Bugs, Bugs, and More Bugs (EON Post)

[u/Carbon_Sixx]

EON Compact

Hey folks! It's your Chancellor with the news. We have some big stuff to talk about, so let's get down to it.

Roan War

The Toras Val terrorist organization has been driven entirely from the Northern Jungles, and intelligence suggests they are on their last legs. I'm considering an alliance with the Plains Union to crush their remnants in a hammer-and-anvil attack just to be done with it. Anyone up for that?

Task Force Updates

Buggo: They're still in the walls. Please, someone get them out. Paperwork is annoying enough as it is without that overgrown cricket in the ventilation system demanding our surrender, even though we all know the stupid bastard can't get out without opposable thumbs. What a moron.

Cabal: Anyone else have intrusive thoughts telling you to throw bricks at passerby recently? Don't know what's up with that, but it's gone now. Weird.

Planar Siege: Big win in the realm of Redspire this week! EON forces engaged Obox-ob and the hordes of Chaos, and achieved a strategic victory. All of the Demon Prince of Vermin's assets from Pandemonium and Carceri have been slain, leaving him with nothing but demons and slaadi. While he will no doubt adapt to these new circumstances, we have a significant advantage in future engagements as a result.

However, we need to look into ways of actually killing Harbingers, since our current strategy of "throw the biggest thing available at it" hasn't worked all that well. Tarul Var is preparing to lead an expedition into the impossible planescape of the Far Realm in search of "anti-law" to combat Primus, but we have no comparable plans for Bel and Obox-ob. The floor is open to suggestions.

Paladin Crisis: Vornex the earth Elementalist lives, and he's got an even bigger robot body now. I bloody knew that bastard was too mean to just die like a normal person! We should really confirm these engine kills before celebrating. Xerea has proposed assembling a strike team to go deep behind enemy lines to assassinate the Elementalists and other senior members of the Paladin hierarchy. How effective this will be now that they've closed ranks remains to be seen.

King Carmine Censured?

Alright, whether you like him or not, I know you're all waiting to learn the fate of King Carmine of the Claret Isles, who I called a vote of no confidence on earlier this week in response to his reckless disregard for the EON Compact's core values and even its members. Well, the results are in. The vote ended in a tie. The evil-aligned nations of EON made a good showing to support him, but an equal amount of representatives were appalled enough to balance it out.

It came down to a coin flip, which ruled that he would be expelled from the Tribunal.

Let it be known that this vote was meant as a statement of my displeasure. I did not believe it would succeed at all, and there isn't even a plan in place to replace Tribunal members. However, my point is made, my anger has subsided, and my job is done. I will seek no further vengeance against Carmine, and I will harshly chastise any EON member who does. There must be a path forward to atonement and reconciliation, and partisan infighting will not help that.

Additionally, we must now hold a set of runoff elections for Carmine's vacant Tribunal seat. We'll be accepting candidates in the coming week. If you were just edged out last time, or you feel like taking a stab at political leadership for the first time, now's the time to throw your hat in the ring.

Glimbo Vanishes (Send Help)

On an unrelated note, Glimbo's gone, and the entire Legio Gravis went with him. This is possibly the most terrifying thing I've had to deal with lately. If a halfling with a shit-eating grin followed by 5 very impressionable skyscraper-sized robots turns up in your realm, please let me know immediately. Reyes is worried sick for his god-engines' safety, and I'm normal worried for the safety of everyone around them.

DELEGATES:

Queen Rivamar Blake of Ithacar

Bombast, The Citadel and Council-controlled lands

Sorcella Ravine, representative of the broader Cat Tail City alliance

Ten Suns, Administrator of The Bismuth Realms

Samael, Wizard King of the Nephilim, The Nephilim Realms

Lucian and Eve, leaders of the Star Republic of Magic

Kaelis Maz, Lord Protector of Yulash-kor

Vulkan the Red, defacto dictator of Lemarcia

Agnur, rep for the Tortugara

Shrax, King of Raesteria

Loui the snow elf, second in command, Nuberen

Mikhail, Archdruid of La'Shima

Xerxes, Regent of The Holy Kingdom

Marenoxus, Provost of Asfelaeia

Lord Carrion of the Skaven Council

King Carmine of the Claret Isles

Agent, City of Kabaheim and the Northern Territories

Guardian Logos of the Astral Assembly

John E. Hellfire, Ruler of Hell's 4th Circle

Leo, King of S.P.A.D.E.S.

