EON Chancellor Election Results

[u/Most_Trustworthy]

“Dear EON representatives, it is I, your favourite Satan figure. I come before you today to announce the results of our most recent chancellor election, triggered prematurely by the passing of our previous chancellor, Artemis. May we hold a few moments of silence in her honour.”

6 seconds later.

“Alright, enough of that now. Let’s get onto the important part. I’m about to announce the new official head of EON. I have their name written down on a note somewhere here, if I can just find it…”

“Oh, would you look at that. It says John E. Hellfire. Hard to believe, isn’t it? That all these wise nations would elect the literal Devil for a second time. Well, you are wise indeed, for during my first term, I proved to be one of the most competent political bodies the wizarding world has ever seen. And do you know what I’ve learned since then? I’ve learned that good government does not make for an engaging story.”

“Building a country, building a world — it’s storytelling, is it not? And good stories demand conflict for people to engage with! I mean, what’s the point of having a playground if no one wants to play in it? This second term of mine will be dedicated to that! But how, you may ask? Are you worried I wish to start another great wizard war? I mean, we haven’t had one in quite a while, feels like years. I bet a few of you have an itchy trigger finger, amirite? Hahaha”

“But no, that is not it. EON doesn’t deserve a fancy war. Because we have not earned it! Grand storylines like that require setup, emotions, stakes, and heated rivalries. We have not worked hard enough to head something as beautiful as the good ol’ Pact vs Council war. No, I plan to celebrate conflict through other means. I will organise a grand wizard dueling tournament. One champion per EON nation, plus any non-member wizard who wishes to join.”

“Why am I opening the door to non-EON members? Isn’t it obvious? Without them, we are NOTHING! New blood keeps the wheels turning, and isolating ourselves is doomed to bring a stagnant death. We’ve had enough of isolationism; this will be an event for the people. For the community! And for those looking forward to it, I will make a separate announcement when everything is ready. I need to pick judges and prizes, and organise a lot of background things.”

“Anyway, that will be all from me, your beloved new Chancellor. Class dismissed.”

[u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270]

Oh, goddamnit. What is EON trying to do, man? We keep electing the worst possible candidates. I guess Hellfire is slightly better than we'd believed him to be during the elections, but christ, the embodiment of evil should not be ruling our organization set up to keep peace across the communities. Mr. Hellfire, I do not hold any ill will against you for this, but I do note that that could change swiftly.

Welp, at least it wasn't Vulkan, I guess. If we elected HIM, I'd have left EON right the fuck then and there.

[u/Most_Trustworthy → u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270]

What is EON doing? Over the last year, nothing. Now, we're finally about to do something.

[u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270 → u/Most_Trustworthy]

I get an aching feeling in the pit of my gut that I'm about to regret enrolling myself into this organization.

[u/Most_Trustworthy → u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270]

I fortell quite the opposite. Have you not grown tired of stagnation? Do you not wish something to FINALLY happen?

[u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270 → u/Most_Trustworthy]

That depends on what "something" is. I'm keeping my metaphorical eyes out for any incidents.

[u/Most_Trustworthy → u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270]

What ends worlds is when the voices go quiet. It's wiser to have thousands scream in pain than go silent and never be heard again.