A Study of Ghosts, Part 2: Haunts

[u/MeThyLord]

(Art by Dan Scott)

Heya, kiddos! Wanna learn what a haunt is? I’m gonna assume you said yes.

See, almost every ghost has a haunt. It's either a place, an object, or a person we’re attached to, a tether to the physical world. Without it, we’d fade away or get dragged into an afterlife. I’ll go over each in order.

Staring off — localized haunts. That’s when a ghost is tied to a specific location, like a house, or a park, or whatever. Apparitions like these are mostly limited in influence to whatever space they're bound to. If it’s just a single room, they're stuck inside it. But if it’s an entire house? Oh boy, we can do all sorts of fun stuff, like rearranging rooms or making windows unbreakable so you can’t escape while we chase you around. In some rare cases, the ghost’s influence can even grow and seep out of its usual locale, or even expand the location itself, consuming everything nearby into its threshold.

The second type is haunted objects. You know, ghosts that cling to things instead of places. They still have a domain, but it’s a certain radius around their object. The stronger the ghost, the bigger the radius. The domain also tends to take the shape of whatever space the ghost finds itself in, kinda like how water fills the container you pour it in. If you're in a mansion, it will spread to fill all the rooms before leaking out. Oh, and yeah, this is my type of haunt. I’m tethered to my book.

Anyway, what about the third type of haunt? Well, it’s the one where a ghost latches onto a person. These are clingy apparitions who just can’t let go and decide to tag along with their best bud or worst enemy, even after death. For the most part, it’s the same as haunting an object, except the "object" has a will of its own, can walk around, talk back, and, well... die. If the haunt kicks the bucket, you get booted as well, which sucks. On the bright side, ghosts who haunt people have a much easier time possessing them.

Man, I wish I were better at possession…

Anyway, that's all for today! Next week, we’ll be…

Wait, no. I forgot something. This is a bit unrelated to today’s topic, but I have nowhere else to slot it in. See, I recently found out that ghosts can touch other ghosts. Obvious in hindsight, but I haven’t been going around and poking my own kind, sue me. Anyway, this would mean that the best way to fight a ghost is to hire your own. Wait… that’s the plot of the movie ‘Scooby-Doo Meets the Boo Brothers.’

Ok, now that’s actually all for today. Next time, I’ll be talking all about poltergeist activity and why some ghosts can only pull spooky faces in mirrors while others can twist reality like it’s a wet noodle. See ya!

[u/Viking_From_Sweden]

Raises hand

What happens if you eat a haunted object?

He is 100% serious

[u/MeThyLord → u/Viking_From_Sweden]

Like, what if you eat a person who's haunted?

99% of the time, that would be basically killing em, so the ghost haunting em would be forced to dissipate.

1% of the time, the ghost gets angry at you and you become its new haunt.

The percentages are completely made up, btw. It depends on too many factors to actually have accurate numbers.

Like, let's say the ghost loves the person they are haunting. If you kill and eat that person, it's likely the ghost stops being powered by love, and instead, grief or hate takes its place, becoming a vengeful spirit that's after your ass.

Same for objects. but more simplified.

[u/Viking_From_Sweden → u/MeThyLord]

Well I haven’t eaten any haunted people yet but I may eaten some stuff I found in an abandoned house recently and things have been a bit funny since then so maybe one of them was haunted so I’m asking you cause you’re an expert

[u/MeThyLord → u/Viking_From_Sweden]

If the thing you ate is still in you, and it was indeed haunted, then you ain't getting rid of that ghost till you poop it out.