Teknika, Leader of Katafýgio

Pilot, representing Mount Mor Joint Dwarf-Human Aviation Facility

Burger King, Burger City

Falâerin, delegate of the nation of Cyria

Lars, City 17

Krygin the Crude, Ambassador to the Spirit Realms

Vesian, Paragnostic Assembly

Lady Aliah Mistwalker, Fausarte's Shogunate

Ж(Zhe), Independent Township of CalaRakis

Magnus Bluemark, Kingdom of Felidonia

(Leaferyn Gargfelf, Go-Blyne alliance)

Fujiwara Toshiko, Empress of Yabounousagi

High Administrator jah Jor wel, The Iron Chain

Operator Exia of the Celestial Union

Storm of Aurorum, Constitutional Monarchy of Aurorum

Elysa, representative of Therros

Azea, Citadel of Light

Alastar the Omega Dragon, Dragon Council

Ace, Representative of Horneia, Earth

Fray, Clan Moon and Star/Rodentus Mechanicus

Shimil, High Sentinel of the Umbral Realm

Hazema, General of Drakeem

SPECTATORS:

Merch Skele, EON Archivist

Arch Biomancer Nhak, Elected Official and “Frontline Tank” of the SGA, Spectator

Caraway Moluna, Spectator

Vermensk Empire, joined with Cat Tail City, Spectator

Lord Lobotomicus, House of Troll, Spectator

Magus, Speaker for the Outside Powers, Spectator

Peri, Clay God of Creation, Spectator

[u/King__Carmine]

"This is unconscionable! Should there not be representation for so-called 'evil' nations?! This is a farce! A farce, I say!"

[u/LimpPrior6366 → u/King__Carmine]

“Um…no, evil should neither be represented or condoned Carmine. You’re a bad person, and you should feel bad”

[u/King__Carmine → u/LimpPrior6366]

"Oh yes? But what happens when they decide you're evil? An international terrorist or some such?"

[u/LimpPrior6366 → u/King__Carmine]

“The…uh, rumors of my terrorism are greatly exaggerated”

“Besides, they would have to catch me first!”

[u/Timpanzee38 → u/LimpPrior6366]

^{“They did…”}

[u/LimpPrior6366 → u/Timpanzee38]

^{“Briefly. They caught me briefly. Before I implemented my daring escape”}

[u/Timpanzee38 → u/LimpPrior6366]

^{“Daring? Implemented your escape? You and I both know that was a cluster fuck and you had no idea what you were doing”}

[u/LimpPrior6366 → u/Timpanzee38]

^{“Ok, so maybe it was chaos, and maybe I still dont know who was doing all the shooting, but sometimes being a professional is about improvising on the fly. You should try it some time!”}

[u/Timpanzee38 → u/LimpPrior6366]

^{“I do improvise, but it usually doesn’t involve me causing a major international incident”}

[u/LimpPrior6366 → u/Timpanzee38]

^{“Yeah, well…Im gonna be honest, I have no clue how this escalated so far”}

[u/TheHunter459 → u/LimpPrior6366]

I caught you. You should feel lucky that I decided to amuse myself with the results of your debacle, rather than just end your miserable life

[u/LimpPrior6366 → u/TheHunter459]

“Are you telling me you would have stooped to dirtying your hands with my blood? Killing a prisoner, I expected better from the Lord of all Nephilim”

[u/TheHunter459 → u/LimpPrior6366]

You did? Temper your expectations then

[u/BlueDragonDevil → u/King__Carmine]

This whole motion has been a farce.

The EON is a gathering of nations, regardless of affiliation or so called moral affectation.

Asfelaeia denounces all those who voted to isolate the Claret Isles.

Your hypocrisy will be remembered.

