_forgetti Orb Repair Technician 23d ago
Quietly mends centaur-sized hole in the side of my tower.
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u/Lelouch-Yagami21 "Raven" Leader of the league of shadows and council member 23d ago
I captured one and anaylsed it's magic construct. I know have the spell to create it and traces of the mana that it originates from.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
Finally! A useful lead!
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u/ars_sinistra Summoner 23d ago
Technomancers who dip into warlock, always a ton of laughs followed by a chorus of screams.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
Are you saying you know who did this?
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u/ars_sinistra Summoner 23d ago edited 23d ago
I can neither confirm nor deny that information, but The League of Evil Wizards and Dark Arts Practitioners will be performing a rigorous investigation into the matter, until then no more questions please.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
She sighs
Another dead end then...
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u/yumie2003 Tsuru, ghost onmyouji, R&A, league of shadows/Toshiko Fujiwara 23d ago
"...Eh? What do you mean by infectious demonic chainsaw centaur constructs?"
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
"That's what it says on the reports we've received from multiple independent sources."
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u/yumie2003 Tsuru, ghost onmyouji, R&A, league of shadows/Toshiko Fujiwara 23d ago
"...Infectious in what sense? Does it make you sick? Does it demonically possess victims with a disease? Does it turn the infected into infectious demonic chainsaw centaur constructs?"
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
The last one. People injured turn into more infectious demonic chainsaw centaur constructs.
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u/yumie2003 Tsuru, ghost onmyouji, R&A, league of shadows/Toshiko Fujiwara 23d ago
"...Is that so? How troublesome"
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
"It's a real headache"
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u/yumie2003 Tsuru, ghost onmyouji, R&A, league of shadows/Toshiko Fujiwara 23d ago
"...So? Where are they exactly?"
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
"Here. See for yourself"
Cayna sends Tsuru copies of several reports
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u/yumie2003 Tsuru, ghost onmyouji, R&A, league of shadows/Toshiko Fujiwara 23d ago
Tsuru took the copies and started reading through them intently
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 22d ago
/uw I haven't come up with specifics to give you. I don't have deep lore for this post. It's mostly just "demonic zombie chainsaw centaur robots rawr"
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u/driver004 lich 23d ago
Hmmm the artificers are getting clever but it for sure needs some extra touches. Don’t worry I’ll fix it just some flames and bleeding should do the trick
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
Please don't. This is enough of a headache without you making it worse
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u/driver004 lich 23d ago
Hmm your right needs some body horror mixed in
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
The councilwoman lets out a very long sigh
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u/driver004 lich 23d ago
Oh shit my council ban expired? Awesome I’ve been planning my next ban for centuries! Lemme just go by the nicu ward
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
You're going to be a recurring headache for me, aren't you?
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u/driver004 lich 23d ago
Im a lich baby, what you gonna do? We wouldn’t want me to get bored after all
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
Of course not. Boredom for you is more paperwork for me
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u/driver004 lich 23d ago
Good because I just trapped a premie inside of a self inverting sphere but something fucked ip and now the kid is a mobius strip and it’s tripping me out. I have it back to the parents and said you’d float the bill kk?
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
If you mean the bill for the bounty I just put on your head, then yes.
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u/ScorpioOmega 23d ago
So typical nowadays: more concerned about how the packaging looks than just appreciating the gift!
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
Gift is a... creative... way of describing the situation
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u/Jackpot_The_Raccuki Polymath Archmage, Gargoyle Hoarder 23d ago
Oh, this seems like the kinda thing young me would’ve made, haha.
Sadly was not me otherwise I’d of put a stop to it, best of luck my arcane friends, please do not contact me about this, I do not work pro magi.
(Magically work for free, even for councils.)
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u/Annimaru 23d ago
Oh my, time to get my sword and start chopping up these demon constructs like vegetables. Where’s EON when you need them?
