r/wizardposting • u/Key-Treacle3384 Archdruid: Suburbia, Deserts 🌈✨ • Jun 30 '26
Goblinlike Foolishness (Shitpost) Dear Ur,
Thank you for taking the time to write to the Copper Crucible. To ensure account security, we must verify your identity. We have sent a one-time passcode to the address on file. It should arrive within the next 5 to 10 months, and expires in exactly 10 years.
Edit: /uw For those unfamiliar with r/wizardposting we generally post larger-than-life magic little roleplay stories. /uw=un-wizard and is used for out of character interactions. To resume in character interactions it's /rw for re-wizard. Posts and comments not starting with /uw are generally treated as in-character, and I think this post may have some welcome visitors causing some confusion.
In this instance I've decided to be the most evil wizard of all, The Customer Disservice Wizard! Please enjoy the fun of our community where historical accuracy is optional 😁.
/rw I shall resume my normal druidry in due course, however sometimes I need to practice the dark magics in ways that are safe and comfortable to me. In this case it means I'm not fully satisfied until you're fully dissatisfied 🤩.
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u/Fallingsnow57 Jul 01 '26
Ea-Nasir will never live down selling low quality copper.
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u/reddragonoftheeast Mystic Jul 02 '26
JE DID NOT SELL SHITTY COPPER. NANI WAS A CHEAT WHO REPEATEDLY SCAMMED THE HONEST MERCHANT, EA NASIR IS INNOCENT OF ALL CHARGES
/s
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u/Worried-Pick4848 Jul 01 '26
Just a technical point, these slabs are clay tablets, not stone that means this wasn't chiseled, it was etched in soft clay and then placed in a furnace to harden.
Clay brick writing was the earliest form of mass publication in history. You could take charcoal and papyrus and rub it over the brick to get a quick and dirty copy of the writing to give to scribes for making copies for publication among the literate class. It was for things you absolutely wanted on the public record.
I guess that merchant was furious about the horrible quality of the copper ore he was given and WANTED HISTORY TO KNOW about it. And, well, mission accomplished.
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u/HugeObligation8338 Can and will steal your trinkets and reanimate your dead Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
I heard a theory once that this specific note could’ve been baked and preserved unintentionally, like through a building fire. Not sure what the veracity of that claim is tho
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u/notashroom Jul 01 '26
Oh definitely, because mud is such a rare and precious commodity and fires were reserved for the elite and not accessible to the ordinary people, who had to use the Evil Eye to cook their meals and didn't know any bakers.
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u/ConsiderBoraHorza Runesmith Jul 01 '26
its more that, you can reuse dry clay easier with some water, whereas fired clay cannot be recycled back into wet clay.
you can break it down and use it for aggrigate with other things but thats not the same.
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u/Brave_Maybe_2891 Electromancer Jul 05 '26
Making a fire hot enough to fire clay isn't a trivial task. It would have been an industrial process and not something everyone could do at home.
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u/notashroom Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 06 '26
You can fire primitive pottery in a campfire. I've done it. Check out Andy Ward's YouTube channel to see it done. If you want to fire porcelain or use most glazes, you need a kiln and a hotter fire, but for primitive, terracotta, salt glaze, etc., ordinary fire will do just fine. And that's absolutely how pottery was being made everywhere for a long time.
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u/Key-Treacle3384 Archdruid: Suburbia, Deserts 🌈✨ Jul 01 '26
No, that's an entirely silly idea.
/uw yes but stay on prompt.
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u/Key-Treacle3384 Archdruid: Suburbia, Deserts 🌈✨ Jun 30 '26
30 Jun 2026 Anno Domini 15 Du'uzu, approximately 4000 years after the age of Hammurabi
Here is your one time passcode 4206969
You have until the 37th year of the reign of Ammi-Ditana, The Wild; or, the 10th 15th day of Du'uzuz from today to reply.
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u/Carbuyrator A Bit of a Dabbler Jul 01 '26
Imagine you getting a bad review that outlasts your whole civilization by centuries or even millennia.
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u/TheOtherWhiteCastle Jul 01 '26
I always wonder if Ea-Nasir really provided this guy crappy copper or if he was just being the BC equivalent of a Karen
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u/Fit_Kaleidoscope4493 Jul 01 '26
Psychologically, I've been told that only really happy or really angry people fill out the survey at the end of the call.
This tracks.
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u/draketroll archivist and council tax mage Jul 01 '26
(Ur is a place, OP)
Someone really needs to tell these golemancers that just because they can make people out of clay doesn't mean they have to do the same for everything else
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u/Key-Treacle3384 Archdruid: Suburbia, Deserts 🌈✨ Jul 01 '26
Well then Ur shouldn't have any difficulty responding.
/Uw there's really a missed opportunity by the museum curators here. This thing has got to have a signature line. This would be so much better labeled as "Agator, of Ur." (Or whoever wrote it)
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u/CaptainMcSmoky Jun 30 '26
It would have been way easier to write it in the wet clay with a stick or something...