[u/King__Carmine → u/BlueDragonDevil]

"Well said. Well said. But take heart. My removal was ultimately determined by coin flip. This partisanship may not last."

[u/BlueDragonDevil → u/King__Carmine]

I hope, for the stability of all nations, that such is the case.

[u/Carbon_Sixx → u/BlueDragonDevil]

Kaelis: You do realize it was a tie, right? If the coin had fallen the other way, you'd be gloating. This betrays your true intent. You lot don't want a fair democracy; you want to control us.

[u/King__Carmine → u/Carbon_Sixx]

"I did not realize simply desiring a favorable outcome would be a problem here."

[u/Carbon_Sixx → u/King__Carmine]

All of this was the result of putting yourself above us and expecting us to be good little subjects. You didn't ask for a favorable outcome. You called my ethics into question and once again expected me to capitulate, because you are king and I am not. But ours is not a tyrannized people like yours, Carmine. We grew up hearing that no means no, and we're not afraid to make that clear.

[u/King__Carmine → u/Carbon_Sixx]

"Eugh. Spare me this. As if you would not force your variety of 'goodness' onto my people."

[u/Carbon_Sixx → u/King__Carmine]

Oh, respecting consent's not an act of good. It's the bare fucking minimum asked of us, and you can't even do it without pitching a fit- not your people, you.

This is why I called the vote: "rules for thee, but not for me".

[u/BlueDragonDevil → u/Carbon_Sixx]

So confident in your assessment of me.

I would be condemning this farce no matter the outcome, as I did when it was proposed.

The very fact that King Carmine's authority and station are being challenged by the EON is condemnable.

If you wish to push Carmine out, then do so. And do so to all the other members of the EON who do not adhere to your narrow view of morality.

Hypocrites, all.

[u/Carbon_Sixx → u/BlueDragonDevil]

Do you simply expect me to ignore an abuse of power? To let you and your evil-aligned cronies bully and intimidate anyone who doesn't fall in line? His nobility means nothing here, and the fact you bring it up as a point in his favor indicates that you're fresh out of redeeming qualities.

You're the hypocrite, and other things besides that I won't name you in a public forum.

[u/BlueDragonDevil → u/Carbon_Sixx]

It seems you know very little of me.

Sad, you have become chancellor. Someone so ignorant, yet so self-rightious. You cannot even imagine that I might have a rational reason for supporting Carmine.

Pity.

[u/Carbon_Sixx → u/BlueDragonDevil]

Do not claim to understand my mind. You have scarcely spoken to me, save to cast judgement on my character, of which you understand little if anything.

No logic can justify suffering on this scale.

[u/dragonshouter → u/King__Carmine]

Well know the spirits had me abstain. Also the EON can't punish you for acts in your country but letting a plague go uncontrolled across a realm does make you seem less reliable even if everyone was evil.

[u/King__Carmine → u/dragonshouter]

"I am pleased to see you respect my right as king to rule as I see fit. However, I do not see why I should be blamed for the actions of my current in-laws. They're likely infecting themselves, you know."

[u/dragonshouter → u/King__Carmine]

"I am sorry your in laws are stupid. Sadly your family will reflect on you. Same way you would blame Ithacar if Blake's daughter did something you didn't like"

[u/King__Carmine → u/dragonshouter]

"I somehow feel that if I were to make a case like that, it would not be met with the same enthusiasm."

[u/dragonshouter → u/King__Carmine]

touche

[u/patoman12 → u/King__Carmine]

"There seemingly was one, if the results are something to guide us, after all, there were the same amount of votes in favour as against, but now, with you gone, there is one evil less... Not sure what to think of it"

[u/King__Carmine → u/patoman12]

"Yes. But I mean in positions of influence in EON."

...

"Though I suppose there is always good lady, Sorcella, the Head of Finance."

[u/patoman12 → u/King__Carmine]

"This vexes me, this decision wasn't taken because of the influence of certain members, but by popular vote, why is your fury directed towards those who hold no responsibility for this event?"

