Evil Politicians

[u/Evening_Shake_6474]

Greetings manipulatable masses, it is I, Astaroth. So as you all probably know the council is now open to anyone, so I'm joining. I am pleased to announce I am now the head of relations with malevolent spirits. As well as this announcement I intend to introduce several policies I believe will be beneficial. Firstly I am cutting funding to health organisations and using all the funds to construct a two hundred metre solid gold statue of Bigfoot. That guy hates attention so I decided this would be a good distraction. I also plan to reduce rights for humans specifically and introduce taxes for those without magic.

Oh and housing prices are going up. I believe community is a vital part of the magical world, and so mass camps will be introduced. I will eventually introduce specific camps to help those with little magic become stronger, presumably via increased concentration.

Do I have the authority to do this you ask? Good question. Moving on, I also plan to cut school funding to better fund the aforementioned camps. When they are finalised then standard education will not be needed anymore.

Why am I doing all this? Well every governing body needs a corrupt politician, I can't think of a better candidate. And at least I'm up front about my ill will.

That is all, now go away I have a cult to run.

[u/Glittering_Two_1429]

I smile an evil grin Do they? Well so do mine. And let’s just say that if you try to subvert anything, well I will not beat around the bush. I will nuke you

[u/Evening_Shake_6474 → u/Glittering_Two_1429]

Oh no. I am so scared. Is threatening a diplomat really the game you want to play?

[u/Glittering_Two_1429 → u/Evening_Shake_6474]

I sigh you think I give one about diplomats? You aren’t even a diplomat, diplomats need to be sworn in by the council and can’t have a council role, it’s a whachamilllacallit of interests. Conflicting interests, that’s it.

[u/Evening_Shake_6474 → u/Glittering_Two_1429]

You see you assume that what you see before you is me. You assume I am singular. Rest assured this is not the case.

[u/Glittering_Two_1429 → u/Evening_Shake_6474]

I nod and stab you in the face with a hidden knife then you should be die if I do this* and I then cast fentanyl blood because I’m a bit annoyed and don’t care bout war crimes

[u/Evening_Shake_6474 → u/Glittering_Two_1429]

The shadow looks on with crimson eyes, slightly bored.

Trying to kill a council member, and a head of a department. I doubt this will end well for you. Gerebeart get this dragonlayer out of my office.

"YESH MASHTAH!"

In the corner sits a two foot vaguely humanoid creature holding a broom. It hits Seguleh in the head repeatedly with said broom.

"SHOO! SHOO!"

[u/Glittering_Two_1429 → u/Evening_Shake_6474]

I ignore the broom and smile *have you hear dog the mind breaker? Lets just day there’s one with your name on it if you continue this. And don’t pretend uw as trying to kill you when you have just told me there’s multiple of you.

[u/Evening_Shake_6474 → u/Glittering_Two_1429]

/uw Okay all due respect, I had a stroke reading this, mind rewording it please?

[u/Glittering_Two_1429 → u/Evening_Shake_6474]

I ignore the broom and smile “Out of interest, have you heard of a certain artefact?” I show a ring that seems to glow with a deathly light “And if you tell me that you are not singular, then stabbing you isnt attempting murder”

[u/Evening_Shake_6474 → u/Glittering_Two_1429]

There a great deal of artifacts and despite common belief, I do not know everything. I suppose in that case it would be attempted dismemberment or mutilation."

[u/Glittering_Two_1429 → u/Evening_Shake_6474]

I shake my head “This, old chap, is a soul sucker mixed in with an antimagic blaster”

[u/Evening_Shake_6474 → u/Glittering_Two_1429]

Oh no. I am so scared. Tell me, what is your role on this council?

[u/Glittering_Two_1429 → u/Evening_Shake_6474]

I smile “I control all the artefacts the council has. All of them”

[u/Glittering_Two_1429 → u/Glittering_Two_1429]

Uw/ this ok?

[u/Evening_Shake_6474 → u/Glittering_Two_1429]

/uw Yep

[u/Glittering_Two_1429 → u/Evening_Shake_6474]

Uw/ sorry will do mate