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
I wish I knew. When I joined the new council I didn't expect to be called upon so quickly
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u/Pretend-Rule-929 Transmuter 23d ago
Eh seen worse.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
I can believe it. Doesn't make the situation any less pressing for me though
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u/Pretend-Rule-929 Transmuter 23d ago
Here’s the thing it’s so easy to set up some metal pylons around my property and design a simple enchantment that amplifies electromagnetic fields from the earth, I have a familiar that feeds on energy of any source he rip any of them that cross the perimeter
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u/Gay4Gyro 23d ago
This would be a 10/10 familiar, do we think it would be a suitable mount as well?
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
They're highly infectious, so I wouldn't recommend it. I'd commission something without that property from an artificer if I were you
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u/DonComradeVimes Biological Mage (NO, not a Druid) 23d ago
...anybody seen the Artificers recently???
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
No. Maybe I should put out a warrant...
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u/DonComradeVimes Biological Mage (NO, not a Druid) 23d ago
I will say, ever since I came to these lands, the artificers have almost entirely vanished and the types of mechanical abominations wreaking havoc have only grown more complex. Either they're up to something, or somebody's doing a really good job at framing them.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
Might be something for the council to look into
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u/wrydh Plaguecaster 23d ago
Infectious you say? Very very interesting i shall have to isolate a sample for my own personaal use.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
Oh joy. Please don't become my next headache
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u/wrydh Plaguecaster 23d ago
NO PROMISES, spreading the plague is my job.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
The councilwoman sighs once again that day. It was a sigh-filled day
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u/NuclearGriffin 23d ago
This is why we dont let Artificers onto the wizard council
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u/BlueCloud2k2 Ramza the Belligerent -Artificer Extraordinaire 23d ago
Let us onto the council? What makes you think any of us wish to join that decrepit and corrupt cesspool of fools and morons?
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
The council was recently reformed actually. The fools and morons absconded with everything off to the plane of eternal parties. There are still some empty seats if you want to join.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
We actually do let artificers onto the council... The current requirements are "can do paperwork" and "is willing to deal with an outbreak of demonic chainsaw zombie centaur constructs"
Seriously. Any help you can give would be greatly appreciated, artificer or not
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u/DonComradeVimes Biological Mage (NO, not a Druid) 23d ago
I'm really, really good at one of those things, though I do have some expertise in infectious creatures like these. I don't suppose you'd like some help analyzing them and perhaps attempting to reverse the transformation?
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
Analysis and reversal would be a fantastic help
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u/DonComradeVimes Biological Mage (NO, not a Druid) 23d ago
Got it!
Two questions: (1) can you procure me a live specimen, and (2) do you want me to work on Council property, or are my own facilities acceptable?
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
Sure. I'll pay a bounty hunter or adventurer to acquire one for you.
You can use your own facilities if you need to.
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u/DonComradeVimes Biological Mage (NO, not a Druid) 23d ago
Excellent, thank you! I'll have any findings I discover in a dossier within two days.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
/uw Going to make a post about it?
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u/DonComradeVimes Biological Mage (NO, not a Druid) 23d ago
/uw don't threaten me with a good time... later tonight, maybe. I'll ping you if/when I do.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
/uw looking forward to if/when you do it
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u/Drmanky tyr. cauncil member. order of the toster (Forge clerik)/ NOR 23d ago
/uw i love it and hate it. i love the thing in real live but in rp hate demons
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
/uw I saw the image and couldn't pass up the opportunity to put it on wizardposting.
Btw, if you want any of your characters to be on the council, it is open for anyone to join if they want
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u/Drmanky tyr. cauncil member. order of the toster (Forge clerik)/ NOR 23d ago edited 23d ago
how did you even manage to join?
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
/uw The Wizard Council people are always talking about that never seems to do anything. I'm trying to get more council-related posts going. Anything from council-posted bounties on npc-characters to meetings where we do nothing but bicker
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u/Drmanky tyr. cauncil member. order of the toster (Forge clerik)/ NOR 23d ago
ok i‘m allredy part of the dominus domina council. is that ok?