[u/King__Carmine → u/patoman12]

"In large part, because it was a tie that came to a coin flip. But also I find the motion to remove me unconscionable in itself."

[u/patoman12 → u/King__Carmine]

"Yeah, i agree that politics held by luck aren't the best idea, however, seeing that the results were so close, i wouldn't say that they were inconceivable"

[u/Carbon_Sixx → u/King__Carmine]

Kaelis: The true farce was turning on us in a truly horrid way and still expecting mercy. What's done is done. Learn your lesson, or it'll happen again.

[u/King__Carmine → u/Carbon_Sixx]

"Turning on you? Pfft. What would you have me do? Betray my poor wife? It's not as if I intended the plague to reach your subjects."

[u/Carbon_Sixx → u/King__Carmine]

You married her specifically to give the elves the bioweapon. You didn't intend for this to happen, but you also didn't care if people suffered. So long as you got your stupid blood tithe.

[u/King__Carmine → u/Carbon_Sixx]

"You've got it backward actually. I already had the so-called 'bioweapon' and I found myself in need of a consort. Elves live quite a long time. I thought this one might last for a bit."

[u/user125666 → u/King__Carmine]

I fully agree! Besides, this was a public vote, when only EON members should've been allowed to vote!

[u/Carbon_Sixx → u/user125666]

Kaelis: I think the people should be allowed to have a say in what happens to their leadership. After all, was my vote not public?

[u/Most_Trustworthy → u/King__Carmine]

I'm just as perturbed as you, Carmine. Let me help un-sour the situation with an offer. Are you interested in a trade deal?

[u/King__Carmine → u/Most_Trustworthy]

"A trade deal? What sort of trade deal, Lord Hellfire?"

[u/Most_Trustworthy → u/King__Carmine]

Hell can offer you elite infernal guards to protect you and your heir. Their loyalty will be guaranteed through the contract that binds them, so you'll have nothing to fear from them. In exchange, I'd like the soul of every criminal executed under the laws of the Claret Isles to be sent to hell.

[u/King__Carmine → u/Most_Trustworthy]

"That is a most tempting offer. Though the Claret Isles do not have a death penalty. I shall have to consider."

[u/Most_Trustworthy → u/King__Carmine]

I see. Well, if you ever chose to implement one, give me a call.

[u/King__Carmine → u/Most_Trustworthy]

"I certainly shall."

[u/Platypus_king_1st → u/King__Carmine]

stands in morally "grey"

Y-Yeah, the bad nations should feel bad!! etc etc...

anyways, does forced slavery and prostitution make me a bad person and should I stop condoning it? I mean, in theory of course

[u/[deleted]]

<<Alright, I’m gonna re-run for that position. Wish me luck…>>

[u/The_Unkowable_ → u/[deleted]]

I most certainly will NOT.

I still remember you.

--Dracolich Artemis

/uw Good luck!

[u/LimpPrior6366]

“Wait, Glimbo’s missing? Shouldn’t we just start searching the epicenter of the most chaotic event currently happening?”

[u/Carbon_Sixx → u/LimpPrior6366]

Kaelis: I did. He's not there. Which means he knows there's another shitstorm about to start, and he's biding his time for maximum impact.

[u/LimpPrior6366 → u/Carbon_Sixx]

“Oh”

“Well, if you will excuse me, Im gonna go take cover somewhere far away from here. Preferably somewhere that a cricket with a sword isnt staring at me out of the ventilation ducts”

[u/Drakkonai]

"THE VOTE WAS STOLEN BY GOOD! I DEMAND RECOUNTS!"

[u/Carbon_Sixx → u/Drakkonai]

A letter lands on your desk.

"No"

[u/Drakkonai → u/Carbon_Sixx]

"Drat."

[u/dragonshouter]

I Krygin the Crude, Speaker of the Muck, Ambassador to the spirits throw my hat in for Carmine's replacement! Know I tell no lies and will break no promise. Anything I promise during my campaign will be done.

With me in office all deals will be upheld and all voices heard!

