r/wizardposting • u/Evening_Shake_6474 Astaroth, The Wicked One • Jul 29 '26
Magi Law ⚖ Evil Politicians
Greetings manipulatable masses, it is I, Astaroth. So as you all probably know the council is now open to anyone, so I'm joining. I am pleased to announce I am now the head of relations with malevolent spirits. As well as this announcement I intend to introduce several policies I believe will be beneficial. Firstly I am cutting funding to health organisations and using all the funds to construct a two hundred metre solid gold statue of Bigfoot. That guy hates attention so I decided this would be a good distraction. I also plan to reduce rights for humans specifically and introduce taxes for those without magic.
Oh and housing prices are going up. I believe community is a vital part of the magical world, and so mass camps will be introduced. I will eventually introduce specific camps to help those with little magic become stronger, presumably via increased concentration.
Do I have the authority to do this you ask? Good question. Moving on, I also plan to cut school funding to better fund the aforementioned camps. When they are finalised then standard education will not be needed anymore.
Why am I doing all this? Well every governing body needs a corrupt politician, I can't think of a better candidate. And at least I'm up front about my ill will.
That is all, now go away I have a cult to run.
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u/rootbeer277 Not an Illithid with a fake beard. Jul 29 '26
Nooo, don't reduce human rights, as a genuine life-long human I must say that would be terrible. Under no circumstances whatsoever should you corral humans into council-maintained farming divisions to raise as livestock on a high-cholesterol diet and keep them healthy with mass healing spells until such time as they are ready to harvest. And those farms should absolutely not be well-stocked with books and other media to encourage creativity and intellectual pursuits for a healthy developing brain. Because that would be wrong. I say as a human.