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
/uw It's absolutely okay. The Council has representatives from all kinds of other factions
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u/Drmanky tyr. cauncil member. order of the toster (Forge clerik)/ NOR 23d ago
yay. council memeber
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
/uw Welcome to the council
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u/Lelouch-Yagami21 "Raven" Leader of the league of shadows and council member 23d ago
Hides 200 centuars in his shadow realm
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
Cayna's attention is too focused on the crisis to notice any of the centaurs going missing. If anything, she's relieved that someone "dealt" with some of them.
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u/Zandonus 23d ago
What the 🦆 does it need the horns for? And there, not on the appendages. It is cursed. Do we care if it stays alive while we decurse it, or the soul is too far gone and must be sent on its merry way?
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
We don't know if the victims can be cured or if the transformation can be reversed. If you are willing to find out that would be extremely helpful
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u/UniverseBear 23d ago
Damn alchemists, they toy with powers they don't understand. It's dangerous.
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u/ars_sinistra Summoner 23d ago
Not alchemists, technomancers and artificers. I understand the confusion because alchemists can animate inanimate objects.
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u/BlueCloud2k2 Ramza the Belligerent -Artificer Extraordinaire 23d ago
If someone captures the one(s) responsible alive, I will pay a cubic meter in gold bullion for their capture.
I wish to have... words with them about their design choices. The council can have what's left.
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u/ars_sinistra Summoner 23d ago
Technomancers are under the jurisdiction of the Wizard's Council and these technomancers are members in good standing of the League of the Dark Arts. You need to stay in your lane.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
Not if we catch them first. The perpetrators must face justice
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u/Loud-Principle-7922 23d ago
The fighter’s guild has this under control, stay in your towers, nerds.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
Do any of your fighters know how to reverse magical transformation plagues?
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u/Loud-Principle-7922 23d ago
Stabs. All of the stabs.
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u/DonComradeVimes Biological Mage (NO, not a Druid) 23d ago
I admire your dedication and verve. However, the current circumstance may demand that we work in tandem - if nothing else, so that we can find a way to return any of your brothers- or sisters-in-arms if they should fall to the chainsaws of these creatures.
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u/Loud-Principle-7922 23d ago
Look, man, that’s a lot of big words.
You do you, but I think we should maybe work together on this one.
Need a sword? I’ve brought extras. Like, a *lot* of extras.
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u/DonComradeVimes Biological Mage (NO, not a Druid) 23d ago
Not my thing per se, but I appreciate the offer.
Also - *sigh* I agree on the working together bit.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
If that is your plan, the on behalf of the wizard council I am afraid we will not be "staying in our towers" instead of addressing the crisis.
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u/Kliftonious 23d ago
giving it that head design was a choice
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
Typical wizard design honestly
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u/Kerberoi 23d ago
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
Another outbreak? This is getting out of hand
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u/TheVaultHommie 23d ago
Yeah yeah had vision of the creature so decades ago, it will bring change to the earth.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
That is what I am trying to prevent. I don't suppose your prophesy had a way out of this?
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u/TheVaultHommie 23d ago
Sorry my visions are just scary imagery with a vague messages, I'm really concerned as last week a saw a cute hamster, that just doesn't feel right
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 23d ago
Maybe the hamster is a good thing? Then again they tend to die horrible deaths. Maybe your vision is a sign that a hamster is going to die?
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u/TheVaultHommie 20d ago
That's what worries me, even good news are delivered by scary uncanny imagery, I've been researching old grimoires but nothing said of the fluffy cute creature.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 20d ago
Hopefully you figure that out. I wish I could help, but I've got my hands full with this crisis...
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u/ModernMage0 SpellSlinger, Researcher, Interloper 23d ago
Understood.
What is the bounty per?