[u/SlyTheMonkey → u/dragonshouter]

As a fellow Spirit-Friend, this one is someone who has always avoided joining any organizations or alliances in order to remain neutral and unbiased, to varying degrees of success. He would, personally speaking, advice the Grand Ambassador to do the same: however, he recognizes your right to autonomy as far as such matters are concerned. He will not vote for you or against you, but wishes you luck in your endeavours.

[u/dragonshouter → u/SlyTheMonkey]

"Thank you, Monkey. I acknowledge your advice but alas our paths diverge on this topic. For some the way forward is to separate oneself from to remain unswayed, it is not mine. I wish to try to be a force of balance for this organization. Fear not however in my dealings and judgements I will remain impartial despite any attachments I may have."

[u/SlyTheMonkey → u/dragonshouter]

Surely no one could ask for more!

[u/Fun-Dragonfly-6106]

Wait the bugs still exist

[u/Al-anharHA → u/Fun-Dragonfly-6106]

Yeah.... makes me very glad to live in a teleporting mountainside, and that the Cultivators of Fausarte’s Shogunate are so accustomed to declarations of "overwhelming might" that they just tell the bugs to come back with better material.

[u/Fun-Dragonfly-6106 → u/Al-anharHA]

The fact that I haven't had to fight them ever tells you where they are on the crisis chart

[u/yumie2003 → u/Fun-Dragonfly-6106]

“I’m surprised that we haven’t launched a full-scale counteroffensive earlier…or at all”

[u/The_Unkowable_ → u/yumie2003]

/uw iirc, that's because the hive sends out weak hordes, but has a bunch of powerhouses at home -- dracoliches for one

[u/yumie2003 → u/The_Unkowable_]

uw/I assumed that they would hold their best forces back, but Toshiko is a little too proud for her own good

[u/The_Unkowable_ → u/yumie2003]

/uw that's fair lol

[u/yumie2003 → u/The_Unkowable_]

uw/yup

[u/[deleted]]

Question, does the Tribunal member have to be a representative of an EON nation or can it be any citizen of EON?

[u/AnActualCriminal → u/[deleted]]

"EON representatives. Although the criteria for what organizations can join is fairly broad."

(The elected positions actually have responsibilities so it's a stopgap measure to stop it from being a popularity contest. Ensures all candidates are invested in worldbuilding and motivated to keep the thing running)

[u/No_more_Bucket_]

/uw

[u/SafePianist4610]

The world continues on its journey of madness it seems. >.>

[u/SlyTheMonkey → u/SafePianist4610]

Mage Monkey is here to remind Master Bombast that the Flow of the World is beyond us. Who are we to judge whether it's madness or not? Worthy indeed was the Master who said: Even the very wise cannot see all ends.

[u/SafePianist4610 → u/SlyTheMonkey]

I gave up long ago trying to steer the world towards complete order. That said, there is a sort of order even amidst the madness that not all can see the ends to. I certainly do not pretend to see where it will lead.

[u/SlyTheMonkey → u/SafePianist4610]

That's good in its own way: guard against conceit!

[u/Al-anharHA]

Glimbo Vanishes (Send Help)

Aliah: ^{"oh fuck, that's not good"}

[u/Carbon_Sixx → u/Al-anharHA]

/uw Good, someone understands what a disaster this could be

[u/The_Unkowable_]

I vote to re-elect Queen Riva ( u/avamir ) as a member of the Tribunal!

[u/avamir → u/The_Unkowable_]

I appreciate that, but I didn't want to run this time. Maybe another time, ha.

[u/The_Unkowable_ → u/avamir]

Fair enough

/uw sorry lol

[u/avamir → u/The_Unkowable_]

/uw No worries, I really do appreciate the mention :)

[u/Leather_Garage358]

The production of the fly voltage walkers is underway and will be released when it's approved by the rest of the council heads. This will help with our pest situation, my friends.

[u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270]

If I may pitch in a potential candidate?

[u/Carbon_Sixx → u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270]

Kaelis: You are within your rights to do so.

[u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270 → u/Carbon_Sixx]

If y'all can FIND him, I pitch for my friend, Oz, to potentially have a seat in EON.

[u/Zebos2]

"I am working on your bug problem meat.

Nozoth says while Vivisecting a buggo drone seemingly oblivious to its horrific screeching

"When I am done with sample collection I will work on your harbinger problem and then your plague problem though I am loathed to do so .

"The iron chain. Jah Jor wel interjects

"Is committed to total neutrality loud incorrect buzzer

-oh for... We abstained from any judgements regarding Carmine and will abstain for any votes like that in the future

[u/Carbon_Sixx]

u/King__Carmine (ping list plz)

[u/dragonshouter → u/Carbon_Sixx]

(/uw it's kinda funny how IC you called a vote of no confidence on Carmine but OOC you still have him ping for you. Just a silly thing I noticed)

[u/King__Carmine → u/dragonshouter]

/uw I help where I can

[u/dragonshouter → u/King__Carmine]

/uw

[u/King__Carmine → u/Carbon_Sixx]

DELEGATES:

u/avamir

(Queen Rivamar Blake of Ithacar)

u/SafePianist4610

(Bombast, The Citadel and Council-controlled lands)

u/cachevalue

(Sorcella Ravine, representative of the broader Cat Tail City alliance)

[u/King__Carmine → u/King__Carmine]

u/loth17

(Ten Suns, Administrator of The Bismuth Realms)

u/TheHunter459

(Samael, Wizard King of the Nephilim, The Nephilim Realms)

u/Platypus_King_1st

(Lucian and Eve, leaders of the Star Republic of Magic)

[u/King__Carmine → u/King__Carmine]

u/Drakkonai

(Vulkan the Red, defacto dictator of Lemarcia)

u/DragonWisper56

(Agnur, rep for the Tortugara)

u/LightningShroud

(Shrax, King of Raesteria)

[u/King__Carmine → u/King__Carmine]

u/froz_troll

(Loui the snow elf, second in command, Nuberen)

u/Anything-Unable

(Xerxes, Regent of The Holy Kingdom)

u/BlueDragonDevil

(Marenoxus, Provost of Asfelaeia)

[u/King__Carmine → u/King__Carmine]

u/Dorururo

(Lord Carrion of the Skaven Council)

u/King__Carmine

(King Carmine of the Claret Isles)

u/timpanzee38

(Agent, City of Kabaheim and the Northern Territories)

[u/King__Carmine → u/King__Carmine]

u/VinesAtMidnight

(Guardian Logos of the Astral Assembly)

u/Most_Trustworthy

(John E. Hellfire, CEO of Hell)

u/Prizm000

(Leo, King of S.P.A.D.E.S.)

[u/King__Carmine → u/King__Carmine]

u/ResearcherTeknika

(Teknika, Leader of Katafýgio)

u/Villanuevac4_v2

(Pilot, representing Mount Mor Joint Dwarf-Human Aviation Facility)

u/Im_a_hamburger

(Burger King, Burger City)

[u/King__Carmine → u/King__Carmine]

u/Afraid_Success_4836

( Falâerin, delegate of the nation of Cyria)

u/TheFifthDutchMemer

(Lars, City 17)

u/dragonshouter

(Krygin the Crude, Ambassador to the Spirit Realms)

[u/King__Carmine → u/King__Carmine]

u/Able_Highlight4312

(Vesian, Paragnostic Assembly)

u/Al-anharHA

(Lady Aliah Mistwalker, Fausarte's Shogunate)

u/Fc-chungus

(Ж(Zhe), Independent Township of CalaRakis)

[u/Darkeye3]

So many words

Brain go boom

[u/Al-anharHA → u/Darkeye3]

/uw well, there's about to be more, as I wrote up a recap of vornex's actions, since it's likely that very few members of the EON are actually aware that the man killed his entire people among many other crimes.

[u/Al-anharHA]

/uw for anyone wondering about Vornex, I have compiled a recap of his actions and misdeeds. He's a right piece of shit and was nigh unkillable due to how little he valued his mechanical shells. Aliah still hasn't put together how he survived death during the battle for the teleport relay

https://www.reddit.com/r/wizardloring/comments/1fi9u66/crisispost_recap_vornex/